Empathy is often lauded as a cornerstone of effective leadership, as it helps leaders connect with their teams and build trust. For some leaders, though, an overly empathic approach can deplete their energy reserves and emotional capacity, blurring their decision-making, stalling accountability and even opening the door to burnout, all of which negatively impact trust. How can a leader lean into their empathy and EQ while still driving high performance?
As the members of Forbes Coaches Council know, striking the right balance as a leader helps create sustainable growth, a strong culture and long-term success. Here, 20 members share strategies for leveraging one’s innate empathy without seeing diminishing returns as a leader.
Jane, there's a part of that speech, that SAG speech, about the arts. And you say specifically that the arts has the power to create empathy, to understand a human so profoundly that you can touch another person's soul. And I always wondered this about actors. What makes one want to sit in those emotions? What is that like for you? What is it that you enjoy most about that?
FONDA: Oh, it's the most thrilling thing in the world. The whole process of getting to know another character so well that you respond spontaneously the way they would, not the way you would, that's just a joyful experience. You understand why they are the way they are deeply. You may play somebody who you don't like, you know, whose values don't reflect yours. But you get down to what made them human. What is the humanness in them? That's great. That's why acting leads to empathy.
The effect intensified with political extremity. The study of 55 participants found that the more someone endorsed right-wing authoritarian values, the weaker their neural empathy response. The researchers noted it was as if the conservative brain’s empathy circuits were “dialed down”, not broken, but muted by default.
Conservative Christians are trying to argue that empathy is a sin. Dr. Rashad Richey and Jackson White discuss on Indisputable. Tell us what you think in the comments below.
"WASHINGTON (AP) — Empathy is usually regarded as a virtue, a key to human decency and kindness. And yet, with increasing momentum, voices on the Christian right are preaching that it has become a vice.
For them, empathy is a cudgel for the left: It can manipulate caring people into accepting all manner of sins according to a conservative Christian perspective, including abortion access, LGBTQ+ rights, illegal immigration and certain views on social and racial justice."
A new study co-written by a team of University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign experts who study workplace sexual harassment finds that men and women often respond differently when they witness sexual harassment in the workplace.
I had a profoundly important discussion about toxic empathy with Dr Joe Rigney, theologian, pastor and author of The Sin of Empathy. His warnings about the misuse of empathy are urgent. His analysis has sharp relevance for marriage today. Do have a listen to our full discussion here:
Dr Rigney explains that empathy, when untethered from truth and goodness, becomes a tool of manipulation. He warns that churches, in a desire to please the progressive gaze, have muted biblical teaching on marriage and sexuality. They have instead adopted a compassion defined by liberal ideology rather than by scripture. The result is compromise, capitulation and decline. Some denominations that embraced such sentiment now fly the ‘Pride’ flag and solemnise same-sex unions. This is a vivid example of empathy leading directly to doctrinal collapse.
Rigney argues that the substitution of ‘sympathy’ with the etymologically recent ‘empathy’ has had destructive results. What passes for compassion often indulges destructive lifestyles, fuels tribalism and trades truth for falsehood. Real compassion, by contrast, seeks long-term good, even when that means saying hard truths. The danger is clear: empathy as defined by progressives has been used to usher LGBT ideology into churches, pushing aside conviction and undermining marriage.
Far from being a soft skill, empathy is a strategic leadership tool for understanding why people avoid owning mistakes.
Exploring with empathy
Sadly, many papers written on empathy focus on why it is important, but not how to apply it. This is why, as a speaker and trainer on empathy, I developed a Perspective Taking Tool to make empathy practical.
Here is how it works: Write the behavior you’re trying to understand in a box, in the middle of a sheet of paper, for example, ‘People not owning their errors.’ Then, to the left, brainstorm rational reasons for this behavior. This could be:
by Jaclyn Morse I often find that I come across the most profound pieces of wisdom seemingly at random (which can also be viewed as synchronistic events — delivering information I need to hear at the exact time I am open to hearing it). A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a podcast episode on an airplane, “The Empathy Edge with Maria Ross” from the Wisdom From The Top podcast with Guy Raz. She spoke about how empathy is excellent for business and gave an example in the context of leadership:
Empathy is not just sitting around and crying with your employees on the floor, right, that’s not empathy. But it’s, “I can totally understand your point of view, and I know I need to make a really tough decision, and I don’t really want to make this decision, but how can I make this as smooth of a decision for you as possible?”
“When someone feels thoroughly understood, you release potent forces for change within them. Not agreed with, but understood. When you feel thoroughly heard, you’re less adversarial. And the demonstration of understanding, the articulation of the other side’s point of view — purely that, no agreement at all — that’s the application of empathy…. [Also] the act of trying to articulate how the other side is feeling calms you down. It kicks in a certain amount of reason in you. It broadens your perspective.”
- Chris Voss, former F.B.I. lead international kidnapping and hostage negotiator, author of “Never Split the Difference”
Denmark is one of the happiest countries in the world. This is according to the UN’s World Happiness Report, an important survey that since 2012 classifies the happiness of 155 countries in the world, and that for seven years has placed Denmark among the top three happiest countries on a global level. The fact that teaching empathy has been mandatory since 1993 in schools in Denmark is a factor that contributes to the happiness of the country.
Empathy helps build relationships, prevent bullying and succeed at work. It promotes the growth of leaders, entrepreneurs and managers. “Empathic teenagers” tend to be more successful because they are more oriented towards the goals compared to their more narcissistic peers.
The divisiveness in our world has left us isolated. We have lost much of our ability to work together which we know achieves far more than working alone. Empathy is the pivot point in building our connections, in building our trust in each other, in building a better world. As a leader in the world of work, Johnny has seen first-hand how empathetic workplaces are better workplaces. Whether you lead in an office or volunteer in a homeless shelter, in this talk, explore the powerful role empathy plays in every human relationship and every collective endeavor.
According to the Associated Press, there’s a movement of Christians who believe that empathy “can manipulate caring people into accepting all manner of sins according to a conservative Christian perspective, including abortion access, LGBTQ+ rights, illegal immigration and certain views on social and racial justice.”
In other words, these Christians believe that empathy is bad.
The article goes on to explain that Allie Beth Stuckey, author of “Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion,” believes that empathy has been co-opted “to convince people that the progressive position is exclusively the one of kindness and morality.”
The Great Empathy Commandment has been very useful in the degradation of Christian morals and ethics, let alone evangelism, pastoral counseling, etc. Sixty years ago it was almost unthinkable that the Christian people would, by a majority, think homosexuality a “gift from God,” but that is the case today. Why? Empathy. “Walk a mile in their shoes. Consider their life. ENTER INTO their emotional experience.”
Then it went from simple homosexuality to the redefining of marriage. Now, polyamory, polygamy. And with 2015, every form of gender-destroying “experience.” You must empathize. You must “enter in” or your are “unloving.” Already the push to empathize with those who naturally experience “intergenerational love” (pedophiles) is in the academy and the culture. Marrying your cat or your Siamese fighting fish is just around the corner. Just empathize with the experience. Validate it. Then submit.
AI is reshaping the workplace as companies are turning to it as a substitute for hiring, raising questions about the future of the job market. For many, there is uncertainty about the jobs their children will have. Robert Reich, the Labor Secretary under President Clinton and professor at Berkeley, joined Geoff Bennett to discuss his new essay, "How your kids will make money in a world of AI."
The video "Future Jobs: How to Thrive in the Age of AI" says that empathy will be increasingly important in the future job market [02:43].
The video highlights a few key points about empathy:
Jobs that require empathy, such as childcare, eldercare, nursing, and therapy, are less likely to be replaced by AI because they involve a human touch that AI cannot replicate [04:47].
Even though AI may be able to simulate human interaction, it cannot replace genuine human care and connection [03:08].
The speaker suggests that these "caring jobs" that rely on empathy will be a significant part of the future job market as other sectors become more automated [05:17].
Empathy doesn’t register with the right wing extremists. I fear we will, and/or are, becoming the same. IMO: our empathy is waning due to the abuse, fear, and anger we are all experiencing. Example: Rudy Giuliani has a car accident and is injured. Many will, and did, cheer.
Some Christians are skeptical about empathy, mistakenly assuming that it coddles others and reinforces sinful behavior. Yet genuine empathy (even when we sin) helps us understand our struggles and strengthens us to grow in Christlikeness. Thankfully, loving and healthy empathy is modeled all over the Bible and not only comforts us but leads us toward truth and responsibility.
Join us for this episode of Soul Talks as Bill and Kristi address concerns you might hear about empathy in some Christian circles. You’ll discover fresh insights from the empathy scriptures they teach in their new book, Deeply Loved, and learn the importance of holding others in God’s empathy while the Spirit draws them toward transformation.
New ACM TOSEM paper on novel Empathy & Software Engineering theory:
Gunatilake, H., Grundy, J.C., Hoda, R., Mueller, I. The Role of Empathy in Software Engineering - A Socio-Technical Grounded Theory, to appear in ACM Transactions on Software Engineering and Methodology (TOSEM)
Empathy, defined as the ability to understand and share others’ perspectives and emotions, is essential in software engineering (SE), where developers often collaborate with diverse stakeholders. It is also considered as a vital competency in many professional fields such as medicine, healthcare, nursing, animal science, education, marketing, and project management.
Despite its importance, empathy remains under-researched in SE. To further explore this, we conducted a socio-technical grounded theory (STGT) study through in-depth semi-structured interviews with 22 software developers and stakeholders. Our study explored the role of empathy in SE and how SE activities and processes can be improved by considering empathy.
Through applying the systematic steps of STGT data analysis and theory development, we developed a theory that explains the role of empathy in SE. Our theory details the contexts in which empathy arises, the conditions that shape it, the causes and consequences of its presence and absence.
Empathy is the emotional glue that binds all relationships. I’ve never had an adult client come into my office and say, “My parents took too much time to truly listen to me. That really messed up my childhood.”
When children refuse and resist, responding with empathy feels unnatural. After all, defiant children are argumentative. They have a short fuse. They are emotionally reactive. They resent parental directives and defy them boldly. Over time, they become conditioned to engage in power struggles. Punishment becomes counterproductive.
This is when empathy is difficult to muster — and necessary.
So how can organizations cultivate empathy as the foundation for psychological safety and a healthy culture? Consider these practices:
1. Model empathetic leadership. Leaders must go first. By demonstrating curiosity, listening without interruption, and acknowledging the feelings of others, leaders create a blueprint for the team.
2. Foster peer-to-peer empathy. Encourage team members to check in with one another, ask open-ended questions, and share personal experiences. Peer empathy reinforces belonging and shared accountability.
3. Encourage vulnerability. Social media is everyone’s highlight reel; empathy thrives when people are willing to be real. Leaders and peers alike should model vulnerability by admitting mistakes, sharing challenges, and asking for help. This invites reciprocity.
4. Practice perspective-taking. Create opportunities for role-playing or “walking in someone else’s shoes.” This builds the ability to see situations from multiple vantage points.
Professor of Psychology at The New School for Social Research
There has been much criticism of Elon Musk's suggestion in early 2025, in conversation with Joe Rogan, that empathy is a weakness of Western civilization. In fact, as believing Christians, Jews, or Muslims know, the founders and leaders of these major world religions advocate understanding of others, empathy for their suffering, and the pursuit of peaceable relations with all. Yet, even as believers or non-believers know, we often fall short of our ideals. And the best way to deal with this sense of shortcoming is to redouble our efforts and try anew to empathize with others, and act with a moral sensibility for the betterment of ourselves, others, and the world we live in.
A popular psychological theory that assumes, counter to the idea of "original sin," that we are born essentially good is attachment theory, the product of the British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby.
Chris Voss, a former F.B.I. hostage negotiator and author, spoke with David Marchese, co-host of "The Interview" at The New York Times, about President Trump’s negotiation tactics.
“The Interview” features conversations with the world’s most fascinating people. Each week, co-hosts David Marchese and Lulu Garcia-Navarro talk to compelling, influential figures in culture, politics, business, sports and beyond — illuminating who they are, why they do what they do and how they impact the rest of us.
Chapters:
00:01 - Introduction 01:20 - How Voss became an FBI negotiator 05:47 - Tactical empathy 10:41 - How to identify people you can’t negotiate with 13:13 - Empathy and Elon Musk 14:45 - Chris Voss on Trump’s negotiation skills 20:37 - Does Trump have empathy? 23:30 - Conflict versus collaboration 27:20 - How to talk to your boss 29:11 - The illusion of control 31:09 - Negotiations Voss has lost 34:58 - Why compromise isn’t a good thing 37:18 - Should we always be goal-oriented?
Constant change, distributed teams, and increasing complexity mark today’s workplace. In such an environment, people can feel vulnerable. They worry about being judged, making mistakes, or being left behind. Without a foundation of empathy, these concerns can quickly turn into fear, defensiveness, and disengagement.
Empathy prompts us to see situations through others’ eyes, recognize their ideas and emotions, and validate their experiences. When leaders and peers consistently practice empathy, they send a powerful message: “You matter.” Once people believe they matter, it lays the groundwork for a healthy culture rooted in collaboration and accountability.
Empathy is a business imperative. Teams that feel psychologically safe outperform those that don’t. Studies from Google’s Project Aristotle and others have shown that psychological safety is the single most important predictor of team effectiveness. And empathy is the gateway to achieving it.
4-Step Empathy Practice Toolkit Step 1: Investigate Their World When trying to engage with other professionals, research beyond the surface level. Look at their LinkedIn activity, recent posts, their company announcements and so on. What are they celebrating? What problems are they trying to solve? Also, check other social media to gather a holistic view of their personality so you have enough tools to build more intel before creating a compelling strategic narrative.
For unexpected face-to-face meetings (where you bump into someone unexpectedly), use common sense and observe facial expressions and body language reactions. Follow your intuition (which the most sophisticated AI doesn't have).
Empathy is often lauded as a cornerstone of effective leadership, as it helps leaders connect with their teams and build trust. For some leaders, though, an overly empathic approach can deplete their energy reserves and emotional capacity, blurring their decision-making, stalling accountability and even opening the door to burnout, all of which negatively impact trust. How can a leader lean into their empathy and EQ while still driving high performance?
As the members of Forbes Coaches Council know, striking the right balance as a leader helps create sustainable growth, a strong culture and long-term success. Here, 20 members share strategies for leveraging one’s innate empathy without seeing diminishing returns as a leader.
Listening, showing empathy and working to understand how employees feel is a powerful way to build trust around AI implementation, Covey said. Employees need understanding from a leader in the same way that a body needs oxygen. Listening to what they have to say and showing some understanding of their opinions won’t necessarily fix any issues, but it shows that you value being on the same page. Covey said it’s also important to respect their opinions, even if they are contrary to your plans.
It’s also vital to explain why you’re moving forward with AI, Covey said. An explanation provides context, meaning, and an opening to wider understanding from employees. Talking directly about the reasoning behind AI implementation helps employees see that you’re being transparent—a vital element to building trust. And, he added, trust built on transparency will remain, even if the employees are still fearful about what AI will do for their jobs.
Just when you thought the culprit behind America’s moral decline was pop stars or bad coffee, along comes a group of conservative Christian thought-leaders declaring that empathy—yes, feeling for other people—is, in fact, a sin. If you’re checking to make sure you didn’t just wander into a parody site, relax: the empathy-is-evil movement is quite real, and its high priests are Joe Rigney, Allie Beth Stuckey, and James White. Their message? Stop identifying with suffering. It’s what the devil wants.
Let’s get straight to it. The idea that empathy could be considered a sin would get you laughed out of a middle school ethics class or a kindergarten circle—unless, that is, you’re deep in the trenches of American evangelical culture wars, where even loving your neighbor must be subjected to a worldview litmus test.
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