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The latest news, articles, videos, books, posts about Self-Empathy and Self-Compassion - CultureOfEmpathy.com
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Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page

Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
All Front Page Sections, Empathy and: Animals, Art, Compassion, Education, Empaths, Health Care, Learning, Justice, Teaching, Work, Self-empathy, Self-compassion, etc

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Thanks so much.
Edwin Rutsch, Editor
http://CultureOfEmpathy.com
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norma neiva's comment, June 6, 2011 7:28 PM
Muito obrigada por tudo que li e ouvi. A paz!! vou apreender pra mim e a outros.
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Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits

Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Most people would agree that having a compassionate stance towards oneself is desirable. But how do you cultivate self-compassion?


Let’s quickly define the term. In this article, “compassion” means tenderhearted recognition of pain or distress, coupled with a desire to alleviate it.


Each component of this definition—recognition, tenderheartedness, and a desire to alleviate distress—offers opportunities for cultivating compassion.


=======================

This article will look at how the skill

of “recognition” can help you

grow self-compassion.

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by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

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Self-Compassion, Part IV: Coping with Distress

Self-Compassion, Part IV: Coping with Distress | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Healing only occurs when one can feel their pain without becoming overwhelmed by it. Self-compassion can help achieve this balance.


In this series, we have been looking at how to increase the compassion you have for yourself. The first article looked at the concept of self-compassion as a whole, the second explored how to recognize your limits, and the third focused on how to have tenderheartedness toward your distress. This article is the final installation on using compassion in facing and accepting emotional distress.


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I encourage you to practice growing
self-compassion for who you are,
who you have been, and for all that
you have gone through.

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by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

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Video: Do customers need more empathy

Video: Do customers need more empathy | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Do customers need more empathy? How do you know?


The 29 Quality Assurance Mistakes to Avoid e-book and self-assessment includes the question Do you include the customers’ rating of agents’ empathy to their situation as part of your current quality process?  The e-book contains reflective questions designed to uncover opportunities with Quality Assurance programs within contact centers. Identifying opportunities or detecting weaknesses is a critical step on the journey to elevate your contact center to one of undeniable importance to the organization. Let’s not get too focused on finding answers in a benchmarking report.


==========================

So how can you determine when

customers need more empathy?

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How to Turn Self-Hatred into Self-Compassion

How to Turn Self-Hatred into Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

by Stacey Freedentha 


Too often, 
people brutally judge and attack themselves. If everyone treated others as poorly as they treat themselves, the old biblical adage, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” could be a recipe for war.


Incessant negative beliefs about oneself may be called self-judgment, self-attack, or low self-esteem, but it all boils down to one menacing problem: self-hatred. At its most extreme, self-hatred can lead people to retreat into substance use, suicidal and other self-destructive behaviors, or violence toward others.


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At its most extreme, self-hatred can lead

people to retreat into substance use,

suicidal and...

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The Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion -INFOGRAPHIC

The Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion -INFOGRAPHIC | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Many of us believe being self-critical and hard on ourselves is a good thing.

We mistakenly think that being competitive and pushing ourselves hard is required for success. Research, however, is proving these theories wrong.


Most of us don’t stop to consider whether our self-critical and competitive attitude are helping us achieve our goals. We don’t realize that they are actually standing in our way.


Scientific data shows that self-criticism makes us weaker in the face of failure, more emotional, and less likely to assimilate lessons from our failures.


========================

Studies are finding that there is a far

better alternative to self-criticism:

self-compassion

===============


by Emma Seppala 

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Betty Skeet's curator insight, February 28, 4:02 AM

Being kind to ourselves a key  to being better at what we do and how we deal with others, not to mention Wellbeing and contenment.

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How to silence the inner critic by cultivating self-compassion

How to silence the inner critic by cultivating self-compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

The Inner critic subpersonality (superego)
is that critical inner voice that
judges, attacks, demeans
and beats us up.

It usually stems from our childhood through:


  • not being seen or heard
  • a lack of emotional, psychological and spiritual support
  • experiencing critical parents or high parental expectations
  • pejorative cultural, religious and societal rules


The inner critic keeps us stuck in shame, low self-worth and maintaining cycles of addiction, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and unhealthy relationships. Living with a tyrannical, punitive and harsh voice inside our heads can be debilitating – it stops us from achieving growth and living life to our full potential.


By cultivating loving kindness and self-compassion, we can begin to silence the inner critic.


by Jodie Gale


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Self-compassion Matters More Than Self-Esteem: Studio 5 Video

Self-compassion Matters More Than Self-Esteem: Studio 5 Video | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
We talk a lot about developing good self-esteem: an inner confidence rooted in how you evaluate yourself. Studio 5 Contributor Julie Hanks, LCSW, owner of Wasatch Family Therapy, says self-compassion matters more. Additional Self-Compassion Re [...]
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The Self-Compassion Project

The Self-Compassion Project | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. -Jack Kornfield.
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Develop Self-Compassion: 5 Tips to Stop Being Down on Yourself

Develop Self-Compassion: 5 Tips to Stop Being Down on Yourself | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Self-compassion is an inside job. I’ve learned that if I am gentle with myself, the world becomes a gentler place. I invite you to experience it too.

 

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack Kornfield

 

I never wanted to see a therapist. I imagined settling onto the storied couch and seeing dollar signs appear in concerned eyes as I listed the family history of mental illness, addiction, and abuse. I feared I’d be labeled before I’d ever been heard.

 

But after experiencing the emotional shock of witnessing a murder, I knew I needed a space to grieve. So I gathered all of my courage and laid myself bare to a very nice woman who had Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements on her coffee table. I trusted her.

 

Rachel Grayczyk

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Empathy Killers

Empathy Killers | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

if you look behind every strong anti-empathy feeling – fear, anger, rage, frustration, resentment, disappointment, hurt, and hostility – you’ll find beliefs. Beliefs are the activators of feelings – and they drive all of our behaviors and decision-making.

Some beliefs are empathy-killers

I talk about empathy in all the work that I do. In discussions about empathy in the workplace people often claim “my co-workers just don’t have any empathy.” These are statements of belief – not facts.  What my workplace discussions often reveal is how much people act on those beliefs without any question or attempt to substantiate their claims. Ample scientific research has shown that we’re “hard-wired” for empathy. Without it, we could not engage in successful social cooperation – essential to our survival. While some of us may have developed more or less of it as young children, the roots of empathy are present, even if dormant.

 

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The Self-Compassion Cheat Sheet

The Self-Compassion Cheat Sheet | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

One of the hurdles most of us run into when trying to become more self-compassionate is not knowing what “self-compassion” looks like.  If you’ve ever been in a situation where English isn’t the preferred language, you’ve likely experienced having trouble finding the words to ask for/express/get what you want. Without language, it’s pretty difficult to communicate. You find yourself gesturing and pointing and feeling distressed and frustrated. So, when you’re in the process of changing your relationship to yourself, you’ll likely experience similar feelings. Remember trying to learn French or Spanish or Japanese or ASL? It didn’t come naturally; it was foreign. By Megan Bruneau •

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“If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete.”

“If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete.” | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Edwin Rutsch's insight:
“If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete.”
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Self-Compassion, Part I: After Trauma

Self-Compassion, Part I: After Trauma | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
What is compassion? How can we show compassion to ourselves and others? Begin by ditching judgment and practicing acceptance.


A common but frequently unrecognized side effect of traumatic life experiences is an excessive harshness toward oneself, which often coexists with a healthy degree of care and concern for others. While this harshness toward oneself can be expressed in a multitude of ways, a commonality is the existence of different standards for yourself than the standards held of others. Be it standards regarding fairness, worth, acceptability, or love, the standards for yourself can be far more stringent, unrealistic, and possibly unattainable.


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Phrased another way,
you judge yourself with more
rigorous criteria than you use
for anyone else.
 
============== 


by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

 

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Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness

Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Do you treat yourself gently? Do you acknowledge the sources of distress in your life? Learn self-compassion and begin to heal.


This article is the third in a series that aims to look at the concept and development of self-compassion. We’ve defined compassion as a tenderhearted recognition of pain or distress, coupled with a desire to alleviate it. The first article looked at the concept of compassion as a whole while the second explored growing compassion through recognizing limits.


======================

This article will look at the first part

of our definition of compassion:

having tenderheartedness toward

your distress.

===========


 by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD


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Experimenting with Self-Compassion

Experimenting with Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
It's hard to be self-compassionate but focusing on small shifts helps. Here are some examples.


One of the hardest things about building a healthier relationship with ourselves is changing our inner dialogue. The inner critic can just be so darn loud.

For instance, when we even think about being nicer to ourselves, the nastiness starts.


Why do you think you deserve this? You still haven’t lost the weight. Who are you kidding?


Or the negative thought of all negative thoughts: Who do you think you are?


We’re convinced that we need to be mean to ourselves in order to move about our days. In order to “get results.” In order to “get healthy.” 


==========================

We’re convinced that we need to 

be mean to ourselves in order to

move about our days.

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 By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY

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7 Steps to Self-Compassion with Diabetes

7 Steps to Self-Compassion with Diabetes | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

 By  Leann Harris

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion allows us to do something truly healthy for ourselves. It’s my antidote to shame. Instead of the voices in my head belittling me and making me feel worse, I’m extending to myself the kindness and understanding I crave.


Studies have proved for years that making people feel ashamed and “wrong” in order to change behavior actually has the opposite effect. Self-compassion counteracts damaging message by giving us the space to experience less anxiety and stress, and really feel our value as a human.


So here’s what I do:

  1. When I notice my inner critic getting into action, I mindfully stop and acknowledge what is happening. “I’m beating myself up again in an effort to motivate action.” This first step of noticing is crucial and can be learned....
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self-compassion | Sacred Circle

self-compassion | Sacred Circle | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

“Healing the self means committing ourselves
to a wholehearted willingness to be what
and how we are–
beings frail and fragile,
strong and passionate,
neurotic and balanced,
diseased and whole,

...


by Lisa  

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Empathic design: Research strategies

Empathic design: Research strategies | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

This paper explores the role of empathy within new product development from the perspective of human-centred design. The authors have developed a range of empathic design tools and strategies that help to identify authentic human needs.

For products and services to be effective, they need to satisfy both functional and emotional needs of individuals. In addition, the individual user needs to feel that the product and/or service has been designed ‘just for them’, otherwise they may misuse, underuse or abandon the product/service. This becomes critical with a product such as a Zimmer frame (walker), when it fails to resonate with the patient due to any stigma the patient may perceive, and thus remains unused.

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Self-Compassion: How To Stop Being So Damn Hard On Yourself

Self-Compassion: How To Stop Being So Damn Hard On Yourself | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

You are your own worst critic. Self-compassion is the act of extending kind thoughts towards yourself. Learn how to live with more self-compassion today.

1. Start With The Basics

It’s very difficult to extend any compassion towards yourself if you aren’t letting yourself meet your most basic needs.

Get full nights of rest, eat clean and nutritious food, and get some form of exercise at least two or three times per week.

Living a sedentary lifestyle, with little rest, and a sugary, white flour based diet is the fastest way to burn out on a cellular level. Just because you have opposable thumbs and the ability to think rationally doesn’t mean that you aren’t an animal that has certain needs to maintain a baseline level of health.


Jordan

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David Hain's curator insight, February 5, 2:09 AM

Visualising a positive future starts with valuing what you have to offer.

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The Power of Self-Compassion

The Power of Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

When I attended the Emerging Women Live event in October I found so much inspiration. One of the brightest lights was Kristin Neff, Ph.D., the author of Self-Compassion (William Morrow). Kristin lectures worldwide and is featured in the bestselling book and award-winning documentary The Horse Boy, which chronicles her family’s horseback trek through Mongolia to find healing for her autistic son. Following is a wonderful article Kristin wrote for Psychology Today, reprinted here with her permission. - See more at:

 

by Rose Caiola Musacchia 

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Emily Budman's curator insight, February 25, 1:42 PM

Do schools breed self-compassion or do they create a competitive environment in which students are trying to be better then their peers?

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Self-Compassion and Happiness

Self-Compassion and Happiness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Many people who extend caring, kindness and compassion toward others, often have difficulty extending compassion to themselves.  Sound familiar?  The good news is we can learn to be kinder to ourselves.  It is possible to help train our brain to respond to our difficulties or suffering so we feel happier rather than more miserable. Health psychologist, Kelly McGonigal, spoke about the brain studies showing the importance of self-compassion and how it helps us succeed at our goals and increase our happiness at the Stanford Happiness Conference. Different regions of the brain are activated by the type of response we have toward our daily challenges. 

 

If we take a self-critical or harsh approach when something bad happens, saying, ‘it’s all my fault” or “what’s wrong with me” and “I should have been better,” the reactive mode of our brain is triggered.  This mode is one of defense, threat and self-judgement.  If we take a self-nurturing approach when we suffer a rejection, saying, “I can see how disappointed you feel “or “I know the hard work and preparation I did,” the responsive mode of the brain lights up.  This mode is one of acceptance and encouragement.

 

by Darla

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Developing self-compassion | Cultivating Leadership

Developing self-compassion | Cultivating Leadership | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Perhaps the reason I’m focusing on self-compassion today is as an act of forgiveness for the failure to write blogs these last months. I have been busy with clients, with my family, and with my drive to finish our new book (which we did this week!) and I have had no energy for anything else.  And yet even though I’ve ignored the “post a blog” item in my to-do list for months, it took my breath away to see how long it had been since I have actually written one. I felt the wave of self-recrimination building. Which might partially explain my interest in singing the self-compassion song here.

 

by Jennifer Garvey Berge

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Four Easy Self-Compassion Techniques to Try Today

Four Easy Self-Compassion Techniques to Try Today | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Self-compassion practices aren't hard; you just have to remember to do them. That's why I love these self-compassion techniques. They're quick and easy, and they make a difference in my day.


1. One technique I use daily is a gentle touch on my skin (maybe touch my forearm with my other hand) while I say something reassuring to myself. The touch actually releases oxytocin and sets off a calming response in the body. I discretely do this at work when I’m stressed (at home I may give myself a big hug!)


by Barbara Markway, Ph.D.

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Self Compassion | Franciscan Spiritual Center

Self Compassion | Franciscan Spiritual Center | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Brene Brown also introduced me to Dr. Kristin Neff (www.self-compassion.com) whose book Self Compassion:  Stop Beaing
 Yourself Up and Leave Insecurities behind is also research based but written with many stories to show in a concrete fashion how brutally we treat ourselves.  It is a book that reminds us that the Golden Rule goes in two directions — we can’t love others unless we love ourselves.  If you’re a perfectionist and not very tolerant of your own humanity this book will open your eyes and se you free.  Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves to be compassionate to ourselves.

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Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

Center for Mindful Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Welcome to the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion!

The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion provides information about Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), an 8-week program designed to cultivate self-compassion skills for daily life. Founded in 2012 by Kristin Neff, PhDand Christopher K. Germer, PhD, the center is a place where people can access self-compassion resources, discover MSC programs in their area, and explore MSC teacher training.

 
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