Empathic Family & Parenting
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Empathic Family & Parenting
News from around the word about Empathic Relationships, Family Life and Parenting
Curated by Edwin Rutsch
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Empathy Movement Magazine: Empathic Family & Parenting

Empathy Movement Magazine:  Empathic Family & Parenting | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

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These one-to-one empathy sessions support; well-being, healing, practicing to be a better listener and supporting you in creating empathic environments in your relationships, family, school, work, communities and beyond.


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How Do Children Learn Empathy?

How Do Children Learn Empathy? | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy, the ability to understand others and feel compassion for them, is arguably the most defining human quality – setting us apart from smart machines and even other animals. Without it, we couldn’t function in social areas such as the schools, court rooms and office workplaces that are the cornerstones of our society.

But babies and toddlers are generally poor at showing sensitivity to other people’s feelings. So how do they develop this crucial skill – do they learn it gradually or is it just an innate ability that kicks in at a certain age?

Empathy involves being sensitive to the emotions of others, understanding those emotions and responding in an appropriate way. Studies on how empathy develops need to look at how children understand and respond to emotions rather than their ability to recognise them. This is because children who have difficulties with empathy generally have little or no difficulty in identifying emotional reactions in others, but rather in understanding the purpose or cause of it.
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– Embracing empathy

– Embracing empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy is the cornerstone of any relationship for a very simple reason: most people, like myself, crave understanding and affirmation from other people. Without empathy, it is harder to understand or affirm those around you.

Empathy not only connects us to other people, but it connects us to ourselves. We can learn a lot about our own emotions by learning and being conscious of the emotions of others. When we lack empathy for other people, we also lack empathy for ourselves.

I’m going to start implementing my resolution with the best tool I have: the communication and the language I choose to use.
In today’s culture, I see a lot of language surrounding self-care. I also see a lot of languages promoting what I view as a lack of empathy for others. I constantly see posts which
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Peaceful Parents set limits--with empathy.

Peaceful Parents set limits--with empathy. | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Let's say you tell your child that it's time for bed, and she ignores you or says NO! What are your choices?

Threaten or punish her. You have to keep escalating, it ruins everyone's evening, and it erodes your relationship with your child.

Let her do whatever she wants. You're compromising on what's good for your child and the rest of the family. Until you explode, eventually....Not exactly responsible or peaceful parenting!

Set a limit -- with empathy. Say "You really don't want to stop playing....I hear you. It's hard to stop. I bet when you grow up, you'll play all night, every night, won't you?  AND right now, it's time to get ready for bed....Do you want to fly your plane to the bathroom, or climb on my back and I'll gallop you there?"
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How To Teach Kids Empathy and Toughness at the Same Time

How To Teach Kids Empathy and Toughness at the Same Time | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Raising empathetic kids is actually pretty easy, but it requires being thoughtful about others, modeling important behaviors, and being patient with your kid.

 

Empathy is an important trait for parents to nurture in their kids. Empathetic children, kids who naturally have the ability to understand and even share in the feelings of others, tend to build healthy relationships throughout all stages of life. Fortunately, this trait arrives early and naturally.

 

Recent research done by Alison Gopnik, a renowned child psychiatrist, shows that empathy can even be observed in babies, who pat other babies when they cry. Still, parents can’t just let well enough alone. They need to encourage their children to think about the feelings of others while also considering their own needs and desires. 

 

Why Empathy Matters
Empathy is key to understanding the world. It helps us connect with others and build relationships with everyone and everything.

 

 

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How To Teach Kids Empathy and Toughness at the Same Time

How To Teach Kids Empathy and Toughness at the Same Time | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Raising empathetic kids is actually pretty easy, but it requires being thoughtful about others, modeling important behaviors, and being patient with your kid.

 

Empathy is an important trait for parents to nurture in their kids. Empathetic children, kids who naturally have the ability to understand and even share in the feelings of others, tend to build healthy relationships throughout all stages of life. Fortunately, this trait arrives early and naturally.

 

Recent research done by Alison Gopnik, a renowned child psychiatrist, shows that empathy can even be observed in babies, who pat other babies when they cry. Still, parents can’t just let well enough alone. They need to encourage their children to think about the feelings of others while also considering their own needs and desires. 

 

Why Empathy Matters
Empathy is key to understanding the world. It helps us connect with others and build relationships with everyone and everything.

 

 

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Sesame Street's Elmo Teaches Kids Empathy 

Sesame Street's Elmo Teaches Kids Empathy  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
"Sesame Street has always had kind of a mission of diversity and inclusion," executive producer Ben Lehmann told TV Guide this spring. "Fostering empathy in young viewers, that's kind of the heart and soul of Sesame Street. ...

 

The whole idea of the show, is that, if we can give kids these skills - whether they be around letters and numbers, which is our original mission, but also around empathy and giving preschoolers these skills around getting along with others, taking turns, learning when it's not your turn to speak but it's someone else's turn to speak, then we feel like we're helping to create the next generation of empathetic adults."

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What to Say to Empathize Better With Your Child

What to Say to Empathize Better With Your Child | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Expressing Empathy Through Reflection
Reflection is a way of expressing empathy that involves describing the feelings you see. It’s like holding up a mirror to your child to acknowledge,

 

“What you’re feeling matters. I’m paying attention. I’m interested, and I care.” Here are some phrases you may want to try.

  • 1) The gentle inquiry. 
     “You seem [sad, grumpy, worried…]. What’s going on?
  • 2) The label and acknowledge.
  • 3) The cautious guess.
  • 4) The exclamation.
  • 5) The general paraphrase.
  • 6) The implied ideal.

 

Eileen Kennedy-Moore,  

 

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UCLA’s Breakthrough Strategy for Veteran Wellness

UCLA’s Breakthrough Strategy for Veteran Wellness | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

The center’s core programming focuses on relationship skills, emotional regulation, parenting, and more. Kids and caregivers receive special attention through both group workshops and individually tailored services. Being located on a VA campus gives the program access to additional resources: A mindfulness center that features yoga and meditation, for example, and family-oriented activities like cooking classes in the VA kitchen downstairs.

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You, Me and Empathy —

You, Me and Empathy — | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
One of the most important social skills a child can learn is empathy. Being able to understand how another person is feeling and recognizing their needs helps people to connect to one another across race, culture and the diversity that is ever-present and so important to our world.

 

Throughout the story, Quinn takes the reader on a journey of learning through the example of others, teaching children about empathy, feelings, kindness, compassion, tolerance, respect and recognizing bullying behaviours.

"Our world is so special, we all need to care
about one another and the earth we share.
People together from far and wide,
we're all on this planet, we're on the same side."

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3 strategies to promote empathy in children 

3 strategies to promote empathy in children  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Parents, teachers and caregivers often ask how they can encourage young children to be more empathic. Here are some tips:

1. Model how to value feelings
First, whenever possible, show warmth and empathy towards children.

Children are watching others to learn appropriate ways of behaving and interacting, and are known to be influenced by the behaviours they see around them. You can be a good role model by acknowledging and valuing others’ feelings, and showing understanding and sympathy when someone is sad, upset, distressed, frustrated or in need of help....

2. Connect feelings, thoughts and behaviours...

3. Build a ‘climate’ of empathy...

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How Empathy Makes You Better in Bed

How Empathy Makes You Better in Bed | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

“Generally, men are socialized to develop their survival skills while women are socialized to develop their empathy skills,” explains Sally Cozens, a psychotherapist and social worker.

 

“Men are taught to ‘step up,’ ‘assert yourself,’ or ‘don’t let yourself be pushed around. This may be good advice in establishing a position in a group of men, but it is contrary to creating trust and intimacy in romantic relationships.”
...
And where there’s emotional intimacy, there’s empathy. And the ability to feel empathetic toward the people we love the most creates a positive feedback loop, making our partners feel loved and respected, and giving us the ability to explore each other’s desires in a trusting way. “Being emotionally aware of and affirming about what women have to say is one of the

 

 

By Kat Armstrong

February 8, 2018

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(Teaching Empathy) Teaching Empathy is an Important Part of Raising Good Kids

(Teaching Empathy) Teaching Empathy is an Important Part of Raising Good Kids | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

But how do we translate this so it’s easy for kids to understand and model? Especially younger children, who lack the cognitive skills to really understand the concept of empathy? There are definitely some age-appropriate things we, as parents, can do.

 

Help your kids label their feelings.

Kids have the same emotions as we do, and often on a much grander scale. Kids can run the gamut of emotions in a five-minute span. And they often can’t full express the “feeling” they’re feeling. So help them by giving those feelings a name. Sadness, fear, excitement, loneliness – when your kids are experiencing an emotion, try to help them label it, and figure out why they’re feeling the way they are.


Encourage your kids to talk about their feelings! 

As adults, we do this on a fairly regular basis (at least, we should). And I know firsthand that when a kid loses their mind and goes into a fit of rage or anger or despair, your first instinct is to get through the storm and forget it after it’s over. ...

 

 Honestly, teach good old fashioned politeness...

They’re never too young for charity...

 

Teaching empathy isn’t something you’ll be able to do in a day, or a weekend, or even a month. It’s about helping your child to understand their feelings, helping them development a connection to the world around them, and just teaching them (everyday!) to be kind, caring little humans.

Jayme Kennedy

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Empathy Circles as Imaginal Cells for a Regenerative and Co-creative Future

Empathy Circles as Imaginal Cells for a Regenerative and Co-creative Future | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

"In the last few years, I’ve been exploring the use of Empathy Circles with some of my organizational clients, with facilitator learning groups, and in communication workshops. I’ve been finding that it is a great introduction and warm-up for Dynamic Facilitation, one of my core practices, as it offers everyone in the room the opportunity to engage in offering listening reflections to one another.

At the same time, I’m totally excited to see that Edwin Rutsch, the creator of Empathy Circles, has been bringing his work into the arena healing political divides. My experience is that this simple-yet-powerful form is actually quite revolutionary, in the best sense of the word, and so I want to delve a bit into what I see as the underlying dynamics. But first, a brief description, followed by a distinction and clarification…"

by Rosa Zubizarreta
March 9, 2019 

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How to Avoid Escalation of Couple Conflicts

How to Avoid Escalation of Couple Conflicts | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

 In general, this rise in emotional intensity occurs more quickly during couples’ disagreements than it does in other relationship disagreements, such as with co-workers. Once escalation occurs, it is often an uphill struggle for at least one of the partners to regain emotional self-control.

 

It is clearly to the advantage of both individuals to avoid the escalation, or to de-escalate as soon as possible when it does occur.  In my clinical work with couples, I guide them in practicing two critical skill sets for resolving conflicts:

 

  • 1. preventing the escalation of emotions through the use of empathic responses, and
  • 2. De-escalating as soon as possible through the use of self-calming skills. The importance of empathic responses was also described by Dr. Leon Seltzer
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How to Avoid Escalation of Couple Conflicts

How to Avoid Escalation of Couple Conflicts | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

 In general, this rise in emotional intensity occurs more quickly during couples’ disagreements than it does in other relationship disagreements, such as with co-workers. Once escalation occurs, it is often an uphill struggle for at least one of the partners to regain emotional self-control.

 

It is clearly to the advantage of both individuals to avoid the escalation, or to de-escalate as soon as possible when it does occur.  In my clinical work with couples, I guide them in practicing two critical skill sets for resolving conflicts:

 

  • 1. preventing the escalation of emotions through the use of empathic responses, and
  • 2. De-escalating as soon as possible through the use of self-calming skills. The importance of empathic responses was also described by Dr. Leon Seltzer
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Building an Effective and Healing Therapeutic Relationship with Clients

Building an Effective and Healing Therapeutic Relationship with Clients | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Different Intents in Different Forms of Empathic Responses

Empathic understanding responses are simple responses that convey simple understanding, acceptance, and concern about what the client has said. This is a supportive response that implicitly asks the client to share more of her experience and to explore and reflect on her perceptions and bodily sensations.

 

Empathic affirmations are responses intended to validate the client's perspective. 

 

Empathic evocations are responses that are used to bring clients' experiences and emotions alive in the session. 

 

Empathic exploration responses focus on exploration and have a probing, tentative quality to examine the hidden depths of clients' experiences

 

Empathic conjecture are attempts by the therapist to articulate that which is implicit in clients' narratives, especially with respect to how clients are feeling or experiencing certain events. 

 

Empathic refocusing responses, while staying within clients' frames of reference, reveal an alternative perspective. 

 

Empathic doubling responses are attempts to voice clients' thoughts and feelings as they focus on and try to articulate the impact of events.

 

 

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How to Close the Empathy Gap | For Parents | US News

How to Close the Empathy Gap | For Parents | US News | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
WHEN I WORKED AS A school-based therapist, meeting with small groups of kids –often girls – was a regular occurrence. The great benefit of having therapists on campus was that kids didn’t have to sit with uncomfortable emotions throughout the day. They could, and did, seek help when needed.

On one particular day, three middle school girls collapsed on my couch and began to vent their frustrations about a peer. The peer in question had a tendency to both seek attention from the group at all times and interrupt frequently should the attention of the group shift away from her. They were tired of it, and they wanted me to help them figure out a way to talk to their peer about these issues without her “falling apar
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How To Teach Your Kids Empathy, According To A Neuroscientist

How To Teach Your Kids Empathy, According To A Neuroscientist | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
The skills of empathy, creativity, and self-control are interconnected. Each skill bleeds over into the other skills, so building ability in one area will translate to greater ability in the other two.

 

We can use things we're already doing as parents in a different way to foster not only empathy but also the related skills of creativity and self-control. The most important thing you can do to grow compassionate kids is to intentionally focus on these skills daily in tiny ways.

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Cultivating Empathy in Children - Thu, Jul 12, 2018  

Cultivating Empathy in Children - Thu, Jul 12, 2018   | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
The Lunch Project invites our Donors and Summer of Service families to learn ways to cultivate empathy in children. Dr. Bea Moise with Southeast Psychology will be leading the discussion and will include empathy-building activities for your child(ren). This event is FREE and will be held at the Morrison library in Southpark.
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How To Teach Your Kids To Care About Other People

How To Teach Your Kids To Care About Other People | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy is a skill parents can cultivate.
Caroline Bologna
 

Talk About Feelings
“The gateway to empathy is emotional literacy,” said Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and the author of numerous parenting books, including UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

A simple way to foster emotional literacy is by promoting face-to-face communication in the age of texting and smartphones. “Digital-driven kids aren’t necessarily learning emotions when they pick emojis,” Borba said. “Make it a rule in your house to always look at the color of the talker’s eyes because it will help your child tune in to the other person.” 

Another key aspect is teaching kids to identify their own emotions early on. “Use emotional language with kids. Say things like, ‘I see you’re really frustrated,’ or, ‘I see you’re really mad,’” Laura Dell, an assistant professor at the University of Cincinnati’s School of Education, told HuffPost.

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Adults play a big part in kids developing empathy early, study...

Adults play a big part in kids developing empathy early, study... | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Experts are still not agreed on when exactly kids develop the all-too-important quality of empathy, but a new study has suggested that adults have quite a large impact on children exhibiting this ability early in life.

More specifically, attentive adults engaged with kids in social situations can help youngsters demonstrate this quality earlier than the age of four, which is when previous studies say children start to show empathy. Being able to empathise, understanding others' emotions and perspective, is key for socialising.

Developmental psychologist Elia Psouni and her colleagues assessed if children showed empathy in its simplest form, by determining if the kids could comprehend that another person has a false belief about something because they lack information.

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(Empathic Relationships) How 'effective communication' can help couples stop arguing

(Empathic Relationships) How 'effective communication' can help couples stop arguing | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Effective communication, also known as non-violent communication, involves switching the focus from your partner to yourself.

 

SWITCH THE FOCUS FROM ANGER TO EMPATHY

Exhausted from all the conflict, Loteanu tried a different approach: “effective communication.” Also known as non-violent communication, she says the technique involves resolving frustrations with empathy instead of anger.

“I started to talk more about my feelings and my needs without making any judgments about him,” Loteanu says.

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You Can Thank Your Younger Sibling for Teaching You Empathy, Says Science

You Can Thank Your Younger Sibling for Teaching You Empathy, Says Science | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
A Canadian study found that younger siblings caused increased levels of empathy in older siblings. Take that, sibling rivalry!

 

But, a recent study published in Child Development has revealed a slight, but notable increase in empathy for kids who have a younger sibling. So, maybe despite all the sibling fighting and rivalry, younger siblings might be good for our kids after all.

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'Give Comfort and Empathy to Any Child Who Is Frightened'

'Give Comfort and Empathy to Any Child Who Is Frightened' | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
In the aftermath of this week's school shooting, here is straight talk for parents about helping their kids through this trauma

 

First, give comfort and empathy to any child who is frightened. What makes kids of all ages feel more fearful is not having their feelings acknowledged or validated. If your daughter reacts to the news of the school shooting with fear, tell her you understand her fear. Don’t dismiss it and tell her that she has nothing to worry about because her school is safe. Let her know that you fully understand her feelings.

 

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The role of empathy, desire and consent in sex  

The role of empathy, desire and consent in sex   | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
As valuable as it is to talk about the joys of romance, dating and sex, the responsibilities that come with these pleasures can’t be overlooked. Empathy, awareness and a genuine respect for the desires of one’s partner are foundational to consensual intimacy and healthy relationships.
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