Empathic Family & Parenting
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Empathic Family & Parenting
News from around the word about Empathic Parenting and Familly Life
Curated by Edwin Rutsch
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Empathy Movement Magazine: Empathic Family & Parenting

Empathy Movement Magazine:  Empathic Family & Parenting | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

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(Empathic Parenting) This is the most important lesson you can teach your kid

(Empathic Parenting) This is the most important lesson you can teach your kid | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

A new book called “UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed In Our All-About-Me World” by Michele Borba makes a strong case for empathy as a tool that can be taught to kids, positioning them for success.

“[Empathy], the trait that allows us to feel with others, has the reputation of being ‘touchy-feely,’ but new research reveals that empathy is far from ‘soft,’ and it plays a surprising role in predicting kids’ happiness and success,” writes Borba. “The problem is that empathy is widely underestimated by moms and dads, as well as the general public, so it’s low on most child-rearing agendas.”

 

 

 

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(Empathic Parenting) How to Teach Kids Empathy Through Books

(Empathic Parenting) How to Teach Kids Empathy Through Books | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
There are dozens of ways to use literature and movies to cultivate children’s empathy, open their hearts to care about others, as well as to expand their cognitive development and enhance academic achievement.

 

A big secret to cultivating this habit is to make the activity fun as well as meaningful to children while matching material to their abilities and interests.

 

Do ask your child every once in a while: “When’s the last time you read a great book?” If your son or daughter has a blank look, then you know you need to work harder to make reading pleasurable. From my book UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World, here are a few ways to instill a love of reading in our kids.

 

by MICHELE BORBA 

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(Empathic Parenting) Low testosterone may make you a better father:  more empathic and less aggressive 

(Empathic Parenting) Low testosterone may make you a better father:  more empathic and less aggressive  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Less testosterone may make them more empathic and less aggressive, which may make them better fathers.

This new information on hormonal changes in men comes from a study I conducted with graduate student Patty Kuo at the University of Michigan. It provides a window into men’s parenting, and it may help them become more nurturing fathers.

In both mothers and fathers, the sound of a crying baby can trigger a series of emotional responses, from empathy, to annoyance, to aggravation. The best response is empathy, as aggravation can lead to aggressive behaviors that put the child at risk.

We found that when the men saw their infants in distress and their testosterone declined, they were more nurturing and sensitive fathers when they had to interact with their infants.

We also found that when fathers described themselves as empathetic and when they reported having a loving relationship with the infant’s mother, they were more sensitive fathers.

 

Brenda Volling

Professor of Psychology, University of Michigan

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(Empathic Parenting)  (Teaching Empathy) (Michele Borba)  A call for teaching kids empathy, made more urgent by Orlando violence

(Empathic Parenting)  (Teaching Empathy) (Michele Borba)  A call for teaching kids empathy, made more urgent by Orlando violence | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
"Empathy is not an inborn trait," Borba writes. "Empathy is a quality that can be taught — in fact, it's a quality that must be taught, by parents, by educators and by those in a child's community. And what's more, it's a talent that kids can cultivate and improve, like riding a bike or learning a foreign language."

Borba is speaking Wednesday at Glenbard South High School, and I spoke with her in advance of her appearance. The following is an edited transcript.

 

Q: What role does empathy, or a lack of empathy, play in the Orlando tragedy and our reactions to it?

A: It plays a huge role. What is my biggest concern when I start to see empathy wane? It's Orlando. It's Stanford. It's any number of scathing examples of what happens when we attach otherness to another human being and completely dehumanize them.

 

Q: So a person without empathy has no concern for how he or she is treating the people they've dehumanized?..

 

Heidi Stevens interviews Michele Borba

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(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba) One Surefire Way to Reduce Bullying

(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba) One Surefire Way to Reduce Bullying | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

As much as we would like to think otherwise, we live in a self-absorbed world. And shockingly children, perhaps because of prevailing “all-about-me” attitudes, are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago. 

“Selfies” dominate our culture, and the stress caused by the drive to succeed undermines the development of empathy—the habit that actually gives children an edge or what Michele Borba, Ed. D. calls the “Empathy Advantage.”

In her new book, UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World, she explains that empathy is the key to children’s happiness, well-being and success—right now and later as grownups. Empathy can be learned and Dr. Borba explains exactly how parents—and educators—can and should be the teachers. 

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(Empathic Parenting)  (Michele Borba) Why Are Kids Bystanders Rather Than Upstanders (Offline and Online)? Empathy!

(Empathic Parenting)  (Michele Borba) Why Are Kids Bystanders Rather Than Upstanders (Offline and Online)? Empathy! | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

by Sue Scheff

 

Did you know that when a bystander decides to step in on behalf of a peer that is being harassed, 57 percent of the time the bullying is stopped within 10 seconds? Yet in most cases only 19 percent of bystanders will get involved in helping a friend or peer.

Why? Educational psychologist and renown parenting and bullying prevention expert, Dr. Michele Borba, reveals in her twenty-fourth book, UnSelfie, Why Empathic Kids Succeed In Our All-About-Me World that teens today are 40 percent less empathic than those of thirty years ago and narcissism are increased by 58 percent. She points out that as “empathy wanes, bullying can rise, and tormentors begin to see victims as “objects,” not human beings.”

The good news is, as Dr. Borba shares, “Empathy is a trait that can be taught and nurtured. And so can moral courage. Empathy and courage are a powerful combo to solve the bullying crisis.”

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(Empathic Parenting) How to Keep Kids' Empathy Open in A Digital World

(Empathic Parenting) How to Keep Kids' Empathy Open in A Digital World | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

But something more is at stake: our children’s empathy and emotional intelligence. As I researched and wrote, UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World I was struck staggering statistics that show a forty percent drop in our children’s empathy levels within the last thirty years. And interestedly is that the biggest dip happened around the year 2000-about the same time computers, Tablets, Smartphones, and all the rest became central in our children’s lives.

 

Yes, technology is taking giant leaps forward in so many ways as a society, but let’s remember that the cornerstone of humanity is empathy. Empathy is the seeds of compassion, courage, collaboration and all those traits that help our children grow to be good people.

 

And most effective way for our children to learn empathy is always face to face. You don’t learn empathy facing screens.

 

Dr Michele Borba

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(Empathic Parenting) How to Use Empathy to Avoid Meltdowns in 6 Easy Steps 

(Empathic Parenting) How to Use Empathy to Avoid Meltdowns in 6 Easy Steps  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

 Learn these simple steps and more in my book UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

Model calmness. Your child’s best template for learning self-regulation is you. So how do you act in front of your kids after a hard day? When you’re driving with your children and another car cuts in front of you? When the bank says you’re overdrawn? Your kids are watching, so make sure your behavior is what you want them to copy...

Tune in to your child. How does your child handle stress? If he has a stressful experience or sees another in distress does he:...

 

Identify body alarms...

 

Create a quiet space...Find a place to help your family decompress...

 

Make a Stress Box. My friends at the Thompson Child and Family Focus developed a Stress Box to teach students self-regulation....

 

Teach a self-regulation strategy. Each child needs a calming strategy that works for him....

 

by MICHELE BORBA 

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Join the Empathy Trainers Association - Now Forming

Join the Empathy Trainers Association - Now Forming | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

The Association For

  1. Empathy Trainers who have similar and common interests, activities and concerns about teaching empathy.
  2. Mutual promotion of the welfare of all it’s members.
  3. Protect and advance mutual interests.
  4. Set and maintain standards.
  5. Promote social, advertising and political action to get communities, organizations, businesses and government to support empathy training programs.
  6. etc


Benefits for Members

  • Access to training curriculum from other members.
  • Share training materials and resources.
  • A directory of empathy trainers that prospective clients can access. For Clients - If you're looking for a trainer you have a place to go 
  • Offer business support and leads to members. 
  • Discussion forums listservs.
  • etc

 

Links
Join us in forming the Empathy Trainers Association.
 

Google Group for Email Discussions 
An ongoing discussion list. 

Facebook Event
Sign up and invite friends. 

Facebook Group 
Group to for  discussions on Facebook

Shared Google Doc
For shared working space.

 

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(Empathic Parenting) 10 Thoughtful Ways Parents Can Choose Empathy over Explosion 

(Empathic Parenting) 10 Thoughtful Ways Parents Can Choose Empathy over Explosion  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy is the single most important trait for kids to develop. It’s the trait that will enable them to be kind teens and adults, the thing that can potentially change our world from the unjust and violent one we have to a fair and peaceful one.

When we can dig deep and treat our children with empathy it directly grows their empathy cells. (It sounds a bit like science fiction, but it is Actual Science!) There is only one thing that creates mean kids and adults and that is treating them unkindly – the empathy center in their brain literally, physically, fails to grow.
Lucy Aitkenread 
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(Empathic Parenting) 4 Ways to Raise Empathetic Kids: Make empathy an important lesson in your child's life.

(Empathic Parenting) 4 Ways to Raise Empathetic Kids: Make empathy an important lesson in your child's life. | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

When a child does something like ask if a person is feeling sick, or if they can help with a task that helps another, give them positive reinforcement. Praise them if they do an unselfish kind act, or they show signs of remorse.

 

Practice giving compliments to others and validate when they receive a kind word to teach how good it feels to be good to another...

  • Practicing...
  • Give Perspective...
  • Ethics...
  • Family Time...
  • Make a Difference..

 

 

 

By Corine Gatti

 

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Jim Manske's curator insight, June 9, 4:19 PM
I appreciate the intention to raise empathic kids by making empathy an important lesson for kids.  However, I feel deeply concerned for the well-being of the next generation by applying a domination paradigm reinforced by an outdated and anti-empathic Skinnerian psychology of punishment and reward (praise).  We can transcend punishment and reward by focusing on needs and authentically express how children's behaviors that contribute to empathy affect us.  What do you think?
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(Empathic Parenting) Setting boundaries with toddlers using empathy and positive guidance

(Empathic Parenting) Setting boundaries with toddlers using empathy and positive guidance | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Toddlers need loving guidance and they also need empathy and forgiveness.

Children have a basic need to feel loved and accepted by their parents. As they learn how to balance curiosity, impulses and our expectations, toddlers will make mistakes and get into mischief. Sometimes they will offer a tall tale to safeguard that need to be loved and accepted, i.e. Your hair fell off mama. I caught it for you....

A very valuable tool in helping toddlers learn personal boundaries and the value of honesty is Time In. (Also sometimes referred to as meeting on the couch, reflection time, time out together, talking it out.) This tool is about intentionally setting aside time to allow for children to flex their empathy skills and reflect on their choices.

By Ariadne Brill

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(Empathc Parenting) (Michele Borba) Empathy is a Verb | - TEDxTraverseCity

Educational psychologist and author, Michele Borba, shares her decade-long journey to discover how to optimize human potential. Surprisingly, it was children from Canada to Rwanda who offered the three best ideas to cultivate empathy. The best news: if applying those simple strategies together we can revolutionize society and build the best investment for our future: human capital.

Michele Borba, Ed.D. is an internationally renowned educator, award-winning author, and parenting, child and bullying expert recognized for her solution-based strategies to strengthen children’s empathy and social-emotional intelligence and character, and reduce peer cruelty.
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(Empathic Parenting) Low testosterone may make you a better father

(Empathic Parenting) Low testosterone may make you a better father | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Based on our study, we believe the fathers’ empathy and declining testosterone level shaped how they responded.

For example, if fathers interpret infant crying as a means of communicating distress and empathize with the infant, they will experience a decline in testosterone. This, in turn, facilitates a nurturing response.

Alternatively, when fathers interpret their infant’s crying as aggravating and feel they are unable to comfort the infant, they may experience increases in testosterone, which facilitates an intrusive or negative response. Intervention efforts can be directed at helping fathers comfort their crying infants in a calming manner.

When fathers soothe, they feel better, too

 

By Brenda Volling,
Professor of Psychology,
University of Michigan

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(Empathic Parenting) Dancing may help kids develop socio-emotional skills like empathy - Active For Life

(Empathic Parenting) Dancing may help kids develop socio-emotional skills like empathy - Active For Life | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
According to an article in The Atlantic, some schools are using dance as a vehicle for teaching students social-emotional skills such as empathy.

In the article written by Audrey Cleo Yap, “studies have shown the cognitive benefits students experience through being exposed to dance and other art forms,” however complex human qualities, like empathy, are hard to quantify. Anecdotal evidence from teachers and principals suggest that dance improves acceptance, cooperation, and collaboration among students, but more research is needed to understand the correlation between dance and emotional intelligence.

 

Jaime Neefs

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(Teaching Empathy) Why teaching kids empathy is so important, and the book that shows you how

(Teaching Empathy) Why teaching kids empathy is so important, and the book that shows you how | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Our kids, however, may be missing out on those powerful moments because there is an empathy crisis among today's youth, as Borba explains in her new book UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. She cites a study from the University of Michigan finding that empathy has decreased by 40% and narcissism has increased by 58% in incoming college freshmen over the past three decades.

 

Why is teaching kids empathy so important? 

 

Empathy boosts resilience. It is the key to forming the healthy relationships that impact our kids' mental health. And empathy is and will be a key skill in the job market. Employers are looking for people who can connect with their clients, really understand the needs of consumers, and relate well to coworkers, bosses, and others in the workplace.

 

By Shannan Younger


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(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba) Six Ways to Nurture Kids’ Sensitivity and Boost Emotional IQ

(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba) Six Ways to Nurture Kids’ Sensitivity and Boost Emotional IQ | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Of course we want our kids to be compassionate and sensitive to other people’s feelings. The problem is that many kids’ “empathy potential” is greatly handicapped because they don’t have the ability to identify and express emotions.

 

They have tremendous difficulty feeling for the other person simply because they may not recognize the other person’s hurt, elation, discomfort, anxiety, pride, happiness, or anger.

What these kids need is an education that provides stronger emotional intelligence: an adequate vocabulary of feelings and then the encouragement to use it. Once kids are more emotionally literate and can understand their own feelings their empathy will grow, because they will be far more capable of understanding and feeling other people’s concerns and needs. 

 

Dr Michele Borba

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(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba) The recipe for happy, successful kids? Here's 6 ways to teach empathy

(Empathic Parenting)  (Michele Borba) The recipe for happy, successful kids? Here's 6 ways to teach empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
New research reveals that empathy is far from "soft," and it plays a surprising role in predicting kids' happiness and success.

 

"What do kids really need to be happy and successful?"

Hundreds of parents have asked me the question, and my response surprises most. "Empathy" is my answer. The trait that allows us to feel with others has the reputation of being "touchy-feely," but new research reveals that empathy is far from "soft," and it plays a surprising role in predicting kids' happiness and success.

 

The problem is that empathy is widely underestimated by moms and dads, as well as the general public, so it's low on most child-rearing agendas.

 

  • 1. Be an emotion coach....
  • 2. Use the 'Two Kind Rule.'...
  • 3. Talk feelings....
  • 4. Capture caring moments...
  • 5. Teach: 'Always look at the color of the talker's eyes.'...
  • 6. Read books....

 

 

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(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba)  Unselfie, the horrific results of a lack of empathy

(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba)  Unselfie, the horrific results of a lack of empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Why? Why was Michele so quick to help? Quite simply, it is because Michele is one of the most empathetic people I have ever met.  She is focused not on herself but on how she can help others.

 

So, it came as no surprise that Michele has synthesized her life’s work in a masterful new book called Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed In Our All-About-Me World.

Michele has traveled far and wide to study practices of empathy and the horrific results of a lack of empathy. Among other places, she visited an amazing camp that brings together young Palestinians and young Israelis, with the goal of teaching them to see each other as human beings instead of as stereotypes. In Unselfie, she shared the following conversation from her visit to this camp:

 

By Carrie Goldman

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(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba) Seven Ways to Foster Empathy in Kids

(Empathic Parenting) (Michele Borba) Seven Ways to Foster Empathy in Kids | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
In our age of narcissism, a new book offers research-based tips for encouraging children to be empathic.

 

We live in the age of the selfie—the ubiquitous symbol of narcissism.

 

But this focus on the self to the exclusion of others is harmful to our children, according to Michele Borba, author of the new book UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. More than the photos themselves, the idea behind them—that we are the center of our world—is the problem, reflecting a decreased focus on others and a lack of empathy.

 

According to Borba, low levels of empathy are rampant in our culture, and in kids that’s associated with bullying, cheating, weak moral reasoning, and mental health issues, like anxiety and depression. Her book is a call to parents, teachers, and other caring adults to help encourage children to develop empathy and generosity toward others, and it’s full of research-based tips on how to do so....

  • 1. Help kids develop a moral identity...
  • 2. Give kids “do-overs”...
  • 3. Encourage empathy through stories...
  • 4. Support empathy education in school...
  • 5. Examine your values...
  • 6. Be mindful of social media use...
  • 7. Help kids find their inner hero....

 

By Jill Suttie

 

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(Empathic Parenting)(Teaching Empathy) The Secrets to Raising a Compassionate Child: Fortunately, empathy can be taught and cultivated

(Empathic Parenting)(Teaching Empathy) The Secrets to Raising a Compassionate Child: Fortunately, empathy can be taught and cultivated | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy is the ability to feel with another human being. And we're getting worse at it. Parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba, Ed.D., explains how you can help your child learn to be more empathetic.

 

Fortunately, empathy can be taught and cultivated. But we have to put our phones down to do it. "Empathy starts with face-to-face interaction," Dr. Borba said. Here, her top tips for helping your kid care more: 

 

  • Read (and talk) more...
  • Teach kindness...
  • Emphasize eye contact....
  • Share good news. ...
  • Establish your family values....
  • Do as you say....

 

By Liz Loerke

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(Empathic Parenting) 3 Ways to Encourage Empathy in Kids

(Empathic Parenting) 3 Ways to Encourage Empathy in Kids | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

It’s not just touchy-feely—kids who understand others are more likely to be happy, popular, and excel in school.  

As parents, we encourage our kids to become independent and to feel good about themselves—and yet these worthy goals have had some unintended consequences in our social-media culture, says educational psychologist Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of the of the new book Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

 

“In the past decades, our kids’ capacity to care has plummeted, while self-absorption has skyrocketed, and it puts their humanity at stake,” she writes. “Today’s culture values ‘me’ more than ‘we.’” Research suggests that giving children opportunities to be empathetic not only helps them personally, but may even be the key to reducing complex problems such as violence and racism.

 

By Diane Debrovner

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(Empathic Parenting) What makes kids mean? - We need to talk about empathy for starters.

(Empathic Parenting) What makes kids mean? - We need to talk about empathy for starters. | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
We need to talk about empathy for starters. Empathy, seeking to understand another’s feelings, putting ourselves in their shoes, is the only genuine foundation for morality. Being able to empathise is key to stopping childhood mean-ness and is the foundation for a lifetime of kindness.

The one thing that short circuits the development of a child’s empathy? The one thing that makes kids mean?

Not experiencing empathy in childhood.

Basic, huh? But there is groundbreaking work being done right now that is clearly revealing that in order to become empathetic, we have to experience empathy.

 

Lucy

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(Empathic Parenting) How Caring for Living Things Helps Kids Build Empathy

(Empathic Parenting) How Caring for Living Things Helps Kids Build Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Before leaving for preschool this morning, my four-year-old checked on her jar of ladybug larvae, watered her little flower garden and shared a bagel with her little brother.  She may not know the term, but she was practicing empathy.


Empathy is a skill – one that we can cultivate and strengthen with practice. It requires us to imagine how someone else is feeling and then respond in a caring manner. Picture book author Anna Dewdney offers this wonderful definition: “Empathy is an understanding that other people have feelings, and that those feelings count.”

When kids care for living things – from babies to animals to plants – they exercise their empathy muscles. They learn through experience that

  • 1) everything has needs;
  • 2) these needs are not always identical; and
  • 3) they can help meet those needs.


By Deborah Farmer Kris

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(Empathic Parenting) Kids May Know More About Justice Than We Do

(Empathic Parenting) Kids May Know More About Justice Than We Do | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
While we may struggle with delivering and exacting justice here in the adult world, it seems that children as young as 3 have the concept down pat. In a new study published in the journal Current Biology researchers from Germany are finding that

 

toddlers are not only surprisingly empathetic, but that concepts like restorative justice may come intuitively to them.

When examining children between the ages of three and five, researchers found their subjects focused strongly on carrying out justice and punishment for those who “deserved” it. Not only did the children prefer to give missing items back to rightful owners, but if returning the item was not an option, the participants would protect the item, and ensure another party would not take what did not belong to them.

 

Even more interesting was the fact children of this age were just as willing to respond to the needs of another individual — even if that individual was a puppet — as they were to their own. Researchers believe these findings may give us insight into the core of justice in relation to human nature.

 

Kristin Magaldi

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