Here’s a selection of 60 tiny love stories recently submitted to our sister site, Makes Me Think, that not only made us think, but warmed our hearts and made us smile too. We hope they do the same for you.
Today, my 75-year-old grandpa who has been blind from cataracts for almost 15 years said to me, “Your grandma is just the most beautiful thing, isn’t she?” I paused for a second and said, “Yes she is. I bet you miss seeing that beauty on a daily basis.” “Sweety,” my grandpa said, “I still see her beauty every day. In fact, I see it more now than I used to when we were young.” MMT http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/11/20/60-tiny-love-stories-to-make-you-smile/
Dr. Seigel explains the brain using his hands in an easy to understand language. This clip specifically explains brain function in relationship to parenting. HT @thompson3_jen
This is such a great easy model of what happens in the brain and how we can use that knowledge to help us be more regulated emotionally with our children and loved ones. VERY COOL!
Why empathy is import at home and work and how to be better at it.
Neuroscientists have recently discovered that humans are wired to experience empathy through multiple systems of mirror neurons in our brains. These mirror neurons reflect back actions that we observe in others causing us to mimic that action in our own brains. When we observe someone in pain or when we are with someone happy, we experience that to a certain extent. These mirror neurons are the primary physiological basis of empathy. They create a neural Wi-Fi that connects us to the feelings of people around us.
Many people seem to be naturally empathetic. Others are not. The good news is that research shows that empathy can be learned. There are however a few potential roadblocks to empathy that must be overcome.
Empathy is a key skill to dealing and interacting with people in a manner that produces positive outcome and builds healthy relationships. The article does a good job explaining what emphathy is, as well as giving some tips to improve in this area. It also includes facts to support the assertion that empathy matters at work, "Empathy is also important in the workplace. A study conducted by the Center for Creatively Leadership investigated 6,731 leaders from 38 countries. Their results reveal that empathy is positively related to job performance. The study concluded that managers who show more empathy toward direct reports are viewed as better performers in their job by their bosses."
A recipe for divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
For over 40 years the psychologist Professor John Gottman has been analysing relationships, both good and bad.
He's followed couples across decades in many psychological studies to see what kinds of behaviours predict whether they would stay together in the long-term or were soon destined for the divorce courts
.Amongst the factors he identified, four have stood out, time and time again. When Gottman sees a couple's communication overrun with these, the chances are they will divorce in an average of around six years from their marriage.
My work over the last 15 years has largely been devoted to exploding the damaging myths that we absorb about love, romance, and relationships from the time we're old enough to ingest information.
There is greatness and beauty in doing something inconvenient for the sake of someone you care about. All relationships require work. They don't just materialize ...
Lori Hollander LCSW-C, BCD - Three common themes can be found in extraordinary partnerships, which don't form magically but, rather, are created and nurtured.
If a woman doesn’t want to have sex with her husband but does it anyway to please him, is she codependent or compassionate? That was the subject of debate a few days ago among some friends and I. Half said she was codependent and half said compassionate.
The line between codependency and compassion can be fuzzy because the intentions of both appear the same. However, while compassion promotes effective communication and mutual respect, codependency destroys the foundation of healthy relationships.
Carl Ransom Rogers (1902 – 1987) was an influential American psychologist and among the founders of the humanistic approach (or client-centered approach) to psychology.
A couple of years ago, I had the pleasure of reviewing something like three different really bad romantic comedies for this site over the span of only a couple of months. I didn’t quite swallow my tongue, but it was a close thing.
About one them I argued that the problem with romantic comedies was that they were “pornography of the short cut.” Such movies fetishize the grand romantic moments that litter the beginnings of love, confusing those surging instants of passion for the years that endure. Such stories don’t want to linger on those little details over the years, the kindness and sweetness stockpiled day by day, they just want to jump to some non-existent end point of synthetic happiness. Read more at http://www.pajiba.com/think_pieces/it-was-never-meeting-sally-that-mattered-to-harry-what-romantic-movies-dont-get.php#JPAsMekEL7BWtdSB.99
In a very insightful review of the movie The Descendants I read that there are no contemporary models for love in the second decade of marriage. The author implied that for this we must look to 19th century Russian literature.
Therapist Daniel Hope explains the differnce between love as something that you feel and loving, something that we do. Interesting reframe on "fake it til you make it."
Helping adults thrive in relationships impacted by ADHD Dr. Edward Hallowell and Melissa Orlov blog about marriage when one or both spouses has ADHD. What is it like? What are common themes in marriages with ADHD? What strategies can be used to improve these relationships? How can struggling couples get their marriages back on track so both partners can thrive?
Married to someone with ADHD? This site is for you! Lots of great tips for coping and maintaining healthy relationships when one or both partners stuggle with ADD/ADHD symptoms. http://www.adhdmarriage.com Scooped by Amy Fuller PhD
“I love mankind - it’s people I can’t stand.” Charlie Brown, in Charles Schulz’ timeless comic strip, “Peanuts”
Charlie Brown had a point: relationships with other human beings are wonderful – in theory. In reality, they can be difficult and messy. But nothing determines our success in life as much as our ability to work with other people.
And nothing is more messy in relationships than dealing with conflict. But I believe there are both constructive and destructive ways to approach it. Here are my top ten responses:
You're hard-wired for empathy, whether you like it or not.
More than two decades ago now, scientists made a discovery that fundamentally altered our understanding of empathy. While observing monkeys, they noticed that certain brain cells activated both when a monkey performed an action and when that monkey watched another monkey perform the same action.
It’s a scenario we’ve all probably experienced before: If we’ve seen someone stub her toe, or cut her finger, or fall off a bike, and winced because we could feel the pain ourselves. That wincing – that unconscious reaction – is caused by “mirror neurons” firing in our brains. And these same neurons fire whether the action happens to us or to someone we’re watching.
More than two decades ago now, scientists made a discovery that fundamentally altered our understanding of empathy. While observing monkeys, they noticed that certain brain cells activated both when a monkey performed an action and when that monkey watched another monkey perform the same action.
“Words really flattering are not those which we propose but those which escape us unthinkably.” ~Ninon de L'Enclos
Suddenly, I realized that the people sitting around that table possessed something that I didn’t: a passion for life coupled with an arsenal of intellectual and conversational skills that had somehow escaped me during my over three decades on this earth.
As I watched the playful and at times tense (think Italians flailing their arms around in the air and the French shrugging their shoulders and rolling their eyes) exchange of ideas and opinions, I made another observation. The most captivating woman in the room was not necessarily the most beautiful one or the one carrying the Birkin (now don’t get me wrong, I love a Birkin). She was the one who knew how to use her passion paired with words to charm the audience.
My favorite parts of thiis lovely tranformational narrative:
In France, words are used as play. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. It didn’t take me long to realize that my direct American-style way of speaking was often viewed as rude (or dull) in a French conversation. The French have a way of adding humor, wit and charm to very serious topics, making it easier to digest.
Conversation is like a dance. Sometimes, you must let others take the lead but always keep up, unless of course, you don’t like the dance.
So, here’s my challenge for you. Begin to weed out all those things you’ve been taught you should know and begin to indulge yourself in what truly inspires you.
First off, Hollywood lied. Marriage isn’t a magical and wonderful union between two people. It’s messy, hard and emotionally challenging hard work. That is why I personally love marriage (and of course my wife). We need to move the away from the social paradigm where people expect marriages to be happy and constantly blissful and instead move towards the work of creating healthy marriages.
FACINATING ted talk by Amy Cuddy information about how our bodies have the power to change our mind, mood and perception of ourselves and how others perceive us.
Standing with hands on the hips in what she calls the wonder woman pose for 2 minutes can decrease cortisol (stress hormone) and increase testorone (dominance hormone). HT @4afullerlife and Jennifer Christian
Experts in Emotion Series; June Gruber, Yale University In this episode, Dr. June Gruber will speak about Emotions and Relationships with Dr. Margaret Clark ...
Dr. Amy Fuller, Marriage & Family Therapist passionate about healing & empowering a fuller life through Relational, Emotional, Mental & Spiritual Health/Growth. www.AmyFullerPhd.com
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SO SWEET !
These are the most beautiful little love stories. I experienced tears of joy and gratitude for living in such a beautiful world.