Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 10:00am until Sunday, January 22, 2012 at 6:00p
Start 2012 by becoming a more powerful peace leader. Cultivate compassion for yourself and others, and learn skills for embodying the 5 Core Practices of Compassionate Listening.
Facilitated by Leah Green, founder of the Compassionate Listening Project, and Therese Charvet, Certified CL Facilitator and founder of Sacred Groves.
Compassionate Listening is a practice that reaches deep into the heart of discord or disconnection, teaching people to listen with a different "ear" to those around them. Its powerful tools help transform the energy of conflict into opportunities for understanding, intimacy at home, healthy relations, productive teamwork, and positive action. It is a practice that provides a roadmap to what sages from all ages and cultures have taught: cultivating the wisdom of the heart is the key to real peace "from the inside out."
Most children operate in a Me-First world. Yet, as we seek to raise fully functioning citizens of the world, we must help them mature beyond their Me-First mentality. Some seem to have the emotional IQ of a kumquat, while others seem to intuitively know that harsh words will hurt someone’s feelings.
Ideally, instilling compassion starts at home, teaching each of our seven sons how words or actions make other family members feel. A terrific book on this topic is Raising Compassionate, Courageous Children in a Violent World written by Dr. Janice Cohn. She is the Chief of Consultation and Education at the Department of Psychiatry at the Newark Beth Israel Medical Center.
Dr. Cohn’s research gives parents a step-by-step approach to raising kids to become emotionally intelligent, compassionate citizens.
Can young kids feel empathy? Heather Turgeon takes a look at the latest study on Babble.com....
The study shows one of the earliest signs of a baby’s sense of fairness and altruism — usually considered abilities that show up in the preschool years. For example, four-year-old children are thought to have the first “theory of mind,” or the ability to grasp that others have their own thoughts and feelings. It may be true that kids don’t fully wrap their heads around the existence of another person’s perspective until much later, but the study suggests the roots of empathy and selflessness start way back in babyhood.
And the most intriguing part is that some toddlers seem much more empathetic than others. It could be that they’re born this way — wired more sensitively to the emotions of others and also more generous to go along with it. ...
Page explains what empathy is. Empathy is a skill which develops with teaching and practice. This site and page are your souce of information about preventing antisocial personality disorder in children with ADHD and genetic risk. ..
Empathy is the ability to understand the world from another person’s point of view AND motivation to treat another kindly based on that understanding. Some have suggested that motivation to treat another kindly happens because an empathetic person actually feels another’s feelings. Empathy is necessary for caring behavior.
Empathy has an emotional and a thinking component. To have empathy means to feel another's feelings (pain, sorrow, joy and other emotions). To have empathy one must also understand intellectually.
Over the course of this academic year, these students have been living and learning the skills of Nonviolent Communication, growing their capacity for empathy and compassion. They are establishing an effective communication foundation to serve them for a lifetime.
You don’t have to be in a classroom to improve your ability to be empathetic. Scientists, game-makers, and designers are creating new ways of measuring, cultivating, and boosting empathy
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And you can even get started on your own. Want to try? Here are three empathy-building resources to check out:
1. You’re unemployed, you’ve lost your house, and you’re down to your last $1,000. Can you make it through the month?
The students went through a series of simulated impairments experienced by the elderly. Empathy training is an attempt to have the caregiver experience what their residents/patients live with daily. Students experienced some type of disability from visual and hearing impairments to mobility difficulty.
“Empathy training isn’t what it sounds like,” said Shelby White after completing the training. “This experience completely put me in the shoes of someone disabled. It’s not enough to just say ‘This is how someone will be.’ You never fully understand until you’re put through the obstacles these people face every day.”
Bullying is a major problem in our schools and social networks of children today. Roots of Empathy is a program that takes a preventative approach in helping children to understand the feelings of others. This in turn helps them to develop tolerance and acceptance of difference, thus reducing bullying and aggression. The key to the success of this program is a young infant who comes into their classroom once a month during the school year. The children bond to the baby and experience empathy.
Jennifer’s work on empathy is fantastic and she continues that line of schlolarship w/ the piece. Essentially she says that when addressing value-based problems, empathy is critical. The paper discusses how to teach empathy (yes, it can be done). Jen in conjunction with Larry Susskind have developed roleplays doing this (available at the Harvard PON) and this paper discusses her experience doing this. The commenters enjoyed the piece, a sampling:
The more you practice the steps to empathy the better you will get at it and the more naturally and easily you will be able to step out of your world and into the world of another person. ..
You can practice empathy anywhere anytime. By doing so you will get a vacation and you will get to know more about yourself and another person. You will have also given someone attention, which is a very nice reward for them. And you will benefit by practicing moving your attention on purpose.
In our fast paced world attention is something people often don’t get enough of.
The simple empathy exercise strengthens your ability to put your attention where you want it. As you practice the empathy you will become the master of your own attention. So not only do you get a vacation but you come back with new skills and strengths that will help you many times a day.
Jason March will talk about How Art Can Heal–the Power of Compassionate Connections
At at time when people are becoming more socially isolated, with fewer strong social connections, research is documenting the profound psychological and physical benefits of connecting with other people, ranging from stronger immune systems to greater happiness. But how can we foster this connection? A recent wave of studies is suggesting that art can play an important role. This research suggests that creating art–through writing and other methods–brings many of the same therapeutic benefits as maintaining close relationships. What’s more, studies have found that art can boost important qualities–including greater empathy–among people who consume art, not just those who create it.
When people are asked to list the best qualities of humans, kindness and compassion are always at the top of the list. We're able to be compassionate with others in large part because we can empathize with them. Empathy is key to a healthy, compassionate person (and a healthy, compassionate world), and studies show that we're innately wired to be empathetic, and that even at a very young age we demonstrate (and show a preference for) empathy.
Jinpa was invited to be a visiting research scholar by the recently established Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE) at Stanford University, where he has developed a program titled Compassion Cultivation Training.
This eight-week secular program consists of a sequence of exercises that progressively cultivate mental stability through present-focused attention and compassion for friends and family, self, strangers and disliked people. (See sidebar on page 12 to learn more about this program.)
January 21st I start an "Empathic communication practice group" at Furnace Mountain together with Karen Bowmer. For five Saturdays we will learn and practice non-violent communication (NVC) as developed by Marshall Rosenberg. Spaces are still available. Registration is required. For further information please email me or check out our website: www.furnacemountain.org
Children learn empathy and compassion in the very air they breathe in the home.When babies are attended to promptly when they cry or are hungry or wet, they learn that they have value, and they learn to trust. On this trust hangs everything.
As children grow, we as parents and teachers and neighbors teach about compassion by example. Mothers attending to a hurt child inquire, “Are you OK?” That’s where Emmy learned to be concerned for her own mother. She had experienced parental concern many times before, and she knew that when someone is hurt, it’s a bad thing.
many people, through experience, are better able to view other people with a more sensitive understanding and empathy.
Heightening awareness comes from many different sources. The most obvious is what a person directly experiences in their day-to-day relationships and interactions with others and what they observe around them. But sometimes that isn’t enough to enhance their understanding. In direct relationships the ego can get involved, diminishing the ability to be wholly empathetic.
That’s where excellent books can nudge us along, allowing readers to safely enter another person’s world without direct confrontation, without any possibility of ego interference, and ultimately provide us with snippets of wisdom to foster greater growth of empathetic feelings toward others.
Such is the case with the children’s books reviewed below.
It's often true that people can't truly comprehend what they have no exposure to or knowledge of. The converse is also true -- that many people, through experience, are better able to view other people with a more sensitive understanding and empathy.
Heightening awareness comes from many different sources. The most obvious is what a person directly experiences in their day-to-day relationships and interactions with others and what they observe around them. But sometimes that isn't enough to enhance their understanding. In direct relationships the ego can get involved, diminishing the ability to be wholly empathetic.
That's where excellent books can nudge us along, allowing readers to safely enter another person's world without direct confrontation, without any possibility of ego interference, and ultimately provide us with snippets of wisdom to foster greater growth of empathetic feelings toward others.
“The capacity to give one’s attention to a sufferer is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is a miracle. Nearly all those who think they have the capacity do not possess it.” – Simone Weil
An astonishing paradox I witness regularly is how, time and again, we long for others’ presence when we are suffering, and yet when others are suffering we reassure, offer advice, change the topic awkwardly, comfort, sympathize, offer our own experiences – anything but bringing our presence. How can we meet those moments with more presence and be in empathic connection with the other person?
Pure Presence
The first step, perhaps, is to release ourselves from the idea that we have to say something. Presence is wordless. It’s about making our being available to be with another person’s experience instead of being focused on our own. I imagine, if we manage to work through the challenges of our current times and survive as a species, that a time may come when we will have language to describe what presence looks like.
Some important social intelligence skills are empathy, compassion, and a positive mental outlook. These skills can be taught as any other skills such as leadership and goal-setting. Some of the important aspects of developing empathy are self-awareness, self-compassion, active listening, and the ability to experience or identify with the thoughts and emotions of others.
One way to deliver social intelligence-building experiences is on the mobile platform. A virtual coach ('Siri 2.0') can send you randomly-timed messages like the examples below.
A new study suggests empathetic body language and behavior are linked to a genetic variation associated with sociability. People with the “prosocial” gene displayed more caring and trusting nonverbal behaviors, like head nods, smiles, and eye contact, while listening to a loved one describe a time of suffering. They were also rated as more empathetic by strangers who watched them for 20 seconds on silent videotape.
It was amazing to see how the viewers were able to so accurately match the people to their genes, researcher Sarina Rodrigues Saturn, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Oregon State University, says in the release. "It makes sense that a gene crucial for social processing would yield these findings; other studies have shown that people are good at judging people at a distance and first impressions really make an impact."
http://www.ted.com In our louder and louder world, says sound expert Julian Treasure, "We are losing our listening." In this short, fascinating talk, Treasure shares five ways to re-tune your ears for conscious listening -- to other people and the world around you.
Empathy can be facilitated in numerous ways. Parents can teach empathy at a young age by always posing the question or mindset of “how do you think that makes them feel?” When they take a toy from their friend, this tactic helps kids to think critically about their actions and the repercussions it has on others.
During the teenage years, teachers and youth-leaders can help facilitate understanding through well-integrated service learning (click to learn more), a learning strategy that integrates meaningful community service with instruction and reflection to enrich the learning experience, teach civic responsibility, and strengthen communities. This type of teaching, when student-led, can have reverberating effects in the lives of teens not only at the moment, but years down the road.
c4cfc77e-3fee-4e5a-97d4-d9b44c4762aa's comment November 26, 2011 11:17 PM
Great processes, but could I suggest a slight re-phrasing of the question: rather than asking a child to reflect on how something 'makes' someone feel, perhaps just encourage them to consider how they imagine that person might feel, or how the child herself might feel if it happened to her. As well as learning empathy, we all need to learn to take responsibility for our own feelings, and I worry that the language of 'makes me feel' discourages that equally vital capacity. What someone else does may trigger a reaction in me, but that person doesn't 'make me feel' anything: my feeling is a product of how I interpret what has happened as well as what has happened. As the Talmud says, 'We see the world not as it is but as we are.'
Empathy is the moral virtue that helps children “identify with and feel other people’s concerns.” When they do, they are more likely to reach out and respond in more caring, compassionate ways to others. Unlike genetics or appearance or most temperaments, empathy can be cultivated, and research shows that our infants are already hard-wired. The best way to nurture empathy is for children to witness or experience it. So now review the last few days: “What has your child done or seen that would stretch — or shrink — his or her empathy growth?”
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