Empathic Family & Parenting
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Empathic Family & Parenting
News from around the word about Empathic Relationships, Family Life and Parenting
Curated by Edwin Rutsch
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Developing Empathy in Kids Ages 5-8

Developing Empathy in Kids Ages 5-8 | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy is the ability to understand and respect the perspective of others. It is at the root of a child’s ability to be kind and compassionate. A child’s sense of empathy appears early in life, which can be seen in the way that infants cry when they hear another baby cry or when they try to console one another on the playground.

 

Studies have found that when young children take another person’s perspective and apply it to their interactions, they are more likely to succeed in social settings and are better-liked by their peers.

Show your child empathy. Listen carefully as he talks, acknowledge what he says and ask him questions about his feelings and thoughts. As they get older, children’s capacity for empathy can mature through social interactions, although for some children it happens more naturally than for others. Have a picnic with your child. You can invite a few of his furry friends or action figures over and ask him about his day. If he tells you about a difficult encounter, ask him how he felt and what he thinks the other person in the situation felt, and have him tell you what he could do the next time.

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An Empathetic Response to Sibling Fighting That Avoids You Taking Sides | A Parenting Resources Guide - Hand in Hand Parenting

An Empathetic Response to Sibling Fighting That Avoids You Taking Sides | A Parenting Resources Guide - Hand in Hand Parenting | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
They started yelling and teasing each other until Toty started to cry hard. I really wanted to yell at them both just to "Stop!"

 

Hand in Hand Parenting calls this way of active, empathetic listening, Staylistening, and I never stop being amazed by its magic when I practice it with my daughters. The beauty of Staylistening is that it gives the child space so that all feelings can pour out with the presence of a loving and caring listener.

The benefit for me too, as the listener, although it can be hard at times to hear, is knowing much more what bothers my daughters, and how I might go on to guide them or help.

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(Teaching Empathy) (Empathic Parenting) 10 Important Ways To Teach Kids Empathy

(Teaching Empathy) (Empathic Parenting) 10 Important Ways To Teach Kids Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Ways of Teaching Empathy to kids:
1. Teach the kids Emotions:

Your little one can’t empathize with others unless they know what emotions are and how to put words into emotions to express. As a parent, keep expressing yourself and also talk to them about their emotions that they show.

 

For example say “I can see that you are disappointed that mommy did not take you to the park to play”. “Mom was helpless and anxious the moment the car did not start.” Kids do not hear emotions at the beginning but later, they learn to deal with it and grow in it. Share your emotions with your kids and help them observe the distress in others too.

 

2. Do things Together while watching TV or Reading Book:

3. Discuss what Everyone feels after a Dispute: 

4. Respect for Those who Seem Different: 

5. Be an Example:

6. Respect for those Who can’t Speak for Themselves:
7. Write Thank-You Notes:
8. Enhance their Emotional Vocabulary: 

9. Praise Each other Daily:

10. Do not Over Do It

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roni abramson's curator insight, December 28, 2017 5:06 AM
כיצד אמפתיה מעודדת ילדים ללמוד ולהפוך לאמפתים יותר בעצמם
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(Empathic Parenting) Supporting Empathy in Tweens

(Empathic Parenting) Supporting Empathy in Tweens | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy is the ability to identify and respect the feelings of others. When discussing the middle-school years, people often think of mood swings, unpredictable feelings and selfish tendencies.

 

While many adolescents may seem to be more concerned about their own feelings than anyone else’s, a study published in the journal Developmental Psychology found that young people’s ability to apply empathy to interactions and relationships is developing during the teenage years. Understanding where others are coming from and respecting their perspectives is one of the most essential skills that a person can have. Helping your middle-schooler develop her empathy can contribute to her overall success.

Show your adolescent empathy in action

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(Empathic Relationships) The Power of Empathy in a Troubled Marriage

(Empathic Relationships) The Power of Empathy in a Troubled Marriage | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

 

First, be intentional about showing empathy. Modeling empathy is one of the best ways of creating it in a relationship. You can do this by showing care and concern for your mate. Express gratitude for any thoughtful actions. Be an active listener, showing an interest in your mate’s life. Do your part to create a bond of peace;   

 

Second, be intentional about asking for empathy. Ask your mate to sit and talk about your day. Share feelings openly and encourage your mate to ‘sit with your feelings’ without rescuing you. Listen actively to their feelings, showing concern and care for them. Listen deeply for their innermost thoughts and feelings; 

 

Third, rid your relationship of empathy destroyers. Eliminate empathy destroyers such as criticism, neglect and sarcasm. If you are upset with your mate, bring those issues to the fore in a constructive way. Stop all forms of passive-aggression and hostility, eliminating any speech that hurts the other;   

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy - The Secret Sauce For Happy Relationships: Julie Hanks, LCSW 

New research suggests that empathy is crucial to happy relationships.

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce to a Happy Marriage

(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce to a Happy Marriage | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Are you empathetic? Is your partner? It might be the secret to a happier marriage. According to a recent study from Harvard University, being able to accurately read a partner's emotions--and believing that your partner is trying to understand your emotions--is related to couple relationship satisfaction. ..

10 Things Happy Couples Do

The authors suggested that for men, being able to understand and be empathetic to their partner's negative emotions may feel threatening to the relationship, but women don't seem to find negative emotions threatening. Findings suggest that effort, not just accuracy, positively impacts relationships.

Developing Empathy
If your relationship is distressed or if you simply want to make a good relationship better, here are some ways to work on your empathy skills.

 

by Julie Hanks

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(Empathic Parenting) How to Nurture Empathy in Children

(Empathic Parenting) How to Nurture Empathy in Children | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

How to nurture empathy in children.
Children have the hardwiring for compassion and empathy, but as with all tiny seeds, the capacity for empathy will need nurturing and gentle guidance to develop. Here are some ways to do that.

Encourage their imagination.
Cognitive empathy – the ability to accurately understand and interpret what someone else might be thinking – draws from our imagination and emotional intelligence. When you read stories, watch movies together, or observe people in real life, encourage their curiosity. ..


Acknowledge the emotion in others.
Reading emotions is the first step, then comes the acknowledgement. If our own joy or sadness was met with a stony expression by someone close to us, it would probably leave us feeling a bit empty. 

Do what I do and guess how I feel....

 Face to face. It’s how the best talk happens....

Let’s pretend....

Stay with the feeling – it has a good reason for being there...

.. 

Karen Young

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(Empathic Relationships) The Therapy Trick That Could Change The Way You Talk To Your Partner:  a set of skills that will help you and your partner reconnect and restore empathy,

(Empathic Relationships) The Therapy Trick That Could Change The Way You Talk To Your Partner:  a set of skills that will help you and your partner reconnect and restore empathy, | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Luckily, there are some calmer, more rational ways to get to this point, and there's actually a form of relationship therapy that's designed to teach couples how to express, listen, and understand one another in these types of situations. It's called Imago therapy.

 

Like many forms of therapy, the point of Imago therapy is to develop a set of skills that will help you and your partner reconnect and restore empathy, says Rebecca Sears, LPC, an Imago relationship therapist.

 

That sounds vague and theoretical, but Imago uses a specific dialogue, or script, to help you get there. While I've never tried Imago therapy, there are ways that you can use Imago skills in your everyday life.

 

You just have to follow the three distinct steps: mirroring, validation, and empathy.


Confused? Here's what a typical Imago therapy session entails.

 

CORY STIEG
JUNE 22, 2017

 

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When Lovers Touch, Their Breathing and Heartbeat Syncs While Pain Wanes

When Lovers Touch, Their Breathing and Heartbeat Syncs While Pain Wanes | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
That’s one takeaway from a study released last week that found that when an empathetic partner holds the hand of a woman in pain, their heart and respiratory rates sync and her pain dissipates.

“The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic effect, the higher the synchronization between the two when they are touching,” said lead author Pavel Goldstein, a postdoctoral pain researcher in the Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab at CU Boulder.

The study of 22 couples, published in the journal Scientific Reports last week, is the latest in a growing body of research on “interpersonal synchronization,” the phenomenon in which individuals begin to physiologically mirror the people they’re with.

 

 Lisa Ann Marshall –

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(Empathc Family) How Raising 3 Daughters Taught Me to Have Empathy and Compassion

(Empathc Family) How Raising 3 Daughters Taught Me to Have Empathy and Compassion | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
As a leader in a work setting, it's so important to have empathy for others. It's not possible to lead effectively unless you can somehow start seeing the world from the eyes of your employees. You have to stop "career building" and stop focusing on your own narrow agenda. No team ever survives for long with a leader who only wants to advance his or her own agenda and achieve success.

 

In fact, every healthy team has empathy flowing in abundance. It's so ingrained in every person there is no other option....

 

Learning to have empathy made me a better dad, a better leader...a better person. I can't imagine what kind of corporate drone I would have become otherwise.

 

By John Brandon Contributing editor, Inc.com

 

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Audio: Slate’s Parenting Podcast Asks: Can You Teach Empathy to a 2-Year-Old?

Audio: Slate’s Parenting Podcast Asks: Can You Teach Empathy to a 2-Year-Old? | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Listen to Slate’s parenting podcast discuss how young is too young to teach empathy, and what to do about a boy who dominates his little brother.

By Rebecca Lavoie, Steve Lickteig, and Gabriel Roth
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(Empathic Parenting) Sympathy vs. Empathy: why parents should know the difference

(Empathic Parenting) Sympathy vs. Empathy: why parents should know the difference | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Research shows an ever-growing sense of entitlement in our youth, along with an exponential rise in bullying, despite anti bullying efforts. Why? Because too frequently, parents confuse w sympathy w empathy.

Dr. Leonard, psychotherapist, explains the difference between the two.

 

 1) Sympathy is feeling sorry for your child. When you feel sorry for your child, you tend to lower expectations, make concessions, and demand rules be changed for them. This creates a sense of entitlement in the child.

 

2) Empathy is emotional attunement.

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Therapists Urge 'Empathy' at Thanksgiving, Christmas

Therapists Urge 'Empathy' at Thanksgiving, Christmas | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
But the turkey feasts don’t have to be combative, says Traci Ruble of Half Moon Bay, a therapist and founder of Psyched in San Francisco. And she and counterpart, Edwin Rutsch from the Culture of Empathy in El Cerrito, advocate not to nix the holiday meal.

 

Instead, the two put out a role-playing video teaching families how to listen to each other, instead of fighting about Trump’s transition team whether Clinton should have been locked up over her emails. 


“I actually don't believe in ‘no politics,’ rule,” Ruble said. “We think everyone should get five minutes at the table, where everyone gets to speak in a structured conversation. Everyone else has to listen with empathy. What happens when we feel heard? Our nervous system calms down. When somebody understands, even if they don't agree, they feel known.”

By Lisa Fernandez

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(Teaching Empathy) (Empathic Parenting) 10 Important Ways To Teach Kids Empathy

(Teaching Empathy) (Empathic Parenting) 10 Important Ways To Teach Kids Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Ways of Teaching Empathy to kids:
1. Teach the kids Emotions:

Your little one can’t empathize with others unless they know what emotions are and how to put words into emotions to express. As a parent, keep expressing yourself and also talk to them about their emotions that they show.

 

For example say “I can see that you are disappointed that mommy did not take you to the park to play”. “Mom was helpless and anxious the moment the car did not start.” Kids do not hear emotions at the beginning but later, they learn to deal with it and grow in it. Share your emotions with your kids and help them observe the distress in others too.

 

2. Do things Together while watching TV or Reading Book:

3. Discuss what Everyone feels after a Dispute: 

4. Respect for Those who Seem Different: 

5. Be an Example:

6. Respect for those Who can’t Speak for Themselves:
7. Write Thank-You Notes:
8. Enhance their Emotional Vocabulary: 

9. Praise Each other Daily:

10. Do not Over Do It

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roni abramson's curator insight, December 28, 2017 5:06 AM
כיצד אמפתיה מעודדת ילדים ללמוד ולהפוך לאמפתים יותר בעצמם
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(Teaching Empathy) (Empathic Parenting) How to teach your toddler empathy

(Teaching Empathy) (Empathic Parenting) How to teach your toddler empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

I clearly remember listening to my then 2-year-old daughter as she was comforting her doll. She sounded out the cries of her doll and followed it with, “I got you. You’re safe.”

My heart was melting as she gave her doll the same care I gave her when she would cry from a scraped knee or when feeling frightened. I realize now that this is a form of empathy, as she was empathizing with her “crying” baby and using what had comforted her when she had cried.

As parents we often get caught up with academics—feeling that children must learn how to read early on and solve math problems to succeed—but we forget about the life skills that are needed and not learned in a school book.

 

Here are four steps you can take to guide your child towards successful relationships:

1. Be a model....

2. Name the feelings....

3. Be patient....

4. Take space....

 

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Relationships First

Relationships First | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Unlike self-help quick fixes and pop culture “cures,” this methodology is proven, based on cutting-edge relational science.

 

Using a three-step dialogue process of

  • mirroring,
  • validating and
  • empathizing –


eliminating negativity from your interactions and approaching your partner with curiosity instead of judgment – you not only grow more present and intimate with each other, but begin to heal and grow the neural pathways in the brain.

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce of Happy Marriages

(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce of Happy Marriages | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Everyone has an innate desire to be understood, to be heard, and to be validated. This is why close relationships can be so powerful.

They give us the opportunity to connect with others in ways that allow both individuals to be seen, respected, loved, and really feel known by the other person. But as many of us have experienced, even burning love can cool down, and even couples who once had a deep emotional engagement with one another may find themselves feeling disconnected and dissatisfied.

As a clinical therapist of more than 20 years, I’ve sat with many disheartened couples who are confused about where their love has gone and why they don’t feel the same way about each other that they once did. There are a great number of reasons why a marriage or romantic relationship could be in distress, and I won’t attempt to solve or remedy all of them in a single article.  

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy Improves Relationships

(Empathic Relationships) Empathy Improves Relationships | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
A successful, supportive intimate relationship can be one of the most rewarding relationships a person will ever have. But achieving this type of union can be challenging. For some couples, communication can seem one sided, and effective dialogue is rare.

 

However, licensed psychotherapist Julie Hanks, LCSW, reveals that couples can start down the path of healthy communication by developing empathy. In a recent article, Hanks explains how empathy can help partners avoid frustration and improve relationships.

 

 Hanks, J. (2012). Empathy: The secret sauce to a happy marriage. Retrieved from http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/love-sex/empathy-secret-sauce-happy-marriage-044200327.html

 

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Teaching Children Empathy  

Teaching Children Empathy   | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
By considering what a person feels you confirm the value of that person. Children become caring and loving individuals when their parents empathize with them. Research indicates that child neglect is associated with a lack of their parents’ emotional empathy.

 

A child learns empathy when she sees her mother hug a friend in distress. He learns empathy when he sees his dad help a neighbor. He learns empathy when his parents understand what he feels. A lack of empathy can result in antisocial behaviors, and many persons who are addicted seem to have impaired empathy.

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(Empathic Parenting) Why empathic limits help kids develop self discipline.

(Empathic Parenting) Why empathic limits help kids develop self discipline. | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

But kids also learn self discipline from the daily limits you set, as long as you set them with empathy. Why is empathy essential to this process? Because your child is less likely to struggle against the limit. She may not like your limit, but she feels your understanding and compassion.

 

She knows you're on her side. So she chooses to stop fighting for what she wants, so she can have something she wants more -- to stay lovingly connected to you, even to be "like" you. She chooses to regulate her own impulses. She accepts your limit, and even internalizes it -- makes it her own...

What does an empathic limit look like? Empathy is "feeling" the other person's point of view. Setting limits is informing your child of a rule or expectation. Here's how you combine them: 

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Empathy

Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

SUGGESTIONS FOR TEACHERS, SPECIALISTS, AND HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS


Focus on empathy by discussing this virtue and poster. To deepen it's meaning, focus on an activity, suggestion, book, or printable. Once an understanding of this trait has been achieved and demonstrated, present award(s). Visit my store to purchase similar virtue packets, awards, posters, and task cards.

INCLUDED RESOURCES
1. Suggested Activities
2. Suggested Activities Continued
3. Teaching Guide
4. Discussion Starter Questions
5. What Can I Show Empathy? Printable
6. Empathy Printable
7. Showing Empathy... Printable
8. How Would You Feel? Printable
9. Feelings Printable
10. What Does Empathy Mean? Printable
11. Empathy Acrostic Poem Printable
12. Empathy word Printable
13. Empathy Poster
14. Empathy Award
15. Empathy Vouchers
16. TOU and Credits

 

 

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Holding your partner's hand can ease their pain - The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic [pain relieving] effect

Holding your partner's hand can ease their pain - The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic [pain relieving] effect | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

They found that if her partner was allowed to hold her hand, she reported feeling lower levels of pain than if the couple merely sat next to one another.

Scientists believe that holding hands with a loved one activates an area of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex, which is associates with pain, empathy and heart functioning. ..

People 'subconsciously sync up' 

'The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic [pain relieving] effect, the higher the synchronization between the two when they are touching,' said Dr Pavel Goldstein, from the University of Colorado at Boulder....

Empathetic' partners ease pain more 

'It appears that pain totally interrupts this interpersonal synchronization between couples,' Dr Goldstein said.

'Touch brings it back.'

His previous research found that the more empathy the man showed for the woman, the more her pain subsided during touch.

 

By DAISY DUNNE 

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(Empathic Family) 5 Tips for Raising an Empathetic Child — Starting in Preschool

(Empathic Family) 5 Tips for Raising an Empathetic Child — Starting in Preschool | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

06/21/2017

 

According to Nelson, there are five ways you can help your preschooler learn empathy:

1. Recognize and address your child’s needs.
A child’s needs and wants aren’t always convenient. If adult schedules interfere with nap time, it’s tempting to tell your child, “You can wait a few minutes.” But a “few minutes” can seem like an eternity to a sleepy 4-year-old. Validate your child’s feelings by saying instead, “I know you’re tired, and we’ll get home as soon as we can and then you can go right to sleep.”

2. Focus on feelings.
A child’s needs and wants aren’t always convenient

3. Teach verbal and non-verbal cues.

4. Use pretend play.

5. Encourage inclusion.

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The Parenting Guide to Teaching Teens About the Benefits of Empathy

The Parenting Guide to Teaching Teens About the Benefits of Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy means the capacity to understand or feel what another person feels or experiences in any given situation. People can generally learn empathy at any given age, but a younger person’s mind is still growing and learning (and pretty self-centered).

 

As parent’s, we can help these young minds learn empathy as an important skill to foster healthy relationships as they age.

 

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