Highly Sensitive

Many seemingly self-assured performers and actors have experienced shyness. Many people find performing changes their level of self confidence.

Rebel Wilson “thought she was destined for a black-and-white existence as an actuary, computing equations in a cubicle.

“The young Australian was painfully shy, so much so that she recalls her social anxiety as bordering on being a serious disorder. Then one day, her mother, tired of her daughter’s isolated behavior, dragged her to an acting class..."

“I’m too sensitive to watch most of the reality shows. It’s so painful for me.” Amy Brenneman

We may have thoughts that are based on irrational beliefs about how life is, or how we “should be” – and those thoughts can become habitual responses, and be too broad or inaccurate to serve our personal growth.

For example, you may think at times, “I’m too sensitive.”

Well, what does that really mean? Too sensitive for what?

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life. Dr. Orloff writes: Loneliness gets to some more than others.

Psychologist Elaine Aron notes: "Not all sensitive people are shy. But especially if you are both, you need to know your drinking comfort zone."

Jane Fonda: “Acting was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, I was so shy."

Evan Rachel Wood: “I used to not even be able to order pizza on the phone because I was just so shy. I think that’s why so much comes out on-screen, because that’s my time to let go in a safe place. When you’re doing that, it’s all written down on paper and it’s total fiction.”

Many creative people are considered shy or introverted, or identify themselves as one or both. They are not the same thing, but can overlap and interact.

Jonathan Rauch: “Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties...?

“For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating.”

Like a number of other dynamic and creative musicians and actors, Gwen Stefani affirms she has qualities of the personality trait of high sensitivity: “I’m really emotional..."

"Is shyness good or bad? For many shy people, it's a difficult question to answer. They don't know if it would be better to accept themselves or change." By Sean Cooper.

[Also includes my video Creative People and Shyness.]

Elaine Aron says "For many HSPs the real challenge is to achieve the middle ground…ordinary, normal."

But is "normal" what we want to be?

In an issue of her newsletter several years ago, creativity coach Jenna Avery wrote: “I hear from many of you that you don’t want to “accept” being highly sensitive. It’s like if you give yourself permission to be who you really are, you’re giving in or even giving up somehow.

A Wall Street Journal article notes, "Actors—women especially—love to appear in Woody Allen films… Though he's good at it, Allen actually hates casting, and his process is so eccentric that, Juliet Taylor, Allen's casting director said, 'We warn people beforehand.'

"The whole interview typically lasts about a minute, and in most cases the actors aren't even asked to take a seat. "I find the whole experience very awkward, because I am socially awkward," Allen said. "I don't like meeting people." - From How Woody Allen Sees It By Charles McGrath http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323469804578523611076250442.html

Winona Ryder starred in the film based on Susanna Kaysen’s novel “Girl, Interrupted” and thinks Kaysen “captures a mood we’ve all experienced.

“It’s like a reflective time we’ve all had in our lives.. You go through spells where you feel that maybe you’re too sensitive for this world. I certainly felt that.”

Psychologist Pat Allen also talks about her experience being highly sensitive.

To avoid being seen as too weird or different, and to fit in better with others, gifted people often learn to stifle or cover up their unusual cognitive and other abilities, which can lead to an enduring pattern of hiding.

When she began directing in the forties, Ida Lupino sometimes claimed not to know the best way to line up a shot or specify a line reading, explaining “Men hate bossy women. Sometimes I pretend to know less than I do.”

“I’m an introvert… I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky.”

More quotes attributed to Audrey Hepburn: “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.”

Jean Houston thinks "what we call the psychic trait is something that is extended through our nervous system as part of our perceptual sensibilities."

Many creative people are considered shy or introverted or highly sensitive. These are not the same thing, but can overlap and interact.

Emma Watson on being introverted: "I’m kind of an introverted person just by nature, it’s not like a conscious choice that I’m making necessarily. It’s genuinely who I am."

Judith Orloff M.D. says "Energy vampires are people who suck our energy dry. Everyone can benefit from skills on how to cope with them."

Marti Olsen Laney is an author, researcher, speaker and authority on introversion. In this audio interview she talks about introversion versus shyness.

In an interview for the Mensa Education and Research Foundation Dr. Laney talks about the trait, and also shyness. The page notes, “While the general population is made up of approximately 75 percent extroverts and 25 percent introverts, the membership of Mensa is the nearly the reverse: approximately 65 percent introverts and 35 percent extroverts.” Here is a brief audio excerpt.

One aspect of high sensitivity can be having strong feelings and emotions.

“I’m a very sensitive person. I hurt real easy and real deep, which is why I think I have to write songs, [and] why so many of them fit the feelings of so many people that can’t write. It’s because I feel everything to my core.” Dolly Parton

"Being self-employed can be life saving for hIghly sensitive people who are drained and made sick by conventional work environments."