We may not have realized all or even many of the promises of our identity as a gifted kid, but that doesn't mean we are not still gifted as adults. What kinds of thinking and feeling get in the way?
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High Ability
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Being exceptionally creative, intelligent, intense http://highability.org
Curated by
Douglas Eby
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Mary-Elaine Jacobsen on being exceptional: "To feel like an outsider, to constantly pressure yourself to hold back your gifts in order to fit in..." -- Also see other perspectives on being a gifted, creative person. 
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Many creative, sensitive, highly intelligent people may feel like misfits.
Therapist Sharon M. Barnes notes that "Many creative, sensitive, intelligent and/or gifted youth and adults feel like misfits, or as many have expressed, like aliens from a different planet."
See link in article to her Social-Emotional ACES Home Video Program to “help you become skilled experts in the Social-Emotional arena.”
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See much more in article "Raising Gifted Kids: Carol S. Dweck on the Impact of Mind-set" http://highability.org/83/carol-s-dweck-on-the-impact-of-mind-set/
“Great accomplishment, and even what we call genius, is typically the result of years of passion and dedication and not something that flows naturally from a gift.”
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“What drives the world no longer drives them. Seeing the madness of our civilization so clearly, they may feel somewhat alienated from the culture around them.
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The Social-Emotional ACES Home Video Program is designed to help creative, intense, sensitive people be skilled experts in the Social-Emotional arena.
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Creative people feeling like misfits
Douglas Eby's insight:
Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW, Therapist For Sensitive And Gifted, works with children, teens and adults who are creative, sensitive, intense, and often gifted people. She comments that "many creative, sensitive, intelligent and/or gifted youth and adults feel like misfits, or as many have expressed, like aliens from a different planet."
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Some may feel pain at being different from "the way women are supposed to be" and hide their abilities to "fit in" with more "normal" society. An honors graduate of Harvard Law School, Tama J. Kievesleft her practice with a large corporate law firm to write, coach and lead workshops on reaching meaningful self-expression. In her book “This Time I Dance!..” Kieves encourages the honoring of our intuitve wisdom, and releasing constraints based too much on reason alone:
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When perfectionism interferes with productive achievement and a happy lifestyle, it is a social and an emotional problem. “I was at dance school doing about 35 hours practice a week until I was 14. Then ballet started to grate – the whole idea of trying to attain perfection started to ruin the experience.” Mia Wasikowska (Photo from “Alice in Wonderland.”)
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In this film, twelve children, teens and young adults speak candidly about their unique and diverse experiences as gifted individuals.
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Many gifted adults, regardless of whether they participated in gifted education in their youth, still don’t identify as gifted in adulthood.
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Being highly talented and exceptional can engender a complex mix of feelings about your self and how you relate to your advanced abilities, and to others. Rachel Weisz said she felt guilty about "any success..as if I was depriving someone else."
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Lupita Nyong'o, Jennifer Lawrence and many other highly talented actors are acclaimed for their intensity. An interviewer wrote: "All throughout our lunch, the part of Lawrence that never let up was a kind of intense engagement with the world or the person in front of her." A personality trait that may often accompany high sensitivity (experienced by many, or most, gifted and creative people) is high intensity.
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"The experience of the gifted adult is the experience of an unusual consciousness, an extraordinary mind whose perceptions and judgments may be different enough to require an extraordinary courage." Stephanie Tolan
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Use your multipotentiality to fuel income, developing ventures to use your multiple interests and skills for business success.
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Mary Lou Kelly Streznewski in her book "Gifted Grownups" identifies three types of gifted adults – Strivers, Superstars and Independents. Superstars are the one-third who make the rest of us look bad. Often all gifted people are expected to be like this.
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“The cumulative effect is that many creative, sensitive, intelligent and/or gifted youth and adults feel like misfits, or as many have expressed, like aliens from a different planet."
This program helps people become "skilled experts in the Social-Emotional arena. You’ll learn to ride the intense waves of emotion in your life, instead of being pulled under by them."
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Being highly sensitive is a common experience for many, if not most, gifted people. It is related to intensity and excitabilities such as emotional, intellectual and imaginational and sensory. Mary-Elaine Jacobsen comments in an article of hers about the high sensitivity aspect of giftedness.
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Emotional health for creative, gifted, highly sensitive people
Creative, sensitive, gifted kids & adults can "ride their waves of emotion instead of being flooded by them." The Social-Emotional ACES Home Video Program http://thecreativemind.net/ACES
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Impostor Syndrome - "How to Thrive in Spite of It" - site of Dr. Valerie Young. “The assumption that you have to know everything before you consider yourself competent is a big reason why you – and a lot of other people – walk around feeling like a clueless fraud.” ~ Dr. Valerie Young Many talented and creative people experience impostor or fraud feelings and beliefs about themselves, despite their accomplishments. How can we change those feelings to be more confident and creative? Read more in post: Overcome Impostor Feelings
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Many people in the arts are shy or introverted. Stanley Kubrick was called shy by one of his actors, and Nicole Kidman has said "I am really shy."
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Author Mary-Elaine Jacobsen writes about the experience of being exceptional: "To feel like an outsider, to constantly pressure yourself to hold back your gifts in order to fit in or avoid disapproval, to erroneously believe that you are overly sensitive, compulsively perfectionistic, and blindly driven, to live without knowing the basic truths about the core of your being – too often this is the life of Everyday Geniuses who have been kept in the dark about who they are and misinformed about their differences.
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This romanticism of mental illness needs to stop.
Douglas Eby's curator insight,
August 14, 2014 4:33 PM
James Thurman Webb, PhD commented in a Facebook post about Robin Williams: "I have no doubt that he was a highly gifted man who struggled with existential depression. His intensity, sensitivity, and search for life meaning, characteristic of so many gifted people, permeated his life." Intensity was an almost defining quality of Williams (and many gifted artists and other people). Polish Psychiatrist and Psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski defined this intensity as overexcitability: an abundance of physical, sensual, creative, intellectual and emotional energy. As Dr. Webb and others have pointed out, intensity and other characteristics of giftedness may be misinterpreted as pathology. One of my articles: What do you do with your intensity? [which links to a number of related articles] http://talentdevelop.com/2475/what-do-you-do-with-your-intensity/
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Many highly talented and creative people talk about being self-critical, having poor self-esteem, and experiencing impostor feelings. Emily Mortimer, like many talented people, experiences impostor feelings: "I’m convinced I’m terrible and I’m going to get fired.”
Sharrock's curator insight,
February 3, 2015 11:03 AM
Psychologist Anne Paris, PhD explains in her article A New Approach to Igniting and Sustaining Creativity, “Contrary to how we’ve been taught to value independence and autonomy, this new scientific evidence is showing that we are at our best when we are connected with others.” |
