Empathic Family & Parenting

Empathy is something easily taken for granted. Not everyone possesses or exhibits empathy and few actually exhibit the right amount of empathy. Empathy is a skill that is learned over time.

There are ways to help even the youngest children display greater empathy toward other children as well as adults. As their parent, you can:

Be an example. It’s easy to get caught up in this “do as I say, not as I do” mentality, but that doesn’t work well in creating empathy. Lead by example.
Be mindful of your child’s emotions. If we don’t respect our children’s emotions, how can we teach them to respect others?

Empathy is one of the vital steps towards cultivating humanity. Read on to learn the 5 ways you can teach empathy to your kids.

If you have been in a relationship for any length of time, you undoubtedly understand how fulfilling they can be; however, they require hard work, empathy, and commitment from both parties.

Communication and empathy are two great ways to strengthen a relationship. Why? These qualities allow you to have a deeper and more meaningful connection.

Now that we have a general understanding of the importance of empathy in your relationship, let’s turn our attention towards steps that you can take towards becoming a more empathetic partner:

• 1. KEEPING THE LINE OF COMMUNICATION OPEN...
• 2. SEEING THINGS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE...
• 3. ASK QUESTIONS...
• 4. AVOID PASSING JUDGMENT...
• 5. DIVIDE THE WORKLOAD...
• 6. ACKNOWLEDGE THE WANTS AND NEEDS OF YOUR PARTNER...
• 7. SET ASIDE TIME TO BECOME A BETTER EMPATH...
• 8. BE “PRESENT” IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP...

Michele Borba, is an internationally renowned educational psychologist and an expert in parenting, bullying, and character development. She is an award-winning author of twenty-two books translated into fourteen languages.

One of the foremost authorities on childhood development in the country, she is a regular NBC contributor who appears regularly on Today and has been featured as an expert on Dateline, The View, Dr. Phil, NBC Nightly News, Fox & Friends, Dr. Oz, and The Early Show, among many others.  She is author of, UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

"Empathy is the root of humanity and the foundation that helps our children become good, caring people. But the Empathy Advantage also gives them a huge edge at happiness and success."

When people are feeling happy, upset or even angry, we try to understand their feelings by putting ourselves in their shoes.  Often, the other person's feelings can also inspire your sympathy. This is known as empathy. Empathy is an important quality which makes us less inclined to get into an argument or become aggressive and more inclined to help others.

Dr Van der Graaff and her team are investigating the role that young people's relationships with their parents and peers play in these changes in empathy. They are also examining the relationship between boys' empathy skills and how well they function within their family, at school and in society.

How? Think about it this way. Each time your children “play pretend,” they have to imagine how another person would think and feel, and then act accordingly. Like striking the confident pose of a superhero, or forgetting how to walk and talk like a baby, or adopting an oh-so-fancy accent and extended pinky finger to have tea with the queen. Although acting may just seem like a fun game to your kids, it’s also giving them amazing practice at understanding people and developing empathy.

When a parent bestows the gift of empathy on a child, that visceral connection changes everything.

I see parents and children make breakthroughs every day. And guess what makes the most difference? Empathy. If we can actually see things from our child's perspective, everything changes.

This doesn't mean agreeing with our child, or letting him do whatever he wants just because we understand why he wants to. But it does mean that while our child doesn't get everything she wants, she gets something better: Someone who understands and accepts her, no matter what. It also means that once we understand our child's perspective, we can intervene to help her meet the needs that she was trying to meet all along, from connection to feeling valued. 

"In the last few years, I’ve been exploring the use of Empathy Circles with some of my organizational clients, with facilitator learning groups, and in communication workshops. I’ve been finding that it is a great introduction and warm-up for Dynamic Facilitation, one of my core practices, as it offers everyone in the room the opportunity to engage in offering listening reflections to one another.

At the same time, I’m totally excited to see that Edwin Rutsch, the creator of Empathy Circles, has been bringing his work into the arena healing political divides. My experience is that this simple-yet-powerful form is actually quite revolutionary, in the best sense of the word, and so I want to delve a bit into what I see as the underlying dynamics. But first, a brief description, followed by a distinction and clarification…"

 In general, this rise in emotional intensity occurs more quickly during couples’ disagreements than it does in other relationship disagreements, such as with co-workers. Once escalation occurs, it is often an uphill struggle for at least one of the partners to regain emotional self-control.

It is clearly to the advantage of both individuals to avoid the escalation, or to de-escalate as soon as possible when it does occur.  In my clinical work with couples, I guide them in practicing two critical skill sets for resolving conflicts:

• 1. preventing the escalation of emotions through the use of empathic responses, and
• 2. De-escalating as soon as possible through the use of self-calming skills. The importance of empathic responses was also described by Dr. Leon Seltzer

 In general, this rise in emotional intensity occurs more quickly during couples’ disagreements than it does in other relationship disagreements, such as with co-workers. Once escalation occurs, it is often an uphill struggle for at least one of the partners to regain emotional self-control.

It is clearly to the advantage of both individuals to avoid the escalation, or to de-escalate as soon as possible when it does occur.  In my clinical work with couples, I guide them in practicing two critical skill sets for resolving conflicts:

• 1. preventing the escalation of emotions through the use of empathic responses, and
• 2. De-escalating as soon as possible through the use of self-calming skills. The importance of empathic responses was also described by Dr. Leon Seltzer

WHEN I WORKED AS A school-based therapist, meeting with small groups of kids –often girls – was a regular occurrence. The great benefit of having therapists on campus was that kids didn’t have to sit with uncomfortable emotions throughout the day. They could, and did, seek help when needed.

On one particular day, three middle school girls collapsed on my couch and began to vent their frustrations about a peer. The peer in question had a tendency to both seek attention from the group at all times and interrupt frequently should the attention of the group shift away from her. They were tired of it, and they wanted me to help them figure out a way to talk to their peer about these issues without her “falling apar

The skills of empathy, creativity, and self-control are interconnected. Each skill bleeds over into the other skills, so building ability in one area will translate to greater ability in the other two.

We can use things we're already doing as parents in a different way to foster not only empathy but also the related skills of creativity and self-control. The most important thing you can do to grow compassionate kids is to intentionally focus on these skills daily in tiny ways.

"The findings indicate that even during a baby's first year, the infant is already sensitive to others' feelings and can draw complicated conclusions about the context of a particular emotional display," says Dr. Florina Uzefovsky, head of the BGU Bio-Empathy Lab, and senior lecturer in BGU's department of psychology and the Zlotowski Center for Neuroscience.

"Even during the first year of life, babies are able to identify figures who "deserve" empathy and which ones do not, and if it appears that there is no justification for the other one's distress, no preference is shown."
 

Denmark is one of the happiest countries in the world. This is according to the UN’s World Happiness Report, an important survey that since 2012 classifies the happiness of 155 countries in the world, and that for seven years has placed Denmark among the top three happiest countries on a global level. The fact that teaching empathy has been mandatory since 1993 in schools in Denmark is a factor that contributes to the happiness of the country.

Empathy helps build relationships, prevent bullying and succeed at work. It promotes the growth of leaders, entrepreneurs and managers. “Empathic teenagers” tend to be more successful because they are more oriented towards the goals compared to their more narcissistic peers.

Finding an empathic partner is a blessing in disguise. It feels great to fall in love with someone who appreciates you. Here are 5 benefits of being an empathic partner

1.  Less frustration

An empathic partner will not stress you because of stupid things. You will feel loved and cared for. It feels great to date someone who rarely wants to hurt you in any way...

2. Better understanding...

3. Makes you feel listened to...

4. Experience great appreciation..

5. Mutual trust...

 by Adonijah Nziwa

In our previous post, we shared with you some helpful posts on how you can be a catalyst of change in other people’s lives and passing this on to your children. Empathy is such a life-giving character that our Charity Organization in Indianapolis, Indiana strives to practice this virtue in every opportunity presented to us.

Thankfully, your role as a parent can be a great contribution in the way your child develops towards an empathic person. Hereon, let’s share with you some more tips on how you can influence your little one to this empowering virtue.

So, what is affective empathy?

Affective empathy is the ability to sense the emotions that another person is feeling. You experience affective empathy when you tear up at a sad movie or feel elated for the player who just scored the winning goal.

This processing of emotions plays out in the limbic system, a part of the brain that develops early in life, making early childhood a perfect time to support affective empathy. We can cultivate this natural ability in our kids in simple ways every day. Here are just a few that have made all the difference for our kids and us:

Empathy, the ability to understand others and feel compassion for them, is arguably the most defining human quality – setting us apart from smart machines and even other animals. Without it, we couldn’t function in social areas such as the schools, court rooms and office workplaces that are the cornerstones of our society.

But babies and toddlers are generally poor at showing sensitivity to other people’s feelings. So how do they develop this crucial skill – do they learn it gradually or is it just an innate ability that kicks in at a certain age?

Empathy involves being sensitive to the emotions of others, understanding those emotions and responding in an appropriate way. Studies on how empathy develops need to look at how children understand and respond to emotions rather than their ability to recognise them. This is because children who have difficulties with empathy generally have little or no difficulty in identifying emotional reactions in others, but rather in understanding the purpose or cause of it.

Let's say you tell your child that it's time for bed, and she ignores you or says NO! What are your choices?

Threaten or punish her. You have to keep escalating, it ruins everyone's evening, and it erodes your relationship with your child.

Let her do whatever she wants. You're compromising on what's good for your child and the rest of the family. Until you explode, eventually....Not exactly responsible or peaceful parenting!

Set a limit -- with empathy. Say "You really don't want to stop playing....I hear you. It's hard to stop. I bet when you grow up, you'll play all night, every night, won't you?  AND right now, it's time to get ready for bed....Do you want to fly your plane to the bathroom, or climb on my back and I'll gallop you there?"

Raising empathetic kids is actually pretty easy, but it requires being thoughtful about others, modeling important behaviors, and being patient with your kid.

Empathy is an important trait for parents to nurture in their kids. Empathetic children, kids who naturally have the ability to understand and even share in the feelings of others, tend to build healthy relationships throughout all stages of life. Fortunately, this trait arrives early and naturally.

Recent research done by Alison Gopnik, a renowned child psychiatrist, shows that empathy can even be observed in babies, who pat other babies when they cry. Still, parents can’t just let well enough alone. They need to encourage their children to think about the feelings of others while also considering their own needs and desires. 

Why Empathy Matters
Empathy is key to understanding the world. It helps us connect with others and build relationships with everyone and everything.

Raising empathetic kids is actually pretty easy, but it requires being thoughtful about others, modeling important behaviors, and being patient with your kid.

Empathy is an important trait for parents to nurture in their kids. Empathetic children, kids who naturally have the ability to understand and even share in the feelings of others, tend to build healthy relationships throughout all stages of life. Fortunately, this trait arrives early and naturally.

Recent research done by Alison Gopnik, a renowned child psychiatrist, shows that empathy can even be observed in babies, who pat other babies when they cry. Still, parents can’t just let well enough alone. They need to encourage their children to think about the feelings of others while also considering their own needs and desires. 

Why Empathy Matters
Empathy is key to understanding the world. It helps us connect with others and build relationships with everyone and everything.