Stop Fighting With Your Partner, and Start Fighting With Yourself".
What Most People Want Out Of Couples Therapy
The majority of couples who enter couples therapytypically want one thing: They want their spouse to be different. Many people in unsettling and dissatisfying relationships have come to believe that their discomfort or unhappiness is a result of their partner’s actions, and if only their partner would change, things would feel and be much better. The problem herein lies usually that both parties in the relationship want each other to change, and most typically neither of them are willing to change. And so, we have a classic standoff; you change first, then maybe I’ll consider changing. In other words, “I need YOU to be different, because I am fine”.
excellent article...