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How to stay calm and collected during tough conversations

From www.fastcompany.com - April 21, 2021 12:42 AM

Difficult conversations tend to be the most stressful of all workplace aggravations.

These are the types of talks that require you to deliver bad news or negative feedback, make a demand such as asking for a raise or more responsibility, apologize for a mistake, or otherwise have a conversation that you dread.

Difficult conversations intensify our emotionality because our minds perceive them as a threat. To the primal parts of our emotional brain, the worry of being disliked or losing standing is akin to being ousted from the group and causes real pain.

You don’t need to let anxiety and frustration overtake your negotiation and rationale skills.

Here’s how to keep the flood of emotions at bay during difficult conversations so you can show up as your best self.

Strategize your approach

Make high-level, headline-like markers that can guide you if you lose your train of thought. Determine what you want to get out of the conversation. Your goal should be realistic and achievable. Planning to “win” is a losing battle.

Rally your resilience

Positive visualization can be effective.

Approach the conversation as a collaboration

Diffuse the emotional charge by listening first. Ask open-ended

Try a mantra

Studies show that repeating a single word or phrase silently to yourself can quiet your mind.

Beware of emotional contagion

To avoid taking on your counterpart’s feelings during a difficult conversation, imagine yourself surrounded by a clear bubble that shields you from their reactions.

read the detailed post at https://www.fastcompany.com/90625384/how-to-keep-calm-during-an-emotionally-taxing-conversation

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3 Billionaires had to quit these 3 bad habits on the road to success.

From www.cnbc.com - October 9, 2018 7:50 AM

Habits and routines are powerful. They help us every day, freeing up brain space and releasing us from making countless decisions. But not every habit is good, and not breaking a bad one can hold you back from success.

If you're struggling to overcome certain vices, take some inspiration from Bill Gates, Elon Musk and Mark Cuban. The three billionaires are successful now but have all had to quit common bad habits over the course of their careers.

What were these bad habits:

Bill Gates was a procrastinator

-- Mr Gates received a sobering reality check when he entered the business world, where deadlines must be met and timeliness is prized. "Nobody praised me because I would do things at the last minute," Gates said. As a result, he tried to "reverse" this habit and become more like the students he knew in college "who were always organized and had things done on time."

Elon Musk was a caffeine addict

-- take a page from Musk and swap out a daily coffee for some good ol' H2O. If you can't quit cold-turkey, slowly decrease the amount of caffeinated beverages you consume each day.

And strangely Mark Cuban was once a bad communicator (SHOCKED TO KNOW THIS)

-- In time, Cuban learned that yelling did more harm than good. "That just increases stress," "When you increase stress — the people around you, productivity, profitability [and] competitiveness decline."

To be an effective leader, you must be able to get your ideas across and receive buy-in from those around you. LinkedIn Luckily, communication is a skill you can learn. Pay attention to your tone of voice, facial expression and gestures and make sure to listen more than you're talking.

Read the original unedited piece at https://www.cnbc.com/2018/10/08/bill-gates-elon-musk-and-mark-cuban-quit-3-bad-habits-before-success.html

nrip's insight:

We are all works in progress. Lets keep kicking bad habits away and speed up our roads to success.

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The Rule of 1 Percent

From www.inc.com - March 19, 2021 4:59 PM

Make a major improvement by leveraging lots of small, easy wins

It's really hard to make massive gains in skill and performance and talent, especially overnight. But it's fairly easy to make small changes every day.

Think small, not big. Think progression, not perfection. Think small improvements to create a major improvement.

The rule of 1 percent and you.

Start by focusing on tasks you frequently perform.

If you make an improvement that saves only 10 seconds, and if you perform that task dozens of times a day, the aggregate gain is considerable.

Maybe that means finding ways to incrementally improve how you manage your WhatsApp.

Or incrementally improve your use of document sharing and collaboration platforms.

Or incrementally improve -- better yet, automate -- making recurring decisions.

Or incrementally improve how you brainstorm.

Break down the component parts of any larger task or pursuit.

Then make small but meaningful improvements to each of those parts.

That way you don't have to get a lot better at one big thing.

You can just get a tiny bit better at a whole lot of little things.

And so can your team.

The rule of 1 percent and your team.

Seeking incremental gains quickly becomes contagious.

Sir Brailsford (who made Britains first Tour De France winning team and used the rule of 1 percent)said. "There's something inherently rewarding about identifying marginal gains, People want to identify opportunities and share them with the group. Our team became a very positive place to be."

Partly that's because we all want to feel we are a meaningful part of something bigger than ourselves, and that our contributions are valued. However small, the more contributions you can make the more valued you can feel.

But the contagious nature -- in a good way -- of embracing the rule of 1 percent also taps into a powerful aspect of motivation.

Improvement feels good.

Improvement is fulfilling.

Fulfillment provides the motivation to seek further improvement. The result is an endless cycle of effort, success, fulfillment, motivation, effort, success.

Increase sales by 20 percent? For some companies, that's a goal that might take months or years to accomplish.

But finding a way to improve the CRM data entry accuracy might take only minutes. Finding a way to to improve RFP turnaround times might take only minutes. Finding a way to improve the speed and quality of responses to certain types of customer inquiries might take only minutes.

Yet the gains can last forever.

And, when aggregated with all the other 1 percent improvements you make, could make a substantial difference for your business.

And for you.

read the original unedited article at https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/why-brilliant-leadership-minds-embrace-rule-of-1-percent.html

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