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The world's worst press release landed in my inbox the other day.
Competition is stiff for that title but this release, which came with the subject line, "Lifesaving information for Chicago citizens," ran away with the crown.
After a cheery, "Hi Mary," it began:
"We are only a little over a halfway through with 2017 and Chicago's violence shows no signs of stopping."
No argument there. Violence is the curse, the tragic flaw, the interminable disease of this great city — a psychological undercurrent even in the many neighborhoods that rarely witness it; and this wasn't the first press release I've ever gotten that takes note of that fact. I routinely get pitches involving violence, some with ideas that sound productive, like programs that work with kids in struggling parts of town.
The world's worst press release wasn't one of those.
Tronc. Few words have garnered as much hilarity in such a short period of time. On Thursday, Tribune Publishing announced that the historic media company would rename itself "tronc." Media Twitter nearly lost its mind. For hours after the announcement, the jokes rolled in. They're still going strong as of Friday morning. Disastrous company rebrandings aren't particularly new, even for newspaper companies. Gannett, which publishes USA Today, spun off its digital businesses into something called TEGNA. None of them drew quite the ridicule that tronc elicited. And since it's Friday, here's 30 of the best tronc jokes from Twitter....
Yesterday, Tribune Publishing, purveyor of news since 1847, changed its name to “tronc” (short for “Tribune Online Content.”) It’s now a “content curation and monetization company” — a company that makes money from content, what we used to call a media company. Today, I deconstruct the rest of its attempt to use techno-drivel to misdirect our attention from its problems. Crisis-tossed Tribune Publishing, which owns the Chicago Tribune, the LA Times, and dozens of other papers, has suffered through a sale to a billionaire, a bankruptcy, a corporate split, newsroom turmoil, massive layoffs, and an unsolicited takeover offer. Now, as “tronc,” the company wants to be considered alongside Silicon Valley startups. (If this trend catches on, will the Boston Globe company become “hubstuff” and the New York Times “gray_lady”?) The tronc press release is a classic, because it reveals that when a media company wants to reinvent itself as a technology company, it drapes its press release in the same techno-drivel that tech companies use. Instead of meaningless media and corporate bullshit, we get meaningless, shiny Silicon Valley bullshit. It’s a transformation (you can tell because the release mentions “transform” or “transformation” six times).In the commentary below, I’ve added bold to indicate passives, meaningless superlatives, and especially, new-age jargon. I add commentary in brackets and commonsense translations below each section....
As much as I would love for the press release to die, it’s still a very effective tool when used correctly.
As Mickie Kennedy from eReleases wrote last month, Google has saved your news release. Gone are the days of keyword-stuffing to make certain you rank high in search results. Google now rewards beautiful prose again.
That said, people still make huge mistakes with their press releases. It's not just limited to PR pros, either. Top-level executives all the way down to interns get them wrong at times.
Let’s look at eight of the top news release mistakes....
New webmaster rules target core PR practices around press releases...At least, so Tom Foremski claims. Wrong Tom. You're way off base with your interpretation of new Google rules and how they will impact PR agencies.
Foremski's best known as the author of "Die press release, die", an infamous rant aimed at PR people. In his post, he misinterprets Google's directions on getting SEO slapped for black hat SEO linking practices. Then he wrongly applies his mistake, concludes somehow that it applies to press releases, and aims it squarely at his favorite target - PR people.
Sorry Tom. The worst practitioners of bad press releases are not PR agencies or legitimate PR pros. They are usually marketing departments or uninformed small business people who mistakenly think press releases are a great way to easily get "free advertising." Their news releases don't contain real news. They simply stuff releases full of marketing nonsense.
If you want proof of that, check out my blog where I've written 4 or 5 best-of-bad-press-release blog posts that have proven to be remarkably popular and entertaining.Most savvy PR people rarely use news releases. In fact, PR pros these days are usually social media leaders, skillful storytellers and adept content marketers.
Unfortunately, the same thing is happening in social media channels, annoying consumers and, instead of engaging them, pushing them away. It's time Foremski wrote the sequel to his famous anti-PR rant and called it "Die Marketing nonsense, die!"There's probably a very nice sequel for me too write as well. Its called "Die lazy journalism, die!"
There might actually be news here, but this transcendentally offal news release won’t tell you what it might be. Lack of organization, absence of clarity, nauseous, self-congratulatory, “look how great I am” tone makes this wordy train wreck fail the “who gives a *bleep*?” test. Can this new venture afford a professional writer?...
Nokia Siemens Networks would like you to know that it "puts mobile broadband and services at the heart of its strategy", and to demonstrate this they plan to fire roughly 17,000 people worldwide before the end of 2013 as part of 'an extensive... [Must see the full news release to see how bad it is! - JD]
The quest for more effective news releases continues. You wouldn’t know it by looking at this collection of 18 of the worst press release dogs. The headlines alone will make you shudder. As you’ll see, the only plausible excuse for these news release fails is “the dog ate my real press release.” But first, let’s look at some interesting press release trends....
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Sometimes, when I boil down a piece of writing, I find nuggets of truth embedded within a matrix of jargon and bullshit. But sometimes, I just find nothing but platitudes, emptiness, and evidence of incompetence. That’s the apparent communications strategy of Revolt PR.
Here’s what the press release says: Revolt PR believes it can help you reach millennials, and it has a new web site. It takes 270 words to say so. And it’s a revealing exercise in why, if you have nothing to say, you should say nothing.
It has been a tense spring in the realm of big-time newspaper consolidation. Back in April, Gannett, owner of more than 100 newspapers across the country, including the flagship USA Today, made a roughly $400 million takeover bid for the Tribune Publishing, owner of the Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, Baltimore Sun and several other titles. The intervening weeks have seen a great deal of maneuvering by Tribune Chairman Michael Ferro to rebuff the bid, an effort that advanced Thursday with the news that Gannett may be backing off its bid in light of “expectations” that Tribune shareholders would back management in a critical vote. [VIDEO: Tribune rejects Gannett’s bid again] Amid all this business, the Tribune lost its mind, in a press release. First, it renamed and rebranded itself: On June 20, we'll be tronc. Yep. tronc. pic.twitter.com/PvK8jtrQbp— Michael Zajakowski (@zajakowski) June 2, 2016 “Tronc” stands for “Tribune online content,” or, as this tronc press release renders it in smaller case: “tribune online content.” So obsessed is the new, rebranded company with the Web’s lower-case vibe that its press release starts various sentences that way. ...
Here’s how Chevrolet introduced its press release announcing the 2016 Chevrolet Cruze:
Words alone can’t describe the new 2016 Chevrolet Cruze, so to celebrate its upcoming reveal, the media advisory is being issued in emoji, the small emotionally expressive digital images and icons in electronic communication. Try and decode this news or watch for the decoder at 2 p.m. EDT on Tuesday. #ChevyGoesEmoji
It’s true, PR folks. This is what the profession has come to—brands pushing out all-emoji press releases. Here it is, if your eyes can take it. At least part of it has something to do with the new model having better gas mileage....
SEO Update: Google Says Press Releases Should Be No Follow - what is behind their decision?... There has always been some scepticism around the benefits of using press releases for SEO but those who have used them in the past could now be facing problems. Google have decided to go ahead and punish any sites using follow links in press releases, and the reason behind this- Google say that a press release is similar to an advertisement for your company and therefore should not be used for linking....
Press releases will continue to be the workhorse of public relations, even after social media has allowed businesses to engage directly with customers. Here are 10 mistakes to avoid when pitching one.
I cover technology for CNN.com and elsewhere, so I get a lot of pitch e-mails from PR folks. Some of these are very useful and well targeted. Most are rather “meh.” …And a few are utterly stupid. Here’s one such e-mail I received today, in its entirety. Name of the PR person, PR firm, and client are removed to protect the guilty... [Yep. Stupid alright! JD]
PRSA Los Angeles Chapter Board Member Denis Wolcott provides an update on a previous PRSAY blog post about the Los Angeles-area water district that was caught using a fake news site to produce positive media coverage. Credit The Los Angeles Times for not giving up on a story. As much as I hate to see a water agency that does great work remain in the newspaper’s cross hairs, and as much as I hate to see someone in public relations getting slammed in print . . . the public relations profession needs to take notice and learn from this one. And, the water district may want to ask for help from PRSA....
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Not the worst news release I've ever seen but pretty bad. A nothingburger.