#HR #RRHH Making love and making personal #branding #leadership

The problem with self-doubt is that the fear it creates stops us from living the lives we most want and changing the things we don’t.  How?  Fear keeps us living small and stuck in jobs that don’t fulfill us but feel safe.  But is there really anything safe about living a life where you feel disengaged, disillusioned or desperate to be doing something else? of course not. The truth is that who you are is not your doubts. The key to banishing them isn’t to wish them away, but to take action in their presence.

It’s easy to mislead ourselves into thinking that if we just had the success we wanted, then we’d never doubt ourselves again and ooze the confidence we see in others.  But it actually works in reverse.

People lie all the time. According to the psychologist Robert Feldman, who has spent more than four decades studying the phenomenon, we lie, on average, three times during a routine ten-minute conversation with a stranger or casual acquaintance. Hardly anyone refrains from lying altogether, and some people report lying up to twelve times within that time span.

Remember your kindergarten report card, when you were evaluated on things like your ability to follow directions, name the colors, and sing the alphabet? It also included an early assessment of a skill that would influence your success for the rest of your life: the ability to "play well with others." The criteria were pretty basic at the time: share, wait your turn, don't hit or yell, help when someone is struggling. As you grow up, many of the same basic principles apply, but situations can be much more complicated for adults to play well together and still achieve desired results.

Context and personal needs often create internal conflict when trying to weigh the needs of the few against the good of the whole. And as a leader, sometimes you have to make a conscious choice to make others unhappy. Still, with a little finesse, you can meet objectives and still all play in a happy sandbox. You may not satisfy everyone all of the time, but then working together to resolve conflicts, rather than just being pleasant all of the time, can make a team stronger.