Marriage and Family Psychotherapy
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Giving the Gift of Acceptance

Giving the Gift of Acceptance | Marriage and Family Psychotherapy |
Valentino Therapy's insight:

I believe that acceptance is the greatest gift you can give anyone.It can change lives.

And, it also makes you feel good about yourself, plus gives you a degree of unexpected peace.


As a therapist I see many parents, spouses and siblings that do not show acceptance to a family member who is suffering from anxiety, from depression, from addiction or other problems. This causes unimaginable pain. When the client starts to show some improvement, the list of what is still troublesome is quickly brought up. When a serious problem continues, they blame the sufferer, are embarrassed by them, show their dismay or disgust with words, attitudes and facial expressions. Criticism is always at the ready. When this occurs, the problem lingers longer or even gets worse, in my experience.


This is not to condone bad or dangerous behaviors. This is just about accepting the human who is suffering exactly as they are and loving them exactly as they are. They are not monsters, an embarrassment or not trying hard enough. If they could solve their eccentricities, irritating behaviors, addictions or problems on their own, most of them would have long ago.


Do you remember the person who made you feel special? Who really accepted you? I’ll wager they hold a very special place in your memories and your heart.


My grandfather was that person for me. He accepted me fully, like no one else – even when I brought home a less than stellar math grade. He told me I was as smart or smarter than everyone in my class and that we could figure out how to improve…if I wanted to. In fact, he often told me I could do anything. And I believed him. I’m absolutely persuaded that any success I’ve ever had was due to his acceptance and belief in me. The warmth of it has not faded though he’s been dead for decades.


If you didn’t have such a person, it’s not too late to find one now. And…it’s not too late to give that invaluable gift to someone else who really needs it.


I believe that you will change someone’s life if you just give them the gift of acceptance. I also believe that their psychological problems may improve or be more amenable to treatment if even one person in their lives gives them full, honest, unconditional acceptance as a valuable human being – perhaps flawed (like us all) but worthy of acceptance.


What do you have to lose? Be kind to a loved one who needs its.


Be kind to yourself. Therapy helps.

Sharon Valentino – Valentino Therapy, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (51746), MA, CHT, LMFT, Psychotherapist, Masters Counseling Psychology                                      

Stress, Anxiety, Addiction Specialist, Relationships, Depression, PTSD, Pain - Serving individuals, couples, groups and families in the SF Bay Area and online for CA residents                                                                                                                                       Web:                                                                                    Facebook: ;                                                          Blog:                                                                       Blog:

Some rays showing the CPC acceptance (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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The Biology of Kindness: How It Makes Us Happier and Healthier |

The Biology of Kindness: How It Makes Us Happier and Healthier | | Marriage and Family Psychotherapy |

There’s a reason why being kind to others is good for you — and it can now be traced to a specific nerve.


When it comes to staying healthy, both physically and mentally, studies consistently show that strong relationships are at least as important as avoiding smoking and obesity. But how does social support translate into physical benefits such as lower blood pressure, healthier weights and other physiological measures of sound health? A new study published in Psychological Science suggests that the link may follow the twisting path of the vagus nerve, which connects social contact to the positive emotions that can flow from interactions.


By Maia Szalavitz

Via Edwin Rutsch
Marilyne Kubath's curator insight, May 24, 2013 7:59 AM

I think this is true if you do something nice and decent you do feel a bit better about, but if do something a bit mean you feel a lot worse.

Abigail McNeely's comment, June 3, 2013 2:21 PM
I find it so interesting that we in the West need physical evidence to really start believing in something. Not that it's wrong to want evidence, after all that's what critical thinking is about. Thank goodness technology is now helping us catch up with folk wisdom.
Marilyne Kubath's comment, June 3, 2013 2:32 PM
I agree all governments need to relearn this.
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Are You Seeking Help With Your Stress? Check Out These Tips ...

Are You Seeking Help With Your Stress? Check Out These Tips ... | Marriage and Family Psychotherapy |
Anything that has a hand in making you nervous, frustrated, and angry can cause you to be stressed. If you start to feel some stress, do not keep thinking about it so it grows. These tips should help you lower your stress level ...
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