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8 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Toxic People

8 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Toxic People | LearningPath | Scoop.it

Life is stressful enough for most of us. Allowing a toxic individual to ravage your immediate environment can cause havoc in your mental well-being, which can lead to physical challenges.

A bad state of mind not only affects your physical well-being but makes it difficult for you to respond calmly under pressure. Ninety percent of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions, so your ability to perform effectively can be affected if you do not adopt strategies that will allow you to deal with toxic people.


Via The Learning Factor
Alicia Newton's insight:

Great article on avoiding the quicksand of toxic people. I practice many of these techniques. Boundaries; many you will have to love from a distance and it's ok. Being clear that just because people have the right to say what they want doesn't make it true about you; keep it moving. There will be positive & negative people. You get to choose who you will lend your energy to.

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Tom Wojick's curator insight, July 13, 2015 11:37 AM

People are not toxic, however their emotions may have a toxic affect on others as as to their own well-being. 

Don Wilson's curator insight, July 13, 2015 12:52 PM

Emotional Intelligence is a great skill to possess. It will truly benefit your life and everyone around you. If you are a student, parent, husband, wife, employee, employer; entrepreneur, teacher, preacher. If you are a man woman, or child, EI, can help you release damaging toxins, left by toxic people (and you too) that add undue stress, tension, and pressure; and free yourself, by improving your mental state, which in turn, increases your health and performance.

 

Other benefits include, but are not limited to; lower blood pressure and hyper-tension, blood sugar levels (diabetes), headaches, back and stomach pain. Paranoia, anxiety, and other related symptoms.

 

I am a student and practitioner of EI; and I have grown and benefited from it greatly, and so can you.

FELICIA PHILLIPS's curator insight, July 13, 2015 4:25 PM

Great Ways to Deal with Toxic People! 

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Rescooped by Alicia Newton from 21st Century Learning and Teaching
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May I Have a Word With You | #Communication #Honesty #Trust #Character #Reputation

May I Have a Word With You | #Communication #Honesty #Trust #Character #Reputation | LearningPath | Scoop.it
Communication matters. While a few words can make someone feel special, words poorly chosen have the power to kill a relationship or tarnish a reputation.

 

Learn more / En savoir plus / Mehr erfahren:

 

https://www.scoop.it/t/21st-century-learning-and-teaching/?&tag=Frank+SONNENBERG

 


Via Gust MEES
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Gust MEES's curator insight, January 4, 2018 4:32 PM
Communication matters. While a few words can make someone feel special, words poorly chosen have the power to kill a relationship or tarnish a reputation.

 

Learn more / En savoir plus / Mehr erfahren:

 

https://www.scoop.it/t/21st-century-learning-and-teaching/?&tag=Frank+SONNENBERG

 

Art Lang's comment, January 5, 2018 4:17 AM
Quote from the passage: “I’m Sorry.” When did the phrase “I’m sorry” morph into “I’m sorry, but…”? If you are sincerely sorry and want to apologize, then do so, without reservation. It takes an individual of true integrity to admit when he or she has erred. If you’re not truly sorry, why not just skip the apology and avoid compounding the problem?

Opinions: I think this is the modern generation expression of "yes, I am wrong, I should'nt have done what I did, but (even so you should'nt have done this or said this)/(I did'nt mean it this way or I did'nt want it to happen in this way)...". I feel that this individual is just trying to convey the fact that even though she or he does feel apologetic about what he or she has done, she feels that despite this, her mistakes does not negate the other party's mistake or she/he might have wanted to justify the reasons why she had done the things she had done, to avoid misunderstandingsa about the rationale of her actions. I do not feel that it compounds the problen, in fact I think that it makes a problem simpler, by clearing a misunderstanding. The problem might have been complicated earlier due to the misunderstanding, but once the misunderstanding is cleared, the problem is thus simplified.


Quote from the passage: “Please” and “Thank you.” Today’s economic downturn has spawned more cutthroat behavior with less time for courtesies.
Truth be told, with the same speed at which technology has swept the world, manners have been swept under the proverbial rug. I’m left wondering, is this rudeness the result of today’s angst or a trend of indifference that has evolved over time?
While it doesn’t take much effort to say “please” and “thank you,” some people forgo these pleasantries because they simply don’t know better, while others apparently feel these words are beneath their “pay grade.” How much effort does it take to show some gratitude for a job well done? (It’s not as if you’re being asked to solve world hunger.) The truth is, if you’re too busy to say “please” and “thank you,” don’t be surprised if others are too busy to help you in the future.


Opinions: I think this does not necessarily apply everywhere even though everybody's lifepace has quickened and this could be due to the environment in which one is working at. Also I feel that other than just looking at the surface of these issues, we should look into it and understand why it actually happens.
Firstly, I feel that it depends on the environment and the upbringing of the people. In working environments, where no common spirit are cultivated or not having a feeling of closeness with one colleagues may make certain people feel shy or not be able to relate to the people around them.
For example, if a healthy and a close-knitted working environment is cultivated, where everyone is friendly and close to each other, they will offer help in times of trouble or when one is busy due to the common spirit they share amongst themselves. And thus with this feeling of closeness people will not be as shy, as if they were strangers, to say "please" or "thank you" and the may understand each other better.
Next, a person's upbringing may also impact greatly on how they interact with other people. Regardless of economic downturn, or the quickening of life pace, if a person is not properly taught of basic courtesies and its importance since young, they may not be able to use such words to show gratitude to the people around them instead they may use other ways to thank others or they may not know how to ask a person nicely to do something, and end up commanding them. And yet the other party does not get feel that she or he has been mistreated as the person is asking of a favour without courtesy or that their help for that person had been ignored without understanding that the other party, the one without proper upbringing, had used other ways to thank that person. Thus family upbringing and teachers will have to play a huge role in cultivating a person, to ensure that that individuals will always be courteous no matter what happens, so as to ensure that people of the future generation will be able to interact and understand each other well enough such that everybody will feel respected.
I think this is the modern generation expression of "yes, I am wrong, I should'nt have done what I did, but (even so you should'nt have done this or said this)/(I did'nt mean it this way or I did'nt want it to happen in this way)...". I feel that this individual is just trying to convey the fact that even though she or he does feel apologetic about what he or she has done, she feels that despite this, her mistakes does not negate the other party's mistake or she/he might have wanted to justify the reasons why she had done the things she had done, to avoid misunderstandingsa about the rationale of her actions.


“Please” and “Thank you.” Today’s economic downturn has spawned more cutthroat behavior with less time for courtesies.

Truth be told, with the same speed at which technology has swept the world, manners have been swept under the proverbial rug. I’m left wondering, is this rudeness the result of today’s angst or a trend of indifference that has evolved over time?

While it doesn’t take much effort to say “please” and “thank you,” some people forgo these pleasantries because they simply don’t know better, while others apparently feel these words are beneath their “pay grade.” How much effort does it take to show some gratitude for a job well done? (It’s not as if you’re being asked to solve world hunger.) The truth is, if you’re too busy to say “please” and “thank you,” don’t be surprised if others are too busy to help you in the future.

I think this does not necessarily apply everywhere and I feel that other than just looking at the surface of these issues, we should look into it and understand why it actually happens.

Firstly, I feel that it depends on the environment and the upbringing of the people. In working environments, where no common spirit are cultivated or not having a feeling of closeness with one colleagues may make certain people feel shy or not be able to relate to the people around them

For example, if a healthy and a close-knitted working environment is cultivated, where everyone is friendly and close to each other, they will offer help in times of trouble or when one is busy due to the common spirit there share amongst themselves. And thus with this feeling of closeness people will not be as shy, as if they were strangers, to say "please" or "thank you."

Moreover, a person's upbringing may impact greatly on how they interact with people. Regardless of economic downturn, or the quickening of life pace, if a person is not properly taught of basic courtesies and its importance since young, they may not be able to use such words to show gratitude to the people around them instead they may use other ways to thank others or they may not know how to ask a person nicely to do something, and end up commanding them. And yet the other party does not get feel that she or he has been mistreated as the person is asking of a favour without courtesy or that their help for that person had been ignored without understanding that the other party, the one without proper upbringing, had used other ways to thank that person. Thus family upbringing and teachers will have to play a huge role in cultivating a person, to ensure that that individuals will always be courteous no matter what happens, so as to ensure that people of the future generation will feel respected and not get
hurt.
Rescooped by Alicia Newton from Business Brainpower with the Human Touch
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8 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Toxic People

8 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Toxic People | LearningPath | Scoop.it

Life is stressful enough for most of us. Allowing a toxic individual to ravage your immediate environment can cause havoc in your mental well-being, which can lead to physical challenges.

A bad state of mind not only affects your physical well-being but makes it difficult for you to respond calmly under pressure. Ninety percent of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions, so your ability to perform effectively can be affected if you do not adopt strategies that will allow you to deal with toxic people.


Via The Learning Factor
Alicia Newton's insight:

Great article on avoiding the quicksand of toxic people. I practice many of these techniques. Boundaries; many you will have to love from a distance and it's ok. Being clear that just because people have the right to say what they want doesn't make it true about you; keep it moving. There will be positive & negative people. You get to choose who you will lend your energy to.

more...
Tom Wojick's curator insight, July 13, 2015 11:37 AM

People are not toxic, however their emotions may have a toxic affect on others as as to their own well-being. 

Don Wilson's curator insight, July 13, 2015 12:52 PM

Emotional Intelligence is a great skill to possess. It will truly benefit your life and everyone around you. If you are a student, parent, husband, wife, employee, employer; entrepreneur, teacher, preacher. If you are a man woman, or child, EI, can help you release damaging toxins, left by toxic people (and you too) that add undue stress, tension, and pressure; and free yourself, by improving your mental state, which in turn, increases your health and performance.

 

Other benefits include, but are not limited to; lower blood pressure and hyper-tension, blood sugar levels (diabetes), headaches, back and stomach pain. Paranoia, anxiety, and other related symptoms.

 

I am a student and practitioner of EI; and I have grown and benefited from it greatly, and so can you.

FELICIA PHILLIPS's curator insight, July 13, 2015 4:25 PM

Great Ways to Deal with Toxic People! 

Rescooped by Alicia Newton from Diversity & Inclusion in Business
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Teaching gender equality can help tackle sexual harassment – here's how

Teaching gender equality can help tackle sexual harassment – here's how | LearningPath | Scoop.it
Schools must encourage young people to question gender norms and behaviours, and ensure that sex education goes beyond biology

Via Kasia Hein-Peters
Alicia Newton's insight:
Many orgs. jump to sexual harassment training when addressing root causes matter more. Gender equality is unfortunately not our history but it can indeed be our future.
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Rescooped by Alicia Newton from LeadershipABC
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Leaders Who Hunt as a Pack

Leaders Who Hunt as a Pack | LearningPath | Scoop.it

Wolves hunt as a pack and are brilliant team players. Once they pick up the scent they are strategic, purposeful and persistent. Quite frightening if you are the quarry but good news if you are interested in the wolf pack’s success.

 

What about your leaders? Do you have individuals who vie with each other to be top dog or do you have powerful leaders who also pull together as a pack? And what do you need to achieve your business plan? If you are like most businesses you need leaders who pull together to become an unstoppable force focussed on hunting down your compelling vision. You want all the energy channelled towards your objective, not dissipated in internal fighting.

 

But most leadership development does not produce a pack. It produces pack leaders. Great for the individual ego, but counter-productive if you need leaders who hunt as a pack.

 


Via Kenneth Mikkelsen
Alicia Newton's insight:

It is always puzzling to me why some leaders embrace everyone in their organizations with a warm hello at a minimum and some will look at a person straight in the face and won't speak.  Granted we all have those time when we are preoccupied.  However, if you are a leader people are watching you.  Failure to notice, acknowledge, or embrace your team leads to disengagement. Whether we admit it or not everyone wants to be seen and heard. Good leaders understand that.  Great leaders leverage this truth.  As leaders we must ask ourselves, and align our actions with, pack mentality or top dog neurosis. 

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Don Cloud's curator insight, March 25, 2014 8:22 PM

Very interesting leadership development article ... even more so when considering military leadership development programs that do strive to produce packs of leaders at various levels.  The pro is that in a military context, the pack mentality is extremely powerful.  However, I offer that there can be a downside when there needs to be a strategic shift and "the pack" of leaders ends up resisting the necessary change.