working out widowhood
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just dwelling on it

just dwelling on it | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
 I think I said that grief is passive. It creeps over you in those famous waves, you know, whereas mourning is an active process of remembering, reliving the good and the bad, and defanging it in a...
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A time to mourn . . . 

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no sense of direction

no sense of direction | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
One of the first gifts my husband ever gave me was a silver pocket compass. Having noted very early in our relationship my stellar capacity for getting lost – and notwithstanding the fact that I w...
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My daughter and I must learn to live without her dad

My daughter and I must learn to live without her dad | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
He has been dead for 59 days. Fond memories flood back as days go by.
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A year of sorrow, a year of pain, but some joy too

A year of sorrow, a year of pain, but some joy too | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
A year of sorrow, a year of pain, but some joy too
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When bad things happen: News of my husband’s passing while I’m in Ireland

When bad things happen: News of my husband’s passing while I’m in Ireland | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
When bad things happen: News of my husband’s passing while I’m in Ireland
yvonne watterson's insight:

When is the time right to tell the world my husband died? When do I announce to everyone that I am “newly widowed”? He always said – and I never understood it or really agreed with him – that “dying is a private business,” that when the time came, he wanted to die alone, just to sleep on.

Read more: http://www.irishcentral.com/news/When-bad-things-happen-News-of-my-husbands-passing-while-Im-in-Ireland-234055641.html#ixzz2oi1aBgxq ;
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getting a grip on things - noli timere

getting a grip on things - noli timere | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
"The first grip I ever got on things Was when I learnt the art of pedalling (By hand) a bike turned upside down, and drove Its back wheel preternaturally fast." ~ from Wheels within Wheels by SEAMU...
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silent night again . . . from newtown to dunblane

silent night again . . . from newtown to dunblane | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
Cold and lifeless, the bodies of twenty little children lying where they were gunned down on the morning of December 14, 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary School - it is a crime scene that the day befo...
yvonne watterson's insight:

"This silent night, I am remembering again Dunblane and those little children who would be all grown up now with driving licenses and jobs, college degrees, marriages, mortgages, perhaps even children of their own. Like many of us, they would be planning for Christmas, hanging lights, trimming the tree, wrapping gifts, spending too much. But these will remain unfulfilled wishes for 16 children taken from us by a former Boy Scout leader with a pair of pliers, four handguns, and 700 rounds of ammunition. A man who slipped into their little school and opened fire . . . "

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newly widowed ~ instructions not included

newly widowed ~ instructions not included | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
They tell me I am in a state of shock and to take one day at a time. They tell me he is in a far better place now. Really? How could any place be better than in our dining room next month to light ...
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the woman in the yellow wallpaper & me . . .

the woman in the yellow wallpaper & me . . . | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
"Mental illness affects all of us, but there are still many myths and misconceptions about these disorders. If people are willing to talk openly about mental health, we can defeat stigma and discri...
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breaking bad & back to school . . .

breaking bad & back to school . . . | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
It is 7:30pm, it is dark, and, unbelievably, it is 108 degrees Fahrenheit (that's 42.2 degrees Centigrade for my friends back home - and no, dad, I didn't do the mental arithmetic the way you taugh...
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where's the love, actually?

where's the love, actually? | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
I stayed home with my daughter for the year after she was born. It was the best year of my life. With her attached to me in one of those Baby Bjorn baby carriers without which I would have been com...
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"on yonder hill there stands a lady . . ."

"on yonder hill there stands a lady . . ." | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
"On yonder hill there stands a ladyWho she is, I do not know.All she wants is gold and silver,All she wants is a handsome beau . . ." My breath quickens with every tentative jump over the skipping ...
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little marvels for mother's day . . .

little marvels for mother's day . . . | working out widowhood | Scoop.it

This year, I know my odds of acquiring a piece of original art by my daughter are greatly increased if her father asks her to do it and if his request coincides with a federal holiday or a special occasion on the United States calendar. Of course, she will do it is because it is Mother’s Day, and it doesn’t even bother me if it feels obligatory; the point is I want frozen in time this time in which she loves to draw,to create, at her own pace, to her own drummer, without pressure of deadlines or from critics. Admittedly, I’m slightly afraid that her passion for art might disappear as though a phase to be outgrown, a bit like the way she eventually took umbrage against pigtails in her hair and Mary Janes on her feet, or playing the piano and leaving notes for Tooth Fairy Zoe and an assortment of pixie pals that live in the trees in our backyard.

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you want to see fear? goodbye, joan rivers.

you want to see fear? goodbye, joan rivers. | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
She was quick, controversial, and compelled to cross every line – out loud. And, she made me laugh even when it …Continue reading →
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The Art of Presence

The Art of Presence | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
One family’s trauma offers valuable lessons on how to comfort those in pain.
yvonne watterson's insight:

Ever wondered to say to someone in the midst of a tragedy? 

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wheels keep turning

wheels keep turning | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
I stayed home with my daughter for the year after she was born. It was the best year of my …Continue reading »
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cups of kindness

cups of kindness | working out widowhood | Scoop.it

How do I begin to put the stuff of the past twelve months in a box and tie it up in a big red bow? Just begin. Pluck out a memory and wrap it up. Move on to the next. Handle with care. It’s the perfect day for it, New Year‘s Eve, a day designated for wrapping things up, for reminiscing and resolving; for Auld Lang Syne and kissing strangers; for holding on and letting go. For loose ends. For fireworks.

 

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The winter solstice and the turning of the year catches me off guard

The winter solstice and the turning of the year catches me off guard | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
The winter solstice and the turning of the year catches me off guard
yvonne watterson's insight:

I’m not ready for it, for days that stretch out even longer than each of the thirty-six that have passed since the day my husband died.

Read more: http://www.irishcentral.com/news/-The-winter-solstice-and-the-turning-of-the-year-catches-me-off-guard-237003471.html#ixzz2oi18WNA6 ;
Follow us: @IrishCentral on Twitter | IrishCentral on Facebook

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a slow turning: winter solstice 2013

a slow turning: winter solstice 2013 | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
It is the shortest day of the year, when the sun will pause for a moment of solstice before changing direction to move northward. From the Latin, solstitium, the apparent standing still of the sun,...
yvonne watterson's insight:

I’m not ready for it, for days that stretch out even longer than each of the thirty-six that have passed since the day my husband died. Thirty-six. I cannot bring myself to convert those days to weeks or to say it’s been over a month already. I’m not ready, not equipped to turn away from a life with him to one without him, even though the bank is clamoring for a certified copy of the death certificate so they can erase his name from the checking account and the mortgage, make things that used to be “ours” all mine . . . 

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"madiba magic" ~ once in a lifetime

"madiba magic" ~ once in a lifetime | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
Back in June, I imagine Seamus Heaney was vexed over the thought of a world without Mandela. I think we all were. I remember my husband and I talking about his charisma, the "Madiba magic" that cha...
yvonne watterson's insight:

And now, just six months later, I am writing that Nelson Mandela is gone. Seamus Heaney is gone. My husband is gone. Gone.  All three gone. Like shooting stars.

 

If I didn’t know better, I’d say it feels like the world might end.

 
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Tattoo. Taboo. Oh how we judge you . . .

Tattoo. Taboo. Oh how we judge you . . . | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
I don’t remember when tattoos became mainstream, but I was late to the party. I had never considered a tattoo for myself mainly because of its permanence, the very thing that others find appealing....
yvonne watterson's insight:

For those who would be offended by tattooed nipples or pictures of women whose breasts have been removed, I hope you are infinitely more offended by breast cancer and the numbers of lives it will continue to claim until we start having different conversations about it and admitting that awareness is simply not enough. Not in October. Not ever.

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from falconetti to gus fring & the distance in between . . .

from falconetti to gus fring & the distance in between . . . | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
The last time I was in the grip of a television series was in the 1970s, long before Netflix, box-sets of DVDs, iTunes, Amazon, and illegal downloads changed the way we watch TV. It was before Dall...
yvonne watterson's insight:

Not that anyone needs to read one more thing about Breaking Bad, but . . . 

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omagh - this is our life

omagh - this is our life | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
Fifteen years ago, I took my then baby daughter home to my lovely, tragic Northern Ireland. For my mother's sixtieth birthday, my father, my brother, and a handful of relatives who could keep a sec...
yvonne watterson's insight:

"Bear in mind these dead . . ."

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happy birthday america

happy birthday america | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
When I think of the 4th of July, I think not of fireworks in America, but those that kissed the sky over Slane Castle in Ireland after a concert. My first concert at Slane was in 1982 for what was ...
yvonne watterson's insight:

Jarring to consider Bruce Springsteen's voice for immigrants and then to contemplate the Bill that just passed the Senate, one that would militarize our border and make immigration as difficult as possible ...

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so who owns your genes, Angelina?

so who owns your genes, Angelina? | working out widowhood | Scoop.it
Actress Angelina Jolie has made very public her personal and medical choice to undergo a preventive double mastectomy.  Untold millions now know about  her family history of cancer, the disease whi...
yvonne watterson's insight:

What Angelina Jolie didn’t tell you is that she and I have something in common. Each of us is intimately involved with Myriad Genetics. I belong to Myriad Genetics. This corporation, in fact, owns me. When the staff of the USPTO approved Myriad’s application for a patent on on the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, they essentially allowed Myriad Genetics to claim ownership of, and exclusive rights to, my genetic material – and Angelina Jolie’s. 

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