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Cynicism isn't as smart as we think it is —

Cynicism isn't as smart as we think it is — | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
In the fourth century BC, cynics wanted to live like dogs. The Cynics were Greek philosophers who rejected conventional ideas about money, power, and shelter. Instead, they advocated living simply, aligned with nature.
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The Secrets to Living a Longer, Happier and More Productive Life

The Secrets to Living a Longer, Happier and More Productive Life | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Never worry. If you're worrying, you're not working.
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Coping with the Loss of a Grandchild

Coping with the Loss of a Grandchild | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Grieving the death of a loved one is quite possibly the most difficult experience we can endure. The feelings of disbelief, helplessness and sorrow that often accompany grief are a natural and normal response to the death of someone we love. While the death of anyone you are close to will be difficult, for grandparents coping with the loss of a grandchild, navigating the dark and unique road of grief may be decidedly more complex. Grandparents who are grieving the death of a grandchild are often “neglected mourners,” taking a back seat to the primary mourners – the parents and siblings of the child who died. When it comes to offering empathy and support, grandparents are often forgotten or are too focused on “staying strong” for their loved ones to process their own feelings. A Grandparent’s Grief is Unique According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, renowned author, educator and grief counselor, when a grandparent experiences the death of a grandchild, they are faced with a unique grieving process, mourning the death on many levels. Wolfelt explains, “when a grandchild dies, grandparents grieve twice. They mourn the loss of the child, and they feel the pain of their own child’s suffering.” Grandparents are in the extraordinary position of playing two roles: that of mourner and protector. Dr. Wolfelt continues, “a parent’s love for a child is perhaps the strongest of all human bonds. For the parents of the child who died, the pain of grief may seem intolerable. For the grandparents, watching their own child suffer so and feeling powerless to take away the hurt can feel almost as intolerable.” Grandparents who live at a distance and did not have close or frequent contact with their grandchild might also experience additional feelings of guilt and regret, or mourn the loss of a relationship they never had the opportunity to embrace. The Search for Meaning For people coping with the death of a loved one, the search to find meaning in such a tragedy is a normal and necessary part of the grieving process. This is no different for grandparents who have lost a grandchild. Dr. Wolfelt explains that grandparents – many of whom have already lived long, rich lives – may struggle with feelings of guilt. It is not uncommon for grandparents to consider questions such as “why couldn’t it have been me, instead?” or “how could God let this happen?” Searching for meaning in the death of a grandchild may naturally lead to more fundamental considerations, including: How you will carry on living with this devastating loss in your life The meaning and purpose of life Your philosophy on life Your religious and spiritual values Talking to a trusted friend or professional – perhaps someone outside of the family unit – will allow you to express your feelings and help to relieve the heavy burden weighing on your heart. How to Support Someone Who is Coping with the Loss of a Grandchild Dr. Wolflet suggests considering the following tips when supporting a grandparent who has lost a grandchild: Avoid cliché’s: Words, particularly clichés, can be extremely painful for a grieving grandparent because they diminish the very real and very painful loss of a unique child. Be aware of holidays and other significant days: Visit the grandparent, write a note or simply give them a quick phone call during these times. Your ongoing support will be appreciated and healing. Be compassionate: Give the grandparent permission to express their feelings without fear of criticism. Don’t instruct, or set expectations about how they should respond. Never say, “I know how you feel.” You don’t. Listen with your heart: Listen attentively and try to understand. Don’t worry so much about what you will say, rather concentrate on the words that are being shared with you. Offer practical help: Preparing food and washing clothes are just a few of the practical ways of showing you care. Whether you are coping with the loss of a grandchild or supporting someone who is, always be kind and don’t assume unrealistic expectations. There is no timeline for how long grief should last. Dr. Wolfelt suggests taking a one-day-at-a-time approach. After all, “grief is not an enemy to be vanquished, but a necessity to be experienced as a result of having loved.” If you had to go through the loss of a grandchild, what tips do you have for other grandparents working through this difficult experience? Related Articles: Dealing with Grief How Seniors Can Develop a Resilience Toolkit How to Tell If It’s Depression or Normal Grief
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A Zen chef's recipe for existential success —

A Zen chef's recipe for existential success — | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
You already have the necessary ingredients—it's all about the right attitude.
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5 Hacks To Get Better Sleep And Better Performance At Work

5 Hacks To Get Better Sleep And Better Performance At Work | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
A way to combat a mind that just won’t quit is by eliciting a relaxation response.
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Is There A Difference Between Ethics And Morality In Business?

Is There A Difference Between Ethics And Morality In Business? | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Although "ethics" and "morality" both refer to doing the right thing, there are good reasons to eschew using either one. Here's why.
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Can A Book Make You Smile? Food And Travel Tips To Increase Happiness

Can A Book Make You Smile? Food And Travel Tips To Increase Happiness | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Explore ways to brighten and broaden your world.
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6 Foolproof Ways to Start Every Workday Feeling Refreshed

6 Foolproof Ways to Start Every Workday Feeling Refreshed | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Give your morning and nighttime routines a makeover.
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Generosity And Peak Performance

Generosity And Peak Performance | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
A wealth of research finds that gratitude and generosity work together to generate peak performance.
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The Science Of Giving Back: How Having A Purpose Is Good For Body And Brain

The Science Of Giving Back: How Having A Purpose Is Good For Body And Brain | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Studies show that ancient wisdom was right: Having a purpose outside yourself is deeply therapeutic.
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Why The Key To Civility Is Empathy

Why The Key To Civility Is Empathy | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
When we use our power of choice to engineer those "look-on-the-bright-side" thoughts, we create an environment that gives pushback to stress and allows us to perform and think at higher levels.
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Three Ways To Pay It Forward At The Office

Three Ways To Pay It Forward At The Office | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Make the office a happy and productive environment with these simple gestures.
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How To Talk About Your Mental Health When No One Wants To Listen

How To Talk About Your Mental Health When No One Wants To Listen | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Because you deserve to be heard.
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Use of Social Media in Healthcare Has Transformed Industry

Use of Social Media in Healthcare Has Transformed Industry | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Learn about Profiler, or the other tools within Synthesio’s Social Intelligence Suite, and how they can measure the use of social media in healthcare.
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Friday essay: what might heaven be like?

Notions of heaven have changed through the ages, from an eternity centred on God to a more secular place where loved ones will reunite.
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5 Things to Let Go of for a Healthy, Long-lasting Marriage.

5 Things to Let Go of for a Healthy, Long-lasting Marriage. | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
2018 is a big year for my husband and me: it will mark 20 years of marital bliss. Okay, not always blissful. But it’s still marital…something. Maybe marital stick-togetherness. Or marital you-got-my-back-I-got-yours-ness. Or perhaps marital at-the-end-of-the-day-I-still-want-you-around-ness. A marriage is a relationship like no other. It doesn’t have the obligation of blood ties. It doesn’t have the dependency of children or parents. Nor does it have the “easy come, easy go” policy of friendship. It’s an agreement between two people where ideally, like Salman Rushie says in his new book The Golden House, “We fall in love with each other’s strengths, but love deepens toward permanence when we fall in love with each other’s weaknesses.” Whether or not my husband and I have fallen in love with each other’s weaknesses or simply have learned how to exhale and accept them, we have discovered how to fulfill our mutual desire to stay married. We’ve made many mistakes along the way, but we both agree that letting go of these five things has helped us succeed the most: 1. The scorecard. Both my husband and I were athletes growing up, so even now, well into our 40s, we’ve maintained our competitive mindsets. This makes for a nail-biting game of Scrabble, but it doesn’t always make for a good marriage. There are many things we could, and have, turned into a competition over the years. Chores, acts of kindness, drives for the kids, failed ventures—all of these can become a strike for or against us. In any given day, week, or even year, the ticks on our individual scorecards could favor one of us over the other. We have, admittedly, shoved our scorecards in each other’s noses once in a while. But we don’t anymore. That’s because over the years, we’ve seen that things have a way of balancing out. There have been times when I’ve endured a traumatic experience, or been ill, or been so absorbed in my work I couldn’t see a pile of laundry if it bit me. During these times, household chores have fallen harder on my husband. But there have been other times when he has travelled extensively for work, or endured his own personal traumas. In these times, I have held up the mantle of household duties. In our game of Real Life, he and I are not competitors. We are on the same team. 2. Grudges. The longer a couple has been together, the more arguments they have collected (unless you’re one of those “we never argue” couples, which honestly, I don’t believe exist). The more arguments a couple has collected, the more each argument harkens back to previous arguments. “This is just like that time five years ago that you…” is a classic non-starter in an argument. It only serves to put the other person further on their heels. If this is your intention, then by all means, revive a past argument. But if your goal is to be heard and then move forward as a healthier, more communicative couple, then say R.I.P to past grudges and arguments. Whatever your partner did or didn’t do in the past, no matter how much you are reminded of it again now, that issue is not up for renewal if it has been litigated and forgiven. 3. Nostalgia. My husband and I often think back fondly to our first years together—back when we were still merely pretending at adulting. Those were some fun times, we think. A life of freedom, spontaneity, and so little real responsibility. But, as we fondly remember those Hefeweizen and pool-playing Friday nights, we forget that we were also desperately in debt, we fought often, and we wanted nothing more than for life to settle down into a stable routine. We also sometimes look back and remember each other as different people, and have, tragically, called each other on it on occasion. “You used to be more…”  is, I promise, a terrible way to start a conversation and an awful thing to hear. People aren’t meant to stay the same forever. Choose to love the person who stands in front of you now, or not. But don’t try to force your partner backward into someone who doesn’t exist anymore. 4. The impulse to turn your partner into the enemy. Life is stressful. Out in the world we often have to paste on a smile, or swallow our anger, or choke back tears. But once we’re home, we feel safe to unpack those feelings, and we often dump it right on the other person. We all have to find a way to vent, and learn to listen to each other’s grievances. It’s important to do so in a way that the other person does not feel they are to blame. In a healthy marriage, our spouse is our greatest ally. There is probably no one in our life who has our best interest at heart more than a spouse. Keep this in mind during a healthy vent. 5. The idea that “the other half” will complete us. Personally, I’ve never swallowed the idea of a “soulmate” or the “he completes me” bullsh*t. My husband and I are not a perfect match by any means. He loves loud music, large social events, and stupid-funny movies. I prefer silence, reading, and clever-funny movies. Yes, there are many cups we fill for each other. As for the other cups, we have learned to get those filled from others, or other things, or ourselves. The first time we learned this hard truth for ourselves was about 13 years ago. I can see now that I was going through an existential crisis. Given that my husband was raised on both a Lutheran and a Catholic diet, I naturally turned to him as a spiritual mentor and guide. But his religious upbringing had soured him on religion, rather than turn him into a spokesperson of it. I pushed for dialogue; he shut the door. I pushed harder; he put up a soundproof wall. Finally I threatened, “Fine. I’m going to find a spiritual mentor to help me instead.” He said, “Hallelujah.” Fast forward to today: I have my philosophical friends and book lovers to lean on. He trades inside jokes and trivia with his bandmates. We have each learned how to feed our individual souls through a variety of people and outside hobbies. Our ability to let go of these things is what has brought us from “I do” to “I still do.” Now, when we come together, we don’t need much else from each other than our company. That’s what we enjoyed about each other when we first met, and that’s what we will toast to on our 20th anniversary. ~ ~ Author: Keri Mangis Image: Author’s own Editor: Callie Rushton Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron
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Choosing Conscious Living Celebrating Your Uniqueness

Choosing Conscious Living Celebrating Your Uniqueness | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
« In search of the highest | Home | Choosing Conscious Living Celebrating Your Uniqueness Conscious Creativity Tools Self-Development, Conscious Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Development, Alchemy of Love, Mindfulness Articles, Conscious Mind, Mindfulness, Online Life Coaching, Personality Tests, meditation Choosing Conscious Living Celebrating your Uniqueness Mindfulness as a Life-Style Choosing mindfulness as a life-style is a difficult task that requires a strong commitment to one's Higher Self. Many small "ego-s" will figth it, with many small excuses. The exercise we wish to share with all that would like to do Mindfulness Training and choose mindfulness as a life-style is to start the individual spiritual diary with a support group exercise. Support Group Exercise Chose 3 people to support you within your decision. The alcoholic or drug addicts support groups do this when they attempt to break the destructive habits. One of the techniques is that each member choses three people who will give the mental and emotional support to the addict who wishes to break the patterns. Choosing a life enriching habit, like not-drinking alcohol, or not smoking joints, or leaving your cigarettes or your medication, choosing a healthy life-style, choosing to be more peaceful, or choosing not to fight with your kids, chose 3 people who will know that they are your support within this battle against a destructive behavior. The three people will remind you of why you have decided to be a non-compromising actor on the stage of breaking habits and personal improvement. The three people will voice your-own opinion, why did you decide to do it, and why to believe in your choices. Call them whenever you need the support, and ask them to supply you with articles, inspirations, quotes, life-stories that encourage your inner quest. It is better if the people you've chosen already master the habits that you wish to conquer. A mother took her child to Gandhi, one of these sunny mornings when she has decided to speak to him about all sort of self-development matters. She also asked could he help the child stop eating sweets, Gandhi replyed "come back in a month". Some week laters the mother returned going through the same long journey to visit Gandhi. Sitting in front of him, he looked at her son and said: "Please stop eating sweets", and the child replyed "OK". Mum was a bit worried about this hasty conclusion to her worry and asked Gandhi "Why didn't you say this to my child last time we visited." "I did not at that time have enough power to do so, because I was myself eating sweets, when you last visited. Now, I have been without sweets for a month and can ask your child to follow me within this example." A Positive Replacement Exercise The hard fact of our emotional well-being is that if we are in love with someone who has life enriching habits, we will follow these habits much easier. Surrounding ourself with "beauty", "peace", "life", "nature", "health" will all help. For the "mindfulness life-style" to enter our worlds, do introduce a positive replacement to the destructive habit, a creative impulse you have never experienced before (e.g. painting, pottery or learning a foreign language), or a loving focus (e.g. gardening or walking a dog), or love for a human or celestial being (devotion is healing). The beauty of this replacement will give you further strength and energy in your drive to be a healthier / happier / better human being. Conscious Creativity Goals In our wish to explore 3 levels: individual, collective and a large project scale level while working on new approaches that are not chained with stereotypes, we defined our goals as: At an individual level we wish to explore the 24 hours schedule that will empower creative being and divine flow. At a collective level we wish to empower education that is free of heavy conditioning and explores divergent thinking. On a large project scale we wish to empower each individual to share the best of its potentials with the group without inhibitions of a hierarchy, stress of competition, and a constant attachment to the stereotypical behavior. Creative Uniqueness Meditation While having these goals in mind, I will share with you an exercise that lasts around 15min. It is a meditation, a contemplation on accepting own Being / Creative Uniqueness / Soul’s Whisper. Sitting still for a long moment, with your back straight and no thoughts, focus on breathing. Consciously deeply relax, feeling your stomach, your face and your shoulders relax. Let this body focus be your reality for a number of minutes. Allow your mind to lead you out of the body, up above your head, up above your room, above your house, above the tree within your gardens, above your town, above the Earth. Stay there for a moment focusing only on breath in and out. Now Breath in Self that is Pure, Universal, de-touched of many “I”s. Feel what “I” without many egos and roles is, I that is Consciousness, I that is Spirit materialized within your soul. Breathing out, concepts, conditioning, subconscious gibberish, egos with many Stereotypes, all that is not mine, all that belongs to other’s fears. Let them get out of your conscious and subconscious mind, cleanse yourself, feel them leaving your astral body as a color. This is a meditation that you do before attempting any creative work, if you need to come back to Self or increase the power of your Soul’s voice. How to meditate?         Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus.
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The Jump Ahead: Staying In The Here And Now

The Jump Ahead: Staying In The Here And Now | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Have you ever been troubled by your own tendency to jump ahead of your own life, to be so constantly obsessed with the future that you lose touch with the present?
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Looking for Great Leadership? These 10 Companies Are Leading the Way.

Looking for Great Leadership? These 10 Companies Are Leading the Way. | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
These companies are going beyond business as usual.
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Trust Me! Why You Need To Understand Trust, And How To Earn It

Trust Me! Why You Need To Understand Trust, And How To Earn It | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
But what is trust? The dictionary defines trust as the "Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing." Fortunately, there are several ways to earn this powerful and renewable human resource and to tell whether others are trustworthy.
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How To Reenergize And Revitalize Yourself When You Hit The Wall

How To Reenergize And Revitalize Yourself When You Hit The Wall | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
You don't have to master the new behavior instantaneously; however, you do want to feel that your initial efforts are paying off.
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10 Ways You Can Lower Work Stress Levels

10 Ways You Can Lower Work Stress Levels | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Some 44% of professionals often lose sleep over work, according to new research. Here are a few strategies for nixing professional stress and sleeping more soundly.
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Instructions For Living A Conscious, Fulfilling Life

Instructions For Living A Conscious, Fulfilling Life | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Talk less, listen more. Focus on your breathing. Express gratitude. Repeat.
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The Virtue of Radical Honesty - The New York Times

The Virtue of Radical Honesty - The New York Times | Spiritual Sustenance | Scoop.it
Steven Pinker is what we need now.
Charles Morris's insight:

Insightful.  Dishonesty is rampant in our divorce courts.  That dishonesty never helps a party's cause.

Free Consultation.  Call Today 626-914-2791

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