South African Dating
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Dating Advice and Tips for Savvy Singles in South Africa
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Meet Joburg

Meet Joburg | South African Dating | Scoop.it
The newly launched Meet Joburg, an exclusive platform for singletons to meet, mingle and party with like-minded individuals, is set to redefine the South African dating scene. Hosting comfortable, fun and über stylish social events, Meet Joburg members will not only discover a new-found appreciation for the city, but for its people as well.

“There is a myriad of career-driven, successful and single Joburgers out there who simply have no idea of where to meet like-minded people. Meet Joburg significantly simplifies this predicament by grouping singles with similar backgrounds, interests, values and preferences and creating tailor-made, relaxed social gatherings to suit each group’s needs. Think of it as a night out on the town with a group of people that have been hand-picked to suit your preferences,” explains Suzette Hogewind, director of Meet Joburg.

Hogewind and co-director of Meet Joburg, Matilda Loots, devised a unique and sophisticated profiling system to ensure each member is grouped successfully and invited to tailor-made events. Hogewind boasts a degree in industrial psychology, with Loots having recently completed her PHD in psychology. With more than a decade’s combined experience in psychology, Meet Joburg members are in good hands when it comes to meeting the right people.

“Included in the profiling system is a rigorous screening process which could result in an applicant’s acceptance or non-acceptance. Due to the nature of the dating game, it’s highly important, and only fair to our members, that we ensure disingenuous applicants do not make it past the first meeting. At the end of the day, Meet Joburg aims to provide a platform to cultivate meaningful relationships and we have a certain standard to uphold to ensure our members’ peace of mind,” Loots explains. Those who are shy might feel a bit more comfortable in knowing that they are welcome to bring a “wing-man” to each event to make the night that much more fun and a bit less intimidating

Visit http://www.meetjoburg.co.za or http://www.facebook.com/meetjoburg
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Laughter is the best medicine « Psychologies

Laughter is the best medicine « Psychologies | South African Dating | Scoop.it

The American comedian Jerry Seinfeld tells a story about how his father, who sold neon signs, would often take him on his rounds of the local shops. Jerry’s father loved funny stories, and never missed an opportunity to tell one to his potential clients. Often, as they got back in the truck, his father would say, ‘We may not have sold anything to that guy, but we sure had a good laugh.’

 

Laughter has a magnetic quality. As children in the playground we gravitated towards the kids who seemed to be having the most fun (children of five are said to laugh between 20 and 100 times a day).

 

As teenagers, we wanted to sit with the friends who made us laugh. And, later on, in the office canteen, we often wished we were sitting with that group hooting with laughter instead of with our taciturn colleagues or the boss we felt obliged to join.

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101 Dating Tips 4 Clueless Geeks to get a Sizzling Hot Date | Personal Development for the Book Smart

101 Dating Tips 4 Clueless Geeks to get a Sizzling Hot Date | Personal Development for the Book Smart | South African Dating | Scoop.it
Do you suck at the dating game? Well, fear not!

his article was written by Grace Tan, who has been on the receiving end of a variety of date requests which usually leaves her either flattered or baffled.Here are her tips for getting a hot date online or offline, coupled with comments by her Mr Hot Date, and some all-time useful tips.

If You’re Getting A Date Online – Your Online Profile:

The Photo

1) Upload a photo showing you at your best [a makeover studio picture, a graduation photo, you in your swanky car (make sure the car's yours!)] Avoid uploading photos of you taken 10 years’ ago, or of you at a Halloween party, or show you in any compromising position that you wouldn’t show to your mother.

2) The photo mustn’t be too small, show unflattering bits (muffin top, pockets bulging with wallet/phone/hanky!!) or have you eclipsed by some building or statue.

 

3) Do not upload a photo of you in a group shot (who’s going to be able to tell which is you?!)

 

4) Avoid shots which may just turn a potential hot date off e.g. you smoking, you stuffing yourself silly at a buffet, you standing in an awkward position. When in doubt, ask a friend for his/her opinion.

 

5) Ensure the resolution’s good but not so good that your pores or pimples are showing!

 

6) Smile naturally. As if you are smiling at a good friend, a pet or a loved one.

 

7) Avoid suggestive poses, unless you want to make it clear that you are thinking of having more than just dinner.

 

8) Ensure the photo is taken at a height level with your face or higher. Anything lower than that is unflattering and just might make you look fatter than you really are.

 

9) Tip for ladies: have one foot forward with your weight on the foot at the back. Tilt your body a little to either side to achieve a slimmer silhouette. Posing with your hands on your hips ensures your arms don’t look fat/flabby.

 

10) Gentlemen, chin up, shoulders back, chest out, stomach in.

 

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Advertising vs Reality

Advertising vs Reality | South African Dating | Scoop.it
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Email Etiquette: More Than Just Manners | Visual.ly

Email Etiquette: More Than Just Manners | Visual.ly | South African Dating | Scoop.it
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How to Cook for Your Girlfriend

How to Cook for Your Girlfriend | South African Dating | Scoop.it

Cooking for your girlfriend doesn't just end at preparing the meal and serving it near the fireplace. There's an art to pleasing a woman because believe it or not, women are extremely romantic at heart. Even the smallest gesture by the man she loves and adores can make her day. And trust me when I say this, anything and everything that you do for her, she's never going to forget it (even the bad day). So if you have planned on cooking her a fabulous meal, think about what all you can, should, and will do for her, and then think some more. It has to be absolutely fantastic and completely different from who you are as a person. Many a times, women complain about their guy not being more romantic or spontaneous enough.

An intimate dinner for two makes up for everything, and is a wonderful way to show her how much she means to you. But cooking a meal doesn't just end at what the menu is going to look like. There's a lot involved in preparing a meal for the love in your life. And to help you get started, we have put together this article on how to cook for your girlfriend. In this article, you will see what all is required to make the dinner the best one, yet.

A Way to a Woman's Heart... Cooking

You don't need to be Gordon Ramsey or Jaime Oliver to please your woman with your culinary skills. As a woman myself, I can vouch for the fact that when a man cooks for us, we don't necessarily stress on either taste or presentation. The more attractive, romantic, and unbelievable factor is that you cooked, for us. However, you'll definitely get bonus points if the food did taste mouthwatering. Anyways, when you follow the recipe to the T, you can easily get the flavors mixing well.

 Choice of Cuisine

❖ First things first; what is her choice of cuisine. Is she a fan of spicy foods? Then cook her a romantic Mexican food comprised of fajitas, quesadillas, nachos, or even enchiladas. On the other hand, you could go with other ethnic foods like Moroccan, Indian, Mediterranean, Chinese, or even Thai. The point is, this dinner is specially for her. So the menu should center that ideology.

❖ Once the cuisine is finalized, move on to the actual dishes you're planning to cook. Is she a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian? Does she love seafood? Research on the various dinner recipes for her and see which ones are more easier for you to make. Don't select complicated recipes or else you'll end up making a mistake.

❖ How many courses of meal are you serving? Depending on that, get a pen and paper to write down the list of ingredients you'll need. If there are certain ingredients that might be difficult to locate/purchase, skip the recipe and replace it with something else. You don't want to spend time searching for ingredients. It is better that you save enough energy for cooking.

❖ Next, you will require drinks to wash down the food with, right? So... what are her preferences? Does she love wine? Or she leans more towards a martini? If cocktails are her stress busters, then that's what is on the drinks menu. Help her relax, unwind, and excited for the dinner which will follow.

 Don't Forget the Dessert

❖ After the main course is finalized, the dessert menu needs to be decided. If she likes dessert then you've got your work cut out. Desserts are one thing you can't or shouldn't go wrong with. They have to taste, look, and feel just right. So be very careful while planning the desserts.

❖ Are you going to make one or two desserts? I'd say go with two because if there are any errors or issues with one dessert, at least you have something to serve. Of course, you should go with what she loves for dessert while making the decision.

❖ This is my suggestion for desserts. Keep the first (main) dessert something extravagant like tiramisu or delicious chocolate lava cake. As for the second dessert (which you have in front of the fireplace or out on the porch, underneath the moonlight), go with either her favorite cake or pie. If both desserts came out excellent, she has more to love you for.

 A Romantic Ambiance

❖ Cooking doesn't end just here. You need to be careful of the settings as well. Choose a location very carefully because it only enhances the entire dinner experience.

❖ You can cook at your place and put candles and rose petals all around the dinning room/table. Hands held in the glowing candlelight, delicious food that you made, and the company of the most beautiful woman in the world; can it get any better than this?!

❖ Other option can be a wide balcony or backyard where you can be more creative with the decoration. Apart from the candles and flowers, you can go with Christmas lights and a music system, playing her favorite songs. (Gosh... I got goosebumps!!)

Cooking isn't rocket science and if you put your heart and soul into it, you might just surprise yourself and the one you love. Use your imagination, put more thought in the menu, and be very careful while cooking. Follow the recipe correctly and it's going to be a piece of cake.By Sheetal Mandora
Published: 6/16/2011

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8 Rules For Dating a Single Mom

8 Rules For Dating a Single Mom | South African Dating | Scoop.it
If you are going to date a single Mom, there are seriously some things you should know... So here are 8 little tips for avoiding Mommy rampages, and dating deal breakers!
1. Do as you're told.
Or, as...
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Dating Regrets - Tonja Weimer

Dating Regrets - Tonja Weimer | South African Dating | Scoop.it

Do you have any dating regrets?  Most people do.  Here are some of the ones people often tell me about: 

 

1. Dating someone for the wrong reason
Fear of being alone is a big motivator. People would rather go out with anyone rather than not go out at all. You can get stuck on the idea that you will never find someone. And then you can get stuck … with the wrong person.

 

2. Missed opportunities
How many times did you notice someone interesting but walked away without saying anything? Chances are, they might have been interested in you too but thought you didn’t care because you didn’t speak to them. Sometimes, you have a short moment in time to seize an opportunity. You need to step up and introduce yourself. If you can get over the notion that you might be “rejected” you have nothing to lose. If the person you talk to isn’t friendly, you don’t want to be there with them anyway. Brush it off and move on. Finding your love takes a certain amount of risk. You can do it.

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Rating Attractiveness: Consensus Among Men, Not Women, Study Finds

Rating Attractiveness: Consensus Among Men, Not Women, Study Finds | South African Dating | Scoop.it

Hot or not? Men agree on the answer. Women don't. There is much more consensus among men about whom they find attractive than there is among women, according to a new study.




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RAMfest Is On Its’ Way To Joburg | The BlaBla Blog

RAMfest Is On Its’ Way To Joburg | The BlaBla Blog | South African Dating | Scoop.it
After the successful RAMfest event in Cape Town this past weekend, the show moves up the coast to Durban (tonight at the WaveHouse) and then to Johannesburg on Saturday – 12 March – at Riversands Farm in Fourways.

This is the first time that acts from the main Real Alternative Music Festival (you always wondered why it was called RAMfest, didn’t you?) event are moving out of the confines of the Festivals’ Cape home, so make the most of the opportunity to catch

Headlining the show are American outfit Alkaline Trio, Funeral For A Friend from the UK, and South Africa’s very own Van Coke Kartel and Die Antwoord.

Also scheduled for the MAIN STAGE are Not My Dog, Zebra & Giraffe, Pestroy, Dance You’re on Fire, Isochronous, Knave, Pity The Fool, Blk Jks, Desmond & The Tutu’s and The Shadowclub. Comedian John Vlismas is scheduled to host the Main Stage.

As is traditional at RAMfests past, in addition to the Main Stage a separate DANCE STAGE will provide much opportunity to get your groove on too. Featured acts and DJ’s scheduled for the Dance Stage include RudeOne, Deeziak, CutKeyLow,Tasha Baxter, Ambush, and Bittereinder.

Read more @ http://wp.me/pDLiC-1Lz
Via Greg
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Q&A Session with Meet Joburg | Meet Joburg

Hi there, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now and things were going great! Until recently she has become so clingy and I can’t do anything without her phoning me and asking me what we are doing over the weekend! I want to break-up with her, but I don’t know how to do it without breaking her heart. What should I do?
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Ten Tips to Talk About Anything with Anyone | Psychology Today

Ten Tips to Talk About Anything with Anyone | Psychology Today | South African Dating | Scoop.it
Even introverts can learn to make small talk By Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D....
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Our unreliable brains

Our unreliable brains | South African Dating | Scoop.it

During a group seminar that I was running I wanted to demonstrate some relaxation techniques. I put Sophie up on stage in front of a group of her colleagues. She had a little ring on her finger, attached to a computer, so that her heart rate was projected onto a screen.

The moment she was on stage, her heart started pounding at a furious rate as if she were in great danger. Yet there was none. During the break, I watched Christopher and Caroline light cigarettes.

 

The message on the pack was clear: ‘Smoking kills’. They were both aware of the dangers of smoking, yet they weren’t afraid. How can the brain be so misleading about the reality of the dangers we face?

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Falling In Love

Falling In Love | South African Dating | Scoop.it
Turns out she needs 6 dates to figure out if it's the real thing. Have you been jumping in too quickly?

 

If you’re wondering why the Princess Jasmine shunned Aladdin for so long, it’s just because women need a little more time to know they’re in love.

 

A recent study of 1,500 men and 1,500 women showed that 20% of guys fell in love at first sight, with nearly half of them saying they were love-drunk after just one meeting.

 

In contrast, the fairer sex was far more calculated about the business of love. Only 10% of women have fallen in love at first sight, and most didn’t determine whether it was the real thing until after six dates.

 

In the questionnaires, researchers found that men were checking off boxes such as “looks” as an important factor of being in love, whereas women were more deliberate across the board.

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Tips For Second Date Success | Online Dating

Tips For Second Date Success | Online Dating | South African Dating | Scoop.it

The first date is a very important, but it’s usually the second date the solidifies whether or not you’ll continue dating. Although you may have been nervous on your first date, the second date will give you a chance to relax and show more of yourself. Here are a few tips for second date success.

 

Follow Up

 

Prove to your date that you were paying attention on the first date! Follow up on some of your first date conversation. Bring up the upcoming work project she’s excited about, or the road trip he’s planning on taking — they’ll know you were listening, and that will be appreciated. Remembering the little things your date mentions will benefit you in the long run, so keep your ears open.

 

Be Yourself

 

It might sound cheesy, but just be yourself. You’re on the second date, so you must be doing something right! If you want to get past the second date, fifth date and beyond, you need to be yourself. Don’t be afraid to express yourself, or disagree either. If you’re feeling a great connection, say so! If your date has a differing opinion on a movie you’ve seen, don’t be afraid to give your opinion! Sometimes it’s easier to roll over and agree with everything your date says, but they’ll see right through it. You want to be your own person, too.

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Chemistry: What makes us connect with somebody?

Chemistry: What makes us connect with somebody? | South African Dating | Scoop.it

Chemistry is an elusive thing. You can chat online for weeks only to find that when you eventually meet up the atmosphere is as flat as a pancake. So, how does it work?

 

 

You may have been chatting online for weeks, have loads in common, be so excited to meet each other in person, have arranged the perfect first date but despite all this when you get there that magic spark just isn’t there, there is no chemistry between you. This can happen because of a number of real chemical reactions taking place in the body. Here we explain some of the science behind it.

 

On the first date


Your heart is beating fast, your breathing is shallow, your palms sweaty and it feels like butterflies are filling your stomach. You can’t tell whether it is fear or excitement that is overwhelming you but it’s all-consuming, obliterating all concerns about your ordinary life.

Whenever we go into any new situation our body prepares us by releasing a number of chemicals into our bloodstream. Adrenaline is a hormone which creates the ‘fight or flight’ response, it increases our heart rate, constricts blood vessels and dilates our air passages. Fight or flight might not seem like the most natural responses to a date but it describes well that feeling of being fully alert and on guard to respond to an unknown situation.

 

Initial connection


So you get there and you see your date for the first time and you hug. At this point another set of chemicals comes into play. There are called pheromones and they make us smell attractive to our partner. Pheromones are released naturally by the body and the level which you release will vary from person to person. The perfume industry has tried to cash in on this scientific fact for decades by producing perfumes that closely resemble human pheromones.

We also respond very strongly to the non-verbal messages given by our date. Researchers have noticed that when people are attracted to each other they tend to mirror one another’s body language, folding their arms at the same time, gesturing in the same way as though they are attuned to each other sometimes even speaking in unison, they may feel very familiar to each other.

 

The next stages


After a successful first date where you feel you have really connected you may be feeling the first fluttering of love. Some people swear they fell in love with their partner at first sight. There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you’re in love. Estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive area. Without them, we might never venture into the ‘real love’ arena.

 

That initial giddiness that comes when we’re first falling in love includes a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. This is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we’re releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the “pleasure chemical,” producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement.

Together these two chemicals produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention.

Researchers are using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to watch people’s brains when they look at a photograph of their object of affection what they see in those scans during that “crazed, can’t-think-of-anything-but stage of romance” — the attraction stage — is the biological drive to focus on one person. The scans showed increased blood flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine — associated with states of euphoria, craving and addiction.

 

Couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else. Another possible explanation for the intense focus and idealising view is that people in love have lower levels of serotonin and also that neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love obsess about their partner.

 

Making love last


All of these chemical responses lesson with time and it is possible to have strong chemical reaction to someone who is completely unsuitable and unavailable. Matches made on the grounds of compatibility are less likely to wane when the chemical reactions settle down and you will be left with a love that has the best possible chance of success.

 

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Good Questions to Ask a Girl

Good Questions to Ask a Girl | South African Dating | Scoop.it

You know how they say, never ask a girl her age? Well, there are more things that you should steer clear from asking her. But, being a guy, often it becomes difficult to know what to ask and when. I don't blame you. It would be unnatural for us to expect you to know what we like and what we don't like to be asked. So, I am betraying the girls (Don't worry, I'll make it up to them in a couple of days), and giving you this list of terrific questions that are safe enough to ask girls. Note them down and avoid the stupid questions to ask people.

 

Good Questions to Ask a Girl You Like


When you like a girl, you need to ask questions that will allow her to know you more. They are a little random, but they are good conversation starters.Are you currently seeing some one? - This is to know if she is single or not. If she says no, act surprised and ask her "How come? A pretty girl like you would have guys dying to be in your company."What's your zodiac sign? - After she asks, tell her yours. Also, tell her that the two signs happen to be very compatible.Who is your favorite actor? - This question goes into a description of her favorite actor. Which will tell you what is her "type".What do you do? - This is a basic question, to know if she is working or studying and where.What's your favorite color? - If she asks you why you are asking the question, tell her you are planning to buy something for her, then laugh it off as a joke, and tell her you are asking out of curiosity.

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The ‘click’ factor: attraction to others is physical [scientific study]

The ‘click’ factor: attraction to others is physical [scientific study] | South African Dating | Scoop.it

According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, one of the ‘most important modern scientific studies’ in the field of human relationships involved a sweaty T-shirt. Biologist Claus Wedekind asked female students to smell men’s clothes, which had been worn without deodorant, in order to discover whether our attraction to someone was influenced by their scent. He found that it was. We overwhelmingly prefer the smell of people who have a dissimilar immune system to our own.

 

Wedekind’s study proved what many evolutionists had been claiming for years — our attraction to others is physical. The shape of someone’s jaw, their scent, or the pitch of their voice might attract us because chemistry is all about finding a good genetic match.

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Are you more willing to give up your mobile for a week or...?

Are you more willing to give up your mobile for a week or...? | South African Dating | Scoop.it

Survey Finds One-Third of Americans More Willing to Give Up Sex Than Their Mobile Phones


TeleNav survey examines Americans' attachment to mobile phones; finds iPhone users are least willing to let go of their devices


Sunnyvale, California — August 3, 2011 — Results of a recent national survey* commissioned by TeleNav, Inc. (NASDAQ: TNAV) indicate that Americans are willing to give up some of life's greatest pleasures in order to hang on to their mobile phones. Not surprisingly, smartphone users were more attached to their devices than were feature phone users, with iPhone users leading the pack. In fact, iPhone users were more likely than their Android or BlackBerry counterparts to spend a week without their significant other, exercise or shoes—rather than go a week without their phone.

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Online Dating: Sex, love, and loneliness on the Internet.

Online Dating: Sex, love, and loneliness on the Internet. | South African Dating | Scoop.it
True Romance Dept.

Looking for Someone

In the fall of 1964, on a visit to the World’s Fair, in Queens, Lewis Altfest, a twenty-five-year-old accountant, came upon an open-air display called the Parker Pen Pavilion, where a giant computer clicked and whirred at the job of selecting foreign pen pals for curious pavilion visitors.
You filled out a questionnaire, fed it into the machine, and almost instantly received a card with the name and address of a like-minded participant in some far-flung locale—your ideal match. Altfest thought this was pretty nifty. He called up his friend Robert Ross, a programmer at I.B.M., and they began considering ways to adapt this approach to find matches closer to home.
They’d heard about some students at Harvard who’d come up with a program called Operation Match, which used a computer to find dates for people. A year later, Altfest and Ross had a prototype, which they called Project TACT, an acronym for Technical Automated Compatibility Testing—New York City’s first computer-dating service.
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Dinner for One Recipes - Easy Recipes Cooking for One

Dinner for One Recipes - Easy Recipes Cooking for One | South African Dating | Scoop.it
Forget microwave popcorn and cereal -- dinner for one is full of possibilities! Whip up a wholesome meal full of the foods you like with these easy dinner recipes for one from Martha Stewart.
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Dealing with Rejection Part 1: Handling Others' Rejecting Behavior | Psychology Today

Dealing with Rejection Part 1: Handling Others' Rejecting Behavior | Psychology Today | South African Dating | Scoop.it
How to respond when other people are rejecting or disinterested. By Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D....
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How to Ask Someone Out: Get the Timing Right

Timing is essential when meeting someone new. Bad timing is often the cause for negative responses to a date. Consider these tips when asking someone out on a date instead.
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