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The latest news, articles, videos, books, posts about Self-Empathy and Self-Compassion - CultureOfEmpathy.com
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Connecting To Your Self-Compassion - Weightless

Connecting To Your Self-Compassion - Weightless | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

When you’re eating away your emotions and you start feeling the heaviness of shame, the last thing you probably want to do is connect to your self-compassion. The last thing you probably want to do is be kinder to yourself or comfort yourself.

 

When I’d stuff my feelings with food, I felt confused, out of control, embarrassed and alone. And it’s funny that it’s in those very moments that I needed to crank up the self-compassion — but it seemed so hard. And, honestly, it didn’t even cross my mind.

 

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Self-Compassion Expert Chris Germer on Lessons Learned From the Dalai Lama

Self-Compassion Expert Chris Germer on Lessons Learned From the Dalai Lama | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Germer's got a new book out, Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy, which he co-edited with psychologist Ronald Siegel. This edited anthology was inspired by none other than the Dalai Lama and Harvard's 2009 Meditation and Psychotherapy Conference, which His Holiness graced on Germer and Siegel's invitation. In this densely rich volume, mindfulness-oriented therapists, meditation scholars and scientists aim to answer an ambitious question: How can therapists cultivate wisdom and compassion in themselves and their clients?

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Self-Compassion: The Key to Success

Self-Compassion: The Key to Success | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Most people are familiar with self-esteem, but the idea of self-compassion is still in its infancy. This is somewhat surprising given that modern society considers compassion a virtue. If you doubt this, consider the Dalai Lama, who currently has just over 3.2 million Facebook followers! People who exhibit high levels of self-compassion are, in the most basic sense, nice to themselves.

 

Many believe self-compassion leads to people taking less responsibility for their actions, but according to a study at Duke University, exactly the opposite is true! People who have this quality work hard purely because it makes them feel good, not to meet someone else’s expectations.

 

by Miranda Bauer

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The courage to be (self) compassionate

The courage to be (self) compassionate | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
What's hard about giving yourself a little self-compassion? Here are 4 mythical beliefs that get in your way.

 

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change. ~ Carl Rogers

I was privileged to spend a day last week at a seminar led by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneering researcher in the area of self-compassion.

During an exercise early in the day that taught us how to feel compassion for another person and compassion for oneself, I was surprised to notice how hard it was to be compassionate toward myself while feeling compassion toward my partner in the exercise was quite easy.

 

by Bobbi Emel

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WorkShop! The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience

WorkShop!  The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience
 

March 23, 2012, 9 am-4:30 pm
International House, UC Berkeley Campus

This day-long seminar and live webcast will offer strategies for cultivating self-compassion and reducing stress, led by Dr. Kristin Neff. 

 

Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned by anyone. It involves generating feelings of kindness and care toward ourselves as imperfect human beings, and learning to be present with greater ease during life’s inevitable struggles. It is an antidote to harsh self-criticism, making us feel connected to others when we suffer, rather than feeling isolated and alienated. Unlike self-esteem, the good feelings of self-compassion do not depend on being special and better than other people; instead, they come from caring about ourselves and embracing our commonalities.

 

This event will be webcast live! Attend in-person or online.

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Self-Love and Compassion Are Good For You - Finally Some Research!

Self-Love and Compassion Are Good For You - Finally Some Research! | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Self-love and compassion are things I have intermittently blogged about for three years now. I typically include the disclaimer that I'm not referring to "narcissism" or "conceit" because, believe it or not, that's the way it is defined in some reference dictionaries! Finally, some research for the skeptics who are unwittingly killing themselves with all of their self-rejection and "logic-only" thinking.

 

I personally discovered that self-compassion is radically life changing. I used to have a negative inner critic who worked overtime. I was the Queen of "Not Enoughness," as I call it. No matter how great I looked, how much I accomplished, or even if I seemed to leap over tall buildings in a single bound, it was simply not enough. '

 

By Valencia Ray, MD

 

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The Three Components of Self-Compassion - The Emotionally Sensitive Person

The Three Components of Self-Compassion - The Emotionally Sensitive Person | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Kristin Neff has identified three components of self-compassion. The benefits of self-compassion include improved resiliency, better emotional balance and better coping skills.   

 

Self-Compassion is a form of acceptance, one of the four options you have no matter what the problem you face (see previous post, No Matter What the Problem, There Are Only Four Things You Can Do). Kristin Neff in her book Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, lists three core components of Self-Compassion: self-kindness, recognition of our common humanity, and mindfulness. These components are all helpful for the emotionally sensitive person.

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Just One Minute - Have Compassion For Yourself

In these one minute videos, Rick Hanson speaks personally about each of the 52 practices that appear in this book - Just One Thing.

 

This one minute video is on how to have compassion for yourself.

 

The practices -- simple actions inside your mind -- light up neural networks of deep well-being and resilience. And because "neurons that fire together, wire together," each time you do a practice, it strengthens key neural circuits like building a muscle in the gym.

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Self empathy is the source of Wisdom.

Self empathy is the source of Wisdom. | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Self empathy is the source of any 'wisdom' .... because from there genuine empathy flows, and it is a genuine empathy that is not an absorption of others feelings and content, but an accurate felt, sensed perception of these from a place of knowing oneself, where one is.

 

Genuine empathy accurately perceives both nurturant and non-nurturant realities, and responds as needed. The prey flees, not merely out of blind fear, but out of knowledge. It's what legs, eyes, ears, the sense of smell are all for....

 

So all 'teachers' ought to lead us back to ourselves, and do so with a deep trust that from there we will know where to go.

 

by corneilius

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The Self-Compassion Project

The Self-Compassion Project | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

An evolving one-year project to help me (and others) increase self-compassion. I plan to explore every technique, review relevant books, and maybe interview any experts who will talk to me.  

 

I’ve been reading books all afternoon on self-compassion. I compiled some quotes I really like and wrote a post for my Psychology Today blog. You can read it here.

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Stages of Self-Compassion

Stages of Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Corina Andronache writes about the three stages of self-compassion and their larger implication in creating a better world when practiced...

 

Self-compassion is a choice. With intention, we can choose to feed the nurturing and caring voice. I am choosing to believe that at all times I have been exactly where I’m supposed to be. The desire to change “what is” can become the source of my suffering. Loving what is at all times is a true sign of self-compassion. Not accepting reality as is will create a vicious cycle that will become difficult to overcome. In the end, we would have to fight not only the reality of the unfolding events, but the thoughts, feelings and emotions associated with that situation. Self-compassion requires us to learn how to be with what is in a way that we allow life to take its course and not go against the grain.

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Leisa's comment, January 1, 2012 11:20 AM
I'm a bereaved parent. My 2-year old son passed away in 2007 of a rare blood disease. I need self-compassion more than ever. The hard part of what you are saying is discerning between allowing life to take its course and when to work towards finding justice in an unjust situation. The most common language regarding a deathly ill child is "fight." "Fight the battle." "We are going to fight every step of the way and do everything we can to make our child well again." These are common statements, which for right or wrong, I denied using during my own son's 16 month illness. There are times when my husband and I think we did not do enough. For the most part, we believe we did very well regarding our son. However, it has left us with "The desire to change 'what is'..." and the suffering part becomes a lack of progress in finding justice for dying children.
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Self-Compassion: The Key to Psychological Well-Being by Kristin Neff, PhD and Cassandra Vieten, PhD

Self-Compassion: The Key to Psychological Well-Being by Kristin Neff, PhD and Cassandra Vieten, PhD | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

 

Vieten: I want to start with a basic question, but since you’ve studied it now for over a decade, it may not be as simple as it seems on the surface: What exactly is self-compassion?

 

Neff: It is a deep question. I didn’t come up with it; it’s a 2500-year-old idea. I first learned about self-compassion by learning about Buddhism. The thing that struck me in Buddhism is that they talk about compassion for self just as much as compassion for others. When I decided I wanted to do research on the topic, I read every Buddhist book I could get my hands on to try to get an understanding of what this practice of compassion is, and I came up with my three-component model to define self-compassion.

 

Basically, self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, caring, nurturance, and concern, rather than being harshly judgmental or indifferent to your suffering.

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The Difference Between Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem.

The Difference Between Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem. | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
The other night I went to my first Compassionate Practice group meeting. Before that night I never made a distinction between self-compassion and self-esteem; I had an inkling that they were profoundly different, I just didn’t know how.

 

On the surface the two concepts seem similar, but differ in a few primarily different ways.

Self-esteem is often a measurement (self-evaluation) of our self-worth; our perceived value; and on a scale of 1 to 10, how much we like ourselves....

 

Self-compassion is available to everyone; it is not dependent on external circumstances, and therefore remains steady through all of life’s ups and downs.

 

by Grace Bezanson

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The Four Myths of Self Compassion

The Four Myths of Self Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others. – Dalai Lama

 

We are conditioned to put the other person ahead of ourselves, sometimes to the detriment of our own ability to be kind to ourselves. Why is this?

 

Dr. Kristin Neff was teaching a workshop I recently attended about self-compassion. She had the workshop participants get into pairs and sit facing our partners. Then, one person closed her eyes while the other looked at her and silently repeated a loving-kindness meditation Dr. Neff shared with us.

I didn’t know the person I was paired with. But, as I looked at her and silently directed the meditation toward her, I felt waves of compassion and kindness and even love for her.

 

By Bobbi Emel

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Self-Compassion | Loving Community

Self-Compassion | Loving Community | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

I asked my teacher Robert Gonzales whether he thought the written word could convey the kind of compassion he teaches. He thought that books or blogs could help the understanding of compassion, but that only the living energy of compassion could really transmit it. He is a wonderfully compassionate person himself and a good role model.

 

I have definitely received some amazing guidance from books. But my best teacher has been my interactions with people where I get to practice compassion. What is difficult to convey in books is the feeling one has in one’s body when one is in a compassionate state.

 

by Kristen

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Self-Compassion, a Better Motivator than Self-Criticism

Self-Compassion, a Better Motivator than Self-Criticism | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Self-compassion matters as the new science of positive psychology illuminates. Caring and nurturing yourself is not self-indulgent, it's smart.

 

In a nation founded on the incredibly dogged and persistent work ethic, laziness is seriously frowned upon. Accepting our mistakes and treating ourselves with the same care and grace we show to a friend may seem quite frightening because if we do, won’t we eventually start making excuses and not giving things our all?

 

The answer is no. Research on self-compassion reveals that offering care and nurturing to ourselves when we make mistakes, embarrass ourselves, or come short of a goal we were hoping to achieve actually gives us motivation to try again. 

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Empathy for Self: Healing Inner Child.m4v

Janie Lancaster, a survivor of cumulative childhood traumas, shares her story of integrative, therapeutic self-healing through therapeutic/expressive writing...

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Self-compassion key after breakup, study says

Self-compassion key after breakup, study says | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

If you're divorced, lonely and not feeling the love on this Valentine's Day, psychologists have a tip for you:

 
Love yourself - it might even prolong your life.
University of Arizona psychologist David Sbarra, in a study published this month, said a concept known as self-compassion rises to the top of strategies that can help you deal in a healthy manner with the consequences of a break-up.
Don't confuse self-compassion with self-esteem. That latter concept contains elements of hubris and self-deception.

 

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Increasing Your Self-Compassion When You Have PTSD

Increasing Your Self-Compassion When You Have PTSD | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Many people with a PTSD are not very compassionate towards themselves. The symptoms of PTSD can be very intense and can disrupt many areas of a person's life. As a result, people with PTSD may start to experience feelings of guilt or shame, have negative thoughts about themselves, or feel worthless or like a failure. They may feel as though they aren't trying hard enough or that there is something wrong with who they are as a person because they can't "get over" their PTSD symptoms.

 

Thoughts such as these are a sign of low self-compassion, and low self-compassion can have a huge impact on recovery from PTSD.

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Try Some Self-Compassion

Try Some Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

I’m happy to have Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W., a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and author of The Self-Compassion Diet: A Step-by-Step Program to Lose Weight with Loving-Kindness back as my guest. Today she shares how to give yourself more compassion, which a lovely gift of self-love.

 

Here’s what she has to say: 

The practice of self-compassion – treating yourself like a good friend or loved one – may be centuries-old news, but suddenly it’s new again. For the last year, not only has self-compassion been making headline news, including the #1 most emailed NY Times article last winter, it’s the topic of an increasing number of popular books.

 

 by Daylle Deanna Schwartz

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Workshop: The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience

Workshop: The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Will be webcast live!


'March 23, 2012, 9 am-4:30 pm

 

International House, UC Berkeley Campus
This day-long seminar will offer strategies for cultivating self-compassion and reducing stress in yourself and others. It will be led by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the study of self-compassion.

 

Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned by anyone. It involves generating feelings of kindness and care toward ourselves as imperfect human beings, and learning to be present with greater ease during life’s inevitable struggles...'

 

More about Kristin Neff
http://bit.ly/m2rCN2

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"Self-Compassion and Psychological Well-Being" is a GoodTherapy.org Web Conference

"Self-Compassion and Psychological Well-Being" is a GoodTherapy.org Web Conference | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

"Self-Compassion and Psychological Well-Being" is a GoodTherapy.org Web Conference presented by Dr. Kristin Neff, available for CE credits to psychologists, therapists, and mental health professionals.  

 

What is the key to psychological health? For years it was believed to be self-esteem. However, research psychologists have highlighted several downsides to the endless pursuit of self-esteem, including constant social comparisons, ego-defensiveness, narcissism, and the instability and contingency of self-worth. As suggested by research, self-compassion is a healthier way of relating to oneself. Self-compassion offers all the same benefits as self-esteem, without the same downsides. It requires that people treat themselves with kindness, like they would treat a good friend whom they cared about....

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What is Self Compassion?

What is Self Compassion? | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Self compassion is using one’s personality to direct, empower, and foster personal growth with love.

As soon as we enter into judgments like “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m too fat or too thin,” “That was a stupid thing to say,” or “I don’t deserve this,” in that moment, we have moved away from self compassion. It is not empowering and it is definitely not based in love. And if this kind of thinking persists without a consistent effort to change it, it can lead to anxiety, sleep difficulties, relationship problems, sickness and even depressive emotional states.

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Increase Your Self-Compassion

Increase Your Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Self-compassion – it’s love, care and nonjudgmental self-acceptance. It supports and regenerates our system and is among the purest of human emotions and qualities of the heart.

 

We live in a world in which we teach and ask our children to show compassion to one another, but often we fail to stress the importance of self-compassion. Too often, when it comes to extending compassion to ourselves, the message is that this is somehow selfish, selfcentered, even an extravagance, and should be avoided.

 

Why is this? Denying ourselves this gift when we fail to live up to our own or others’ expectations, become ill or falter in any of a number of other ways, deprives us of the healing power of this generous and loving emotion.

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Stressed About Final Exams? Try Self-Compassion

Stressed About Final Exams? Try Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Hendriks and her collaborator Michelle M. Wirth measured self compassion, negative affect, and cortisol in study participants who were asked to deliver a persuasive speech to a panel of trained judges. They found that participants who displayed high self-compassion experienced less negative affect than those who displayed low self-compassion.

 

The researchers also found no correlation between cortisol levels and self-compassion. In other words, high self-compassion had no negative impact on the amount of energy that participants were able to devote to the stressful task at hand.

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