Self-Empathy
9.0K views | +3 today
Follow
Self-Empathy
The latest news, articles, videos, books, posts about Self-Empathy and Self-Compassion - CultureOfEmpathy.com
Curated by Edwin Rutsch
Your new post is loading...
Your new post is loading...
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Forget Self-Esteem. Here’s What Your Kids Really Need to Succeed. Self-compassion

Forget Self-Esteem. Here’s What Your Kids Really Need to Succeed. Self-compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

You want your kid to have good self-esteem, right? Any parenting manual will tell you it’s important. Right up there with food and sunlight on the list of what kids need to be happy, healthy & successful. Right?

 

Not so much, an emerging body of research suggests. People with high self-esteem aren’t really more successful than others, though they think they are.

 

What really counts is your capacity for self-compassion

 

BY SIERRA BLACK

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

To Succeed, Forget Self-Esteem - What's important is self-compassion.

To Succeed, Forget Self-Esteem - What's important is self-compassion. | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

A growing body of research, including new studies by Berkeley's Juliana Breines and Serena Chen, suggest that self-compassion, rather than self-esteem, may be the key to unlocking your true potential for greatness.

 

Now, I know that some of you are already skeptical about a term like "self-compassion." But this is a scientific, data-driven argument — not feel-good pop psychology. So hang in there and keep an open mind.

 

by Heidi Grant Halvorson

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Storied Mind Newsletter: Self-Esteem & Self-Compassion

Storied Mind Newsletter: Self-Esteem & Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Research Contrasting Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion

 

According to a series of studies, self-compassionate people show greater personal initiative in making necessary changes in their lives, including career changes. Unlike people whose primary motive is to protect or enhance self-esteem, the self-compassionate push themselves forward because of the intrinsic interest in what they pursue, not because it will help them feel better about themselves. That's exactly the opposite of what I had always assumed.

 

Self-compassion, as Neff puts it, “is available precisely when self-esteem fails us - when we fall flat on our face, embarrass ourselves, or otherwise come in direct contact with the imperfection of life.”

 

by John Folk-Williams  

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Treating Yourself with Compassion: Self-compassion helps you overcome failure..

Treating Yourself with Compassion:  Self-compassion helps you overcome failure.. | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

At the surface, it is tempting to say that the cultures of Silicon Valley and Boston promoted a different level of fear of failure. An interesting paper in the September, 2012 issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin by Juliana Breines and Serena Chen suggests that the difference might actually lie in the self-compassion promoted by each region.

 

Self-compassion is the degree to which people treat themselves with warmth and understanding. People are not hard on themselves are treating themselves with self-compassion. At one level, this might feel similar to self-esteem, which is the degree to which people think of themselves positively. But, you can treat yourself with compassion without necessarily feeling positively toward yourself.

 

by Art Markman

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Moving from Self Criticism to Self Compassion

Moving from Self Criticism to Self Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Do you use self criticism to motivate yourself? Many people do, but self criticism is damaging. Self compassion boosts your productivity & wellbeing.

 

Many people have a strong inner critic, the internal voice that points out every perceived flaw or mistake we make. Other people’s errors may seem like part of being human, while our own missteps feel unforgivable, shameful, or proof that we’re in some way flawed. Do you have different rules for yourself than you do for other people? Those double standards can lead us to feel compassion for other people while we treat ourselves harshly.

 

by NELLY CULLEN

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Self-Compassion for Parents: How to Alleviate Parenting Guilt with Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion for Parents: How to Alleviate Parenting Guilt with Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

The research is compelling: self-compassion (e.g., kind and understanding self-talk) increases people's self-improvement motivation and confidence. However, it’s hard for people to recognize opportunities to use self-compassion.
Here are 15 examples of common guilt, disappointment, shame, and embarrassment traps for parents. If you use self-compassion when these occur, it's likely to benefit both you and your relationship with your child...

 

1. When you’re not liking your child as a person. When you’ve lost the sense of positive bond...

 

by Alice Boyes

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Self-Compassion: An Essential Component of Yoga

Self-Compassion: An Essential Component of Yoga | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

In a modern yoga-scape littered with self-development lit and enlightenment-centric teachings, some of yoga’s finer—and more beautiful—teachings may be overlooked. Self-compassion is one such teaching that’s particularly emphasized in the Kripalu Yoga tradition (Kripalu means “compassionate, merciful” in Sanskrit), referring to a deep and affective acceptance of present moment experience as it arises, as well as recognition that one’s suffering is common to all of humanity.

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Does Self-Compassion Mean Letting Yourself Off the Hook?

Does Self-Compassion Mean Letting Yourself Off the Hook? | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Self-compassion means that we understand the myriad causes and conditions that lead us to act as we do. Compassion is wise and sees through the illusion that we have total control over our actions. Compassion acknowledges the truth that we are limited, imperfect beings who are impacted by things over which we have no control -- our genes, early family history, culture, life circumstances.

 

That's why self-compassion is understanding and accepting rather than punitive and rebuking. At the same time, compassion is intrinsically concerned with the alleviation of suffering -- our own and that of others.

 

 

by Kristin Neff

http://j.mp/N71bqZ

 

Expert Page http://bit.ly/m2rCN2

 

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Self-compassion

Self-compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

The more I live, the more I discover the importance of self-compassion. I have been pondering this for the last year or so, and for me, it’s an ever-expanding field of inquiry. There is a lot out there in the world of research as well as from the perspective of other faith traditions like Buddhism. But what does the Christian faith have to say on this topic? The journey has sparked several questions for me:

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

» Using Compassion to Cope with Anxiety

» Using Compassion to Cope with Anxiety | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

If you struggle with anxiety, you probably have a mean streak. That is, you’re probably very mean to yourself...

 

This kind of thinking often backfires and actually can boost your anxiety. At least according to Dennis D. Tirch, Ph.D, psychologist and author of The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Calm Worry, Panic and Fear.

 

You can’t insult your way to less anxiety (or any positive change). And you know what? You deserve better. Millions of people struggle with anxiety — and there’s no shame in that.

 

Self-Criticism vs. Compassionate Self-Correction

 

By Margarita Tartakovsky

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Self-Compassion Fosters Mental Health: Scientific American

Self-Compassion Fosters Mental Health: Scientific American | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Research shows how to reap the benefits of self-compassion...

 

Being kind to yourself is a surefire way to improve your mental health and reach your goals, a growing body of work suggests. Now research has revealed an easy way to boost this self-compassion—by showing kindness to others.

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Does Self-Compassion or Self-Criticism Motivate Self-Improvement?

Does Self-Compassion or Self-Criticism Motivate Self-Improvement? | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

'New research finds that forgiving yourself works best. ..

 

The good news of this study is not just that self-compassion supports self-improvement. It's how easy it can be to shift from a self-critical or self-enhancing mindset to a self-compassionate mindset. Writing for 3 minutes? That's something all of us can do when we need a little encouragement and motivation. These studies suggest that you can choose a self-compassionate point of view, and this will help you recover from setbacks and pursue positive change.'

 

By Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D....

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

The Benefits of Self-Compassion | Eating Disorders Treatment

The Benefits of Self-Compassion | Eating Disorders Treatment | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Flinders University professor Tracey Wade is embarking on a yearlong study that will explore the effect of self-compassion, or silencing an individual’s inner critic, on eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.

 

Wade, a professor in the School of Psychology, will focus on three risk factors that she’s identified as triggers for eating disorders: perfectionism, negative moods and weight control, which includes dieting. After the in-depth study, Wade will include short online exercises that teach self-compassion and mindfulness to observe whether or not they affect the risk factors that can lead to eating disorders.

 

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Embrace Humanity With Self-Compassion

Embrace Humanity With Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

One of the most important elements of self-compassion is the recognition of our shared humanity. Compassion is, by definition, relational.

 

One of the most important elements of self-compassion is the recognition of our shared humanity. Compassion is, by definition, relational. Compassion literally means "to suffer with," which implies a basic mutuality in the experience of suffering. The emotion of compassion springs from the recognition that the human experience is imperfect, that we are all fallible.

 

by Kristin Neff

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

The Surprising Motivational Power of Self-Compassion — PsyBlog

The Surprising Motivational Power of Self-Compassion — PsyBlog | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
We all make mistakes, but should you beat yourself up or show a little mercy?

 

We all have a kind of virtual policeman living inside us. Amongst other things he's the guy that helps us work towards our goals, whether personal or professional.

 

When things go wrong and we stray off the straight and narrow, he reminds us what we were supposed to be doing.

 

But what kind of policeman is he? Is he the kind with a riot shield, a baton and a bad attitude or does he offer a forgiving smile, a friendly word and a helping hand?

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Fighting Self-Compassion

Fighting Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Strange as it may seem, I find myself fighting therapeutic approaches based on self-compassion. The reasons run deep and reveal a lot about the difficulty of trying to get depression completely out of my life....

 

The problem is, to be blunt, that I don’t want to be kind or compassionate or caring to myself. I have a visceral reaction when I read about this idea. Engaging the book turns out to be like working on a chain gang. I’ll read a page, toss the thing aside in contempt, try to break away, then feel myself pulled back to read some more. Luckily, she’s on to people like me and articulates exactly what we go through:

 

by John Folk-Williams  

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Self Compassion Sticks It To The Inner Schmuck

Self Compassion Sticks It To The Inner Schmuck | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Sometimes we can be our hardest critics; we need to acknowledge our mistakes and move on.

 

There is nothing noble or productive about smacking your inner self around when you’ve made a mess of things. But a kinder, gentler approach will help you feel better and do better. Doesn’t that make sense? You wouldn’t – I hope – berate a friend who made an honest mistake. You don’t pummel your son’s psyche when he incorrectly solves the math problem. So, don’t do it to yourself.

3

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Out of Balance? Try Self-Compassion

Out of Balance? Try Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

What is self compassion?


Researcher Chris Germer said, “Whereas acceptance usually refers to what’s happening to us —accepting a feeling or a thought—self-compassion is acceptance of the person to whom it’s happening. It’s acceptance of ourselves while we’re in pain.”
The topic of self-compassion is rapidly becoming a burgeoning field in psychological research, led by Germer and University of Texas, Austin researcher Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion.

 

by Bobbi Emel,

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Kindness to Oneself.

Kindness to Oneself. | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.”

 

This is a mantra that Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, shared recently on my radio show when I asked her how can one be kind to oneself.

 

Self-Compassion is an eloquent mix of strong social science research and her own personal stories of discovering the power of self-kindness during the discovery and healing process with her son’s autism.

 

by Wendy Strgar

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Self-compassion: sorting guilt and shame

Self-compassion: sorting guilt and shame | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

“Self-compassion is an extension of Jesus’ compassion…”


In my life and work, one of the most helpful pieces of Brene Brown’s work is the way she distinguished guilt and shame.


Guilt says: I’ve done a bad thing. It is behavior focused. It is positively correlated with healthy change. Self is not threatened so it does not need to be defensive.


Shame says: I am bad. It is personhood focused. It is positively correlated with self-destructive behavior. Self is threatened so often goes into defensive survival mode.

 

By Janet Davis

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

» 5 Strategies for Self-Compassion - World of Psychology

» 5 Strategies for Self-Compassion - World of Psychology | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Many of us are all too used to bashing ourselves. And it’s not surprising. In our society, we’re taught that being hard on ourselves and ashamed of everything from our actions to our looks gets results.

 

Self-criticism is the preferred path to success. We rarely think about showing ourselves kindness. Or even if we do, we worry that doing so is selfish, complacent or arrogant.

 

But research has found that self-criticism only sabotages us and produces a variety of negative consequences.

 

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

How Self-Compassion Makes You A Better Leader

How Self-Compassion Makes You A Better Leader | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Here’s a scenario. You have a friend. Every time your friend makes a mistake, you point it out to her. You berate her for making that mistake. “I can’t believe you did that again! What a moron!” Then if she wants to try something new, you say to her, “Well, not sure you’ll really make it. Remember you failed the last hundred times you tried something new.” How long would this friend stick around?

 

Yet, do we stop to think how often we say these words to ourselves? Self-compassion is about being your own best friend, befriending who you are now, in this moment, with all your faults and failures. There is new scientific research that shows it can make you a better leader.

 

Henna Inam

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by Edwin Rutsch
Scoop.it!

Have Compassion For Your Inner Critic: The Reasons Why We Beat Our Selves Up

Have Compassion For Your Inner Critic: The Reasons Why We Beat Our Selves Up | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

We know how much it hurts. "I'm an idiot!" "I'm disgusting." "No one will ever love me." "What a lame-ass."

 

So why do we do it?

 

As soon as we ask ourselves this question, we often just pile on more self-criticism. "I'm such a bitch, even to myself." "That's why I'm such a loser, I'm always putting myself down."

Don't beat yourself up for beating yourself up in the vain hope that somehow it will help you stop beating yourself up. Instead, take a step back, and give your inner critic some slack. In its ineffective, counterproductive way, your inner critic is actually trying to keep you safe.

 

Kristin Neff

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Study: Self-Compassion Increases Self-Improvement Motivation

Study: Self-Compassion Increases Self-Improvement Motivation | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Can treating oneself with compassion after making a mistake increase self-improvement motivation? In four experiments, the authors examined the hypothesis that self-compassion motivates people to improve personal weaknesses, moral transgressions, and test performance. Participants in a self-compassion condition, compared to a self-esteem control condition and either no intervention or a positive distraction control condition, expressed greater incremental beliefs about a personal weakness approach to personal failure may make people more motivated to improve themselves.

 

Juliana G. Breines 
Serena Chen 

 

img http://bit.ly/yYTzGr
 

 

more...
No comment yet.
Rescooped by Edwin Rutsch from Empathy Magazine
Scoop.it!

Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff on The Secret Lives of Men

Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff on The Secret Lives of Men | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

On a recent episode of The Secret Lives of Men, Dr. Chris Blazina spoke with Dr. Kristin Neff about her research and her recent book, Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind. Here is the publishers ad-copy for the book:


...I think this topic is especially relevant for men. We are raised to be competitive, to be self-critical and aim for perfection, and to be intolerant of anything less than greatness. No wonder so many men secretly feel like failures or frauds.

 

audio interview 
http://blogtalkradio.com/thesecretlivesofmen/2012/05/22/the-secret-lives-of-men

 

more...
No comment yet.