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WorkShop! The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience

WorkShop!  The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

The Science of a Meaningful Life: Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience
 

March 23, 2012, 9 am-4:30 pm
International House, UC Berkeley Campus

This day-long seminar and live webcast will offer strategies for cultivating self-compassion and reducing stress, led by Dr. Kristin Neff. 

 

Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned by anyone. It involves generating feelings of kindness and care toward ourselves as imperfect human beings, and learning to be present with greater ease during life’s inevitable struggles. It is an antidote to harsh self-criticism, making us feel connected to others when we suffer, rather than feeling isolated and alienated. Unlike self-esteem, the good feelings of self-compassion do not depend on being special and better than other people; instead, they come from caring about ourselves and embracing our commonalities.

 

This event will be webcast live! Attend in-person or online.

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Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page

Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Subscribe to our Emailed Newsletter

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Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page

Visit the individual magazines specifically for empathy and;

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norma neiva's comment, June 6, 2011 7:28 PM
Muito obrigada por tudo que li e ouvi. A paz!! vou apreender pra mim e a outros.
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TED Talk. Self-Compassion vs Self-esteem – Dr Kristin Neff.

TED Talk. Self-Compassion vs Self-esteem – Dr Kristin Neff. | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
In contrast to self-esteem, self-compassion is not based on self-evaluations.

People feel compassion for themselves because all human beings deserve compassion and understanding, not because they possess some particular set of traits (pretty, smart, talented, and so on).

This means that with self-compassion, you don’t have to feel better than others to feel good about yourself.
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(Self-Compassion) Are Fears Of Self-Compassion Holding You Back?

(Self-Compassion) Are Fears Of Self-Compassion Holding You Back? | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Research suggests that fears of self-compassion can get in the way of growth. Developing compassion can help to facilitate change. Read a comprehensive overview here.

 

Self-compassion is a core aspect of self-care, and goes along with being able to be kind and curious toward oneself, rather than harsh and blaming. Arguably, feeling kind and nurturing toward oneself should be the rule and not the exception, gentle yet firm while holding oneself responsible, self-engaged and positive while self-governing, and generally upbeat and interested in learning and growth when life presents challenges, and relaxed and receptive when things are going well.

 

Compassion for others is essential for creating a social environment where warmth and collaboration set the stage for constructive navigation of conflict, and more enjoyable time together when things are going smoothly. Whether related to personal growth in general, or as a factor which can impede or facilitate psychotherapy in particular, compassion for others and oneself, and fears of compassion, are important to identify and work on in order to enjoy solid results.

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The Science of Self-Compassion***

The Science of Self-Compassion*** | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
The Science of Self-Compassion. Looking for some science on self-compassion?
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(Empathic Leadership) Forbes: Become A Better Leader Through Self-Empathy

(Empathic Leadership) Forbes: Become A Better Leader Through Self-Empathy | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

There are many different leadership styles and qualities that make a good leader, but people tend to be most attracted to and influenced by leaders who are empathetic.

 

Start With Self-Empathy

How we feel about and relate to ourselves directly impacts how we relate to the world and interact with others. We tend to place the blame for difficult feelings, such as anger or jealousy, on the actions of other people or our surroundings. Most people assume that our feelings are the result of other people or external circumstances. However, our feelings actually arise based on whether we perceive our needs as being met.

 

When we perceive our basic human needs, including our need to be acknowledged and respected, as being addressed, we're content. When we perceive that they aren't being met, or that they are being under-addressed, that's when feelings of frustration, anger, sadness and jealousy emerge.

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I Matter Too: Self-Compassion in Action 

I Matter Too: Self-Compassion in Action  | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Raise your hand if you are a caregiver, either personally or professionally. Do you spend your days looking after the wellbeing of family, friends and/or clients? At the end of a long day or an even longer week, do you feel “all gived out”?

 

As a therapist and consummate caregiver in most of my relationships, I would often admit that my compassion meter was running a quart low. I would find myself feeling impatient and annoyed with the drama that swirled around me. That’s when I knew I needed to examine the areas in my life in which I was neglecting that which I was showering on others.

About Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW

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When Self-Compassion Becomes Self-Abuse 

When Self-Compassion Becomes Self-Abuse  | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
It might have occurred to you by now that the sorts of emotions described by Neff and other pioneers of self-compassion are not exactly universal. Listening to hours of these talks, and reading hundreds of pages of journal articles and books about self-compassion,

 

I sometimes found myself wondering whether any of these people has ever talked to the checkout lady at Walmart (assuming they've been to their local Walmart or live within 20 minutes of one).

 

Most Americans don't have time for existential crises occasioned by a loss of faith in karma, as Neff tells us she experienced towards the end of her Ph.D. at Berkeley, just before her divorce from a man who was "extremely skeptical" of her commitment to various New Age practices. Indeed, many of us outside Silicon Valley can't "Put this card down and do something kind" for ourselves because we are too broke. 

 

Matthew Walther 

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Empathy and Self-Compassion: Be Good to Yourself When Nobody Else Will

Empathy and Self-Compassion: Be Good to Yourself When Nobody Else Will | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Usually confused with compassion, empathy is the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions, or more simply stated, it is the ability to share someone else's feelings. Whereas compassion might lean more toward action to alleviate someone's pain (like sending food when someone gets sick), empathy means you make attempts to understand a person's perspectives, decisions, and motivations for their actions.

Empathy has been called a vicarious experience—if your friend is feeling betrayed, you too will experience a feeling of betrayal in your body; if they are elated, you too will feel happy. Feeling empathy is to tune into another person's emotions.

 

Written by Jill Lublin

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10 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion to Minimize Your Shame and Suffering 

10 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion to Minimize Your Shame and Suffering  | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~Kristin Neff

I consider myself to be a very compassionate person, but I’ve struggled a great deal with self-compassion. Though I’ve now been sober for over six years, back when I was drinking I made a lot of mistakes, and it’s taken me a long time to have empathy and understanding for myself.

While drinking, I did and said a lot of things that made me feel ashamed and unhappy. When I drank, one of my go-to moves was giving into a sudden, intense desire to leave (or attempt to leave) a bar or party.
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Jennifer Arnold-Levy's curator insight, February 13, 2017 6:35 PM
Self compassion can be difficult but worth it - as we become more self compassionate we can cultivate compassion for others more easily. Try these ideas to get started.  
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Why Some People Are Reluctant to Be Self-Compassionate

Why Some People Are Reluctant to Be Self-Compassionate | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
There are many reasons why people may be low in self-compassion, the practice of treating oneself with kindness during hard times. In many cases, self-compassion doesn’t come naturally because people just don’t have a lot of experience with it.

 

But in other cases, reluctance to be self-compassionate reflects an active choice, not a lack of skill. Findings from a recent study suggest that misconceptions about the motivational and social consequences of self-compassion might impact people’s willingness to practice it.

In this study, a group of college student participants filled out the trait Self-Compassion Scale, which includes statements like, “I try to be loving towards myself when I’m feeling emotional pain.” This scale was used to determine whether participants were high or low in self-compassion.

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school for lifeSelf Compassion 

It’s all too easy to be extremely tough on ourselves; we need – at points – to get better at self-compassion. Here is an exercise in how to lessen the voices of self-flagellation.
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The importance of self-compassion  

The importance of self-compassion   | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
A lot of college students sacrifice their mental and physical health in order to get the grades they want. I would know, since I’m one of them. While sleep deprivation and an empty stomach might seem like a small price to pay for a good grade, these behaviors can be detrimental in the long run.

Beside the physical consequences such as a higher risk for heart attack and slower metabolism, pushing ourselves to exhaustion can be extremely harmful to our mental health and social life. Hunger and sleep deprivation can make us irritated and cause us to lash out at our friends. Additionally, the mental and physical fatigue can cause us to burn out and fail in times of stress.
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Self-Compassion with Dr Kristin Neff - YouTube

Dr Kristin Neff shows how we can be happier - and better placed to help others - by learning to be kind and compassionate to ourselves. This talk was filmed at an Action for Happiness event in London on 26 July 2016. www.actionforhappiness.org

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(Self-Empathy) Self-Compassion vs Self-esteem – Dr Kristin Neff.

(Self-Empathy) Self-Compassion vs Self-esteem – Dr Kristin Neff. | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
In contrast to self-esteem, self-compassion is not based on self-evaluations.

People feel compassion for themselves because all human beings deserve compassion and understanding, not because they possess some particular set of traits (pretty, smart, talented, and so on).

This means that with self-compassion, you don’t have to feel better than others to feel good about yourself.
more...
No comment yet.
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Daily Self-Empathy Practice: Audio

Daily Self-Empathy Practice: Audio | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Want to expand your needs vocabulary, and build your capacity to identify needs — even when you’ve been triggered? Check out Mary’s powerful teaching on Self-Empathy.

 
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Why Self-Compassion Beats Self-Confidence

Why Self-Compassion Beats Self-Confidence | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Confidence may be overrated.

 

We live in a culture that reveres self-confidence and self-assuredness, but as it turns out, there may be a better approach to success and personal development: self-compassion. While self-confidence makes you feel better about your abilities, it can also lead you to vastly overestimate those abilities.

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Self-compassion, on the other hand, encourages you to acknowledge your flaws and limitations, allowing you to look at yourself from a more objective and realistic point of view. Both have merits, but many experts believe that self-compassion includes the advantages of self-confidence without the drawbacks.

 

By KRISTIN WONGDEC. 28, 2017

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How to Help Teens Become More Self-Compassionate

How to Help Teens Become More Self-Compassionate | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
During a self-compassion meditation, I sensed Leslie shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She breathed heavily from time to time. But when the meditation ended, her face had changed; the anger and resistance had dissolved and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

 

Through her sobs, Leslie explained that she didn’t want to be here, that all her friends were together at a football game and her mom made her come to this class. We breathed with her during her story and welcomed her tidal wave of emotions. In the course, we always allow emotions to be present, no matter how overwhelming, in an effort to help teens learn how to deal with them.

 

By KAREN BLUTH

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Narcissist? Mindfulness might not improve your empathy after all

Narcissist? Mindfulness might not improve your empathy after all | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
So another popular belief is that it helps our ability to relate to others too; if we’re no longer caught up in our pasts, futures and general mess that is our lives, that leaves space to think of other people’s emotions, surely?

According to one study, this isn’t the case at all – for narcissists, anyway.

In fact, while practicing mindfulness can help non-narcissists foster empathy with others a little bit, if you’re a narcissist it’ll lessen that ability.

Researchers at the University of Amsterdam took 161 adult volunteers and, after assessing their levels of narcissistic and autistic traits, divided them into three groups.
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Two types of empathy elicit different health effects

Two types of empathy elicit different health effects | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
When a close friend shares bad news, our instinct is to help. But putting ourselves in a friend's shoes, imagining how we would feel if we were the one suffering, may have detrimental effects on our own health, according to a new study led by the University of Pennsylvania's Anneke E. K. Buffone. She is the lead research scientist of the World Well-Being Project in the School of Arts & Sciences' Positive Psychology Center.

The research, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, finds that our bodies respond differently depending on the perspective we take when helping someone who is suffering. Stepping into the perspective of the suffering person leads to a health-threatening physiological response, while reflecting on how the suffering person might feel leads to a health-promoting response.
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Turning to Self-Compassion in Difficult Times

Turning to Self-Compassion in Difficult Times | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Two weeks ago, I had the joy of sharing my recent trip to our son’s wedding, which was made possible by the generosity of others. During my trip to Houston, I met with a friend of mine who is also a counselor, Jennifer Christian. She interviewed me for her podcast about being compassionate with ourselves as we go through difficult times. As pulmonary fibrosis patients, we sure know about going through tough times!

Jennifer asked me to share how I developed PF and how my life has changed, and about my commitment to being a good friend to myself as I walk this difficult journey. You can listen to part one of the podcast here.

Learning about self-compassion

 

by Kim Fredrickson

 

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How Self-Compassion Can Help You Thrive During Stressful Times

How Self-Compassion Can Help You Thrive During Stressful Times | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Feeling stressed out? Having self-compassion—and not being so hard on yourself—may be the key to surviving and thriving during challenging times, according to a new study. University students who reported increases in self-compassion during their first year at school also felt more energetic, optimistic, and engaged, researchers found.

The first year of college can be full of unexpected stressors. So Canadian researchers wanted to see if students’ levels of self-compassion would help them cope. They recruited 189 freshmen and had them each fill out a questionnaire, at the beginning of the school year and again five months later.

 

Feb, 09, 2017
 
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Become A Better Leader Through Self-Empathy

Become A Better Leader Through Self-Empathy | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Start With Self-Empathy

How we feel about and relate to ourselves directly impacts how we relate to the world and interact with others. We tend to place the blame for difficult feelings, such as anger or jealousy, on the actions of other people or our surroundings. Most people assume that our feelings are the result of other people or external circumstances. However, our feelings actually arise based on whether we perceive our needs as being met.

When we perceive our basic human needs, including our need to be acknowledged and respected, as being addressed, we're content. When we perceive that they aren't being met, or that they are being under-addressed, that's when feelings of frustration, anger, sadness and jealousy emerge.
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Self-compassion: a new, more evolved form of mindfulness

Self-compassion: a new, more evolved form of mindfulness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Move over mindfulness, self-compassion is here.

Mindfulness – the act of noticing your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations without judgement – has received its fair share of publicity in the last few years.

An extremely popular form of meditation thanks to apps like Headspace, it's a valuable tool, but isn't the be-all-and-end-all of self-help.

Enter self-compassion: the new, more evolved form of mindfulness.

You can think of self-compassion as applying the same emotional responses you would to a friend in need, except you apply them to yourself.

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Professor Paul Gilbert – Strengthening the Mind through The Power of Self-Compassion

Professor Paul Gilbert – Strengthening the Mind through The Power of Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Earlier this year Professor Paul Gilbert gave a talk in Lismore on strengthening the mind through the power of self-compassion.
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Family Camp Deleted Scene: Elana Demonstrates Self Empathy - YouTube

This is a deleted scene from a 35 min documentary about Family Heart Camp in Vashon Island, WA which gathers families yearly to learn and practice nonviolent communication in a community setting.
.

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Self-compassion may help diabetics control their disease 

Self-compassion may help diabetics control their disease  | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Reducing the stress of managing diabetes might even have biological effects that improve the condition, they add.

This is the first randomized controlled trial of a self-compassion intervention among people with diabetes, lead author Anna Friis told Reuters Health by email.

"Self-compassion-based treatments are founded on the notion that our tendency to be harshly self-critical or judgmental when we feel we have 'failed' or done something wrong makes our stress and distress worse," said Friss, a psychologist at the University of Auckland in New Zealand.


By Reyna Gobel

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