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The Best Kept Secret to Intimacy: Vulnerability

The Best Kept Secret to Intimacy: Vulnerability | Psychology- relationships | Scoop.it
Why do we fear vulnerability? We are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, they will reject us. While we may try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent in order to connect with others in actual fact, pretense often has the opposite effect intended. Research by Paula Niedenthal shows that we resonate too deeply with one another not to perceive inauthenticity. We even register inauthenticity in our bodies. A study by James Gross shows that when we are inauthentic and try to hide our feelings, others respond physiologically (a rise in blood pressure). This physiological response may explain our inherent discomfort around inauthentic or "fake" people.

On the other hand, when people stick to the truth (including avoiding little white lies), not only does their well-being increase, but their relationships improve, recent research suggests. Another recent study indicates that verbally expressing our feelings exactly as they are may help us overcome emotions faster. When we allow ourselves to be completely open and vulnerable, we benefit, our relationships improve, and we may even become more attractive. "We are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth," says Brown. "We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect." Why do we love children so much? Why are we drawn to people who act themselves? Because we feel an intrinsic comfort in the presence of authenticity. Moreover, someone who is real and and vulnerable gives us the space and permission to be the same.

 

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Via Dimitris Tsantaris
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Julianna Bonola's curator insight, November 2, 2014 10:43 PM

What's your relationship like?  If you want to understand your partner better, tell them when you hurt. Becoming vulnerable is the best medicine for growing intimacy within your relationship.

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The Elusive Art of Inner Wholeness and How to Stop Hiding Our Souls

The Elusive Art of Inner Wholeness and How to Stop Hiding Our Souls | Psychology- relationships | Scoop.it

...Palmer — founder of the Center for Courage & Renewal, a contemporary Thoreau of the psyche, and one of the wisest human beings I’ve had the fortune of meeting — begins with the root of our dividedness:

"Afraid that our inner light will be extinguished or our inner darkness exposed, we hide our true identities from each other. In the process, we become separated from our own souls. We end up living divided lives, so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the “integrity that comes from being what you are.”

That separation, he notes, can take many forms, from the misalignment of work and purpose, with which young William James tussled, to denying or hiding some fundamental part of our identity in fear of being judged or rejected, the “play-acting” Kierkegaard lamented, to the all too familiar and endemic impostor syndrome. And yet Palmer makes an important distinction between perfectionism, which only ever oppresses the soul, and wholeness, which liberates it:

"Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. Knowing this gives me hope that human wholeness — mine, yours, ours — need not be a utopian dream, if we can use devastation as a seedbed for new life."...

 

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Node Relationships | Drupal.org

Node Relationships | Drupal.org | Psychology- relationships | Scoop.it
The Node Relationships module provides methods to complete two way relationships between content types enhancing the features of node reference fields. It provides the following features: Enhancements for node ...
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Relationships Matter: What We Can Learn From the Top 25 Most ...

Relationships Matter: What We Can Learn From the Top 25 Most ... | Psychology- relationships | Scoop.it
'Everyone talks about building a relationship with your customer. I think you build one with your employees first,” says newly appointed Senior Vice President of Retail at Apple Angela Ahrendts. The more you invest in terms of ...
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10 Surprising Facts About Rejection | Psychology Today

10 Surprising Facts About Rejection | Psychology Today | Psychology- relationships | Scoop.it
We know that rejection really hurts, but they can also inflict damage to our psychological well-being that goes well beyond mere emotional pain. Here are 10 lesser known facts that describe the various effects rejection has on ...
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Owning and embracing weak parts in us

A young woman is followed by a crocodile representing her shyness. As  it makes her life a hell, she tries by all means to get rid of it.


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Julianna Bonola's curator insight, October 22, 2014 8:15 PM

A lovey metaphor for embracing those parts of ourselves we find less than good enough, and making them our friend rather than our enemy.

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Guys vs. Girls: Relationships

So this video was originally a rant I was gonna do a while ago, but I decided to turn it into a skit instead. I know this one's a little different, but hope ...
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Different Types Of Relationships

Heres just a few relationships I thought of! Hope u enjoy, Send this video to ur friends :) http://twitter.com/jccaylen Instagram - jccaylen Vine - Jc Caylen...
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5 Signs Your Relationship Is Going To Last - MindBodyGreen.com

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Going To Last - MindBodyGreen.com | Psychology- relationships | Scoop.it
Is your relationship in trouble? Having worked with thousands of couples during the last 46 years, I've seen over and over what creates relationship success or failure. Here are some choices that can.
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11 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits We Should Bring Back

11 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits We Should Bring Back | Psychology- relationships | Scoop.it
In your relationships and interactions with others, nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention – your full presence. Being with someone, listening without a clock and without anticipation of the ...
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