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Making sense of relationships again after living with a porn addict
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http://dontrewardbadbehaviour.com/

http://dontrewardbadbehaviour.com/ | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Dont Reward Bad Behaviour is a humorous relationship advicce web site, written by the very funny Lindsay McKinnon.

 

The first of many books to come from the site is:

 

You Want Me To Do WHAT With That?! The Life Expectancy of a Relationship With a Porn Addict, which is available now.

 

It's a hard hitting book, funny, sad and written from the heart of someone who has lived through the devastating effects of living with a porn addicted partner. It is the first British book to be written on porn addiction and the only one to date that is written from a point of humour.

 

Until June 15th, you can win a free copy of the book by signing the petition at the Campaign for REAL MEN not PORN EUNUCHS at  

https://www.change.org/petitions/campaign-for-real-men-not-porn-eunuchs

 

Send a copy of the thank you letter you will receive to realmennotporneunuchs@yahoo.co.uk and you will be sent your free copy of the book, Simple ;-)

 

Check out the top 20 pages on the site to see if your beau is a paramour or a porn perv, or to see if you are a bit of a psycho or, if your guy is more Manimal than Man by reading the Manimal Manifesto, book to be released soon.

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'Sexy Baby' Porn Documentary Opens Today in LA and NY - XBIZ

'Sexy Baby' Porn Documentary Opens Today in LA and NYXBIZLOS ANGELES — "Sexy Baby," a documentary on the effects the digital age and pornography are having on young girls, opens today in selected theaters in Los Angeles and New York.
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Six articles about recovery and relationships worth reading ...

Six articles about recovery and relationships worth reading ... | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Establishing Boundaries in Toxic Relationships – Great article from Recovery Systems Institute on establishing boundaries in relationships with addicts that we love. Many of us drive ourselves crazy trying to help someone ...

 I recently had an on-line altercation with a highly deluded woman who saw herself as a good wife, because she was 'strong enough to stay with her porn addicted partner of twenty years'.  This altercation led me to write The Good Wife: A Cautionary Tale on my blog page - you can find that piece at  http://dontrewardbadbehaviour.com/blog/

 

Way too many women remain in Toxic relationships because they are brought up to believe we should, as Tammy Wynnette would put it 'Stand By Your Man.' effectively sacrificing our own lives to our partner's addiction.

 

Love him or not. Nice guy or not.... unless you get off on being a martyr, every person (man or woman) should think very seriously before commiting themselves to standing by a partner who is more faithful to his porn habit, than he is to her.

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Pornography is just 'advertising' for prostitution, claims Louis Theroux - Telegraph

Pornography is just 'advertising' for prostitution, claims Louis Theroux - Telegraph | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Pornographic films have become adverts for the real business of many of their performers which is prostitution, claims the documentary maker Louis Theroux.

 

Porn has always been about prostitutes (ie, someone who is paid to have sex).... better lighting and a make-up artist doesn't really change that.

 

It's all in how you package something... ask any marketting guru that.

 

Would you rather sleep with a prostitute or a porn star? 

 

All a prostitute has to do to quadruple her income is to make a porn film allowing her to advertise her services under the guise of 'porn star'

 

The industry meanwhile are asking more painful and degrading acts from the porn performers and paying less - 

 

Ergo, porn performers turn tricks and prostitutes make porn films.... there's not really anything new there.

 

Although the same mug that watches these films and believes 'she ain't faking' it, is also mug enough to believe there is a difference between a porn performer and a prostitute.

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Anti-Love Potion No. XXX | Psychology Today

Anti-Love Potion No. XXX | Psychology Today | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Why is Romeo ignoring Juliet? By Marnia Robinson...

 

French guys prefer porn to sex?  Ok God, let me off at the next stop please

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Google on filters, talking to your kids about porn, and other news in May

Google on filters, talking to your kids about porn, and other news in May | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Lately all over the U.K. the debate about blocking pornographic websites has been raging.

 

Google have said all along they will fight any moves to censor porn, or even put it in a place where kids can't find it;.... why?

 

Get em young keep em for life....

 

They are making a lot of money out of advertising, but what they are doing, is ensuring a porn addict in the making for the future. 

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My journey through addiction rehab… | Miguel Ali

My journey through addiction rehab… | Miguel Ali | porn addiction | Scoop.it
As of last week, I completed a 3-month, sex addiction, rehab program. (insert hysterical laughs here). Okay… now that the jokes are over… sex addiction is no joke. Yes, I'm more than willing to write comedically about it, but ...  For all those who are recovering now or struggling with it, please read this sentence –

You will get through it. You will recover from the exhaustion and you will become better. Most of all, and the Holy Quran especially mentions this, by confronting your toxic habits and doing something about them, you are automatically bringing the best out of yourself. Never forget that – getting past a toxic addiction will bring the best out of you.

For those who say sex and porn can't be an addiction, because, for a start you don't get the same withdrawal symptoms, read this...

 

And the common theme that it took the woman he loved leaving him after giving him a 'you need help' and offering to take the journey with him, to which he did not respond.

 

Three months seems to be the magic number for finding your way out of the habit and back to health. A lifetime is the magic number for staying there.

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Dont Reward Bad Behaviour Articles Archive - Relationship ideas from Lindsay McKinnon and friends.

Dont Reward Bad Behaviour Articles Archive - Relationship ideas from Lindsay McKinnon and friends. | porn addiction | Scoop.it
advice and help for the partners of porn addicts,articles b experts and therapists in porn addiction,the feminist aspect of the porn industry,humorous quizzes and questions,interviews and podcasts...
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Interviews with experts in the field of porn addiction

Interviews, documentaries and topical subjects including the Chatting With Lindsay interviews and many other items from her friends can be found on her Help For Porn Addicts page at You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH9jPJL2cfI&list=HL1338120776&feature=mh_lolz

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Porn Producers Contacting Those Who Illegally Shared Films - RedOrbit

Porn Producers Contacting Those Who Illegally Shared Films - RedOrbit | porn addiction | Scoop.it

RedOrbitPorn Producers Contacting Those Who Illegally Shared FilmsRedOrbitCustomers of a popular UK mobile phone and broadband service providers suspected of illegally sharing pornographic films will be receiving cease-and-desist letters from filmmakers...

It is a little difficult to take an article seriously when it's talking about Ben Dover, who apparently will find labia.... sorry, who will find liable those who have been downloading their porn... my, my, my, porn being connected with something illicit, whatever next! 

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Amazon.com: Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families (9780805081329): Pamela Paul: Books

Amazon.com: Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families (9780805081329): Pamela Paul: Books | porn addiction | Scoop.it
Amazon.com: Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families (9780805081329): Pamela Paul: Books (Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families (Paperback): “Strips...
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NYC Sex Therapy: Porn Addiction, Sex Addiction – The scientific reality

NYC Sex Therapy: Porn Addiction, Sex Addiction – The scientific reality | porn addiction | Scoop.it
In 2008, the Mayo Clinic published a case study of treating compulsive sexual behaviors with pharmaceuticals:
A male patient first presented to a psychiatrist (J.M.B.) at age 24, with the explanation, “I’m here for sexual addiction.Read More...
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Amazon.com: Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame (9781608820832): George Collins MA, Andrew Adleman MA: Books

Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame

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Amazon.com: Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame (9781608820832): George Collins MA, Andrew Adleman MA: Books (Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame: Anyone who has...
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Should children be taught that porn is not real?

Should children be taught that porn is not real? | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Many teenagers regularly view porn. But does this give them a distorted view of sex and relationships, and what can be done about it?

This piece is from a number of excellent discussions from the Beeb re the effects of porn on kids and whether we should be teaching them that 'porn is not real sex' in schools, in an age appropriate way to kids as young as ten. 

 

We really can't bury our heads in the sand anymore and pretend this is simply going to go away. Sex being a taboo subject only makes porn more appealing. I watched a documentary on a STD clinic in Manchester last night; on it a seventeen year old girl, who may or may not have been attractive,( it was difficult to tell under the fuscia pink hair, antique-wood-finish fake-tan, the two sets of false eyelashes, glow-in-the-dark-teeth and the podgy little body stuffed into a shiny two piece outfit culminating in a midrif bulge that made her resemble an exploded tube of cookie dough) discussed the thirty something boys she had already slept with (that is the amount not their average age).

 

Her mother expressed alarm at her daughter's admission that she thought nothing of getting into a car and going back to a total stranger's house to have sex - always without protection (of a gun or a condom) - and her utter horror that her daughter had even copuluted in the park (she spared her the tale of sex on a bus). Her daugher. showing as much emotion as you would expect from the second rate porn film from which she looked like she had just performed, only shrugged her indiference.

 

Yes, we need to teach our young that porn is not real life and that girls should aspire to use educational outlets more than tanning salons. We are already at the point where we can't tell if girls are hookers or heading to Tesco for their shopping - how much lower are we going to allow our kids to sink before we do something about it?

 

While the battle for pro and anti porn continues to rage, the damage is being done. Porn is here whether we like it or not; education in schools has to reflect that in order to minimize the casualties

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The Soul is Not a Smithy: How And Why To Give Up Pornography

The Soul is Not a Smithy: How And Why To Give Up Pornography | porn addiction | Scoop.it

I loved this blog... beware, he's a little bit of a potty mouth ;-p, but personally, I think it only added to what he wrote. He is, as we say in the UK, a 'bloke'.... and if we can get blokes to see how porn can turn you from being a fully functioning man into a useless tosser (in both the literal and metaphorical sense) then there it hope for us yet.

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Make a difference - SIGN The Campaign for REAL MEN not PORN EUNUCHS TODAY!

Make a difference - SIGN The Campaign for REAL MEN not PORN EUNUCHS TODAY! | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Campaign for REAL MEN not PORN EUNUCHS

https://www.change.org/petitions/campaign-for-real-men-not-porn-eunuchs

 

The campaign is not affiliated with any anti or pro porn lobby. It is pro a reality check!

 

The aims of the campaign are totally impartial and are concerned primarily with the physical, sexual, emotional and psychological effects ofpornography on the user and those involved with the user, from family membersto work colleagues.

 

We must make a stand to ensure our society is not headed for a bleakfuture as we are now witnessing in Japan, where due to the proliferation of uncensored porn over the last two decades, they are seeing a notable drop intheir population, as their youth choose cyber-sex/porn over relationships.

 

I touch upon this subject in You Want Me To Do WHAT With That?! The Life Expectancy of a Relationship With a Porn Addict, that the future for mankind is not looking great, but as something we might expect in a decade or so. I didn't realise this situation was already with us.

 

Our own young men are suffering ED in their teens and twenties due to porn addiction. They are developing negative attitudes about females and are unable to form relationships: which in turn will result in fewer stable family units and more one parent families.

 

With over half of divorces citing heavy porn use as a contributory factor: as a society, we ignore the results of porn addiction at our peril.With this in mind, I urge you to lobby to implement the following:

 

One:    Porn addiction needs to be recognised as such: thesemantics as to whether or not it is an addiction or a behavioural problem are beside the point. While these arguments continue, porn addiction is allowed togrow unhindered and cause untold harm.

 

Two:    All health practitioners are given a proper and full training in sex and porn addiction. Currently most are unaware that it exists and are unable to recognisethe symptoms let alone give the correct treatment.

 

Three:   All health practitioners are given a full and proper training on how to treat the partnerof an addict. (Symptoms are akin to PTSD).Currently the advice that it is acceptable for her partner to watch porn and ignoring her concerns over the changes in his behaviour and his consequentialtreatment of her, is not only sanctioning but contributing to a form of spousal abuse.

 

Four:    Access to porn is no longer freely available on theinternet, regardless of age (any 5 year oldcan click a button to confirm they are over 18). All material of a pornographic nature should be accessed via a new network URL (.sex for instance) which the user has to register and log into to access.

 

These sites should only be available through adult search engines,meaning innocent searches on Google, Alta Vista, et al, will not ‘accidently’result in pages of porn sites.

 

Five:   TV commercialsfor adult chat lines should not be shown on regular TV channels. (Ads promoting porn, sex lines and prostitutes ‘normalise’ them).

 

Clips for films on adult pay per view channels and seeing the sex workerson channels dedicated to live sex lines should not be accessible unless theviewer signs in. (Currently, these channels show free film clips and, in the case of live sex chat lines, the girls can still be viewed chatting with and responding to requests from other callers, regardless of whether the viewer has paid to speak with them or not).

 

Likewise:adverts for live chat sex lines and prostitutes, should be removed from any paper publication that is not intended for strictly adult audiences (no child who is checking out what time hiscartoons start in a TV guide should find ads for sex lines.)

 

Six:   An education campaign is launched to show the harmful effects of porn use on a man’s libido, his relationships, his job (many porn addicts end up losing their job and suffer financial difficulties), mentalhealth (depression is a common result)  his ability as a lover and a partner. The campaign should be multi layered, targeting specific age groups. It should also recognise the growing number of female addicts.

 

Seven:   A government fundednational and international research group to look into the short and long termeffects of pornography on the psyche and whether there needs to be a limit on the type and strength of the scenes of degradation, and if these scenes contribute to ‘hate crimes’ against women and children. Freedom of speech should never over-ride the well being of others.

 

It should be up to the person who wants to watch porn to actively seek it out.

 

It should not be up to the person (or parent) who does not want towatch porn to actively avoid it.

 

https://www.change.org/petitions/campaign-for-real-men-not-porn-eunuchs

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Inside the 'Porn School': Desert boot camp helps teens beat addiction to online filth with chores, horse riding and lie detectors

Inside the 'Porn School': Desert boot camp helps teens beat addiction to online filth with chores, horse riding and lie detectors | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Oxbow Academy, in Utah, is a rehabilitation facility dedicated to teenage boys who have exhibited 'sexual behavioural issues'.

The Academy that inspired Camp Porn Nada 

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CAMP PORN NADA treatment centres for kids addicted to porn.

Oxbow academy is an addiction treatment centre in Utah for teenagers addicted to porn. Like all addictions it can be treated individual therapy groups. sympt...

Something about this just made me think of the Camp Granada song and so inspired me to write this parody called Camp Porn Nada

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BBC - World Tonight: Is Japan a dying nation?

The World Tonight blog...

 

The reasons for Japan's falling population may be multiple, one of those reasons is the preference for Porn instead of People. Japan has always fascinated me as a country and a culture. If the Aliens had dropped a perfect race on earth, it would probably be them, with their scientfic advances and the ability to have a highly advanced obedient work force that believe taking their designated holiday time is disprespectful the their work mates and company.

These cyber savi people though are finding other human beings just too much to take and so prefer to lose themselves in their bedrooms in their parent's house and immerse themselves in comics, cyber sex and porn, which Japan produces a prolific amount of.

 

Forget Save the Whale, it's time to start the Save the Japanese campaign.

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Comic Rob Delaney on Porn, Sobriety, Twitter, and Feminism

Comic Rob Delaney on Porn, Sobriety, Twitter, and Feminism | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Delaney talks sobriety, why he's a feminist, honesty, and the finer points of his social network of choice.

 

This guy is my kind of feminist! For some, jokes that include not wanting sex with kids because... well for one, they're not very good at it... ...may be near the knuckle, but the intention behind this man's humour is bang on.

 

This is blue humour at it's best. It's funny, it really isn't offensive and besides, he's not exactly hard on the eye... ooops. is that sexist?

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Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center - POSARC

Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center - POSARC | porn addiction | Scoop.it
PoSARC or The Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center educates, nurtures and helps people work with the problems related to compulsive pornography use.
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Jamie is 13 and hasn't even kissed a girl. But he's now on the Sex Offender Register after online porn warped his mind...

Jamie is 13 and hasn't even kissed a girl. But he's now on the Sex Offender Register after online porn warped his mind... | porn addiction | Scoop.it

An eminent child therapist, who treats youngsters hooked on hardcore sites, reveals how it poisons their lives forever.

 

For the past 70 years our services, which are part of the Tavistock and Portman NHS Trust, have been available to anyone who has committed any kind of offence.

But an increasingly large part of our caseload is taken up with young people whose behaviour has become out of control due, largely, to compulsive internet porn use.

This year alone, this has included 50 referrals of children under 18, and that’s just for North London,

 

...Paul, 12. ...At school, he has been repeatedly exposing himself to teachers and other pupils...

at home, his appalled mother has found him walking around the house naked in a constant state of sexual excitement.

...Andrew, aged 13, who was referred to the clinic because he has been abusing his five-year-old half-sister. Due to his two years of constant porn use, he has built up a complex fantasy world — so it was no big step for him to try to involve her.

 

 You know, a lawyer who's looking to make a few million could do to the porn industry what they did to the cigarette manufacturers. They make SO much money, don't you think it's about time they paid some of it back for the damage they've done?

As long as there are no consequences for porn producers, why the hell would they stop what they're doing?

 

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The Archetype of the Shadow

The Archetype of the Shadow | porn addiction | Scoop.it

The archetype of the shadow is depicted as: A shadowy figure, often the same sex as dreamer but inferior; a zombie or walking dead; a dark shape; an unseen ‘Thing’; someone or something we feel uneasy about or in some measure repelled by; drug addict; pervert; what is behind one in a dream; anything dark or threatening; sometimes a younger brother or sister; a junior colleague; a foreigner; a servant; a gypsy; a prostitute; a burglar; a sinister figure in the dark.

 

Often there is an air of disrepute about the person, or of danger, but that is not always so. Sometimes it appears as simply an indistinct figure, or someone difficult to really see...


Via Bonnie Bright
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He’s Just Not That Into Anyone

He’s Just Not That Into Anyone | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Even, and perhaps especially, when his girlfriend is acting like the women he can’t stop watching online.

 

25% of college guys now fake orgasm when they (can manage to) have sex with a flesh and blood partner - whoohoo equality at last! 

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Dr. Bonnie Weil Teaches Couples How to Rekindle their Romance - San Francisco Chronicle (press release)

Dr. Bonnie Weil Teaches Couples How to Rekindle their Romance - San Francisco Chronicle (press release) | porn addiction | Scoop.it

Dr.Bonnie Weil Teaches Couples How to Rekindle their RomanceSan Francisco Chronicle (press release)New York, NY (PRWEB) June 03, 2012 Dr Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, and author of Make Up Don't Break Up responds to an article recently appearing on Yahoo...  Men seem to resort to pornography for multiple reasons, not just for the images but stories as well.... yeah, and they buy Playboy for the articles too ;-p 

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