no
0 view | +0 today
Follow
no
Curated by TeamEarth
Your new post is loading...
Your new post is loading...
Scooped by TeamEarth
Scoop.it!

Sherlock Holmes: Saviour, Sham, or Sex Machine?

TeamEarth's insight:

Rita Skeeter here, on the Apocalypse Beat. I'm the lucky girl who gets to sit down with London's dreamiest Consulting Detective, Sherlock Holmes, here in New York City to bring his posh insights and devastating cheekbones to help this city with its Smashing (literally!) Supervillian Situation. Let's learn more of this dishy detective's secrets.

RS: So, Sherlock Holmes, I do declare. First, I'd like to say how simply flattered I am that you should have chosen little ol' me, myself, and I to interview you on this landmark occasion.

SH: This is a fallacious assumption from the outset. I did not choose to be interviewed; rather, you ambushed me here at the --

RS: Now, now, Mr. Holmes…or may I call you Sherly?…you know you are the juicy news being talked of up and down the City. Please do tell our fascinated readers, how do you intend to protect this helpless little city with your big strong brain?

SH: It has little to do with strength, and much to do with training, concentration, and focus. I have been able to identify multiple patterns of action in the previous attacks by the one named Loki, and have thus discerned--

RS: Oooh, "the one named Loki." And isn't he the most adorable of all of our Supervillains? That boyish countenance, the flowing hair….and is it true that you've actually met him? That must have been quite a sight to behold. Yum, yum.

SH: Well, yes, our paths have crossed previously. It was….related to a horse. However, that is immaterial. With respect to the case at hand, I believe I have identified the precise moment that this villain shall [cont. on Page 2]

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by TeamEarth
Scoop.it!

Latest Supervillain Attack Estimated at $160 Billion

MEANWHILE - SUSPECT STILL AT LARGE

TeamEarth's insight:

 

A movement is beginning to grow among citizens angry at the rising use of taxpayer dollars to fix damages caused by Super Clashes between Superheroes and Supervillains.

 

"It's frustrating," Kate Beckett, detective with the NYPD Twelfth Precinct, admits. "It drains our resources." Her partner disagrees. "It's awesome!" said Richard Castle, best-selling crime novelist. "They're superheroes! What's not to love?"

 

The money, apparently. With the current damage estimate set at $160 billion, this latest rampage on the city ranks merely 5th in terms of cost. A recent report listed construction repairs and overtime for emergency personnel as the biggest expenses. "While we're cleaning up the mess these superpeople leave behind," said Detective Beckett, "we could be investigating real crimes or allocating money towards more humane goals, such as helping the homeless and feeding the poor."

 

With elections approaching, it's certainly one of the hot topics on voters' minds. One suggestion is gaining a lot of ground. "We should place the costs where they belong," argued a man who would only give his name as Walternate. "On the people responsible for the damages."

 

In addition, the Marvel and DC unions are also facing a lot of backlash.  "Why don't they all just work together and get the job done faster?" asked Dean Winchester, a tourist. "It'd save the city millions.  Whose dumb...idea is it that Marvel and DC Superheroes can't help each other out?"

 

Opinions are also pouring in from around the world. A mysterious "Ministry of Magic" issued the following statement

 

Please see SUPER-FREE ZONE, Page A4

more...
No comment yet.