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Funny Animal Pictures and Jokes

Funny Animal Pictures and Jokes | Humor | Scoop.it
A man hated his wife's cat so much that he decided to get rid of it by driving it twenty blocks away from home and dumping it. But as he got back home, he saw the cat wandering up the driveway. So he drove the cat forty blocks away and dumped it.
Roman Marshanski's insight:
Some funny animal jokes from Humoropedia.com:

1) Q: What’s the difference between cats and dogs? A: Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. 

2) Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. 

3) Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff. 

4) Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: “Put it on my bill.”

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25 Funny Pirate Jokes And Puns

25 Funny Pirate Jokes And Puns | Humor | Scoop.it
Laugh at 25 really funny pirate jokes and puns. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about pirates. 1. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?
Roman Marshanski's insight:
Here are 7 pirate jokes from that page:

1. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? An arm and a leg. 

2. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky. 

3. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck.

4. How can you tell a pirate has fallen for modern technology? It’s the iPatch that gives it away. 

 5. Most veteran pirates can only think about sailing the seas again. They’ve got ship for brains. 

 6. What would a pirate wear for his Halloween costume? A pumpkin patch. 

 7. What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates? The Steady Relationship.
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Welcome to Facebook TV

Welcome to Facebook TV | Humor | Scoop.it
Lucas Kavner humorously pitches ideas for scripted and unscripted programs that Facebook might develop as it expands into original video content.
Roman Marshanski's insight:
Satire of contemporary television and Internet. It is indeed interesting that Facebook is seriously considering the possibility of buying its own video content. But the article is even funnier than the above-mentioned fact is interesting. So check it out.
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20 Funny Nerd Jokes

20 Funny Nerd Jokes | Humor | Scoop.it
Laugh at 20 really funny nerd jokes. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes for nerds. 1 Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.
Roman Marshanski's insight:
Read continuation of the joke above and four other ones:
 
1. ...The helium doesn’t react. 
 
 2. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron." “Are you sure?" “Yes, I’m positive." 
 
 3. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab: “What do we want?" “Time travel" “When do we want it?" “Irrelevant." 
 
 4. There are two kittens on a sloped roof. Which one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew. 
 
 5. Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. Descartes says “I think not" and disappears. 
 
If you liked these 5 jokes, be cool and share this right now. Then be even cooler and laugh at 15 more nerd jokes on this page: http://humoropedia.com/funny-nerd-jokes/
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Thanksgiving Day Jokes

Thanksgiving Day Jokes | Humor | Scoop.it
Check out our hilarious collection of Thanksgiving Day jokes. They are so funny you will pee your pants before eating the turkey, or we’re not Humoropedia.com Thanksgiving Day Jokes Be Prepared Grandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card... http://humoropedia.com/thanksgiving-day-jokes/ #HilariousJokesandFunnyPics by Humoropedia
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12 Funny Star Wars Memes + Darth Vader Memes

12 Funny Star Wars Memes + Darth Vader Memes | Humor | Scoop.it
Check out these really funny Star Wars memes. They include some of the best Darth Vader memes ever made. They are so funny you will laugh out loud, or we’re not the team of Humoropedia. 1. What if Darth Vader became a musician? 2. What if Stormtroopers fought Bond Villains? 3. Even Darth... http://humoropedia.com/funny-star-wars-memes/ #HilariousJokesandFunnyPics by Humoropedia
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That's How They Self-Destructed Their Own Privacy Policy

That's How They Self-Destructed Their Own Privacy Policy | Humor | Scoop.it
You may have heard of a new fad called Snapchat. This app sends supposedly disappearing photos. The problem is, they have been repeatedly found to be quite “appearing”. People tend to steal them, save them, and use them for such sophisticated purpose as masturbation. So lots of... http://humoropedia.com/thats-how-they-self-destructed-their-own-privacy-policy/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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California Is Creating Army to Attack Federal Reserve

California Is Creating Army to Attack Federal Reserve | Humor | Scoop.it
This article has been written by Gary Anderson. It has been originally published on his blog. Greece and Detroit didn’t have public banks. Your state and city are next at risk, as the Fed is forcing the Too Big to Fail Banks to sell their municipal and state bonds in favor of their... http://humoropedia.com/california-is-creating-army-to-attack-federal-reserve/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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Some People Too Lazy To Add Milk To Corn Flakes

Some People Too Lazy To Add Milk To Corn Flakes | Humor | Scoop.it
Source: The Meta Picture Less that one third of Americans in their early twenties eat corn flakes for breakfast. These are the results of a survey that was intended to measure the habits of young Americans. Instead of measuring their habits it has found that the vast majority of them are too... http://humoropedia.com/some-people-too-lazy-to-add-milk-to-corn-flakes/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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Apple's iCloud Is Now Literally In The Cloud

Apple's iCloud Is Now Literally In The Cloud | Humor | Scoop.it
You may have heard of a recent scandal surrounding leaked celebrity photos. What you haven’t heard is the Apple’s ingenious response. You may object that it wasn’t ingenious, but then you’d be talking about something else. We do know that Apple has slashed prices for its... http://humoropedia.com/apples-icloud-is-now-literally-in-the-cloud/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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8 Insanely Valuable Items You Probably Owned (and Threw Out)

8 Insanely Valuable Items You Probably Owned (and Threw Out) | Humor | Scoop.it
And no, we're not talking about that mint condition Batman Issue No. 1 -- we're talking about seemingly worthless junk.
Roman Marshanski's insight:

Your hoarding compulsions may have made you rich, and you don't even know it. Check this article and you may find out you are rich. No joke whatsoever. It's Cracked.com.

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Apple faces billions in fines in tax avoidance probe - CNET

Apple faces billions in fines in tax avoidance probe - CNET | Humor | Scoop.it
European investigators are set to accuse Apple of receiving "illegal state aid" in Ireland for more than twenty years.

Via Nerd Uno
Roman Marshanski's insight:

Apple is so poor they have been getting tax subsidies from Ireland. Apparently, record iPhone sales are not enough for them, so let's buy more iPhones to make them richer. No Excuses! Gotta buy one today!

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NFL Demands More Subsidies, Less Education | We Agree

NFL Demands More Subsidies, Less Education | We Agree | Humor | Scoop.it
Source: NFLockout.com NFL owners are not happy with United States’ education system. They also are not happy with the way subsidies are distributed. Neither are they happy with the enormous amount of money they are getting. You may have heard that NFL is a tax exempt entity. That’s... http://humoropedia.com/nfl-demands-more-subsidies-less-education-we-agree/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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Really Funny Animal Jokes | Laugh Factory

Really Funny Animal Jokes | Laugh Factory | Humor | Scoop.it
Funny Animal Jokes - Read through the best funny animal jokes submitted laugh factory club members
Roman Marshanski's insight:
Here is the best animal joke from that page:

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"
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Pirate jokes • r/piratejokes

Pirate jokes • r/piratejokes | Humor | Scoop.it
reddit: the front page of the internet
Roman Marshanski's insight:
The best pirate joke from that page is the following one: 

A pirate goes to the doctors to have spots on his arm examined. 
The doctor says: "They're benign" .

The pirate replies: "No, no doc, there be 11. I counted them before I came here."
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16 Nerdy Jokes That Are So Bad, They're Good

16 Nerdy Jokes That Are So Bad, They're Good | Humor | Scoop.it
"I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon."..
Roman Marshanski's insight:

Some nerdy jokes from BuzzFeed. Some of them are really funny.

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6 Insane Meltdowns by Actors on Set of Their Greatest Movies

6 Insane Meltdowns by Actors on Set of Their Greatest Movies | Humor | Scoop.it
We're not sure if life on a film set would be hilarious or a freaking nightmare.
Roman Marshanski's insight:

One of Cracked's vintage articles, which is as absurd as it is funny.

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Here Are All The Best Jokes About Thanksgiving

Here Are All The Best Jokes About Thanksgiving | Humor | Scoop.it
We all love Thanksgiving, but it often takes a sense of humor to get through it. Take a look at some of our favorite jokes about Thanksgiving from the likes of Jon Stewart, Jim Gaffigan, George Carlin, Roseanne Barr and more.

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Roman Marshanski's insight:

Some funny Thanksgiving Day jokes from comedians

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Look at These 35 Star Wars Memes, You Will

Look at These 35 Star Wars Memes, You Will | Humor | Scoop.it
These are the memes you're looking for. Check out these 35 galactic Star Wars memes we've gathered from all across the Internet.
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Chuckle Buzz's comment, January 5, 2017 6:00 AM
These are awesome!
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Why This Attorney General Won't Fight Same-Sex Marriage

Why This Attorney General Won't Fight Same-Sex Marriage | Humor | Scoop.it
You may have heard that West Virginia’s attorney general will no longer fight against same-sex marriage. What you don’t know is the secret reason behind his decision. Unknown to most people who work with him, West Virginia’s attorney general has been gay all his life. But he... http://humoropedia.com/why-this-attorney-general-wont-fight-same-sex-marriage/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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Zuckerberg's Attempt To Take Over Africa REVEALED

Zuckerberg's Attempt To Take Over Africa REVEALED | Humor | Scoop.it
You may have heard of Zuckerberg’s attempt at philanthropy called Internet.org. It aims to bring Internet to everybody, for free, with a smile, Zuckerberg-style. People would be exposed to all the wonderful places of the Internet, especially Facebook. So the plan of Mark Zuckerberg is to... http://humoropedia.com/zuckerbergs-attempt-to-take-over-africa-revealed/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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Obama Plans To Play 'Spin The Bottle' In This Terrible Way

Obama Plans To Play 'Spin The Bottle' In This Terrible Way | Humor | Scoop.it
You may have heard of a recent decision to bomb Syria. No one supported it, except for Republicans. This tells us it was as bad as it could get. When Republicans support you, you must be doing something terribly wrong, or maybe you are working for Republicans, just like Obama is. Obama’s... http://humoropedia.com/obama-plans-to-play-spin-the-bottle-in-this-terrible-way/ #SatiricalNewsArticles by Humoropedia
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Study Finds Mass Extinction Could Free Up Billions Of Dollars In Conservation Funding By 2024

Study Finds Mass Extinction Could Free Up Billions Of Dollars In Conservation Funding By 2024 | Humor | Scoop.it
WASHINGTON—Saying the extra income would be a major boon both for individual citizens and the country at large, a study released Monday by the Congressional Budget Office confirmed that a mass extinction of the world’s flora and fauna could fr...
Roman Marshanski's insight:

Politicians' climate change hypocrisy satirized by The Onion 

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Apple’s #bendgate Roundup: Some Of Our Favorite Parodies

Apple’s #bendgate Roundup: Some Of Our Favorite Parodies | Humor | Scoop.it
We know that Blendtec’s tagline says, “Will it blend?” However it looks like the phrase has since been taken and rephrased to “Will it...

Via Nerd Uno
Roman Marshanski's insight:

Parody is always funny (unless it sucks), but tech parody is even funnier. #apple #humor

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Beyond iPhone: Apple’s New Phone BendGate iBend

Beyond iPhone: Apple’s New Phone BendGate iBend | Humor | Scoop.it
You may have heard of a recent controversy surrounding bending of iPhone 6 Plus. You may have also heard that Apple responded by saying that it is 'extremely rare'. What you haven't heard is the secret memorandum Apple has disclosed to no one but only its...

Via Nerd Uno
Roman Marshanski's insight:

Our article shared by someone who liked it. Another reason for shameless self-promotion.

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