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the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty. Chuang-Tzu

the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty.  Chuang-Tzu | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing.
The hearing of the understanding is another.
But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty,
     to the ear, or to the mind.

 

Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties.
And when the faculties are empty,
    then the whole being listens.

 

There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you
   that can never be heard with the ear
    or understood with the mind.

 

Chuang-Tzu
http://j.mp/LjJuQV

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Empathic Family & Parenting
News from around the word about Empathic Relationships, Family Life and Parenting
Curated by Edwin Rutsch
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Empathy Movement Magazine: Empathic Family & Parenting

Empathy Movement Magazine:  Empathic Family & Parenting | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Sponsored by Edwin Rutsch Empathy Guide Services
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These one-to-one empathy sessions support; well-being, healing, practicing to be a better listener and supporting you in creating empathic environments in your relationships, family, school, work, communities and beyond.


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(Empathic Relationships) The Power of Empathy in a Troubled Marriage

(Empathic Relationships) The Power of Empathy in a Troubled Marriage | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

 

First, be intentional about showing empathy. Modeling empathy is one of the best ways of creating it in a relationship. You can do this by showing care and concern for your mate. Express gratitude for any thoughtful actions. Be an active listener, showing an interest in your mate’s life. Do your part to create a bond of peace;   

 

Second, be intentional about asking for empathy. Ask your mate to sit and talk about your day. Share feelings openly and encourage your mate to ‘sit with your feelings’ without rescuing you. Listen actively to their feelings, showing concern and care for them. Listen deeply for their innermost thoughts and feelings; 

 

Third, rid your relationship of empathy destroyers. Eliminate empathy destroyers such as criticism, neglect and sarcasm. If you are upset with your mate, bring those issues to the fore in a constructive way. Stop all forms of passive-aggression and hostility, eliminating any speech that hurts the other;   

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy - The Secret Sauce For Happy Relationships: Julie Hanks, LCSW 

New research suggests that empathy is crucial to happy relationships.

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce to a Happy Marriage

(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce to a Happy Marriage | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Are you empathetic? Is your partner? It might be the secret to a happier marriage. According to a recent study from Harvard University, being able to accurately read a partner's emotions--and believing that your partner is trying to understand your emotions--is related to couple relationship satisfaction. ..

10 Things Happy Couples Do

The authors suggested that for men, being able to understand and be empathetic to their partner's negative emotions may feel threatening to the relationship, but women don't seem to find negative emotions threatening. Findings suggest that effort, not just accuracy, positively impacts relationships.

Developing Empathy
If your relationship is distressed or if you simply want to make a good relationship better, here are some ways to work on your empathy skills.

 

by Julie Hanks

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(Empathic Parenting) How to Nurture Empathy in Children

(Empathic Parenting) How to Nurture Empathy in Children | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

How to nurture empathy in children.
Children have the hardwiring for compassion and empathy, but as with all tiny seeds, the capacity for empathy will need nurturing and gentle guidance to develop. Here are some ways to do that.

Encourage their imagination.
Cognitive empathy – the ability to accurately understand and interpret what someone else might be thinking – draws from our imagination and emotional intelligence. When you read stories, watch movies together, or observe people in real life, encourage their curiosity. ..


Acknowledge the emotion in others.
Reading emotions is the first step, then comes the acknowledgement. If our own joy or sadness was met with a stony expression by someone close to us, it would probably leave us feeling a bit empty. 

Do what I do and guess how I feel....

 Face to face. It’s how the best talk happens....

Let’s pretend....

Stay with the feeling – it has a good reason for being there...

.. 

Karen Young

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(Empathic Relationships) The Therapy Trick That Could Change The Way You Talk To Your Partner:  a set of skills that will help you and your partner reconnect and restore empathy,

(Empathic Relationships) The Therapy Trick That Could Change The Way You Talk To Your Partner:  a set of skills that will help you and your partner reconnect and restore empathy, | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Luckily, there are some calmer, more rational ways to get to this point, and there's actually a form of relationship therapy that's designed to teach couples how to express, listen, and understand one another in these types of situations. It's called Imago therapy.

 

Like many forms of therapy, the point of Imago therapy is to develop a set of skills that will help you and your partner reconnect and restore empathy, says Rebecca Sears, LPC, an Imago relationship therapist.

 

That sounds vague and theoretical, but Imago uses a specific dialogue, or script, to help you get there. While I've never tried Imago therapy, there are ways that you can use Imago skills in your everyday life.

 

You just have to follow the three distinct steps: mirroring, validation, and empathy.


Confused? Here's what a typical Imago therapy session entails.

 

CORY STIEG
JUNE 22, 2017

 

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When Lovers Touch, Their Breathing and Heartbeat Syncs While Pain Wanes

When Lovers Touch, Their Breathing and Heartbeat Syncs While Pain Wanes | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
That’s one takeaway from a study released last week that found that when an empathetic partner holds the hand of a woman in pain, their heart and respiratory rates sync and her pain dissipates.

“The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic effect, the higher the synchronization between the two when they are touching,” said lead author Pavel Goldstein, a postdoctoral pain researcher in the Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab at CU Boulder.

The study of 22 couples, published in the journal Scientific Reports last week, is the latest in a growing body of research on “interpersonal synchronization,” the phenomenon in which individuals begin to physiologically mirror the people they’re with.

 

 Lisa Ann Marshall –

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(Empathc Family) How Raising 3 Daughters Taught Me to Have Empathy and Compassion

(Empathc Family) How Raising 3 Daughters Taught Me to Have Empathy and Compassion | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
As a leader in a work setting, it's so important to have empathy for others. It's not possible to lead effectively unless you can somehow start seeing the world from the eyes of your employees. You have to stop "career building" and stop focusing on your own narrow agenda. No team ever survives for long with a leader who only wants to advance his or her own agenda and achieve success.

 

In fact, every healthy team has empathy flowing in abundance. It's so ingrained in every person there is no other option....

 

Learning to have empathy made me a better dad, a better leader...a better person. I can't imagine what kind of corporate drone I would have become otherwise.

 

By John Brandon Contributing editor, Inc.com

 

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Audio: Slate’s Parenting Podcast Asks: Can You Teach Empathy to a 2-Year-Old?

Audio: Slate’s Parenting Podcast Asks: Can You Teach Empathy to a 2-Year-Old? | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Listen to Slate’s parenting podcast discuss how young is too young to teach empathy, and what to do about a boy who dominates his little brother.

By Rebecca Lavoie, Steve Lickteig, and Gabriel Roth
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(Empathic Parenting) Sympathy vs. Empathy: why parents should know the difference

(Empathic Parenting) Sympathy vs. Empathy: why parents should know the difference | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Research shows an ever-growing sense of entitlement in our youth, along with an exponential rise in bullying, despite anti bullying efforts. Why? Because too frequently, parents confuse w sympathy w empathy.

Dr. Leonard, psychotherapist, explains the difference between the two.

 

 1) Sympathy is feeling sorry for your child. When you feel sorry for your child, you tend to lower expectations, make concessions, and demand rules be changed for them. This creates a sense of entitlement in the child.

 

2) Empathy is emotional attunement.

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The empathy gap

The empathy gap | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
The empathically challenged — for want of a better term — tend to stonewall, shut out, become passive aggressive with partners and family, whom they often blame. They may lie to avoid confrontation, and tend to not share their vulnerabilities or feelings. Many can’t pre-empt, predict or remember simple things that are important to their loved ones.

Feeling invisible, with needs chronically unmet, is devastating, hence the sufferer of AfDD can develop severe frustration, anger, stress, despair, self-doubt or anxiety, which often spills into a range of illnesses. 

RUTH OSTROW

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(Empathic Parenting) Empathy: the building block to a close bond  

(Empathic Parenting) Empathy: the building block to a close bond   | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

One of the main aims of listening is to gain understanding. In an ideal world, we will be able to see things from the other person's perspective. This is known as empathy.

 

This ability to show understanding of others becomes central to healthy relationships and is the cornerstone of resolving conflict and increasing connectedness.

 

So, in this fourth and final article of the series on communication, I wanted to focus on empathy and understanding, building on the skills of listening and the awareness of our non-verbal communication.

 

 David Coleman

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So He’s Not Empathic — Now What? 

So He’s Not Empathic — Now What?  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy Can Be Learned

If he’s basically nice, he can probably learn to show more empathy. You might tell him, gently, before venting, that you would like to be heard and understood, not “fixed.” When he does listen thoughtfully, tell him how much it means to you that he’s really there for you. Your compliment is likely to inspire more of the same from him next time. So, do remember to keep telling him you value him for listening.

You might wish he could read your mind, but you cannot expect him to. This is why it is so important to tell him, again gently, what you need.

Marcia Naomi Berger,

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Relationships First

Relationships First | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Unlike self-help quick fixes and pop culture “cures,” this methodology is proven, based on cutting-edge relational science.

 

Using a three-step dialogue process of

  • mirroring,
  • validating and
  • empathizing –


eliminating negativity from your interactions and approaching your partner with curiosity instead of judgment – you not only grow more present and intimate with each other, but begin to heal and grow the neural pathways in the brain.

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce of Happy Marriages

(Empathic Relationships) Empathy: The Secret Sauce of Happy Marriages | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Everyone has an innate desire to be understood, to be heard, and to be validated. This is why close relationships can be so powerful.

They give us the opportunity to connect with others in ways that allow both individuals to be seen, respected, loved, and really feel known by the other person. But as many of us have experienced, even burning love can cool down, and even couples who once had a deep emotional engagement with one another may find themselves feeling disconnected and dissatisfied.

As a clinical therapist of more than 20 years, I’ve sat with many disheartened couples who are confused about where their love has gone and why they don’t feel the same way about each other that they once did. There are a great number of reasons why a marriage or romantic relationship could be in distress, and I won’t attempt to solve or remedy all of them in a single article.  

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(Empathic Relationships) Empathy Improves Relationships

(Empathic Relationships) Empathy Improves Relationships | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
A successful, supportive intimate relationship can be one of the most rewarding relationships a person will ever have. But achieving this type of union can be challenging. For some couples, communication can seem one sided, and effective dialogue is rare.

 

However, licensed psychotherapist Julie Hanks, LCSW, reveals that couples can start down the path of healthy communication by developing empathy. In a recent article, Hanks explains how empathy can help partners avoid frustration and improve relationships.

 

 Hanks, J. (2012). Empathy: The secret sauce to a happy marriage. Retrieved from http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/love-sex/empathy-secret-sauce-happy-marriage-044200327.html

 

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Teaching Children Empathy  

Teaching Children Empathy   | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
By considering what a person feels you confirm the value of that person. Children become caring and loving individuals when their parents empathize with them. Research indicates that child neglect is associated with a lack of their parents’ emotional empathy.

 

A child learns empathy when she sees her mother hug a friend in distress. He learns empathy when he sees his dad help a neighbor. He learns empathy when his parents understand what he feels. A lack of empathy can result in antisocial behaviors, and many persons who are addicted seem to have impaired empathy.

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(Empathic Parenting) Why empathic limits help kids develop self discipline.

(Empathic Parenting) Why empathic limits help kids develop self discipline. | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

But kids also learn self discipline from the daily limits you set, as long as you set them with empathy. Why is empathy essential to this process? Because your child is less likely to struggle against the limit. She may not like your limit, but she feels your understanding and compassion.

 

She knows you're on her side. So she chooses to stop fighting for what she wants, so she can have something she wants more -- to stay lovingly connected to you, even to be "like" you. She chooses to regulate her own impulses. She accepts your limit, and even internalizes it -- makes it her own...

What does an empathic limit look like? Empathy is "feeling" the other person's point of view. Setting limits is informing your child of a rule or expectation. Here's how you combine them: 

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Empathy

Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

SUGGESTIONS FOR TEACHERS, SPECIALISTS, AND HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS


Focus on empathy by discussing this virtue and poster. To deepen it's meaning, focus on an activity, suggestion, book, or printable. Once an understanding of this trait has been achieved and demonstrated, present award(s). Visit my store to purchase similar virtue packets, awards, posters, and task cards.

INCLUDED RESOURCES
1. Suggested Activities
2. Suggested Activities Continued
3. Teaching Guide
4. Discussion Starter Questions
5. What Can I Show Empathy? Printable
6. Empathy Printable
7. Showing Empathy... Printable
8. How Would You Feel? Printable
9. Feelings Printable
10. What Does Empathy Mean? Printable
11. Empathy Acrostic Poem Printable
12. Empathy word Printable
13. Empathy Poster
14. Empathy Award
15. Empathy Vouchers
16. TOU and Credits

 

 

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Holding your partner's hand can ease their pain - The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic [pain relieving] effect

Holding your partner's hand can ease their pain - The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic [pain relieving] effect | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

They found that if her partner was allowed to hold her hand, she reported feeling lower levels of pain than if the couple merely sat next to one another.

Scientists believe that holding hands with a loved one activates an area of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex, which is associates with pain, empathy and heart functioning. ..

People 'subconsciously sync up' 

'The more empathic the partner and the stronger the analgesic [pain relieving] effect, the higher the synchronization between the two when they are touching,' said Dr Pavel Goldstein, from the University of Colorado at Boulder....

Empathetic' partners ease pain more 

'It appears that pain totally interrupts this interpersonal synchronization between couples,' Dr Goldstein said.

'Touch brings it back.'

His previous research found that the more empathy the man showed for the woman, the more her pain subsided during touch.

 

By DAISY DUNNE 

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(Empathic Family) 5 Tips for Raising an Empathetic Child — Starting in Preschool

(Empathic Family) 5 Tips for Raising an Empathetic Child — Starting in Preschool | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

06/21/2017

 

According to Nelson, there are five ways you can help your preschooler learn empathy:

1. Recognize and address your child’s needs.
A child’s needs and wants aren’t always convenient. If adult schedules interfere with nap time, it’s tempting to tell your child, “You can wait a few minutes.” But a “few minutes” can seem like an eternity to a sleepy 4-year-old. Validate your child’s feelings by saying instead, “I know you’re tired, and we’ll get home as soon as we can and then you can go right to sleep.”

2. Focus on feelings.
A child’s needs and wants aren’t always convenient

3. Teach verbal and non-verbal cues.

4. Use pretend play.

5. Encourage inclusion.

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The Parenting Guide to Teaching Teens About the Benefits of Empathy

The Parenting Guide to Teaching Teens About the Benefits of Empathy | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Empathy means the capacity to understand or feel what another person feels or experiences in any given situation. People can generally learn empathy at any given age, but a younger person’s mind is still growing and learning (and pretty self-centered).

 

As parent’s, we can help these young minds learn empathy as an important skill to foster healthy relationships as they age.

 

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Raising an empathetic child is down to the parents

Raising an empathetic child is down to the parents | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

Showing empathy is the result of many social-emotional skills that are...


Looking your child in the eye and making empathy-building a priority will lead to them building good relationships

 

We live in a world that has become increasingly social online, yet we seem to lack face-to-face contact more than ever. 

Yet, the fact is that there are many people in the world who are in distress and need our help. And parents know that it’s important to teach children to develop empathy and care for others instead of growing up to be self-centred individuals — a task that is increasingly difficult in a “selfie”-mad world.

 
BY BALVINDER SANDHU
 
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The 4 Best Ways to Teach Your Kids to Be Empathetic People (Plus an "Unselfie" Giveaway)

The 4 Best Ways to Teach Your Kids to Be Empathetic People (Plus an "Unselfie" Giveaway) | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

A couple of weeks ago, I listened to parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba, the author of UnSelfie speak about the importance of child empathy at an event that showcased Hasbro’s Be Fearless Be Kind philanthropic initiative.

 

This year, my husband Reggie and I are focusing on helping our kids grow as “givers” because they receive so many great things and experiences from family, friends and “blogger perks”. Since empathetic people tend to be givers, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t miss anything, so I taped Dr. Borba’s speech about the 4 best ways to teach your kids to be empathetic people.

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The Voice of an Empathic Parent Becomes Your Child's Inner Voice

The Voice of an Empathic Parent Becomes  Your Child's Inner Voice | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it
Tips on Being an Empathic Parent

1. Even in those very hurried moments, when your child tries to tell you something, interrupt what you’re doing and look them in the eye and listen. It may only take a second or lead to an important conversation. Being empathic means showing you care to listen.

 

 

 Laurie Hollman,

 

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(Empathic Relationships) 7 Reasons Why Empathy Is Important in a Relationship 

(Empathic Relationships) 7 Reasons Why Empathy Is Important in a Relationship  | Empathic Family & Parenting | Scoop.it

DEVENDRA VISHWAKARMA

 

7 Reasons Empathy Important Relationship It is not uncommon to disagree with another person’s views. Be it politics, religion, or something

 

Why is empathy so important?

If everyone in the world could empathize with each other, the world truly would be a better place. It is understandable that hoping for worldwide empathy is a long shot, so why not start slow and learn to empathize with your significant other? Here are 7 glaring reasons why empathy is very important in a relationship, and why you should be practicing this virtue.

 

#1 Bridge the divide.

#2 Give each other attention

#3 Bring out the positive.

#4 Compassion is practiced.

#5 Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

#6 It teaches patience.

#7 Work on your flaws.

 

 

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