Emotional Wisdom
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BlessingWhite enews: The Importance of Being Known

BlessingWhite enews: The Importance of Being Known | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it

Managers have the option of going beyond trust-at-a-distance and becoming known to their direct reports as a person. Yet many managers elect not to do this, hiding behind their title and remaining aloof. This is a missed opportunity because becoming known as a person to your team is one of the biggest facilitators of engagement.

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Emotional Wisdom
The Intelligence of Head and Heart
Curated by Tom Wojick
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How Gratitude Can Transform Your Workplace

How Gratitude Can Transform Your Workplace | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
When consultant Stephanie Pollack was brought in to work with the state chapter of a national nonprofit, morale was low. The organization was in the middle of a transformation that brought in new leadership, a new culture, new rules—and lots of tension and uncertainty. Her task? To teach appreciation and gratitude.
Tom Wojick's insight:

Last week I worked with a management group on infusing the value of quality into their culture. I asked each of them to reflect on a quote by Thoreau, " To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts."'  I then asked if there was one thing that would affect the quality of their day and they responded with gratitude and appreciation. 

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Stress Is Making You Micromanage, Which Is Making Everything Worse 

Stress Is Making You Micromanage, Which Is Making Everything Worse  | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it

Are you a micromanager? You will probably say no. Maybe you self-deprecatingly call yourself a “control freak.” Or just “hands-on.” You just “care too much.”

 

And it’s true: You do feel a certain need for a sense of control over your work. You are responsible, after all–perhaps more responsible than some of your coworkers or direct reports. You’re afraid of mistakes and believe that if something needs to be done well, you’d better do it yourself. But this isn’t just because you’re an “independent self-starter” who holds their work to a high standard. It might be that, too, but it’s probably also because you’re feeling stressed.


Via The Learning Factor
Tom Wojick's insight:

 Micro-managing is a stress response. Understanding it from this perspective can create an opening to change. The stress response is activated by a perception that one's emotional, psychological and or physical safety is at risk. The three F's: fight, freeze and flee are the primary reactions - micro-managing fits into the fight reaction. A fear that one's professional status as a manager is at risk.

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CCM Consultancy's curator insight, October 22, 1:44 AM

Work-related stress is a likely culprit. When you feel overwhelmed, you worry that you don’t have a good handle on things–so what do you do? You tighten your grip on everything. The first step to loosening it up (and reducing your own stress in the process) is simply recognizing the impact that your micromanaging is having.

Jerry Busone's curator insight, October 30, 8:07 AM

OVER SUPERVISING a bad habit from focusing on people and results and not their development level at tasks and goals to get there ...

Ivon Prefontaine, PhD's curator insight, November 13, 5:02 PM
Teaching is highly stressful. Do we end up micro-managing student learning and our teaching?
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People Who Spend Money On Experiences Instead Of Things Are Much Happier

When it's payday and that direct deposit hits your account, you tend to swipe your card more in a day than your thumb swipes through Facebook, Instagram and Tinder combined.
The instant gratification that comes along with the hefty price tags on new …
Tom Wojick's insight:

We know this to be true, but our consumer economy keeps trying to program us to buy stuff to find our happiness. This is very important for leaders and organizations who would be better off creating quality experiences instead of trying to use rewards and money to buy engagement.

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Forming Stronger Bonds with People at Work

Forming Stronger Bonds with People at Work | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it

Connecting with others is at the heart of human nature. Recent research emphasizes that the power of connections can help us be creative, resilient, even live longer. But we can easily overlook the importance of these bonds. As popular writer and researcher Adam Grant has noted, the pressure of tight deadlines and the pace of technology mean that fewer Americans are finding friendship in the workplace. In fact, many of us are further disconnecting from the people we work with: we’re more stressed out than ever, and half of us regularly experience incivility in our jobs.

 

How can we create possibilities for connection in what is sometimes a hostile atmosphere? We believe there needs to be more compassion.


Via The Learning Factor
Tom Wojick's insight:

Excellent article. All the points are important, but the practice of emphatic concern is critical in today's stressful climate.

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Robert Sullivan's curator insight, October 10, 5:37 PM

Studies say we are developing less friendships at work.....put down your phones and connect.....your company will only flourish long term if it has a good culture.......

David Stapleton's curator insight, October 17, 10:55 AM
Building a health relationship over all is a must
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Is Empathy Boss?

Is Empathy Boss? | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
The science behind soft skills--What really drives performance?
Tom Wojick's insight:

If you reflect and compile a list of the most positive work experiences and bosses you've had and what made them memorable and positive you will notice that empathy plays a  signification role.

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Getting to Cleveland: A Gratitude Conversation with Seth Godin - Gratefulness.org

Getting to Cleveland: A Gratitude Conversation with Seth Godin - Gratefulness.org | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
Tom Wojick's insight:

A great discussion on gratitude by Seth Godin and a lesson on EQ.

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'The Leading Brain': The Science of Achieving Peak Performance

'The Leading Brain': The Science of Achieving Peak Performance | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
A new book combines science with management techniques to offer strategies for peak performance.

Via donhornsby, Roy Sheneman, PhD
Tom Wojick's insight:

To achieve to peak performance develop your emotional intelligence.

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donhornsby's curator insight, May 17, 9:55 AM
There is one thing that determines the highest performance, and that is psychological safety.
 
Siva Sai Varma Datla's curator insight, July 14, 12:17 AM

The Leading Brain..

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Why basing self-esteem on money could make you sad - Futurity

Why basing self-esteem on money could make you sad - Futurity | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
More money-minded, more problems? A new study finds tying your self-esteem to how much money you have is a recipe for misery.
Tom Wojick's insight:

Leaders who have an ROI mindset will expose themselves to having significantly more negative and unpleasant feelings, which will affect their ability to lead when they need it the most.  “We found that people who highly based their self-worth on financial success used more negative emotion-related words, like sadness and anger,”

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How Do Kids See the World on a Family Trip?

How Do Kids See the World on a Family Trip? | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
We gave 10 families a 360 video camera to show us a family trip through the eyes of a child. Their views varied widely and wildly.
Tom Wojick's insight:

The article and accompanying videos are great! Seeing the world thru eyes of some other than your self is great way to experience not just the visual, but as importantly the emotional experience. When viewing the video's identify the emotions you notice in the children. Being emotionally intelligent is learning to notice and understand how others are emotionally experiencing their circumstances, events and the world.  

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Outbreaks hinge on sick people caring about others - Futurity

Outbreaks hinge on sick people caring about others - Futurity | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
How long an outbreak of the flu or a stomach bug lasts may depend on how much empathy sick people have for their work colleagues and friends.
Tom Wojick's insight:

Quick get the empathy in the medicine cabinet!

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Ask Why: How to Motivate Yourself to Keep Going When Things Get Hard

Ask Why: How to Motivate Yourself to Keep Going When Things Get Hard | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
It's tempting to give up when things get hard, but the impossible becomes possible when you fuel the fire in your belly with a strong motivating reason.
Tom Wojick's insight:

In my work with individual leaders and with organizations the first ground we address is what is your why. If the goal is to become a  more influential leader or creating a stronger culture of safety  - the why is the critical piece of the puzzle . Another way to position the why is purpose, north star or noble goal, but it is ineffective to pursue the what and how without knowing your why. My why/noble goal is, to awaken, inspire and empower human potential to create a safer and more just world. What's your why?

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How it feels when people see you as less human - Futurity

How it feels when people see you as less human - Futurity | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
"Feeling not only disliked, but dehumanized by another group has a profound effect on people," says Emile Bruneau.
Tom Wojick's insight:

Great leaders know the power of emotions and use them to connect with people. They use them to show respect and to gain respect. They use emotions in a safe way - they use them to build trust. Abraham Lincoln was probably one of our most emotionally intelligent leaders. He didn't create fear, he didn't belittle and he didn't use emotions as weapons.

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Touchy moms may boost 'social brain' in kids - Futurity

Touchy moms may boost 'social brain' in kids - Futurity | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
New research "suggests that there is a positive relationship between how much kids are touched and how sensitive they are to the social environment."
Tom Wojick's insight:

Could touching and hugs be a critical element in the development of emotional intelligence? This research indicates they are.

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Opinion | Happiness Is Other People

Opinion | Happiness Is Other People | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
The solitary journey toward contentment is a self-help truism that isn’t really true.
Tom Wojick's insight:

Are Smart phones making us inter-personally inept? Are you noticing that your moments of  happiness are less frequent and the duration and intensity less fulling? This article highlights a growing trend that might be contributing to the many ills we are experiencing in our society today. If we don't spend time with people than how do we learn how to relate, understand and empathize?  "Americans in general are spending less and less time actually connecting with other people. Nearly half of all meals eaten in this country are now eaten alone. Teenagers and young millennial's are spending less time just “hanging out” with their friends than any generation in recent history, replacing real-world interaction with smartphones."

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New research: 22x more likely to be high performing • Six Seconds

New research: 22x more likely to be high performing • Six Seconds | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
What happens when organizations prioritize emotional intelligence development? New research shows a remarkable effect.
Tom Wojick's insight:

The power of emotions - bottom line results. There aren't many initiatives that can get you 22x ROI. This research indicates that  ROE Return on Emotions (Q) can.

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How Much Does Poor EQ Cost Your Company And What Are You Planning To Do About it?

How Much Does Poor EQ Cost Your Company And What Are You Planning To Do About it? | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
The average costs of Employee Disengagement is $4500-5500 per year.
Tom Wojick's insight:

Employee disengagement is a bottom line and safety issue! And it isn't a factor of  matter how smart managers are, but how they are smart. IQ is a ticket to management and leadership positions but being EQ smart is the factor that most affects employee engagement, motivation, commitment and loyalty. In fact it improves the bottom line and safety performance of and organization.

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Why most CEOs lack emotional intelligence

Why most CEOs lack emotional intelligence | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
As I looked into Igor’s face, it was imperative that I accurately interpret his reaction to my words. Emotional intelligence is not taught at the FBI Academy, but it was essential for me to understand the difference between anxiety and sadness when interviewing people like Igor. I needed to know whether I could trust him to help me in my investigation. You may never need to interview an individual whom you suspect of being a foreign spy. It is possible, however, that you will need to impress a new client or calm down an frustrated customer.

Via Kevin Watson, Roger Francis, Roy Sheneman, PhD
Tom Wojick's insight:

Maybe most do lack EQ, however the good news is they can explore,  learn and strengthen this critical leadership competency. 6seconds.org is a great resource to begin the process.

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Jose Luis Yañez's curator insight, September 29, 4:38 PM
Why most CEOs lack emotional intelligence
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How To Know When You Need A Mental Health Day

How To Know When You Need A Mental Health Day | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
If we treated mental health more like physical health, no one would question why you'd need a day off from work to take care of yourself.
Tom Wojick's insight:

This article caught my attention for two reasons. First, is that we all need to recognize when we need a day to restore and re-balance our emotional and physical being. As always our emotions are keys to recognizing when we need a mental health day. The second is that millions of workers in the USA can't take a day even if they are sick without causing more stress.  Most workers don't have paid sick or vacation leave and would lose income they desperately need to live. When I hear the clamor of how unfair our regulations are to businesses I think about an issue like this - workers who must choose between two bad choices.

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Opinion | Donald Trump Poisons the World

Opinion | Donald Trump Poisons the World | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
This White House is an axis of selfishness, which explains its suspicion of cooperative global arrangements, like NATO and the Paris climate accord.
Tom Wojick's insight:

 David Brooks' article presents the consequences of world views. A view of survival of the fittest and one of cooperation. One of self-interest and the other of social-interest. An emotionally intelligent view and one that is emotionally constricted. Which view fits for you, your children, your community, your country. A view that supports quality of life for the many and a view that supports wealth for the few. Which world view will you feel and be the safest in?

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Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg Shares the Key to Creating Chemistry at the Top

Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg Shares the Key to Creating Chemistry at the Top | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
It’s no surprise that the most successful companies have great leadership teams at the top. Dubbed Silicon Valley’s “oddest couple” by The New York Times, together Sheryl Sandberg and Mark Zuckerberg have driven Facebook’s astronomical growth and supported one another along the way.

I recently connected with Sheryl for my Office Hours podcast series to discuss what’s behind Facebook’s success and her partnership with Mark – it’s a dynamic countless CEOs and COOs dream of having. In a relationship as critical as the one at the top, how do you create open lines of communication, respect differences and grow the business together? If we take Sheryl and Mark as the model, it boils down to three things: carve out time to communicate, prioritize the relationship and find a partner who shares your values.

As with any healthy relationship, open communication is key according to Sheryl. Despite their well-documented differences – from their backgrounds to their working styles and even clothing (she dresses up; he’s usually found in a hoodie) – Sheryl and Mark both believe in open communication. For them, that means 1:1s at the beginning and end of every week.

Via David Hain
Tom Wojick's insight:

The key to pulling this off is emotional intelligence.

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David Hain's curator insight, May 17, 5:38 AM

How the 'odd couple' keep `Facebook moving. It's not rocket science, but it often doesn't happen...

Ron McIntyre's curator insight, May 18, 1:19 PM

What do you think?

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Are 'machine values' replacing our principles? - Futurity

Are 'machine values' replacing our principles? - Futurity | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
"We are losing empathy, compassion, truth-telling, fairness, and responsibility and replacing them with all these machine values," says Michael Bugeja.
Tom Wojick's insight:

Warning: “We are losing empathy, compassion, truth-telling, fairness, and responsibility and replacing them with all these machine values,” Bugeja says. “If we embed ourselves in technology, what happens to those universal principles that have stopped wars and elevated human consciousness and conscience above more primitive times in history?”

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Skills for the Future: Break Patterns and Surprise Yourself, says Harvard’s Michael Puett

Skills for the Future: Break Patterns and Surprise Yourself, says Harvard’s Michael Puett | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
What are the key skills for the future? In our special multi-part series, experts share valuable and surprising insights we can use to build tomorrow’s world. In this part Harvard professor Michael Puett explains the skill of breaking patterns and its impact on your life, your leadership, and on the people you interact with.
The best thing about listening to someone who challenges your day-to-day assumptions is that you learn something about yourself. Michael Puett, Harvard’s tall and boyish-looking expert on ancient China, certainly made me think when he explained how we are ruled by patterns, and how we can live better lives if we learn to break those patterns. I felt sorry when his talk at The School of Life (London, February 2017) came to an end after 2 hours. I would like to meet him again.
Here are the best insights Michael Puett shared with us in London (I leave his high-pitched voice and frequent smiles to your imagination):

Via David Hain
Tom Wojick's insight:

One of the competencies of the 6 Seconds model of emotional intelligence is Recognizing Patterns. It was one of the most powerful and revealing one for me. Patterns operate under our radar, but learning to be aware of our emotions that cue our patterns is critical to changing and breaking a pattern that is not working for you.

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David Hain's curator insight, March 21, 6:18 AM

What are the patterns in your life. maybe they are the key to your growth...?

Ron McIntyre's curator insight, March 21, 2:25 PM

What do you think?

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Oxytocin may drive dads to nurture their toddlers - Futurity

Oxytocin may drive dads to nurture their toddlers - Futurity | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
After a "snort" of oxytocin, the brains of dads changed in response to photos of their toddlers. Could hormones reform lackluster fathers?
Tom Wojick's insight:

I think the world needs more oxytocin than testosterone. 
For sometime we've know that oxytocin hormone increased bonding between mothers and infants and it is alsorelated to trust. Dr. Paul Zak has done extensive research on the affects of oxytocin on human relationships and also the trust in a culture an it's affects on the economies and cultures. We could all use a little nasal whiff of oxytocin.

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From Individuals to Teams: the Importance of Emotional Intelligence - Meeteor

From Individuals to Teams: the Importance of Emotional Intelligence - Meeteor | Emotional Wisdom | Scoop.it
Inspired by Goleman’s work, researchers Vanessa Druskat and Steven Wolff looked at emotional intelligence at the group level. They found that “just like individuals, the most effective teams are emotionally intelligent ones,” and that “a group’s Emotional Intelligence isn’t simply the sum of its members.”
Instead, if you think about a group as one entity, a group’s emotional intelligence is its ability to create a shared set of norms that manage the emotional process. These norms help a group build trust, establish identity, and achieve results. By establishing norms at three levels of interaction – the individuals within a team, the team itself, and the team interacting with other teams – leaders can help their teams build awareness of and manage emotions.

Via David Hain
Tom Wojick's insight:

Emotionally intelligent teams work and play better together. First step as a team leader - develop your EQ.

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David Hain's curator insight, February 8, 4:00 AM

EQ tips for better team collaboration.

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What is Learning? Emotional Intelligence for an Adventure of Growth

What is learning? It’s a process of growth… starting at a neurological level, new connections forming… At work, in life, and hopefully in every classroom, people are working to teach and learn. It’s a mental process — but current neuroscience confirms learning is also physical, social, and emotional. Are you someone committed to learning and helping others learn? If so, perhaps you’ve considered:
How does learning work best?
In the Six Seconds community, we’re starting this year focused on this big question and understanding the role of emotions and emotional intelligence as our brains build new insight and meaning. The adventure starts now with five essential highlights (plus inspiring learning quotes) below.

Via David Hain
Tom Wojick's insight:

Learning is a full body contact sport without concern for concussions!

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David Hain's curator insight, January 27, 6:47 AM

Learning is fairly Darwinian - those of us who do it best tend to thrive. Worth looking at this useful resource, then...?