I've heard the following five common beliefs about conflict repeatedly during my two decades as a mediator. All five miss the mark in important ways.
Guy Harris's insight:
Tammy has great thoughts and insights about conflict and conflict resolution. This article is helpful for understanding how so much of what is "common knowledge" about conflict resolution is, at best, unfounded and, possibly, harmful.
Many of these messages contain trigger words they alert me to marketing language or truth-stretching. Sometimes, trigger words tell me the person is not being sincere (for example, when they say "sincerely"). As such, I try to root out this kind of language from my own email communications. Here are 10 words I aim to avoid:
Here's my favourite trigger word. When an incoming message has the word "unfortunately" followed by a comma, I know the person sending it is not being that sincere. It's a dismissive word--the sender is saying they have the power and, unfortunately, you don't.
I like these insights into the unintended meanings and messages attached to words that many of us (including me) frequently use without giving the full impact or real meaning of the word proper consideration before we use it.
For most people, emotional intelligence (EI) is more important than one's intelligence to attain success in their lives and careers. As individuals, our success depends on our ability to read other people's signals and react ...
I used to work with a colleague on the opposite coast, so her day started three hours before mine. And so, it was quite typical to check my voicemail first thing in the morning and hear an angry voice: “Lea, it’s Petra. Call me as soon as you get in.” Just listening her messages was exhausting, and the return phone calls were equally draining. Not a fun way to start the day.
In my entire career, she was the most difficult person I’ve ever worked with. You see, Petra was incredibly negative. Every conversation was full of drama: She’d ramble on about a bunch of issues she was having with a partner company, for example, then tell me I’d better get them straightened out. In the end, not only did I have to put out fires with the partner, but I also had to fight battles on my own team to get anything done. (It’s comical to note that I outranked Petra—and that she had created nearly all of the problems!)
I believe that it helps to have a wide range of tactics and techniques at your disposal for the many kinds of "people problems" you are likely to encounter in your career. In this article, Lea offers some great tips that you can add to your communication and conflict resolution "tool kit".
The One Leadership Trait That Separates Superachievers From Underperformers Forbes Those leaders who sought my counsel already had excellent presentation and public-speaking skills. I started writing books and, sure enough, the pattern emerged again.
Guy Harris's insight:
Excellent observations about the power of humility and keeping, what I call, a 'learners attitude."
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