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SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS
What Your Mama Never Told You. Tips for Concious Connection.
Curated by PAT NOVAK
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How You're Ruining Your Relationship

How You're Ruining Your Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Plus: 5 ways you block love.

 

Are you creating a wedge between you and the men who love you? If you're favoring your masculine side too much, you sure are!

We all want to experience true love. Being in a healthy, loving relationship is an absolutely magical feeling. But if you're a strong, capable, independent woman, you could be unknowingly blocking yourself from love.

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Ask a Guy: What Do Guys Like In a Girl?

Ask a Guy: What Do Guys Like In a Girl? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

What do guys like in a girl?  What makes a guy want to date a girl versus not seeing her as “girlfriend material”?  What do men want in a woman that makes them see them as a catch?”

 

There are going to be differences from guy to guy, but I’m going to try and keep the discussion of “what men want” to the most universal items possible.

I think it’s important to make the distinction between what men want in a relationship andwhat men want with a woman.  Moreover, we also need to factor in what men want in their life.

We need to look at all three areas because they are interconnected.  When you know what men want, then you’ll naturally know what makes a man choose one girl to be his girl for the long term.

First, what do men want in their life?


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Melissa Moore's curator insight, April 2, 2013 4:51 PM

Cool segment for a female lead show...'Ask a Guy' - 

Ari Meier's curator insight, July 30, 2013 11:07 PM

The inside scoop, what do guys like in girls?

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Looking for Mr. Right when all you see is Mr. Wrong

Looking for Mr. Right when all you see is Mr. Wrong | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

By Sophia Elise and Lady Sarah

 

The elusive search for Mr. Right keeps women on a relationship treadmill. Even when they feel they have located the perfect partner, they realize later that he was not. Sometimes, instead of kicking Mr. Wrong to the curb, and going out in search of another Mr. Right, they choose to waste their time in an attempt to transform this Mr. Wrong into the Mr. Right they yearn for. Unfortunately, there is no switch to flip, button to push or magic that can be done to turn him into the right guy. Waiting for him to transform himself into Mr. Ideal will not happen either, at least not in this century.

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6 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

6 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

He may come off as the charming nice guy, but be on the lookout for these behaviors.

 

"I didn't see it coming," said Gina (not her real name). "The chemistry was through the roof, the sex off the charts! I thought he was my soul mate. And then he disappeared. I'm devastated." My client Gina had dated another narcissist, a man who cared more about his needs than hers, a guy who ran for the hills when Gina began to fall in love.

 
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Mad About You: The Upside of Jealousy

Mad About You: The Upside of Jealousy | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Just the right amount of jealousy can keep you and your mate from drifting apart, but there's a fine line between crazy in love and just plain crazy

 

The Upside of Jealousy
How does this seemingly unpleasant emotion benefit your twosome? Like so.

 

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How To Fall In Love (And Stay In Love)

How To Fall In Love (And Stay In Love) | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Want to walk into the sunset ever after with that special person? Let me share a few pointers with you right now.

Begin With The End In Mind

 

"I want to remind you of a very powerful success principle that works in any area of your life. It says that you should always begin with the end in mind."

 

Read more: http://bit.ly/12GTRM0

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Why You Are Struggling in Relationships

Why You Are Struggling in Relationships | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Pain, rejection, loneliness, abandonment are some of the many things that couples feel when struggling in relationships.

It’s difficult indeed to ignore such emotions, especially when they become a pattern. Many of us are unaware of their root cause and that the key to having a truthful, loving relationship with our partner is to mirror the nurturing relationship we have with our inner child.

The inner child is a very powerful voice that resides deep in our being. It talks to us about fear, hurt, needs that are not being met, the safety that it is longing for and the love that it hungers for.

Read more: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6894/Why-You-Are-Struggling-in-Relationships.html

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5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
“Toxic” doesn’t only entail obvious damage like physical abuse, stealing, or name-calling. It also represents the internal turmoil that results from an unhealthy relationship.

“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.” ~Billy Wilder

I’ve had my share of toxic relationships, or at least what I thought was toxic. Is it fair to say you have too? My guess is that we’ve all endured the company of people who were not shooting for our highest good.

As for me, the relationships that were the most debilitating and unhealthy gave me the feeling that I wasn’t taking care of myself spiritually, mentally, or physically like I should.

Read more: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship/
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The Whole Point of Every Relationship (is probably not what you think it is).

The Whole Point of Every Relationship (is probably not what you think it is). | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The whole point of a relationship is to set each other free.

At least enough to gain some intellectual insight that (hopefully) translates over time into a living breathing shift of being.

Turns out, it’s not about making each other happy, or any other kind of imagined perfection. It’s about helping the person in front of you be everything they truly are.

Here are some ways to do that.


Read more: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/11/the-whole-point-of-every-relationship-is-probably-not-what-you-think-it-is/
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The Relationship Lessons We Learn Too Late

The Relationship Lessons We Learn Too Late | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
You can't go back in time and fix all the romantic missteps of the past. But you can avoid them from now on.

Lesson #5: Own Up To Your .000001673928 Percent

When you're talking to yourself or your friends, your relationship dynamics seem really clear. Because...every single piece of evidence points to him being the one to blame for the house being a wreck and your being overtired. At night, you do the cooking and cleaning and the homework and bath for the kids. He eats! That's what he does! He eats! And then he reads a book to the kids and turns off the light. In other words (which are really the same thoughts), you are the giver. He is the taker. He is the problem.

Except that is never exactly the truth...

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/The-Relationship-Lessons-We-Learn-Too-Late/2#ixzz2BhoDXL2r
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Learning to Stop Clinging to People: Know That You Are Loved

Learning to Stop Clinging to People: Know That You Are Loved | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Sometimes we cling to people, looking for proof that we're loved. But we're only able to feel loved when we stop desperately searching for it.

“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I have a heart condition. Not one that you could see on an x-ray, or even one that you would find in a medical textbook.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt like my heart has had a gaping hole in it—and I’ve been stuffing anyone, anything into that space to try and feel a little less empty. A little less alone.

Read more: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/learning-to-stop-clinging-to-people-and-know-that-you-are-loved/
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10 Simple Ways to Grow a Relationship

10 Simple Ways to Grow a Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Anyone who has been in a relationship longer than 12 months understands how easy it is to fall into a rut. Today I challenge you to take responsibility for the state of your partnership and use your power to create excitement, joy and happiness that will last forever.

The following are 10 simple and powerful ways to grow a relationship:

1. Give up the need to be right. My husband leaves his shoes everywhere, under the coffee table, under the kitchen table, in the entryway etc. I spent the first years of our marriage trying to get him to pick up them up. It didn’t work. In an enlightened moment I decided to pick up his shoes without complaining and resentment. Soon I found myself happily taking care of his shoes and grateful for the opportunity!

Read more: http://www.thechangeblog.com/10-simple-powerful-ways-to-grow-a-relationship/
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Don't Think You're Happy

Don't Think You're Happy | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
::Written by Annie Lalla

If You Think You’re Happy, You’re Not!

Thinking you’re happy doesn’t get you there.

Happiness is a feeling in your body, it’s a matrix of 
sensations that arise in your physiology, not in your 
head.

In fact, you cannot be happy in your mind. Our head 
is where we go to avoid intense feelings – happy or
 otherwise...

...for each of us, there’s only so much pleasure we can handle before our mind starts taking consciousness away from our body (too much sensation) and creating narratives in our mind that occur as: fantasies, anxieties, worries, reasons and excuses or complaints.

Read more: http://annielalla.com/2012/06/15/dont-think-youre-happy/
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How to Know When You've Found Your Soul Mate

How to Know When You've Found Your Soul Mate | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Many of us have pondered the concept of soul mates before. What is a soul mate? Do I have one? And if so, where is mine? The idea that there is one special person created just for you is too juicy not to consider. I definitely believe in soul mates, but my definition extends beyond the traditional idea of The One.

 

What I believe is that a soul mate is a person with whom you are unexplainably drawn to be in relationship. Soul mates are brought into your life so that you can grow and expand into the best version of yourself.

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Melissa Moore's curator insight, April 2, 2013 4:31 PM

Possible phoner:  Soul mates are an expired concept...can there really be just 1 person for each of us in the world? 

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10 Types Of Men Who (Fortunately) Won't Marry You

10 Types Of Men Who (Fortunately) Won't Marry You | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Have you ever wondered if there are guys out there that simply will not marry you? Are there certain men from whom you should just stay away because chances are, the relationship is going to be an exercise in frustration for you? You are not alone -- many women think about this all the time. And yes, there are certain types of men that you should just plain avoid because if you were playing the odds, the odds say these guys are just not going to seal the deal with you.


Here are 10 types of men that I, as a professional matchmaker, would recommend you steer clear of:

 
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Mr. Right Is Not Real

Mr. Right Is Not Real | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Is your Prince Charming a no-show? That's because men are people—not fictionalized characters. Learn why you may need to wake up from your romantic fantasy to find true love

 

You might have a list that goes like this: "Hot. Smart. Rich. Sweet. Likes his mom. Has hair. Tall-ish." It's your ideal guy, in bullet points, and if you can't find someone who's able to check off every single quality, well then, you'll just have to keep looking. We put our Barbie and Ken dolls away ages ago, but the perfect-mate idea still looms—so much so that it's even popping up in some women's therapy sessions. "I've seen many women who are fixated on finding Mr. Right," says clinical psychologist Jennifer Taitz, Psy.D.

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Anyone Criticizing Ben Affleck’s Acceptance Speech Doesn’t Understand Marriage

Anyone Criticizing Ben Affleck’s Acceptance Speech Doesn’t Understand Marriage | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Did you see Ben Affleck’s speech accepting the Best Picture award last night? If not, he made a moving and authentic statement about marriage. Read more about it here.

The part that has people in a tizzy is this:

 

"I want to thank you for working on marriage for ten Christmases. It’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with."

PAT NOVAK's insight:

So True.. So Honest.

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Laura Brown's comment, February 27, 2013 3:35 PM
How do you read it? I just get a big blob of a pop up window. No way to close it that I can see.
PAT NOVAK's comment, February 28, 2013 10:36 PM
What link? It goes right to the article for me.
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Let's Talk About The Orgasm

Let's Talk About The Orgasm | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
In 2009, I walked onto the TED stage and gave a talk that included video of a Danish pig inseminator. The topic of the talk was orgasm, and the video related to a centuries-old debate over "upsuck."

 

The same goal-directed, out-of-the-box thinking that led to the sow stimulation plan, that led Masters and Johnson into the lab with their cervical caps and six bold women, lies squarely at the heart of TED.- Mary Roach   
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Ari Meier's curator insight, July 30, 2013 11:09 PM

We talk about this all the time (maybe...)but it's still misunderstood.

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Even Cupid Wants to Know Your Credit Score

Even Cupid Wants to Know Your Credit Score | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The credit score, once a little-known metric, has become a factor in dating decisions, eclipsing traditional priorities like a good job or shared interests.

 

“Credit scores are like the dating equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease test,” said Manisha Thakor, the founder and chief executive of MoneyZen Wealth Management, a financial advisory firm. “It’s a shorthand way to get a sense of someone’s financial past the same way an S.T.D. test gives some information about a person’s sexual past.”

 

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What behavior signals if a woman or man is interested in someone?

What behavior signals if a woman or man is interested in someone? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Via Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains--The Science Behind Sex, Love, & Attraction: The number one tip-off that a woman was interested in a man for more than friendship was her own speaking rate.

Did she talk smoothly and quickly (a good sign), or hesitantly and awkwardly?

A short but interesting piece.

Read more: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/what-behavior-signals-if-a-woman-or-man-is-in/
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Expert: Guys don’t want casual sex!

Expert: Guys don’t want casual sex! | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Most men aren't sex-crazed Casanovas, a researcher argues. They're in search of relationships, not one-night stands.

He’s got one thing on his mind and one thing only: sex. Namely, how to get it as often and with as many different women as humanly possible. He’s become a staple of modern comedies, from “Porky’s” to “American Pie” to “Superbad,” and he’s what research psychologist Andrew P. Smiler calls the “Casanova stereotype.”

This popular conception of young men is the subject of Smiler’s new book, “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male.” This stereotype “tells us that guys are primarily interested in sex, not relationships,” he writes. “This contributes to the notion that guys are emotional clods who are incapable of connecting with their partners because, hey, they’re just guys, and guys are only interested in sex. “ The result is the belief that “guys shouldn’t be expected to achieve any type of ‘real’ emotional intimacy with their partners.”

Read more: http://www.salon.com/2012/11/18/expert_guys_dont_want_casual_sex/
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Laura Brown's comment, December 2, 2012 3:20 AM
Where do they find these guys? I don't seem to be finding men like this. The only men I meet are unavailable to all to available.
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7 Strategies to Transform a Broken Heart

7 Strategies to Transform a Broken Heart | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
By Ronald Alexander

How can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? …Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again. - the Bee Gee’s 1971 Hit Song

When we suffer a deep loss or trauma our hearts can literally feel that they have been shattered into a million pieces. Or we feel that our heart has broken open and we are bleeding metaphorically. At times it can even be difficult to breathe. Our heart is both a living organ that is our life source as well as an emotional mind/body metaphor referred to when we experience heartache and sorrow. It’s as if the heart that beats to an electrical energy wave becomes short circuited and burns out, flares out or is broken into many tiny pieces.

Read more: http://omtimes.com/2012/11/7-strategies-to-transform-a-broken-heart/
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Limbic Revision: How Love Rewires the Brain

Limbic Revision: How Love Rewires the Brain | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
:: by Maria Popova

On the capacity for transformation and its prerequisite of letting go.

"Who we are and who we become depends, in part, on whom we love."

A General Theory of Love is one of 5 favorite books on the psychology of love and the kind of read you keep coming back to again and again, finding a new layer of insight into a different stage or aspect of your life each time.

Read more: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/06/25/limbic-revision/
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What is Your Relationship Showing You?

What is Your Relationship Showing You? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint Exupery

I remember when this quote had resonance. It was during a time when my husband and I worked as a team. Our eyes were looking outward toward the island of Maui from our suburban home in Minnesota. While we faced the same direction, we tore down the life we were only beginning to build...

I remember in the beginning of our marriage—I wanted to leave many times. Of course, I made him be the reason why that would make sense.

But, what it really was is this: I did not like the woman who was showing up in my marriage. She went against my marriage vows. She was not who I expected.

Read more: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/10/what-is-your-relationship-showing-you-nikki-di-virgilio/
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Are you dating a narcissist? Take our quiz

Are you dating a narcissist? Take our quiz | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Confidence. It’s attractive in a man. But when dating, sometimes it’s hard to determine where his healthy ego starts and narcissism begins. Is your man in love with you? Or himself? Or rather, does this sound familiar?

Initially, you buy into this inflated image,” says Gail Saltz, a psychoanalyst from New York. “But eventually, you come to realize the difference between confidence and insecurity covered over with swagger.”

Take the quiz : http://metronews.ca/health/381990/are-you-dating-a-narcissist-take-our-quiz/
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