SEX | DATING | RE...
Follow
13.3K views | +1 today
SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS
What Your Mama Never Told You
Curated by PAT NOVAK
Your new post is loading...
Your new post is loading...
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Expert: Guys don’t want casual sex!

Expert: Guys don’t want casual sex! | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Most men aren't sex-crazed Casanovas, a researcher argues. They're in search of relationships, not one-night stands.

He’s got one thing on his mind and one thing only: sex. Namely, how to get it as often and with as many different women as humanly possible. He’s become a staple of modern comedies, from “Porky’s” to “American Pie” to “Superbad,” and he’s what research psychologist Andrew P. Smiler calls the “Casanova stereotype.”

This popular conception of young men is the subject of Smiler’s new book, “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male.” This stereotype “tells us that guys are primarily interested in sex, not relationships,” he writes. “This contributes to the notion that guys are emotional clods who are incapable of connecting with their partners because, hey, they’re just guys, and guys are only interested in sex. “ The result is the belief that “guys shouldn’t be expected to achieve any type of ‘real’ emotional intimacy with their partners.”

Read more: http://www.salon.com/2012/11/18/expert_guys_dont_want_casual_sex/
more...
Laura Brown's comment, December 2, 2012 3:20 AM
Where do they find these guys? I don't seem to be finding men like this. The only men I meet are unavailable to all to available.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

7 Strategies to Transform a Broken Heart

7 Strategies to Transform a Broken Heart | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
By Ronald Alexander

How can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? …Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again. - the Bee Gee’s 1971 Hit Song

When we suffer a deep loss or trauma our hearts can literally feel that they have been shattered into a million pieces. Or we feel that our heart has broken open and we are bleeding metaphorically. At times it can even be difficult to breathe. Our heart is both a living organ that is our life source as well as an emotional mind/body metaphor referred to when we experience heartache and sorrow. It’s as if the heart that beats to an electrical energy wave becomes short circuited and burns out, flares out or is broken into many tiny pieces.

Read more: http://omtimes.com/2012/11/7-strategies-to-transform-a-broken-heart/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Limbic Revision: How Love Rewires the Brain

Limbic Revision: How Love Rewires the Brain | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
:: by Maria Popova

On the capacity for transformation and its prerequisite of letting go.

"Who we are and who we become depends, in part, on whom we love."

A General Theory of Love is one of 5 favorite books on the psychology of love and the kind of read you keep coming back to again and again, finding a new layer of insight into a different stage or aspect of your life each time.

Read more: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/06/25/limbic-revision/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

What is Your Relationship Showing You?

What is Your Relationship Showing You? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint Exupery

I remember when this quote had resonance. It was during a time when my husband and I worked as a team. Our eyes were looking outward toward the island of Maui from our suburban home in Minnesota. While we faced the same direction, we tore down the life we were only beginning to build...

I remember in the beginning of our marriage—I wanted to leave many times. Of course, I made him be the reason why that would make sense.

But, what it really was is this: I did not like the woman who was showing up in my marriage. She went against my marriage vows. She was not who I expected.

Read more: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/10/what-is-your-relationship-showing-you-nikki-di-virgilio/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Are you dating a narcissist? Take our quiz

Are you dating a narcissist? Take our quiz | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Confidence. It’s attractive in a man. But when dating, sometimes it’s hard to determine where his healthy ego starts and narcissism begins. Is your man in love with you? Or himself? Or rather, does this sound familiar?

Initially, you buy into this inflated image,” says Gail Saltz, a psychoanalyst from New York. “But eventually, you come to realize the difference between confidence and insecurity covered over with swagger.”

Take the quiz : http://metronews.ca/health/381990/are-you-dating-a-narcissist-take-our-quiz/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Will You Marry Me?

Will You Marry Me? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Are you ready? The time has come to marry yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of your relationship with others.


There are so many books on relationships. How to get a man. How to keep a man. How to find your soulmate. How to be the best lover. How to make a woman fall in love with you.

But the most important relationship is with you.

You are the one that you have been seeking.
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Boring Sex, Begone!

Boring Sex, Begone! | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Is your sex life lacking?These simple moves will seriously ratchet up the heat of your carnal couplings...

It happens: Sex sessions go on autopilot, and before you know it your bedroom routine is as stale as week-old bread. But you're not going down like that, sister! To shake things up, you don't have to whip out chains and edible undies (unless you're feelin' them). "Just make small changes," says psychologist Lori Boul, Ph.D., author of DIY Sex and Relationship Therapy. "You get the payoff without the anxiety you might feel when suggesting a major leap." Need some erotic inspiration? Read on.



Read more at Women's Health: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/sex-changes#ixzz250QUXRAV

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Talk Nerdy to Me: Tech for Hotter Sex

Talk Nerdy to Me: Tech for Hotter Sex | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The latest tools worthy of your love, and the secrets to Skypeing, sexting, and surfing your way to a hotter sex life...


A 2011 study found that couples who watched porn together reported a high level of sexual satisfaction. No wonder: Steamy TV and movies can set the mood, but porn can help push you over the Big-O edge, says Violet Blue, author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn. A lot of Web stuff is cringe-worthy, but producers are creating more female-friendly films with plots, teasing, and foreplay. Here, sultry recs for every porn personality.

Read more: http://bit.ly/RcLUHC
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

How To Own Your Beauty Whatever Your Size or Shape

How To Own Your Beauty Whatever Your Size or Shape | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
We have all seen incredible precedents of a woman who is not particularly beautiful, but who can captivate us with her extraordinary beauty, and soon we are completely under her spell. And vice versa, a woman with great attributes we barely notice. The big deciding factor is how she feels on the inside.

If she feels gorgeous then she is gorgeous, but it takes discipline to decide that you are beautiful. The act of loving yourself is radical self care. It’s a revolutionary decision to make, to look in that mirror, decide that you are hot and fabulous, amazing and fierce, and just unbelievably compelling.

It’s war out there. The culture will eat away at a woman’s confidence everyday.

Read more: http://bit.ly/P5wIsH
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

French Feminine Secret #2: Stop Chasing Happiness

French Feminine Secret #2: Stop Chasing Happiness | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

“If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.”
~Edith Wharton


Cheer Up!
Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
Put on a Happy Face!
Smile, dammit!
Dust yourself off and put a smile on that face of yours!
Rah-rah-rah!


Just reading this exhausts me. Yet, these are the cultural messages that we grow up facing from a very young age. And, this is what I chased for many, many years!


What if we stopped chasing happiness and accepted that moodiness, gloom and not so stellar days were not something to avoid but allow? The French show that we would probably eat less, buy less and worry less.


Read more: http://bit.ly/N2uita

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Introducing - The Full Body Orgasm.....

Introducing - The Full Body Orgasm..... | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Oh yes, you read correctly. Contrary to what you may believe this isn’t some mythical illusion dreamt up in the porn industry or down the local pub with the boys. It does exist.


“A full body orgasm is the experience of feeling your whole body vibrating with orgasmic energy. This can be done outside of a sexual context as well as while making love…..anyone can learn how to have a full body orgasm.” – Tantric News


Sounds promising! So before you lock your bedroom door and dim the lights, there’s a few things you need to learn before we send you on your happy way.


Read more: Introducing - The Full Body Orgasm..... | FinerMinds http://bit.ly/KTMgNi

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Understand Your Man

Understand Your Man | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Do you struggle with understanding the man in your life at times? As women, we often want to know what makes our men tick, what he is thinking, does he still love me like he use to and the list goes on.


Studies have shown that there are specific differences in man that we as women will always struggle to understand. For starters, a women’s #1 need is to feel loved while a man’s #1 need is RESPECT! Experts have also discovered that there are actually differences in the way women’s and men’s brains are structured and in the way they react to events and stimuli.


Men are not able to multi-task as well as women because they compartmentalize their thoughts. We all know that men and women are wired differently, but did you know that the different ways we are wired can actually compliment each other?


Read more: Understand Your Man | Tracie Nolde | Women.com http://bit.ly/LoSvdn

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

We Have To Stop Calling Girls “Crazy”

We Have To Stop Calling Girls “Crazy” | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Do we realize that by claiming that women are “crazy,” by constantly telling it to each other, and letting women know that this is what we think about them — that we perpetuate some serious awful sh-t?


We’re invalidating feelings. Making a mockery of the heart. We scoff at their possible rage or sadness and then wonder why they come back twice as livid. We wonder why some women won’t open up to us...


Read more: We Have To Stop Calling Girls “Crazy” | Thought Catalog http://bit.ly/LncW9G

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

The Whole Point of Every Relationship (is probably not what you think it is).

The Whole Point of Every Relationship (is probably not what you think it is). | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The whole point of a relationship is to set each other free.

At least enough to gain some intellectual insight that (hopefully) translates over time into a living breathing shift of being.

Turns out, it’s not about making each other happy, or any other kind of imagined perfection. It’s about helping the person in front of you be everything they truly are.

Here are some ways to do that.


Read more: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/11/the-whole-point-of-every-relationship-is-probably-not-what-you-think-it-is/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

The Relationship Lessons We Learn Too Late

The Relationship Lessons We Learn Too Late | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
You can't go back in time and fix all the romantic missteps of the past. But you can avoid them from now on.

Lesson #5: Own Up To Your .000001673928 Percent

When you're talking to yourself or your friends, your relationship dynamics seem really clear. Because...every single piece of evidence points to him being the one to blame for the house being a wreck and your being overtired. At night, you do the cooking and cleaning and the homework and bath for the kids. He eats! That's what he does! He eats! And then he reads a book to the kids and turns off the light. In other words (which are really the same thoughts), you are the giver. He is the taker. He is the problem.

Except that is never exactly the truth...

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/The-Relationship-Lessons-We-Learn-Too-Late/2#ixzz2BhoDXL2r
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Learning to Stop Clinging to People: Know That You Are Loved

Learning to Stop Clinging to People: Know That You Are Loved | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Sometimes we cling to people, looking for proof that we're loved. But we're only able to feel loved when we stop desperately searching for it.

“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I have a heart condition. Not one that you could see on an x-ray, or even one that you would find in a medical textbook.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt like my heart has had a gaping hole in it—and I’ve been stuffing anyone, anything into that space to try and feel a little less empty. A little less alone.

Read more: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/learning-to-stop-clinging-to-people-and-know-that-you-are-loved/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

10 Simple Ways to Grow a Relationship

10 Simple Ways to Grow a Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Anyone who has been in a relationship longer than 12 months understands how easy it is to fall into a rut. Today I challenge you to take responsibility for the state of your partnership and use your power to create excitement, joy and happiness that will last forever.

The following are 10 simple and powerful ways to grow a relationship:

1. Give up the need to be right. My husband leaves his shoes everywhere, under the coffee table, under the kitchen table, in the entryway etc. I spent the first years of our marriage trying to get him to pick up them up. It didn’t work. In an enlightened moment I decided to pick up his shoes without complaining and resentment. Soon I found myself happily taking care of his shoes and grateful for the opportunity!

Read more: http://www.thechangeblog.com/10-simple-powerful-ways-to-grow-a-relationship/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Don't Think You're Happy

Don't Think You're Happy | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
::Written by Annie Lalla

If You Think You’re Happy, You’re Not!

Thinking you’re happy doesn’t get you there.

Happiness is a feeling in your body, it’s a matrix of 
sensations that arise in your physiology, not in your 
head.

In fact, you cannot be happy in your mind. Our head 
is where we go to avoid intense feelings – happy or
 otherwise...

...for each of us, there’s only so much pleasure we can handle before our mind starts taking consciousness away from our body (too much sensation) and creating narratives in our mind that occur as: fantasies, anxieties, worries, reasons and excuses or complaints.

Read more: http://annielalla.com/2012/06/15/dont-think-youre-happy/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

8 Ways to Deal with Your Crush Having a Girlfriend …

8 Ways to Deal with Your Crush Having a Girlfriend … | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
We’ve gotten a ton of feedback and comments on what to do if your crush has a girlfriend. Well girls, you asked for it and we’re here to deliver! Below, I’ve got the top 8 ways to deal with your crush having a girlfriend and what you can do about it!

1.) RESPECT THAT HE IS WITH SOMEONE:

Having a crush on someone can bring on a ton of strong feelings, but girls, how would you like it if someone had a crush on your boyfriend and was acting on it? You’ve got to respect that he’s with someone in order to move forward. If it doesn’t work out? He’s free game, but until then, you will have to just respect that they are together. I know that’s really hard when your crush has a girlfriend and you still have strong feelings, but there are ways to work through it!

Read more: http://love.allwomenstalk.com/ways-to-deal-with-your-crush-having-a-girlfriend/
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

On Love and Loss

On Love and Loss | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Here is a beautiful and bittersweet poem by Veronica Shoffstall entitled "After A While" - a fine counterpart to Susan Sontag's collected learnings on love.


After A While

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.



And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,


And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,


And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.


After a while you learn...
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.


So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.


And you learn that you really can endure...


That you really are strong


And you really do have worth...


And you learn and learn...


With every good-bye you learn.

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

8 Effective Ways to Stop Apologizing All the Time …

8 Effective Ways to Stop Apologizing All the Time … | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Do you or someone you know have the bad habit of constantly apologizing, and it’s got you wondering if there are ways to stop apologizing all the time?

There is definitely a time and place to say that you are sorry about something, but if you’re in the habit of peppering your everyday interactions with others with apologies, it’s time to step back and rethink your course of action! Keep reading for more on why and how to stop saying those two dreaded words all the time.

Read more : http://bit.ly/SkvDh6
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Ladies, DEMAND What You Want

Ladies, DEMAND What You Want | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
I hear a lot of women today complain that there ahre no real men anymore.  Groups of women love to get together and lament about the sad state of the male race. Stop whining.

Our world operates according to the rules of supply and demand. If there is less demand, supply goes down, if there is more demand, supply goes up.  Currently, men are supplying exactly as much as women are demanding.  If a woman is making most of the money, taking care of the kids and cleaning the house while allowing her man to sit on the couch all day, he is doing exactly what she is demanding of him.  Men will only supply what you demand.  Conversely, if you challenge your man to become the man you desire and dream about, he or someone else will step into that role and you will be met by the man you really want, not just the man you keep settling for.

Read more: http://bit.ly/MFTI0G
more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

French Feminine Secret #1: Become a Lady of Leisure

French Feminine Secret #1:  Become a Lady of Leisure | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

At five o’clock in the afternoon, it’s not uncommon to walk by the Café de Flore in Saint Germain des Pres in Paris’s Left Bank and find women doing nothing but sitting at a table staring out at the world passing by...


Changing the gears (into overdrive)…


Across the Atlantic, American women are going to gym classes they loathe, writing newsletters they dread sending out each week, heading up committees that are uninspiring, eating foods that don’t nourish, taking little Johnny to his SAT prep at twelve years old, staring at Facebook or folding mountains of laundry from clothes they don’t enjoy wearing


Read more: http://bit.ly/LLovqW

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Why So Many Women Fall For Online Romance Scams

Why So Many Women Fall For Online Romance Scams | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

After a divorce, dates that didn't go anywhere, and the continued hope that she might meet someone online whom she could marry, Jodi Bourgeois met the perfect man -- someone who identified himself as Greg Garic...


Romance and fraud have been mingling for ages, of course, and the fact that Lotharios pull on victim's heartstrings in order to open their purse strings is an ancient tale.


But the advent of the Internet, and the realities of our digitally-connected world, make romantic predators more potent than ever before, with bags of tricks that allow them to disguise their location, their identity and their intentions with relative ease.


Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/02/rom

more...
No comment yet.
Scooped by PAT NOVAK
Scoop.it!

Looking for Space in a Relationship

Looking for Space in a Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Your need for 'alone time' is determined by your personality and your 'attachment style.'...


Having enough space, or privacy, in a relationship is even more important to a couple's happiness than a good sex life, according to a recent unpublished analysis of data from an ongoing federally funded longitudinal study.


And women tend to be more unhappy with the amount of space in their marriage than men.


"Space gives people time to process thoughts, pursue hobbies and relax without responsibilities to others. And the time apart gives partners something new to talk about."


Read more: How to Negotiate for More Space in Your Relationship - WSJ.com http://on.wsj.com/KK2EG2

more...
No comment yet.