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What Your Mama Never Told You. Tips for Concious Connection.
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5 Things He Must Feel To Fall In Love

5 Things He Must Feel To Fall In Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

by Annie Lalla

 

Want to be in love forever?

 

If so, you first need to know how to recognize the real thing. Since often, it’s the woman who sees it, before the man.

 

As a relationship expert & love coach, I’ve found the primary indicator of real love is when your body, your heart & your mind all converge on the same undeniable truth: this man was made for you. There’s also an unflinching awareness that you were made for him. Basically, if you would bet your life (and his) that no other woman could ever love him better than you, then you’ve found the One.

 

But, let me warn you…Love is not easy. Once the starry-eyed phase has progressed into the inevitable power-struggle, that’s when the real work begins. But it’s good work, and it provides the most direct access to intimacy. Relationships are the most intense personal growth workshops that exist. They’re the places you dive deep into your darkest shadow work. Love is not for the faint-hearted; it’s a gladiator sport. And that’s why I’m such champion for the highest, most resilient form possible, True Love.

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8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back

8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"The more women I talk to, the more I realize that the gentleman is a rare breed. The mission of the New Chivalry Movement is to bring men (and women) together who strive to be the best versions of themselves and love and respect those around them.


As the gentleman has become less prominent, so have the respectful acts that define him.


Here are 8 acts of chivalry we often overlook and should work to bring back.

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10 things you should know about orgAsms

10 things you should know about orgAsms | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"You over there! Don’t be shy…orgasms are as much a part of women’s health as dental floss—but a lot more fun. For all the things you’ve been dying to find out as well as things you’ve never even thought of, expand your knowledge about the “big O” with this list of enlightening facts."

 

1. Orgasms can relieve pain.
Got a headache? Maybe you should have sex after all. “There is some evidence that orgasms can relieve all kinds of pain—including pain from arthritis, pain after surgery and even pain during childbirth,” notes Lisa Stern, RN, MSN, a nurse practitioner who works with Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles and blogs at Gynfizz.com. “The mechanism is largely due to the body’s release of a chemical called oxytocin during orgasm,” she says. “Oxytocin facilitates bonding, relaxation and other positive emotional states.” While the pain relief from orgasm is short-lived—usually only about eight to 10 minutes—she points to past research indicating that even thinking about sex can help alleviate pain.

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The Art of Receiving Pleasure.

The Art of Receiving Pleasure. | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

“There is a secret about human love that is commonly overlooked: Receiving it is much more scary and threatening than giving it. How many times in your life have you been unable to let in someone’s love or even pushed it away? Much as we proclaim the wish to be truly loved, we are often afraid of that, and so find it difficult to open to love or let it all the way in.”

~ John Welwood

 

Most of us are not talented receivers when it comes to love. Whether or not we are able to give love has surprisingly little to do with its polar opposite of being able to open to the love coming towards us.

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There Is Nothing Sexier Than A Man Who…

There Is Nothing Sexier Than A Man Who… | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man: the sides and the aspects, the edges and the angles. And there’s nothing that can make a woman’s heart and flesh tremble more than an unshakable, unyielding core that can be sensed through all these layers and facets."

 

 

This is an ode to men.

 

There is nothing more appealing than a smart man. But the man who possesses both mental and physical strength is irresistible. A man who can fight with his bare hands as fiercely and determined as with his words. A man whose strength embodies both self-possession of a warrior and a paternal love. Who is capable of killing in order to protect his family, and who can hold a child with all his love and tenderness.

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5 Steps I Took Before Meeting the Love of My Life.

5 Steps I Took Before Meeting the Love of My Life. | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Via Kristin Hauser

 

"Before we met, I knew that I wanted to be in a committed relationship and I understood why that was important to me, but I just did not know how, when or where it was going to come together."

 

Five years ago, I met the man I now call my husband in the small town of La Fortuna in Costa Rica.

 

Call it a chance meeting, fate, or divine will, but truth be told I carved the path towards that first encounter. Before we met, I knew that I wanted to be in a committed relationship and I understood why that was important to me, but I just did not know how, when or where it was going to come together. As far as carving paths go, isn’t that how it often feels?

 

We may know the what and the why, but the how, when and where only become clear with time and effort.

 

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The Myth of the Fag Hag and Dirty Secrets of the Gay Male Subculture

The Myth of the Fag Hag and Dirty Secrets of the Gay Male Subculture | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
In my mid-twenties, I learned that taking your female friends to a gay bar is like taking a vegetarian to a butcher shop. There is a lot of meat, a lot of prime cuts, and even a little tripe, but nothing they can eat.

 

It's a dirty secret of a subculture of the gay male world about women: That they're essentially unwelcome, unless they come to us as a Real Housewife, a pop diva, or an Tony award winner–or an unassuming fag hag. To anyone just coming out of the closet and hoping to get his bearings in the gay male community, the attitude towards women is simple: They are just objects whose function is to serve gay men. Maybe it happens when gay men get too comfortable in newly-discovered safe spaces–where they get to call the shots as their proudly out new selves. Or maybe it happens through cultural conditioning. Whatever the cause is, it becomes clear: If there isn't any kind of transactional exchange happening, then women lose their value in gay male subcultures.

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Can Your Intimate Relationship Survive This?

Can Your Intimate Relationship Survive This? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"Our relationship with our intimate partner or spouse is the most important relationship of our lives.


It is the centerpiece around which everything else in our lives revolves. Or at least it should be.


This significant other, our love relationship, can define our happiness and well-being, our sense of security, and even our self-confidence and self-esteem. When things are going well with our beloved, life is generally good. Even when other parts of our lives are difficult or challenging, having the loving support and presence of your partner make these challenges easier to tolerate and overcome."

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7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love

7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
What keeps us from finding and keeping the love we say we want?

 

No matter what the timeline, the story of lost love is one most of us can tell. This leaves the question “why do relationships fail?” to linger heavily in the back of our minds. The answer for many of us can be found within. Whether we know it or not, most of us are afraid of really being in love. While our fears may manifest themselves in different ways or show themselves at different stages of a relationship, we all harbor defenses that we believe on some level will protect us from getting hurt. These defenses may offer us a false illusion of safety or security, but they keep us from attaining the closeness we most desire. So what drives our fears of intimacy? What keeps us from finding and keeping the love we say we want?

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The Sacred Art of Listening: Nourishing Loving Relationships.

The Sacred Art of Listening: Nourishing Loving Relationships. | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"When we’re fully in that listening presence, when there’s that pure quality of receptivity, we become presence itself.

What happens when there’s a listening presence?


When we’re fully in that listening presence, when there’s that pure quality of receptivity, we become presence itself. And whether you call that God or pure awareness or our true nature, the boundary of inner and outer dissolves and we become a luminous field of awakeness. When we’re in that open presence, we can really respond to the life that’s here. We fall in love.


This state of listening is the precursor or the prerequisite to loving relatedness...

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The One Question You Should Never Have to Ask While on a Date

The One Question You Should Never Have to Ask While on a Date | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Guys (and ladies), next time you are romantically/sexually interested in someone, use eight simple and powerful words.

 

Dating. It can get freakin' crazy town up in here.

 

One thing has been coming up a lot lately in conversations with clients and friends is the idea of first dates.

 

And what I realized is that the one question that you never want to have to ask on a date: "So, is this a date?"

 

I've been on dates (and non-dates) where that was the question one (or both of) us was asking ourselves. And if that is happening, then it's time to shift our strategy.

PAT NOVAK's insight:

Men...take the lead!

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He Loves Me, I Love Me Not: How to Date Without Losing Yourself

He Loves Me, I Love Me Not: How to Date Without Losing Yourself | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Here's how to date without "me" being swallowed up by "we." Maintain who you are and what's important to you while maintaining your relationship.

 

I used to think I knew how to date – then, you know, I started dating.


Like most women, I’m independent, ambitious, and some might say I have feminist tendencies. Because of this, when I think about how to date and how the relationship will enhance my life, losing myself during the relationship never crosses my mind. Yet it happens. Every. Single. Time.


It’s a gradual progression: I make microscopic compromises here and there, not realizing the eventual impact they’re going to have on my big picture. In the moment, they’re “no big deal.” I draw a line, then I move it. Before I know it, I’m looking in the mirror and don’t have a clue who I’m seeing. I recognize myself physically, but not emotionally. It’s vile.

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Love vs Lust

Love vs Lust | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"As a psychiatrist, I’ve seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people.

 

Why? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the same area lights up when an addict gets a fix of cocaine as when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction. Also in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection–you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be–rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all."

 

 

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How To Flirt With A Shy Guy? 10+1 Tips

How To Flirt With A Shy Guy? 10+1 Tips | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Dating shy guys is not an easy job as you have to know the right ways of flirting to bring the guy out of his shell. Sometimes shy boys can be very discouraging, but do not worry ladies! Make sure you keep yourself more available, you also have to take the lead more often, and with the right tips and a little practice, you will be able to make any shy guy take a double take. So ladies, are you ready to learn all the ways of how to flirt with a shy guy?

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3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Enter A Relationship

3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Enter A Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The next time you find yourself getting ready to join with someone in a relationship (or even a friendship) ask yourself these questions first.

 

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

 

Recently, I did something radical; I entered into a relationship with the intention of extending love. I consciously set the goal of peace.

It’s with the intention to experience more peace than ever before that the relationship began, and it’s with that same intention that we decided to end the relationship. In between it all, I felt deeply connected, heard, and loved.

 

What did I do differently this time that allowed me to experience a new level of peace and love? What about this relationship created the space for us to peacefully “break-up”?

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Can Sleeping Apart Help Your Relationship?

Can Sleeping Apart Help Your Relationship? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Sleeping in separate beds is more common (and more beneficial) than you’d think. Here's how to determine if it could work for you.

 

“I see lots of clients who sleep in separate bedrooms and have better marriages as a result,” confirms Susan Heitler, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Denver, Colorado, author of The Power of Two: Secrets of a Strong and Loving Marriage and founder of the marriage skills website poweroftwomarriage.com. In Arianne and Nate’s case, she likes to read at night while he likes to play guitar, so they use their alone time for their hobbies. The couple told GMA that they sleep better and they’ve gotten closer.

 

Here’s why the separate beds thing is more beneficial than you’d think—and how to determine if it could work for you.

 

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The Psychology Of Needy Women

The Psychology Of Needy Women | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Is she needy or distant? Use this guide to understand why she acts the way she does.

 

Needy women can be among the most frustrating aspects of a man’sromantic life. Fortunately, relationship scientists have devised a way to suss out which women are overly needy and which ones have their heads on straight. Based on the kinds of relationships we have with our parents and our past romantic partners, humans develop a way of relating to significant others that scientists term an “attachment style.” Understanding the psychology of needy women and knowing your woman’s attachment style can reveal a lot about her psychological issues and help you determine whether or not she’s worth dating.

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The Couples Therapy Expert Esther Perel Takes On Sex and Sexuality

The Couples Therapy Expert Esther Perel Takes On Sex and Sexuality | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Esther Perel has become a go-to speaker on sexuality and relationships in the world of couples therapy as well as in the luxury self-actualization set.

 

Perhaps not since Dr. Ruth commandeered American airwaves in the 1980s has there been a public figure with so much of an audience for her work on human sexuality. But if Dr. Ruth was trying to talk explicitly about the mechanics of sex in a pre-Lewinsky, relatively tame media environment, Ms. Perel has captured attention in the era of the oversexed. Instead of offering more explicitness, she writes and talks about the aspects of sexuality that can’t be captured on a screen, the hidden, psychological states that do or do not set the mechanics in motion.

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A Love Letter to Confident Women

A Love Letter to Confident Women | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Why modern men want boat rockers, floor shakers, and earth movers in their lives.

Warren Talbot in Life Learning. - Medium

 

To confident women everywhere,

 

"I love you. I love all that you are and the confidence you bring to each new day. I love that you make your opinions known in restaurants, legislatures, bedrooms, boardrooms, social causes and your relationships. You not only expect, but demand to be partners in life and in business. You are women who know, and are proud of who you are. You never expect others to guess what you are thinking because you make your thoughts known."

 

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5 Ways To Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship

5 Ways To Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"Before we gained love sense, it was hard to offer an incisive explanation for how love fails. Theories that concentrate on bad behavior and lack of communication skills focus on the symptoms of couple distress rather than the root cause: the overwhelming fear of being emotionally abandoned, set adrift in the sea of life without safe harbor."


What we’ve missed for so long is that discord is almost always an unconscious protest against floating loose and an attempt to call, and even force, a partner back into emotional connection. Here are some of those signs of discord:

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The Secret To Staying In Love

The Secret To Staying In Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Anyone who has ever heard the dreaded phrase "I love you but I'm not in love with you' at the end of a relationship can take heart from the results of a new study which confirm what really makes love last."

 

The trick to staying in love is not about grand gestures, but about all the small things that show you care. According to a two-year study, cuddles and cups of tea are the glue that makes it stick.

 

It is the simple things such as saying "thank you", recognising the time and effort needed to do everyday mundane tasks, along with surprise gifts and small acts of kindness such as making a cup of tea which are highly-valued.

PAT NOVAK's insight:

"Staying In Love Is All About The Small Gestures, Study Reveals - Cuddles And Cups Of Tea"

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How To Get Over A Breakup And Move On With Life

How To Get Over A Breakup And Move On With Life | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
10 great tips and tricks to get you over a breakup and begin moving on.

 

Maybe you just got dumped, or perhaps you had the unfortunate task of breaking up with someone. Whether it was long or short term, the end of a relationship can be heart breaking. Someone who was once so close to you is now gone, and that can almost feel like a death sometimes. And in a way it is—it’s the death of love. It may feel like you’ll never get over it, but I can assure you that you will in time. One thing you can do is try and make it easier on yourself by applying some of the following tips to your post-breakup life. I’m not saying that they’ll make you feel spectacular in ten minutes’ time, but they’ll certainly make it easier to move on.

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Women Love Bad Boys: The Psychology Behind Why Women Go For The Assh*les

Women Love Bad Boys: The Psychology Behind Why Women Go For The Assh*les | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"Maybe Tucker Max isn’t your specific type, but let’s face it — girls (on some level) are into bad boys. We love the chase, the challenge and the excitement that that they offer. Tucker Max is the epitome of an assh*le; he embraces his personality and leverages it to get girls. But why are we wired to be attracted to the bad boys, and more importantly, do nice guys really always finish last?"


Apparently, bad boys “are a potent mix of confidence, indifference, mystery, intrigue and most importantly, excitement.” Dr. Kanan Khatau Chikhal, a clinical and health psychologist, believes that this attraction resonates with a certain kind of woman.

PAT NOVAK's insight:

"Bad Boys " typically are more comfortable in their masculine energy.. Which also makes them very appealing..

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How Being Independent Improves Your Long-Term Relationship

How Being Independent Improves Your Long-Term Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
It is important for both parties in a relationship to maintain some level of autonomy and independence. Here are seven ways being independent improves your long-term relationship.

 

People in relationships tend to view themselves as part of something greater than themselves or the sum of its constituent parts. This tendency is reinforced by others outside the relationship who realize it would be impolitic to invite one without the other. However, it is important for both parties in a relationship to maintain some level of autonomy and independence. Not only is this crucial to maintaining a sense of self, but it also helps create more diverse experiences for both parties. Here are seven ways being independent improves your long-term relationship

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How We Teach Men To Abuse Women In Relationships

How We Teach Men To Abuse Women In Relationships | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
We're constantly sending children subliminal messages that not only is it OK to abuse woman — it's what they want. So what happens when these kids grow up and enter into relationships of their own? You guessed it… and it isn't pretty.

 

Think you're not part of the problem? Think again.

The headlines are everywhere: Rape is the worst of crimes against women—against humanity, in fact. We know this intrinsically, but when we read those headlines as adults—long after we have been inculcated with messages that violence against women is actually silently accepted—we give them less weight, and even place blame on the victims. This attitude is, in so many ways, enabled and monstrously encouraged by society, by men, and by women themselves. The worst part: Most people are unaware of it.

 

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