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What Your Mama Never Told You
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How to Detect Lies - Signs of Deception

How to Detect Lies - Signs of Deception | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Lie detector expert and former federal law enforcement investigator Janine Driver tells us the subtle ways to spot deception.

 

1. He Sounds a Little Funny


Liars are sometimes called "fast talkers," but the speed of their speech varies as much as an honest person's within a conversation. Yet liars will alter their speech rates within a single sentence. Typically a liar might begin to speak slowly, because he's trying to figure out his lie—but once it comes into his head, he tries to spit it out as fast as possible. 

Pace isn't the only speech pattern that can trip up a deceiver. Research has shown that a person's vocal tone will waiver from baseline in up to 95 percent of all deceptive statements. If your partner's baritone is on the rise, you may be facing a fib.

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What the Hell IS 'Conscious Uncoupling,' Anyway?

What the Hell IS 'Conscious Uncoupling,' Anyway? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

 

By Sonya Rhodes, PhD., and Susan Schneider


"Conscious uncoupling." The term sounds so ridiculous: New Age-y, pretentious, righteous -- I could go on and on. Although I've worked as a couples therapist for eons, I have to admit that I never heard of "conscious uncoupling" before Gwyneth Paltrow used it to describe what she and Chris Martin have been up to lately. As I see it, the term means that couples confront their irreconcilable differences by looking into themselves instead of blaming their partners. Each partner takes a reflective, conscious stance toward what role he or she has played in the dissolution of the couple. This is actually a pretty radical point of view when you consider that when nearly all people talk about their divorces, there's always some element of blaming their partner.

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Living with & Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Living with & Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. ~Mark Twain 

 

We are a psychologically sophisticated society. Emotional difficulties are now shared openly — not only by celebrities but by your average person. It’s not unusual for people to tell friends that they have an anxiety disorder, anger management problem, depression,panic attacks, phobias, eating disorder, substance abuse problem,OCD or ADD.

 

Yet, there is a widespread psychological disorder that most people know little or nothing about. Why? Because its symptoms are largely interpersonal, causing many to view it as a relationship issue, not a mental health one. Also, people shy away from the term because of its unflattering name: Borderline Personality Disorder.

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Flaash5's curator insight, November 16, 2013 1:48 PM

This is crazy I would never do it!!!

Deanna Dahlsad's curator insight, November 17, 2013 12:28 AM

I find this article more than a bit misleading as it does not identify how truly rare Borderline Personality Disorder is; that said, the article does break things down easily -- so easily, in fact, these are decent relationship tips for many relationships.

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7 Tips for Dating an Introvert

7 Tips for Dating an Introvert | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
If you’ve recently fallen for an introvert, perhaps you’re feeling a little uncertain about how to proceed. Read on for insight into the inner workings of your alluring introvert’s brain and a few tips on how to deal.

 

“Internet dating has leveled the playing field between extroverts and introverts,” says life coach and author Amy Bonaccorso. “In the past, an extrovert would be the life of the party and get the dates, but now, an introvert can impress someone with their excellent communication skills over email before meeting in person.”

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Vloasis's curator insight, September 25, 2013 5:27 AM

I want one of those sweater pajama turtleneck thingies!

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What Women Really Want from Men.

What Women Really Want from Men. | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"Oh, ladies, are we really that complicated? Unfortunately, yes. (Sorry, gentlemen.)

 

Okay, I’m not actually sorry, but I do feel a ti-ny bit bad, so I’ve decided to help you out.

 

Here, spelled out—quite literally—is what women want.

 

We want to be wooed. 

 

We want romance and we want chivalry. We want you to want to open a door for us because you respect us and, well, like us.

 

Because we like ourselves, so we demand to be treated well.

Yet, here’s the catch…

 

We want to have our cake and eat it too."

 

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12 Subtle Signs You’re Being Manipulated By Your Lover

12 Subtle Signs You’re Being Manipulated By Your Lover | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Do you think you’re a victim of manipulation? Use these 12 subtle and yet shocking signs to find out if you’re being manipulated by your lover.

 

Sometimes, we end up manipulating our lovers to get things our way.

We may do it intentionally just for fun, in an obvious manner.


Or we may do it sneakily and subtly to get something without confronting out lovers.


And it’s all fun and games for a while, as long as both partners realize that one of them is being arm-twisted into giving in.


But where do you draw the line?

 


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Loving Links - Married dating guru's curator insight, August 25, 2013 8:44 AM

Well I guess if you are married you draw the line at being manipulated to leaving your partner.

shiwani's curator insight, October 27, 2013 4:18 AM
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Improve Any Relationship by Challenging Your Perceptions

Improve Any Relationship by Challenging Your Perceptions | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

 

When we are caught up in our own egos and forget to distinguish between our own perceptions and the factual reality of things, bad consequences can arise.

 

This morning, having set herself one hour to get some good work done, I found my wife desperately trying to make her printer work. I told her she should use my printer and concentrate on more important things. Surely her printing goal was to get the document in hand, not to spend her one precious hour fighting the machine?

 

When our argument had died down (yes, it really did get that far!) and after I had finished my morning meditation, I realized that I had once again committed my favorite error: Mixing up reality and perception and not calling things by their proper name.

 

In my mind, she was wasting her time and unlikely to get her any good results. I had told her so and that’s where we started arguing...

 

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Relationship Arguments – 23 Dos and Don’ts to Remember

Relationship Arguments – 23 Dos and Don’ts to Remember | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Ever wondered how some couples fight, but are still so in love with each other? Here are 23 relationship argument dos and don’ts that can help you.

 

Arguments in a relationship are inevitable for most couples...

 

Getting into an argument with your lover doesn’t make you a bad partner, nor does it mean that your relationship is less than perfect.

 

But how you end the argument can define you as a good or bad partner.

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Learning How To Balance "Me" With "We" In Your Relationship

Learning How To Balance "Me" With "We" In Your Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The healthiest relationships are those in which each person takes time to be alone and cultivate "me" time. Communicate to your partner how important that is, or risk damaging your future together.

 

You find yourself with a committed partner. You’re in love. It’s one of the best relationships you’ve ever had… but you’re about to do something very risky. You have to tell your lover you need to balance “me” as you become part of a “we.” Becoming a “we” and falling in love is a beautiful thing, but it can be suffocating and ultimately damaging to the health of the relationship if you don’t also balance personal time for yourself. Read more at Your Tango…

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6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal

6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.

 

But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines.

 

Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error...

 

 Below are six of the most common tendencies in relationships that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and destroying everything you hold dear. Get the tissues ready."

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4 Overlooked Relationship Red Flags

4 Overlooked Relationship Red Flags | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Not just your partner's actions, but your own actions and feelings can be relationship red flags.

 

In my twenties, I started dating a man I really liked – although in retrospect, I’m not sure if I really liked him or I just liked that he really liked me. (Of course, that was the first ignored red flag.) As I got to know this young man – let’s call him Fred – I asked him about some of his past relationships. He told me a story about his previous girlfriend that went something to the tune of: she’d cheated on him but had felt so guilty that she tearfully confessed her misdeeds to him. Fred didn’t break up with her but expressed his extreme hurt, anger and mistrust throughout the rest of the relationship. His ongoing hurt and mistrust was genuine, but what he failed to tell his then-girlfriend is that he had also cheated on her.

 

In fact, in all of Fred’s stories about his life, he never seemed to speak about mistakes, learning lessons or owning any personal responsibility.

Are these things deal breakers? Taken individually, not necessarily. But each was a red flag I chose to ignore.

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PAT NOVAK's comment, August 7, 2013 3:30 PM
How many times have you done the first one? Lying to yourself? You see the red flag, but you start making excuses.
PAT NOVAK's comment, August 7, 2013 3:30 PM
How many times have you done the first one? Lying to yourself? You see the red flag, but you start making excuses.
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The Four Things That Kill a Relationship Stone Dead

The Four Things That Kill a Relationship Stone Dead | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

A recipe for divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.

For over 40 years the psychologist Professor John Gottman has been analysing relationships, both good and bad.

 

He's followed couples across decades in many psychological studies to see what kinds of behaviours predict whether they would stay together in the long-term or were soon destined for the divorce courts

 

.Amongst the factors he identified, four have stood out, time and time again. When Gottman sees a couple's communication overrun with these, the chances are they will divorce in an average of around six years from their marriage.

 

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Ted Thomas's curator insight, July 29, 2013 6:15 AM

Relationship killers...

Modern Love Guide's curator insight, July 29, 2013 3:21 PM

This is so good and so true.

Garth Sanginiti's curator insight, August 1, 2013 10:01 PM

Good advice from Professor John Gottman to help strengthen relationships.

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5 Ways To Know If You're Ready For Love

5 Ways To Know If You're Ready For Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
I talk about relationships pretty much all day, every day. When it comes to dating and love, everyone asks the same question: Where are all the good men? You guys, this question sucks. It is the wrong question.

 

Why? Because even if there was the perfect location, that wouldn't really help you move toward the relationship you want. You'd just end up hanging around the frozen food aisle of the supermarket or going to a couple of baseball games in full makeup, and let's be real, if that worked, you'd be so married that by now you'd be sick of your husband.

 

The problem is not that you're not meeting enough men -- it's that you're not meeting enough men because you're failing to ask the right question. And that question is: Are you ready for a great love relationship?


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11 Surprising Things You Never Knew About Flirting

11 Surprising Things You Never Knew About Flirting | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
There's definitely an art to flirting—and we have the science to back it up.

 

News flash: Flirting works. In fact, studies suggest that flirting skills could be even more important than looks in helping you attract a partner. And experts agree: 


"It's not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques like eye contact and smiles," says Monica Moore, M.D. 

If you want to master the game, here's a good place to begin: Read up on these interesting facts about flirting:

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The Truth About Passive-Aggressive Behavior

The Truth About Passive-Aggressive Behavior | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"Passive-aggressive behavior is an extremely troublesome but misunderstood phenomenon. People frequently accuse each-other of engaging in it without really understanding what it is. On the other hand, when they encounter the real thing, they’re unable to recognize it and are therefore victimized by those who employ it."

 

So who is a passive-aggressive person, really? Essentially, it’s someone who engages in the indirect expression of anger. This person is unable to acknowledge to themselves or to others that they are angry, so they unconsciously bury this feeling deep in their psyche. Unfortunately, buried emotions have a way of leaking out, as I’ll soon demonstrate.

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The Problem with Being Swept Off Your Feet

The Problem with Being Swept Off Your Feet | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

The problem is that only a narcissist can come in and sweep a woman off her feet.

 

Think about that phrase, “He swept me off my feet.”

That means he left you ungrounded, unbalanced. That stinks.

 

Only a narcissist, someone who must be seen as amazing, can enter and shower someone with that much adoration and attention.

 

You see, the truth is, most people, when interested in someone, will be curious, will show up and want to get to know someone at a reasonable pace, they won’t glom on, declare their love right away and lay on the gifts and adoration.

 

- See more at: http://theboulderpsychic.com/2013/10/21/the-problem-with-being-swept-off-your-feet/#sthash.wVkRSXbJ.dpuf

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How to Stop Being Manipulated in a Relationship

How to Stop Being Manipulated in a Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
All of us get manipulated into giving in now and then. But where do you draw the line? Find out how to stop getting manipulated using these 14 tips.

 

Manipulation is a behavior in which one person tries to change the mind of another person without confronting them directly.


Manipulators use deception, trickery and threats to get what they want, from people who are willing to give in to them.

 
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19 Telltale Signs A Guy Is Really Into You

19 Telltale Signs A Guy Is Really Into You | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Your friends get a good vibe off of him, and never have to give you that speech about how "we just don't want to see you get hurt again."

 

"He looks for excuses to talk to you, to see you, to be closer to you, and to get to know more about you. And even though you know he intentionally forgot something at your apartment just so he could go back and get it, you play along because you don’t want to ruin the game."

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15 Ways to Refuel the Relationship Tank.

15 Ways to Refuel the Relationship Tank. | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

by Tawny Sanabria


"Ever wonder how your relationship went from kisses, smiles and fun, to way too much work?"


The good news is that you are not alone, and it’s pretty typical for the passion to wane as relationships grow in length.

We could look for the “why’s” in that all day long, but it really is not going to get us anywhere—and might even have us going ’round and ’round.

 

What we do know is that relationships ebb and flow. We've learned that the initial lust and passion that is felt at the beginning of the relationship is not sustainable and that love evolves throughout our lives.

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How Self Respect Affects You and Your Relationship

How Self Respect Affects You and Your Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Self respect plays a very important part in relationships and happiness. Can you differentiate the line between giving in and losing your own respect?

 

by Allison Ricard

 

We’ve all heard this line before, that love needs understanding and compromise to be successful.


And it’s definitely true.


But love works best only when both partners understand each other and compromise for each other.


If you give while your partner only takes, no matter how compromising or caring you are, you can’t hold on to happiness forever.


And that’s where self respect comes into the picture.

 
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16 Signs You’re Settling in an Unhappy Relationship

16 Signs You’re Settling in an Unhappy Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Are you really happy in your relationship or are you just putting up with it? Use these 16 signs you’re settling in a relationship to know the truth.

 

A relationship should make you feel better about yourself.

It should never weigh you down or make you feel miserable.

 

And if you find yourself in a relationship that leaves you unhappy and tired, you’re better off being alone!

 

Why do we settle in unhappy relationships?

 

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Tips for Being a Better Conversationalist and Why You Need Them

Tips for Being a Better Conversationalist and Why You Need Them | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Good Small Talk Makes Us Likable, but It's Easy to Get Rusty—How to Avoid Dominating and Being Dominated in a Conversation

 

There is an art to elegantly starting, sustaining and ending a dialogue with strangers or friends. Experts call it conversational intelligence. Others call it the gift of gab. Hard as it may be for chatty people to believe, not everyone is born with it. For many, it takes study and practice.

 

Some people dismiss small talk as mere chitchat, an unnecessary and annoying waste of time. Many men consider it a female thing. But experts say casual conversation is essential social grease—a ritual that helps us connect with friends, colleagues and people we've just met.

 

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7 Truths Women Have To Learn The Hard Way

7 Truths Women Have To Learn The Hard Way | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The author of the unforgettable story collection The News from Spain explains the tough realities we all need to figure out. By Joan Wickersham

 

1. You Have A Good Girl And A Bad Girl Inside You, And The Good Girl Is Usually The One Who Gets You Into Trouble


The good girl waits to be called on. She takes no for an answer. She doesn’t want to disturb anyone. She carries maturity and good citizenship to the point of paralysis. She holds herself in check, tells herself, "Don’t you dare." The bad girl dares. The bad girl shocks me, and I have a lot to thank her for. She said, "I love you," and she said it first. She said, "I quit this job." She said, "I’ve been working on this book for eight years and it stinks and I’m throwing out the manuscript and starting over." When I look back at the things I regret -- the jobs I wanted and didn’t go after, the editors with whom I never got in touch, the misunderstandings I didn’t try to clear up, the interesting people I never talked to -- I can see how often the good girl was in charge: cautious and correct, and wrong.

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How Just One Night's Poor Sleep Can Hurt a Relationship

How Just One Night's Poor Sleep Can Hurt a Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Study tracked couple's sleep and their arguments to reveal how the damage was done.

 

"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open." —George Bernard Shaw


People are usually at their worst after a bad night's sleep, but what does that do to their intimate relationships?

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Sharilee Swaity's curator insight, August 5, 2013 11:16 PM

Just one bad night's sleep can lead to relationship problems -- just one night! This is pretty amazing information, and for any couples with chronic sleep problems, it does help to explain a lot. 

 

 

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Stop Pushing Away Love!

Stop Pushing Away Love! | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"When my client Sandra came to me she was desperate. She thought her boyfriend was going to break up with her soon and she didn’t know what to do. She was an extremely beautiful girl, yet she felt insecure and worried constantly that her partner would cheat..."

 

"...By the time we started working together, she was spending most of her days in bed in a state of constant anxiety. She would wake up and immediately check his facebook and instagram profiles to look for evidence that he was interested in other girls. Even though she didn’t find it, she wouldn’t stop."

 

SHE WAS CAUGHT IN A VICIOUS CYCLE OF RELATIONSHIP SABOTAGE. IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

PAT NOVAK's insight:

Great article by Nicole Moore, how our own low self esteem sabotages our relationships and what to do about it!

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Ari Meier's curator insight, July 30, 2013 11:06 PM

How not to sabotage your relationships.