"For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to love and trust themselves first. They must feel they are needed and appreciated for support they give. If you have been let down in the past, the prospect of needing someone can be frightening. You may fear depending on your partner but may not be aware of the source of it. Achieving interdependence in a relationship is possible but takes time and intention. Love is uncertain. It's inherently risky because your partner could leave you at a moment's notice, betray you, or stop loving you."
Truth be told, an unconscious fear of rejection can cause you to sabotage a relationship or stay in a self-destructive one too long -- even though you may not be aware of it. Relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D. writes "Since people attract each other at their common level of woundedness or their common level of health, an unavailable person's fear of commitment likely mirrors your fear of commitment." For many, a fear of intimacy may translate into testing a relationship by picking a partner who is wrong for you or playing it safe by distancing yourself.