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What Your Mama Never Told You. Tips for Concious Connection.
Curated by PAT NOVAK
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7 Ways To Get Over Your Fear of Rejection And Achieve Lasting Love

7 Ways To Get Over Your Fear of Rejection And Achieve Lasting Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to love and trust themselves first. They must feel they are needed and appreciated for support they give. If you have been let down in the past, the prospect of needing someone can be frightening. You may fear depending on your partner but may not be aware of the source of it. Achieving interdependence in a relationship is possible but takes time and intention. Love is uncertain. It's inherently risky because your partner could leave you at a moment's notice, betray you, or stop loving you."

 

Truth be told, an unconscious fear of rejection can cause you to sabotage a relationship or stay in a self-destructive one too long -- even though you may not be aware of it. Relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D. writes "Since people attract each other at their common level of woundedness or their common level of health, an unavailable person's fear of commitment likely mirrors your fear of commitment." For many, a fear of intimacy may translate into testing a relationship by picking a partner who is wrong for you or playing it safe by distancing yourself.

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How Smart Women Let Masculine Traits Sabotage Love

How Smart Women Let Masculine Traits Sabotage Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Get in touch with your femininity to find lasting love! 
 

"If you’re a smart and successful woman, being professional, in charge, driven and strong are masculine traits that bring you much career success. You’ve been able to reach key goals and objectives and may even have been promoted to positions of greater responsibility. But, if the love you desire has eluded you, the recognition you receive for your hard work can’t make up for what’s most important in life – true love."

 

Letting your masculine energy be dominant makes it easier for your feminine energy to become dormant. Losing touch with your feminine energy keeps you from love because men find femininity attractive. If you want to be loved, cherished and respected, applying masculine traits to love is a losing proposition. There was a time when I unknowingly applied masculine traits to love. I was used to operating from my masculine energy Mondays through Fridays from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Even after work, this masculine side followed me on dates that didn’t blossom into any lasting relationships.

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Attracting Love.

Attracting Love. | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

What is the vibrational quality of your relationship?” asked my spiritual mentor.

 

"This stumped me. I had to think. I could feel what she was getting at… I knew it was lacking. You see, this is the work I am doing right now and it is based on the teachings of Abraham-Hicks."

 

They profess that we are all magnets attracting to us that which we emit—which means that if we are focusing on what we want, we are attracting that to us; conversely, if we are focusing on what we do not want, we are attracting that to us as well.

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The One: 10 Traits Your Ideal Soul Mate Should Have

The One: 10 Traits Your Ideal Soul Mate Should Have | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"Finding your soul mate is basically finding that one person (arguably one of several) who has the right traits – traits that are relevant to you as an individual. In other words: You have to find a person whom you can put up with and who, more importantly, can put up with you,"


Plus all that lovey-dovey stuff, of course. If love isn’t much more than the way that you perceive a person, then you need to find someone who you can perceive as being amazing for as long as you live. Just as importantly, you need to find a person who can put up with all of your sh*t.

Because, let’s be honest, we all have a lot of sh*t that our soul mates will need to put up with. Here are 10 traits that your soul mates should have and that, ipso facto, you should have in his or her eyes:

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Learning How To Balance "Me" With "We" In Your Relationship

Learning How To Balance "Me" With "We" In Your Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
The healthiest relationships are those in which each person takes time to be alone and cultivate "me" time. Communicate to your partner how important that is, or risk damaging your future together.

 

You find yourself with a committed partner. You’re in love. It’s one of the best relationships you’ve ever had… but you’re about to do something very risky. You have to tell your lover you need to balance “me” as you become part of a “we.” Becoming a “we” and falling in love is a beautiful thing, but it can be suffocating and ultimately damaging to the health of the relationship if you don’t also balance personal time for yourself. Read more at Your Tango…

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The Four Things That Kill a Relationship Stone Dead

The Four Things That Kill a Relationship Stone Dead | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

A recipe for divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.

For over 40 years the psychologist Professor John Gottman has been analysing relationships, both good and bad.

 

He's followed couples across decades in many psychological studies to see what kinds of behaviours predict whether they would stay together in the long-term or were soon destined for the divorce courts

 

.Amongst the factors he identified, four have stood out, time and time again. When Gottman sees a couple's communication overrun with these, the chances are they will divorce in an average of around six years from their marriage.

 

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Ted Thomas's curator insight, July 29, 2013 6:15 AM

Relationship killers...

Modern Love Guide's curator insight, July 29, 2013 3:21 PM

This is so good and so true.

Garth Sanginiti's curator insight, August 1, 2013 10:01 PM

Good advice from Professor John Gottman to help strengthen relationships.

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5 Ways To Know If You're Ready For Love

5 Ways To Know If You're Ready For Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
I talk about relationships pretty much all day, every day. When it comes to dating and love, everyone asks the same question: Where are all the good men? You guys, this question sucks. It is the wrong question.

 

Why? Because even if there was the perfect location, that wouldn't really help you move toward the relationship you want. You'd just end up hanging around the frozen food aisle of the supermarket or going to a couple of baseball games in full makeup, and let's be real, if that worked, you'd be so married that by now you'd be sick of your husband.

 

The problem is not that you're not meeting enough men -- it's that you're not meeting enough men because you're failing to ask the right question. And that question is: Are you ready for a great love relationship?


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Mad About You: The Upside of Jealousy

Mad About You: The Upside of Jealousy | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Just the right amount of jealousy can keep you and your mate from drifting apart, but there's a fine line between crazy in love and just plain crazy

 

The Upside of Jealousy
How does this seemingly unpleasant emotion benefit your twosome? Like so.

 

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Why You're Not Married

Why You're Not Married | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Ok ladies, take a deep breath because this writer hits hard and accurate. The main reasons why you're not married. She gives six reasons in all, and I have to admit, she makes a lot of sense.( btw, I do counseling on this very subject)  - Pat Novak


1.) " You're a Bitch. Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off."


Shall we continue?...



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Here's What True Love Is (And What It Isn't)

Here's What True Love Is (And What It Isn't) | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Did you know that some languages have many words for love — each one a different permeation of the many facets of love? For example, Sanskrit has 96 words for love. Ancient Persian has 80. Sadly,

 

Did you know that some languages have many words for love — each one a different permeation of the many facets of love? For example, Sanskrit has 96 words for love. Ancient Persian has 80.

Sadly, English has only one word, which greatly limits our understanding of what love is and what it isn't.

Love is that which supports the highest good in you and in others. Love recognizes that whatever truly serves one serves all, and what does not serve one serves no one.

Love creates unity, not divisiveness, and never pits one person against the other. When love is our guiding light, we practice choosing compassion and caring rather than fear.

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Cultivate an Abundance Mindset to Attract Love

Cultivate an Abundance Mindset to Attract Love | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Here’s the deal: how we view the world impacts our chances at love.

 

Don’t fall into the scarcity trap, study up on using an abundance mindset, instead. 

Our modern, online dating world seems to be a virtual buffet of choice and possibility. We click through profiles, swipe through our phones, and we’re presented with hundreds of potential dates at any given moment. The dating world seems ripe with opportunity on the surface, but deep down inside, you’re wondering if this abundance of love is for everyone but you. 

 

Well, let’s start with one simple fact.

There are more than seven billion people on planet earth…that means a wealth of possibilities for love! Does this sound overwhelming and impossible, or do you feel excited and hopeful for the opportunity that awaits you?

 

If your response felt overwhelming and impossible, the feeling of scarcity has probably nudged its way into your mind.

 
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The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
We explore Gary Chapman’s best-selling book on the five ways most people “speak” love and show you how to connect more deeply with loved ones.

Kind words mean the world to you — getting a compliment will boost your mood all day — so you return the favor by heaping praise on your spouse at every turn. She will feel so loved! you think.
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19 Telltale Signs A Guy Is Really Into You

19 Telltale Signs A Guy Is Really Into You | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Your friends get a good vibe off of him, and never have to give you that speech about how "we just don't want to see you get hurt again."

 

"He looks for excuses to talk to you, to see you, to be closer to you, and to get to know more about you. And even though you know he intentionally forgot something at your apartment just so he could go back and get it, you play along because you don’t want to ruin the game."

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6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal

6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.

 

But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines.

 

Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error...

 

 Below are six of the most common tendencies in relationships that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and destroying everything you hold dear. Get the tissues ready."

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Stop Pushing Away Love!

Stop Pushing Away Love! | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

"When my client Sandra came to me she was desperate. She thought her boyfriend was going to break up with her soon and she didn’t know what to do. She was an extremely beautiful girl, yet she felt insecure and worried constantly that her partner would cheat..."

 

"...By the time we started working together, she was spending most of her days in bed in a state of constant anxiety. She would wake up and immediately check his facebook and instagram profiles to look for evidence that he was interested in other girls. Even though she didn’t find it, she wouldn’t stop."

 

SHE WAS CAUGHT IN A VICIOUS CYCLE OF RELATIONSHIP SABOTAGE. IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

PAT NOVAK's insight:

Great article by Nicole Moore, how our own low self esteem sabotages our relationships and what to do about it!

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Ari Meier's curator insight, July 30, 2013 11:06 PM

How not to sabotage your relationships.

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How You're Ruining Your Relationship

How You're Ruining Your Relationship | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it
Plus: 5 ways you block love.

 

Are you creating a wedge between you and the men who love you? If you're favoring your masculine side too much, you sure are!

We all want to experience true love. Being in a healthy, loving relationship is an absolutely magical feeling. But if you're a strong, capable, independent woman, you could be unknowingly blocking yourself from love.

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How To Fall In Love (And Stay In Love)

How To Fall In Love (And Stay In Love) | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

Want to walk into the sunset ever after with that special person? Let me share a few pointers with you right now.

Begin With The End In Mind

 

"I want to remind you of a very powerful success principle that works in any area of your life. It says that you should always begin with the end in mind."

 

Read more: http://bit.ly/12GTRM0

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Pat Novak / Feed The Love* - Is Your Relationship The Best Thing You Have Going?

Pat Novak / Feed The Love* - Is Your Relationship The Best Thing You Have Going? | SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS | Scoop.it

If it is, then you’re in trouble.

Why? Because the best thing you have going in your life had better be YOU.
Not some other person who happens to ” treat you better than anyone else ever has...”

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