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Scarfolk Council

Scarfolk Council | Vloasis humor | Scoop.it
Vloasis's insight:

Remember, to a child, a discarded coffin is a death trap!  And always ask a policeman if you're not sure what you should be doing!  ;-)  Great site.

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So, what are YOU doing this weekend?

So, what are YOU doing this weekend? | Vloasis humor | Scoop.it
Vloasis's insight:

If you've got some time to kill you may want to attend the Orgy of the Dead.  I never even knew the dead had orgies.

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Vote Zombie Party

Vote Zombie Party | Vloasis humor | Scoop.it
Vloasis's insight:

"If government is going to be closed anyway," grunted Zombie Party delegate Judson Henge, "we can do that. We can cut spending by trimming employees, and free-up funds. We're great at conserving natural resources and electricity. We're also very interested in foreign relations."

 

The newly-formed Zombie Party could use your help. Most notably they are looking for organizers, drivers, campaign managers. Henge explained, "We're always on the lookout for a few good brains."

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10 Things Every Wine Lover Should Know About... Chateau de Beauforte

10 Things Every Wine Lover Should Know About... Chateau de Beauforte | Vloasis humor | Scoop.it

Via Vitabella Luxury Wine / Twitter @Vitabellawine / Also check www.vitabella.fr
Vloasis's insight:

For many years now, men have enjoyed drinking wine.  Here at Chateau de Beauforte, we've also been making a list and checking it twice--a list of things you need to know about our very special wine.

 

10.) We use a lot of grapes. So many, that if you tried to eat all the grapes that go into just one bottle of our wine, you would get very, very sick and not leave the bathroom for some time. We do this because we care.

 

9.) We still use feet to crush the grapes. You just cannot replicate the flavor with modern presses.

 

8.) Nightsoil is not illegal in this province and, through a special arrangement with the townsfolk, we are able to impart to you the authentic flavor of the region.

 

7.) Wine grapes should grow in a happy environment, so every morning, first thing, we get drunk and stand on the balcony of the chateau and laugh as loud as we can.

 

6.) If cooking with our wine, please remember that it is a delicate product.

 

5.) When planning your visit to the chateau, please arrange for a guide to lead you around the eastern field, which may still have active war mines.

 

4.) If we could make just one promise of quality assurance to you, we would ask that we make it after we both have had a bottle of our wine each.

 

3.) Our founder, Emil Beauforte, once kicked the crap out of Paul Masson--that is what is being depicted in the oil painting you see in our foyer.

 

2.) Keep your pets healthy and happy and improve the quality of their breath by mixing a shot of our wine in their water bowls.

 

1.) Have you tried the amazing health benefits of a Chateau de Beauforte wine enema? Come to our province and ask for Ernie Thibodeau.

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