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They may seem harmless, but a small gang of hookers from Fresno are being suspected of using alien technology to avoid streetcorner detection by the police.
"We've talked to Langley about this," said police sergeant Gary Miguenez, "and they've confirmed from trace samples we sent that they've using some kind of masking lubricant. They apply it everywhere and then just go out naked. When a squad car gets too close, they activate the lubricant and blend into whatever background is there."
When it was suggested that maybe this was an elaborate cover for a 42% decline in prostitution arrest rates, Miguenez released a flurry of profanity and ended the interview.