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How to Know When to Change Course

How to Know When to Change Course | Under Construction | Scoop.it
There will probably be no more iconic symbol for failure in our lifetime than the picture of the Costa Concordia cruise ship listing while aground off the shore of Italy. Tragic though it is, it provides several lessons for navigating life.

 

It is easy to compare the Costa Concordia with the Titanic, another cruise liner disaster from long ago. But there are some key differences. And it is in those differences that we can learn a few lessons to navigate life.

 

First, the Titanic was built in an era of big ships but with no technology available for the captain to see his way ahead. Radar was decades away from development. So as the Titanic was built and launched, its claim to being unsinkable was predicated on the toughness of the hull of the ship.

 

It is not surprising that the crew could not see an iceberg that was large above the water line and much larger still below the water line. Back then they could only see what their eyes could see. (Interestingly, if they really believed the ship was unsinkable, why would watches even need to be posted?)

 

The Costa Concordia, on the other hand, had all the advantages of modern technology.


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Under Construction
A Look at the Never-Ending Opportunity for Personal, Parental, and Relationship Growth
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Attachment Issues: Debunking the Parenting Wars

Attachment Issues: Debunking the Parenting Wars | Under Construction | Scoop.it

Whatever parenting approach you choose, someone in your circle will have a strong opinion about why it is wrong. There is only one right way, our closest advisers often insist, and that way is “their” way.

 

Lately, however, one approach to parenting has become an especially heated battleground. Attachment parenting—usually associated with co-sleeping, baby-“wearing” and prolonged breast-feeding—is heard increasingly often these days. Yet it isn’t always well understood, even by those who support it. What is “attachment,” what does it have to do with parenting, and how does it relate to mental health and well-being?


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Gina Stepp's curator insight, January 14, 2013 4:19 PM

Got attachment issues?

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Nine Ways Successful People Defeat Stress

Nine Ways Successful People Defeat Stress | Under Construction | Scoop.it

" The difference between those who are successful and those who aren't is not whether or not you suffer from stress, but how you deal with it when you do.

In the spirit of Nine Things Successful People Do Differently, here are nine scientifically-proven strategies for defeating stress whenever it strikes."

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Gina Stepp's comment, December 24, 2012 2:05 PM
I would recommend most of these, but the last one with caution. Even though she's right, motivation research does show some people have a less optimistic emotional style which means they are motivated by defensive pessimism, this isn't an unchangeable (or even necessarily the most healthful) way of living/working. I highly recommend Richard J. Davidson's book "The Emotional Life of Your Brain" for a good balance to her last point.
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You Annoyed Me at Hello: Why Kids Still Need to Learn Manners

You Annoyed Me at Hello: Why Kids Still Need to Learn Manners | Under Construction | Scoop.it
A perplexed parent asks the Emily Post Institute how children should address adults in an age of informality...

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Find Your Happy Place

Find Your Happy Place | Under Construction | Scoop.it

"A chronically dark outlook can also push people away. "Let's face it: Negative people are no fun to be around," says Kathleen Hall, author of A Life in Balance. As a result, she says, you don't get as many social invitations, which makes you feel even more negative, and the vicious circle continues. Even if you aren't being rejected because of your grim attitude, you're shortchanging your relationships, says Steven C. Hayes, PhD, a University of Nevada, Reno, psychologist and author of Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life. That's because you're too busy mulling over your mistakes, shortcomings, and frustrations to focus on your husband, your kids, and your friends."

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Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness

Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness | Under Construction | Scoop.it

32-Year Longitudinal Study finds: Social connection is a more important route to adult well-being than academic ability.

 

Social connectedness in childhood is defined by the parent and teacher ratings of the child being liked, not being alone, and the child's level of confidence. Social connectedness in adolescence is demonstrated by social attachments (parents, peers, school, confidant) and participation in youth groups and sporting clubs.

 

The researchers found, on the one hand, a strong pathway from child and adolescent social connectedness to adult well-being. This illustrates the enduring significance of positive social relationships over the lifespan to adulthood. On the other hand, the pathway from early language development, through adolescent academic achievement, to adult well-being was weak, which is in line with existing research showing a lack of association between socioeconomic prosperity and happiness.


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Jaen Wirefly's comment, August 16, 2012 6:57 AM
Thanks ;)
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Natures Neurons: Do Early Experiences in the Natural World Help Shape Children’s Brain Architecture?

Natures Neurons: Do Early Experiences in the Natural World Help Shape Children’s Brain Architecture? | Under Construction | Scoop.it

What role do early childhood experiences in nearby nature play in the formation of brain architecture? It’s time for science to ask that question.

 

In January, New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof reported on the American Academy of Pediatrics’ “landmark warning that toxic stress can harm children for life.” This was, he wrote, a “’policy statement’ from the premier association of pediatricians, based on two decades of scientific research,” and he added that the statement “has revolutionary implications for medicine and for how we can more effectively chip away at poverty and crime.”

 

From conception through early childhood, brain architecture is particularly malleable and influenced by environment and relationships with primary caregivers, including toxic stress caused by abuse or chronic neglect. By interfering with healthy brain development, such stress can undermine the cognitive skills and health of a child, leading to learning difficulty and behavior problems, as well as psychological and behavior problems, heart disease, obesity, diabetes and other physical ailments later in life.


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Alice Ruxton Abler's comment, August 3, 2012 12:42 PM
Many thanks for the rescoop!
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Book Reviews: Your Brain on Self-Deception

Book Reviews: Your Brain on Self-Deception | Under Construction | Scoop.it
Vision looks at three books focusing on the cognitive tricks employed by the brain as it works to preserve our cherished beliefs and self deceptions.
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Rest is a key part of life

Rest is a key part of life | Under Construction | Scoop.it
The lost art of introspection -- even daydreaming -- may be an increasingly valuable but elusive part of life, U.S. researchers said.

 

 


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The Art of Positive Skepticism

The Art of Positive Skepticism | Under Construction | Scoop.it

"If we model skepticism instead of cynicism, our children would inherit a world that would be less dependent on power and authority and more dependent on critical thinking and good judgment. Adolescents and young adults would be capable of questioning the reliability of what they think or hear. They would learn to believe in their natural abilities to facilitate positive change through intellectual inquiry. They would become discerning consumers of ideas rather than passive accepters of other people’s visions of certainty.

 

How we adults model the art of positive skepticism not only helps us make better informed decisions but also shows our children how to think for themselves."


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Reactions by Nurture, Not Nature

Reactions by Nurture, Not Nature | Under Construction | Scoop.it
E-mail, social media and the 24-hour news cycle are informational amphetamines that lead us to make mistaken split-second decisions.

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Seth Capo's comment, July 8, 2012 6:03 AM
Thanks for the suggestion, DH!
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Julia Steiny: Let Kids Outside for Long-Lasting Learning | Education News

Julia Steiny: Let Kids Outside for Long-Lasting Learning | Education News | Under Construction | Scoop.it

“We’ve come to believe that being outside is not good for children’s health.”
Adults worry kids will catch cold, get sun-burned, bitten by a dog or tick, break a bone in an accident, become victims of “stranger danger,” or a thousand other adversities.

“We can try to protect kids from everything. But at what cost? Kids are spending up to 8 hours a day on digital media, contradicting their natural programming to learn the natural world.” Meaning: kids are hard-wired to become skilled at living in whatever bit of the eco-system is their home – the jungle, forest, seashore, desert. Human children evolved to thrive in nature, not in protected isolation like zoo animals. 

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Learned Optimism: Martin Seligman on Happiness, Depression, and the Meaningful Life

Learned Optimism: Martin Seligman on Happiness, Depression, and the Meaningful Life | Under Construction | Scoop.it
What 25 years of research reveal about the cognitive skills of happiness and finding life's greater purpose.

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Gina Stepp's comment, July 29, 2012 11:20 AM
This and "The Optimistic Child" are my two favorite Seligman books.
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Husbands, Scouring the Toilet Will Make You Happier… Really

Husbands, Scouring the Toilet Will Make You Happier… Really | Under Construction | Scoop.it

New research out of Cambridge University in the U.K. finds that husbands who do households chores are happier and experience greater wellbeing.

 

This finding surprised the researchers, who hypothesized that wives, not husbands, would be happier if their husbands did chores. Instead, they found . . .


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The Most Important New Year’s Resolution Of Your Life

The Most Important New Year’s Resolution Of Your Life | Under Construction | Scoop.it
Forget nixing sugar or eating more kale—here’s the number one change to make for your health.
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David Brooks: Studies show that the heart of men grows smarter - San Jose Mercury News

David Brooks: Studies show that the heart of men grows smarter - San Jose Mercury News | Under Construction | Scoop.it

"Body type was useless as a predictor of how the men would fare in life. So was birth order or political affiliation. Even social class had a limited effect. But having a warm childhood was powerful. As George Vaillant, the study director, sums it up in "Triumphs of Experience," his most recent summary of the research, "It was the capacity for intimate relationships that predicted flourishing in all aspects of these men's lives.""

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The Science of Compassion

The Science of Compassion | Under Construction | Scoop.it

Empirically speaking, does the experience of compassion toward one person measurably affect our actions and attitudes toward other people? If so, are there practical steps we can take to further cultivate this feeling? Recent experiment have answered yes to both questions.

 

(David DeSteno, a professor of psychology at Northeastern University, is a co-author of “Out of Character: Surprising Truths About the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us.”)


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Do Less - Why managers should stop micromanaging and trust their employees

Do Less - Why managers should stop micromanaging and trust their employees | Under Construction | Scoop.it

"“What would it be like if all of your team members were living up to their potential? That gets big smiles from everyone. Then I say, ‘Why don’t you just help them do that? All you have to do is orchestrate a bit and facilitate.’ ”
Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. “Doing nothing is not easy for people who like their work and are driven to succeed,” Murnighan concedes. A common problem is that people often get promoted to leadership positions because they have been very capable technicians. When they are promoted, it is critical that they stop doing the technical work and delegate. “Successful leaders must shift gears and, literally, do less of what they used to do, even though they were good at it,” Murnighan writes in the first chapter. Yet, “they feel so comfortable using their old, established skills that they often have a hard time changing.”
That refusal to let go creates a host of problems. Many leaders oversee teams whose members are “under-utilized and under-challenged.” These employees will not perform effectively, and ultimately the best workers may leave in frustration. Meanwhile, the leaders themselves are overstressed."


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Rachelle Capo's comment, August 10, 2012 6:57 PM
What a great parenting article!! ;)
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Stress Is Not Your Enemy

Stress Is Not Your Enemy | Under Construction | Scoop.it
How often do you intentionally push yourself to discomfort? I know that sounds a little nutty, but here's why I ask: Subjecting yourself to stress is the only way to systematically get stronger — physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

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Are You Poisoning Your Marriage or Intimate Relationships And Don’t Even Know it?

Are You Poisoning Your Marriage or Intimate Relationships And Don’t Even Know it? | Under Construction | Scoop.it

Detoxify your intimate relationships with these five, simple tips..

[And these tips will work in your work relationships and elsewhere too.]


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Using Empathic Listening to Collaborate - Stephen R Covey

Using Empathic Listening to Collaborate - Stephen R Covey | Under Construction | Scoop.it

When you are in a conversation, do you listen with your own autobiographical filter? Or do you listen to actually understand the speaker?

 

When I say empathic listening, I mean listening with intent to understand. I mean seeking first to understand, to really understand. It's an entirely different paradigm. Empathic (from empathy) listening gets inside another person's frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel.


Empathy is not sympathy. Sympathy is a form of agreement, a form of judgment. And it is sometimes the more appropriate emotion and response. But people often feed on sympathy. It makes them dependent. The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it's that you fully, deeply, understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually.


Empathic listening involves much more than registering, reflecting, or even understanding the words that are said.

 

by Stephen R. Covey 

http://j.mp/OElhWz
 


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Rest is a key part of life

Rest is a key part of life | Under Construction | Scoop.it
The lost art of introspection -- even daydreaming -- may be an increasingly valuable but elusive part of life, U.S. researchers said.

 

 


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I Do It Myself! Attachment, Autonomy and Resilience

I Do It Myself! Attachment, Autonomy and Resilience | Under Construction | Scoop.it

 "Parents who want to encourage good decision making in their children must also encourage one of the skill's important components: individual autonomy. But how? By pushing them to succeed in the supposed tradition of a "Tiger Mom?  By stepping back as a "Wise French Parent" might do to let their children "live their lives"? By shielding them from every possible hurt as some have characterized current American trends?"

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7 Easy Ways to Improve a Bad Day

7 Easy Ways to Improve a Bad Day | Under Construction | Scoop.it
Don't let a bad morning ruin your entire day. Use these mental tricks to change your momentum.
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Want a happy toddler? Help him give to others…

Want a happy toddler? Help him give to others… | Under Construction | Scoop.it
Are little children intrinsically selfish? Many people assume so. But recent research suggests that young children want to be kind.

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How to Know When to Change Course

How to Know When to Change Course | Under Construction | Scoop.it
There will probably be no more iconic symbol for failure in our lifetime than the picture of the Costa Concordia cruise ship listing while aground off the shore of Italy. Tragic though it is, it provides several lessons for navigating life.

 

It is easy to compare the Costa Concordia with the Titanic, another cruise liner disaster from long ago. But there are some key differences. And it is in those differences that we can learn a few lessons to navigate life.

 

First, the Titanic was built in an era of big ships but with no technology available for the captain to see his way ahead. Radar was decades away from development. So as the Titanic was built and launched, its claim to being unsinkable was predicated on the toughness of the hull of the ship.

 

It is not surprising that the crew could not see an iceberg that was large above the water line and much larger still below the water line. Back then they could only see what their eyes could see. (Interestingly, if they really believed the ship was unsinkable, why would watches even need to be posted?)

 

The Costa Concordia, on the other hand, had all the advantages of modern technology.


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