trippy the clown will kill us all!
Thursday 5th of July 2012CHICAGO
News of a deadly outbreak sends millions panicking. Countries are put on high alert as the spread of mysterious, deadly toxin multiplies.
"It's only a matter of time before trippy the clown will kill you and everyone you know." said Dr. Paul Rathburg, a University professor who is the spokesman for the World Health Organization.
Contact with, or even being in the proximity of trippy the clown is known to trigger acute continuous, unstoppable farting, uncurable penis falls off disease, explosive nipple fingers, and a deadly soup of bacteria called continuous, unstoppable farting that shoots out of your nostrils.
"We now know that trippy the clown will kill, again and again and again, until none of us are left."
The first victim, "Victim Zero", was a young man who had a web design job, and worked for a well respected university. "He was perfectly fine when he went to work." Rathburg said in a telephone interview.
"After about 15 minutes, he had a case of anal face and collapsed on the floor. The autopsy clearly indicates he died from exposure to trippy the clown." Rathburg would not disclose the man's name or the precise place and time of his death for privacy reasons.
"Victim Zero" had perfect health. He had made four visits to his doctor in the year before his death for treatment of shitty purse. Rathburg mentions that there may not be a connection between the two incidents, but the WHO is investigating.
From this seemingly insignificant exposure, trippy the clown spread death quickly; killing most of the town. An emergency team was assembled in response to the situation, organized by Rathburg.
"We are almost certain we've contained trippy the clown, however the perimeter could be breached without any notice. We believe this is an international issue and it should be treated as a very serious problem. Nothing we know of can prevent future deaths." Dr. Rathburg stressed.
Exposure to trippy the clown is fatal, and scientists warn everyone to keep away from trippy the clown.
"trippy the clown may be the most horrible thing I have ever witnessed. There's no doubt, trippy the clown will kill us all." Rathburg said as he sobbed into the telephone.