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Dirty Tricks of Psychology for Mind-Reading and the Roots of Empathy

Dirty Tricks of Psychology for Mind-Reading and the Roots of Empathy | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Let me tell you an interesting story you no doubt will relate to. One day I was walking the golf course, caddying for my older brother Nathan, a professional golfer, who was playing a regional qualifier for the Australian Open. He started the day strongly with a few shots under par, but the turning point came on the eleventh hole when he hit a bad two-iron from the tee on a par 4. Being a left-hander, he pulled the golf ball left where it ended out-of-bounds. Following that eradicate shot, his quality of play did not improve for the remainder of the day.


At the end of the round, he had failed to qualify for the national tournament by two shots. In the clubhouse where we had a drink, we talked about what he did well and what he could have done better. “I was surprised by the quality of your chip shots and game around the greens,” I remarked. “Everything went within 2 meters of the pin.” Not to concerned about the disappointed day, Nathan replied, “Yeah, you’re right. My wedge game was strong today. Just…” to which I interrupted and said, “The eleventh 2-iron.” He echoed my words, “Spot on, the eleventh 2-iron.”


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How to convince people – give people a reason to #follow and #trust you | Noozmag

How to convince people – give people a reason to #follow and #trust you | Noozmag | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

People don’t want more information.
They are up to their eyeballs in information.
They want #faith - faith in you, your goals, your #success, in the #story you tell.

 

says Annette Simmons, author of “Whoever Tells the Best Story Wins”.

 

How do we reach that people have faith in us?

 

So easy!

 

If we show us from our best side, are authentic and trustworthy and give people appreciation and love they will #respect us, too. What we give comes back to us! The seeds we sow we will harvest one day! Life is a process of giving and taking.

 

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Sonya Withrow's curator insight, February 28, 4:27 AM

Let's sum it up with a quote from Theodore Roosevelt  "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"  John C Maxwell has also been given credit for this quote; regardless  you must be a willing to serve others unconditionally!

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Connect with Your Creative Writer

Connect with Your Creative Writer | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Do you have to complete a piece of writing but are putting it off? A report, a blog article, or a letter? Are you finding that the moment you sit down to write, your mind seems to go blank? Crap! Writers block! What can you do about it?


Although, the term writers block is popular, this feeling of blockage and mind blanking is not specific to writing, but of any creative feats. Other examples include, brainstorming for a new business, dancing, musical performances, music composition, painting or photography. I’ve personally experienced this during my photography work, blanking out as I stand in front of a client waiting for me for direction. I call these Creative Blocks, where your mind just comes up empty and you feel lost. It’s purely mental.


Through practice and observation, I’ve gotten pretty good at getting past these blank moments, and this article shares some insights for unlocking your creativity. Throughout the article, I will be using writing as the example, but keep in mind that it is equally applicable to any creative activity.


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101 Excellent Resources And Tools For Students Of Any Age | Brain Training, Brain Exercise, Brain Fitness by Brain Training 101

101 Excellent Resources And Tools For Students Of Any Age | Brain Training, Brain Exercise, Brain Fitness by Brain Training 101 | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Whether you’re a student just starting the school year or you’re a lifelong learner like me, you’ll find resources, tools and a ton of fun stuff to stash in your virtual backpack.


If you find these resources helpful, please share this post with your friends. I would greatly appreciate it.


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Do You Give Up Too Easily? How To Power Through

Do You Give Up Too Easily? How To Power Through | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it
The truth is that many of us don't apply ourselves enough to achieve the positive life changes to which we aspire. Why? Why is it that we so often fail to successfully make the changes we really want?


Over the years, I've lectured to tens of thousands of people on the subject of improving their quality of life. One of the main points I make is that an essential element of having more of the life you want is dedicating at least some time each day to clearing and quieting your mind.


After describing the practical, physiological, emotional, mental, and of course spiritual benefits of taking even just a few minutes a day to meditate or relax deeply, it's clear that most people are genuinely inspired to do it. Unfortunately, only a small percentage of people ever act on their inspiration. But these would-be meditators are not alone.


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Building Resilience

Building Resilience | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

In the moments when life is falling apart, when our best laid plans are dashed and lying in a heap of disappointment, that we have the opportunity to grow more resilient. This deep inner work is one of the highest forms of love.


"None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith." -- Paulo Coelho


It's easy to trust when life is giving us what we want, when our relationships are stable and communication flows. Leaning toward trust when our health is broken, our relationship connections are tattered and we can't find the words to express our own needs is where trust becomes our capacity for resilience. In the moments when life is falling apart, when our best laid plans are dashed and lying in a heap of disappointment, that we have the opportunity to grow more resilient. This deep inner work is one of the highest forms of love. It is the work that transforms us into our most authentic and compassionate selves.

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Slavica Bogdanov's comment, June 12, 2012 9:03 AM
Great article Martin! I hope many people read this and apply it. Love Paulo Coelho. Yes resilience is what a lot of people throw out from a relationship. Some people prefer to run, chose to flee instead of choosing to stay in through the good and the not so good. Resilience is a fantastic word, I actually had forgotten to use. Thank you.
Martin Gysler's comment, June 12, 2012 10:12 AM
Hi Slavica, great to hear that you like this post. Indeed, resilience is a fantastic and important word in our live.
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The Importance of Prioritization and Time Management

The Importance of Prioritization and Time Management | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

If success depends on effective action, effective action depends on the ability to focus your attention where it is needed most, when it is needed most. This is the ability to separate the important from the unimportant, which is a much-needed skill in all walks of life, especially where there are ever-increasing opportunities and distractions.


12 Universal Skills You Need to Succeed at Anything


First, let’s talk a little about ‘time’: There are two types of time, clock time and real-time. In clock time, there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. All time passes equally. In real-time, all time is relative. Time flies or drags depending on what you’re doing. Time management systems often don’t work because they are designed to manage clock time. You live in real-time. The good news is that real-time is mental. You create it. Anything you create, you can manage.


There are three ways to spend time:

  • thoughts
  • conversations
  • actions


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Reboot your life: 20 mental barriers you should let go of | Soul Hiker

Reboot your life: 20 mental barriers you should let go of | Soul Hiker | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

You are in an imaginary hot air balloon. It’s just you and all of your belongings in the wicker basket. Something went wrong and you are losing altitude fast. You will hit the ground in less than ten minutes if you don’t come up with something quick.


The only immediate solution is to get rid of excess weight and throw off at least half of your belongings. It’s that or hit the ground in ten. You look at the things and hesitate for a few seconds but then you do what you have to do and start throwing the things you have gathered half your life one by one. The cargo gets lighter, the descent slows down then you are floating up again back to altitude. You are relieved beyond comprehension.


This happens to all of us in less dramatic circumstances. We attach ourselves to things that we have accumulated over the years. Some of them might have some practical value. Others we just have attached ourselves sentimentally to over time. Some others are just clutter.


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21 Habits of Happy People

21 Habits of Happy People | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

“Happiness is a habit – cultivate it.” Elbert

Hubbard


Happiness is one aspiration all people share. No one wants to be sad and depressed.


We’ve all seen people who are always happy – even amidst agonizing life trials. I’m not saying happy people don’t feel grief, sorrow or sadness; they just don’t let it overtake their life. The following are 21 things happy people make a habit of doing:


1. Appreciate Life
Be thankful that you woke up alive each morning. Develop a childlike sense of wonder towards life. Focus on the beauty of every living thing. Make the most of each day. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t sweat the small stuff.


2. Choose Friends Wisely...


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Slavica Bogdanov's comment, June 6, 2012 10:51 AM
Totally agree!! A great article. Love it and I am happy to read it:)
Martin Gysler's comment, June 6, 2012 4:21 PM
Thanks Slavica! Happiness goes from inside to outside and is a art of life that we should master!
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9 things successful people do differently

9 things successful people do differently | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

If you aren’t sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.


1. Get specific. When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. “Lose 5 pounds” is a better goal than “lose some weight,” because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you’ll “eat less” or “sleep more” is too vague — be clear and precise. “I’ll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights” leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you’ve actually done it.


2. Seize the moment to act on your goals...


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Slavica Bogdanov's comment, June 1, 2012 8:06 AM
An excellent one! Hope many read this
Martin Gysler's comment, June 1, 2012 9:14 AM
Thanks Slavica and yes I hope too :)
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You Mean Anything Is Possible? | Psychology Today

You Mean Anything Is Possible? | Psychology Today | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it
Once there was a man named Lester Levenson. This is true; I know former students of his. One day when he was in his early forties, doctors sent him home from the hospital, giving him only a few months to live. There was nothing to be done, they said. His heart was so weak he was instructed not even to tie his own shoelaces, lest the exertion cause him to drop dead.


Now Lester, being a thinking kind of guy, decided he had been stupid to have gotten himself into this position. So he set about to correct things. Overwhelmed with a fear of dying, he began to examine his predicament. He concluded that it was his feelings that were causing all his problems, not others or the world, as he had previously thought. He also discovered that each of us has an inborn capacity to release our negative feelings. So he began to systematically let go of every negative emotion he was experiencing.


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10 Ways to Avoid Brainwashing | Illuminated Mind

10 Ways to Avoid Brainwashing | Illuminated Mind | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

If we don’t own our minds, we’re like pawns in a game where we’re not the player. We’re being played. Corporations, governments, advertisers and even religions (oops, I said it) have gone to great lengths to control your mind. Sometimes their tactics are obvious, but most of the time they are downright sneaky.


If we want to ensure that we’re living for ourselves and not serving some corporation’s agenda, we have to put on our mental armor. We have to arm our minds so we can first know when their is an assault on our sovereignty.


Here are 10 tools you can use to avoid brainwashing and retain the ownership of your mind:


1. Decrypt media spin.
The media uses many different tools and angles to sensationalize things that aren’t inherently sensational. “Experts generally agree” can mean a community college professor and “recent surveys find” can mean the polling of 10 people...


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10 Solid Ways to Bolster Your Willpower

10 Solid Ways to Bolster Your Willpower | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it
You’re willing to achieve something, but your mind mechanism seems to defy it. So how do you bolster the willpower?


What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it, that’s another matter. Peter F. Drucker.


You want to top the class in the exams, but you’re not preparing well.


You would like to blog regularly, but you keep finding excuses.


You’re dying to get that super client, but your competitor swept them away.


You’re trying to break free from all the messy stuffs, but you can’t find a way out.


Sounds familiar? What are the odds then? Buckle up; it’s about you and your willpower.


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Dirty Tricks of Psychology for Mind-Reading and the Roots of Empathy

Dirty Tricks of Psychology for Mind-Reading and the Roots of Empathy | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Let me tell you an interesting story you no doubt will relate to. One day I was walking the golf course, caddying for my older brother Nathan, a professional golfer, who was playing a regional qualifier for the Australian Open. He started the day strongly with a few shots under par, but the turning point came on the eleventh hole when he hit a bad two-iron from the tee on a par 4. Being a left-hander, he pulled the golf ball left where it ended out-of-bounds. Following that eradicate shot, his quality of play did not improve for the remainder of the day.


At the end of the round, he had failed to qualify for the national tournament by two shots. In the clubhouse where we had a drink, we talked about what he did well and what he could have done better. “I was surprised by the quality of your chip shots and game around the greens,” I remarked. “Everything went within 2 meters of the pin.” Not to concerned about the disappointed day, Nathan replied, “Yeah, you’re right. My wedge game was strong today. Just…” to which I interrupted and said, “The eleventh 2-iron.” He echoed my words, “Spot on, the eleventh 2-iron.”


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10 Tips to Help You Achieve Your Goals | Little Things Matter

10 Tips to Help You Achieve Your Goals | Little Things Matter | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

How would you like to increase the odds of achieving your goals? Whether you desire to lose weight, create financial independence, build a healthy marriage, or raise responsible children, the formula for achieving any goal is the same.

Here are 10 tips in sequential order that will help you increase the odds of achieving your goals: (Each link is one of my related lessons.)

 

1. Identify what’s important to you! The only goals you will succeed in reaching are those that are truly important to you. If a goal is not meaningful or significant to you, you will quit when faced with obstacles. Take 30 minutes and make a list of the things that are truly essential in your life; those that you highly value. Then highlight the most important points on that list and set your goals.

 

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Building Self-Confidence - Prepare yourself for success

Building Self-Confidence - Prepare yourself for success | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

From the quietly confident doctor whose advice we rely on, to the charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires.


Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.


After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic.


On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.


Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.


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60 Inconvenient Personal Development Truths

60 Inconvenient Personal Development Truths | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

I know you want to be the best you can be. We all do. But sometimes we look for success in the wrong places or we try to achieve it in the wrong ways.


Here are 60 inconvenient truths about personal development to help you stay on track.


  1. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
  2. You can’t have good ideas unless you’re willing to generate a lot of bad ones.
  3. A good idea without action is nothing at all.
  4. It’s not so much about finding opportunities as it is about creating them.
  5. 10% of our lives is decided by uncontrollable circumstances. 90% is decided by how we react to those circumstances.
  6. What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.
  7. If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything.


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Miklos Szilagyi's curator insight, July 18, 2013 2:13 AM

Welll, don't be too intimidated or even bored by the long list... they are perls... OK, you've met perhaps even each (don't think so but might be...) but it's such a goog arrangements to have them together and need nt read a whole book (though there are recommendations within about some)... it is worth even to copy it out to recheck them from time to time... good reading and thinking about them....

Helena Gonçalves's curator insight, August 27, 2013 7:16 AM

It's not about what you know... It's how you act!

Pascal Vedel's curator insight, September 23, 2013 3:12 PM

60 "vérités" amusantes à lire et sans doute, "vraies" pour la plupart

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The Productivity Tricks and Daily Habits of Famous People

The Productivity Tricks and Daily Habits of Famous People | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Famous visionaries often develop a reputation for having a few eccentricities. However, for many people, these small eccentricities are part of a larger group of daily rituals that help them to be at their most productive and prolific. While not all these tips, tricks, and rituals will work for you, they help to shed light on what some of our most beloved cultural icons and historical figures are willing to do in order to stay on top of their demanding workloads.


Writers


1. Addicted to Notecards: Vladimir Nabokov used 5- by 8-inch index cards to compose and order the scenes in his novels. This allowed him to experiment with the order of the chapters before transcribing the final manuscript.


2. Slow and Steady: Stephen King has explained that he always writes 10 pages a day, every day of the year (even holidays). His slow and steady approach to project management has ensured that he has a steady stream of new works entering the marketplace, and he is one of the most prolific modern authors working in America today.


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8 Steps To Setting Your Goals And Targets

8 Steps To Setting Your Goals And Targets | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

The world has become a place of goal driven and target driven people, sometimes, in my opinion to the extent where you can actually forget what you are working for. Goals and targets are used as a motivator to encourage people to strive to meet their targets and achieve their goals, often for personal or business achievement and frequently to the detriment of good living. Life is a journey not a destination and goals and targets are set to meet other people’s needs or that of the business. When working for yourself, from home, then this is where you need to define your own personal goals and targets. You have the power to set these yourself. While this is wonderful in terms of personal freedom, defining, setting and meeting your own targets and goals can be an extremely difficult if not frustrating task in itself.


With careful planning and some quite initial thought at the outset setting your goals can be an exciting and inspiring experience. Achieving them does require some single mindedness, determination and fortitude. Stepping out on the path……to reach your goals is easy. Maintaining the momentum and direction needs some work!


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27 Traits Of Successful People

27 Traits Of Successful People | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Is it really possible to become a successful person in just one day? I actually believe you can become a successful person in just one second.


Why? Because to be a successful person you only have to change your thoughts and start to think like a successful person. Your have to program your brain to respond differently to situations that it was previously refusing.


But how exactly are successful people made and how do they think? I’ve read and studied a lot of books on the subject, as well as experimenting and asking around. The following is list of 27 traits that distinguish successful people from ordinary people. If you take the commitment to apply every day each principle in your life, you’ll start to see amazing results in no time.


  1. They are positive. Successful people don’t let negative events alter their ego. They see the glass half full and not half empty. They are known as the ones who raises positiveness among others. Benefits: other people want to stay with them because they make them feel better.
  2. They say yes to everything. They take every opportunity they can. They are not afraid of doing something new, like giving a talk in public. They take everything like a challenge with themselves...


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10 Things To Stop Caring About Today

10 Things To Stop Caring About Today | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Every day is a new beginning. But in life, sometimes you have to stop before you can truly begin. So starting today…


Stop caring about everyone’s opinion of you.


For the most part, what other people think and say about you doesn’t matter. When I was younger I let the opinions of my high school and early college peers influence my decisions. And at times they steered me away from ideas and goals I strongly believed in. I realize now, many years later, that this was a foolish way to live, especially when I consider that nearly all of these people whose opinions I cared so much about are no longer a part of my life.


Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and say about you isn’t important. What is important is how you feel about yourself. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.


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3 Questions Answered by Sir Richard Branson

3 Questions Answered by Sir Richard Branson | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

If you are a regular reader of this blog you already know that I am a HUGE fan of Sir Richard Branson?

Why?


Because he keeps going no matter the situation. If obstacles occur, he goes over, around or through them. If one plan won’t work, he thinks of another way to do it.


A badly damaged knee as a teenager stopped him from being the sportsman that he likely would have been. If he hadn’t been dyslexic he would not have left school at sixteen and started a magazine. That magazine ultimately led to the birth of Virgin Records. And the rest, as they say, is history.


In this brief 4 minute clip he is asked to give advice to entrepreneurs. That advice applies to all of us. Here’s why. Webster’s Dictionary says that an entrepreneur is “one who organizes, manages, and assumes the risks of a business or enterprise.”


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Overcoming the Fear of Making Mistakes

Overcoming the Fear of Making Mistakes | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people.” This is a famous quote from Anne Lamott in her book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Intuitively, we know that perfectionism is unrealistic and restrictive, a tyrant that steals success. In fact, there are many sayings and experts that stress the importance of making mistakes for creating and achieving great things.


But still there are many people who fear making mistakes. According to Martin Antony, Ph.D, professor of psychology at Ryerson University and co-author of When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough, “Generally, fears are influenced by both our biological and genetic makeup, as well as our experiences.”


We model what we see, Antony said. He gave the example of parents expressing their fears over making mistakes, which a child, like a sponge, soaks up.


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Difficult Conversations: Nine Common Mistakes - Harvard Business Review

Difficult Conversations: Nine Common Mistakes - Harvard Business Review | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

Mistake #1: We fall into a combat mentality.

When difficult conversations turn toxic, it's often because we've made a key mistake: we've fallen into a combat mentality. This allows the conversation to become a zero-sum game, with a winner and a loser. But the reality is, when we let conversations take on this tenor – especially at the office – everyone looks bad, and everyone loses. The real enemy is not your conversational counterpart, but the combat mentality itself. And you can defeat it, with strategy and skill.


Mistake #2: We try to oversimplify the problem.
If the subject of your argument were straightforward, chances are you wouldn't be arguing about it. Because it's daunting to try and tackle several issues at once, we may try to roll these problems up into a less-complex Über-Problem. But the existence of such a beast is often an illusion. To avoid oversimplifying, remind yourself that if the issue weren't complicated, it probably wouldn't be so hard to talk about.


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10 Simple Truths Smart People Forget

10 Simple Truths Smart People Forget | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it
Some of the smartest people I know continuously struggle to get ahead because they forget to address a few simple truths that collectively govern our potential to make progress. So here’s a quick reminder:


#1 – Education and intelligence accomplish nothing without action.
It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action. There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action. It’s as simple as that. For some practical guidance on taking action, I highly recommend The Now Habit.


#2 – Happiness and success are two different things.
I know an extremely savvy businesswoman who made almost a million dollars online last year. Every entrepreneur I know considers her to be wildly successful. But guess what? A few days ago, out of the blue, she told me that she’s depressed...


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Slavica Bogdanov's comment, May 26, 2012 9:47 AM
Once again a great one, thanks!
Martin Gysler's comment, May 27, 2012 6:06 AM
You're welcome Slavica :)
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Emotional Intelligence theories - Daniel Goleman's EQ concepts

Emotional Intelligence theories - Daniel Goleman's EQ concepts | PEOPLE BUILDING | Scoop.it

With emotional intelligence you would have a tool to have success and to be happy in life. If you don't have read the book from Daniel Goleman, maybe you should. [note mg]


emotional intelligence theory (EQ - Emotional Quotient)


Emotional Intelligence - EQ - is a relatively recent behavioural model, rising to prominence with Daniel Goleman's 1995 Book called 'Emotional Intelligence'. The early Emotional Intelligence theory was originally developed during the 1970s and 80s by the work and writings of psychologists Howard Gardner (Harvard), Peter Salovey (Yale) and John 'Jack' Mayer (New Hampshire).


Emotional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organizational development and developing people, because the EQ principles provide a new way to understand and assess people's behaviours, management styles, attitudes, interpersonal skills, and potential. Emotional Intelligence is an important consideration in human resources planning, job profiling, recruitment interviewing and selection, management development, customer relations and customer service, and more.


Emotional Intelligence links strongly with concepts of love and spirituality: bringing compassion and humanity to work, and also to 'Multiple Intelligence' theory which illustrates and measures the range of capabilities people possess, and the fact that everybody has a value.


The EQ concept argues that IQ, or conventional intelligence, is too narrow; that there are wider areas of Emotional Intelligence that dictate and enable how successful we are. Success requires more than IQ (Intelligence Quotient), which has tended to be the traditional measure of intelligence, ignoring essential behavioural and character elements. We've all met people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially and inter-personally inept. And we know that despite possessing a high IQ rating, success does not automatically follow.


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