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The Amused Catholic: an Ezine
Thoughtful Catholic Hoopla. Collected pieces, mostly humorous, from across the web and blogs. We've got humor. We've got thoughtfulness. We've got art. We've got bacon.
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sometimes you just gotta laugh… | The Crescat

sometimes you just gotta laugh… | The Crescat | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

There is a metaphor in this somewhere....

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Huh-larious | Catholic and Enjoying It!

"Stuff Presbyterian Seminarians Say"--click the title for the video.

 

(an ecumenical humor moment)

 

HT Mark Shea.

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Still Small Voice Spectrum Distraction Analyzer — The Curt Jester

Still Small Voice Spectrum Distraction Analyzer — The Curt Jester | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

...Well if you want to hear that still small voice than the new SSV-33 full spectrum distraction analyzer is the product for you!...

 

More fine parody at the link (click title).

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Solomon invented Twitter. | Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff

Solomon invented Twitter. | Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

I don’t know how this would technically work, but I’m pretty sure Twitter needs to kick back some royalties to Solomon.

 

There is no doubt in my mind that the book of Proverbs was the original Twitter.

 

How do I know? How can I make such a bold, Old Spice Swagger strength statement?

 

Allow me to make my case:

 

4 ways Proverbs was the original Twitter....

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Bad Vestments: BISHOPS FROM THE PLANET XARCHON

Bad Vestments: BISHOPS FROM THE PLANET XARCHON | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Take your pick.

(1) They gave him this miter because his theology's, like, out there, man.

(2) Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Anglican Primate of Mars.

 

(Always willing to share ecumenical satire, everyone.)

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The Ironic Catholic: Caption Contest #110

The Ironic Catholic: Caption Contest #110 | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Click the title to participate in the caption contest on the blog!

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Because we haven't had bacon humor in a while....

Because we haven't had bacon humor in a while.... | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Voila.

 

And if you're thinking this isn't "thoughtful Catholic hoopla", remember we're a both/and religion and it definitely isn't Jewish.

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The Ironic Catholic: Kids Still Say the Darnedst Things (Aiii Yah! edition)

The Ironic Catholic: Kids Still Say the Darnedst Things (Aiii Yah! edition) | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Me: See this picture of Mary? We call this one "Our Lady of Grace".

 

Chic #2 (9 yr old): Oh, look, Mom. She has a belt on in this one, so does that mean she's pregnant in this picture? (She's connecting with Our Lady of Guadalupe, FYI)

 

Chic #3 (6 yr old): Oh, I don't think so. I think this means she really likes karate!

 

(The symbolic possibilities abound....)

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Cake Wrecks - Home - A Star Is Born

Cake Wrecks - Home - A Star Is Born | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

As we all wince for our brothers and sisters in faith...Hannukah cake wrecks.  Click through at the title.

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Bold predictions for the religious world in 2012 | National Catholic Reporter

...let's look at what my own gift of prophecy tells me about what is coming in 2012 in the field of religion. If, by the end of the new year, you don't recall seeing any of what I predict coming true, you may be sure that it's only because you missed it.

 

*As a promotional tool, the United Methodist Church will ask Garrison Keillor to quit making fun of Lutherans and start making fun of Methodists.

 

*In city after city, new franchise liquor stores will spring up not far from Catholic churches, and each store will be named "And With Your Spirits." Church members who can ask for merlot in Latin will get an automatic 10 percent discount.

 

*To investigate what all of its previously appointed committees have been doing in recent years, the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) will appoint a committee.

 

...

[click the title for more]

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Star Wars and the History of Vatican II

Star Wars and the History of Vatican II | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

"The outrageous but bizarrely supportable thesis statement that I lay before you is this: the Star Wars saga symbolizes the history of Vatican II."

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Man’s ‘angel posse’ disturbs friends - LarkNews.com - A Good Source for Christian News

Man’s ‘angel posse’ disturbs friends - LarkNews.com - A Good Source for Christian News | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

I like it when Lark News makes you think....

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IT CAME FROM ALLEN'S BRAIN!: Why they don't let me teach Jr High Social Studies

IT CAME FROM ALLEN'S BRAIN!: Why they don't let me teach Jr High Social Studies | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Chapter 15 Study Guide

 

Key terms, people, events, places:

 

1. Serfs: Rides the ocean waves on a long board.

 

2. Humanism: Belief in the existence of humans -- "A human is, um..."

 

3. Imperialism: Going to Burger King in ancient Rome.

 

4. Czar: The wrong way to spell "car."

 

[more at the link--click title]

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The Ironic Catholic: Scientists Discover Gasoline Is Liquefied Mammon

The Ironic Catholic: Scientists Discover Gasoline Is Liquefied Mammon | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

In a discovery that explained the soaring costs of gasoline, scientists at the French Institute of Applied Science and Research found that the elements of 99% of gas sold at the pump to be pure Mammon....

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The Ironic Catholic: Bumper stickers suddenly look subtle...

The Ironic Catholic: Bumper stickers suddenly look subtle... | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Behold, the new over-evangelization.

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IT CAME FROM ALLEN'S BRAIN!: If there were a Christian version of FaceBook:

IT CAME FROM ALLEN'S BRAIN!: If there were a Christian version of FaceBook: | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

-Would there be “friend” requests, since everyone is automatically granted “neighbor” status?

 

-Perhaps there would be “brother/sister” or “orthodox” requests.

 

-“Unfriend” would be “Disfellowship” or “Excommunicate.” It would come with a note that says, “Don’t worry! Jesus told us to love and pray for our enemies, too!”

 

-Instead of “like/dislike,” we could have “Amen!/Heresy!”

 

-Instead of games like Farmville, we’d probably have Mission Field, or ChurchPlant.

 

-Oh, and we’d probably call it “FaithBook.”

 

Add yours in the comment box (at the Allen's Brain blog!)

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TV quote from Happy Catholic, from The Tick

Tick: Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog!

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Dave Barry’s Year in Review: The 2011 Festival of Sleaze

Celebrity meltdowns, creepy sex capers and political gasbaggery: Is everyone ready to kick 2011 to the curb?
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Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village

Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
Web users who choose to move to the desolate village are guaranteed an environment free from Google products and natural light from the sun.

Via Rob Kaiser
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The Ironic Catholic: Truth Is Stranger #129: Let My Angora Goats Go! Or just get into the spirit of things and give birth already.

Live Nativities Gone Wild.

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5 More Things No One Knows Are Ridiculously Catholic, But Should

5 More Things No One Knows Are Ridiculously Catholic, But Should | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
A mild follow-up to the unbelievably spicy 5 Things No One Knows Are Ridiculously Catholic, But Should.
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The Ironic Catholic: Snarky Christmas Card Berates Sending Family Pictures, Beginning Internet War

The Ironic Catholic: Snarky Christmas Card Berates Sending Family Pictures, Beginning Internet War | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

New York, NY: The gasps in the home office quickly turned into an internet roar.

 

The Delilah and Bill Johnson family's Christmas card-- 4' x 6', gilt-edged, and glossy-- has on its front a picture of the Blessed Mother and baby Jesus.

 

What disturbed recipients was the 10 point bulleted section on the inside, titled "Why I am not sending you a picture of my family and you shouldn't either".

The points begin softly, noting "1. I just saw loads of your pictures on Picasa," "2. Little Joey is having a bad hair month" and "3. I never know when I can take your picture off my fridge and not feel guilty about it anymore, so I'm begging you to take my feelings into account."

 

But people began sputtering over some of the others: "6. In an age of self-glorification, I can do without saying I'm so obviously the reason for the season." "8. Look at an icon, for crying out loud. It's a freaking RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY" and "10. Joy to the World! The Lord Has Come! Wait, where's Jesus? Oh right, I CAN'T SEE HIM BECAUSE I'M FLOODED WITH PHOTOSHOPPED CHRISTMAS PICTURES OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS DRESSED IN MATCHING RED AND GREEN SWEATERS!"

 

(click title for more....)

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How to make Christmas cookies (revised translation) « The Deacon's Bench

In the comments section of Commonweal, James Martin (in a similar spirit, and with our spirit) has helpfully provided this blessing for Christmas cookies:

 

“O God, who see the cookies that you have graciously deigned to allow us to bake here according to this recipe that you have given us that we may give to others that which you have given to us here, bless, we pray, them, O Lord, that you may allow us to offer them in return to many, as we seek to preveniently nourish these your holy people, we pray, with the ineffable taste of the flour that you have graciously allowed us to refine, O Lord, with the milky milk that milkily issues forth abundantly from the many bovine animals which you have made and from the sweet sugar that sweetly comes from the sweet sugar cane plants which you have created for we your people, who humbly implore your blessings, that all of us may humbly eat of them, in order that you might, O Lord, we humbly beseech you, bless us and them, and, we pray, O Lord, and I forgot what where I was going with this prayer.”

 

Amen.

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The Ironic Catholic: The Beginning of Catholic Love of Basketball....

The Ironic Catholic: The Beginning of Catholic Love of Basketball.... | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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Hermit of Bardstown's comment, December 14, 2011 4:37 AM
well, you put it that way.... LOL