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The Amused Catholic: an Ezine
Thoughtful Catholic Hoopla. Collected pieces, mostly humorous, from across the web and blogs. We've got humor. We've got thoughtfulness. We've got art. We've got bacon.
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Easter Enigmas: Cake Wrecks

Easter Enigmas: Cake Wrecks | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

PG-13 content, fyi.

 

 

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The Ironic Catholic: Liturgists, Musicians, Lectors Flood Rehab Post-Easter Masses

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Russian Military Builds a Flying Church

Russian military has implemented an innovative way to provide prayer services in the battlefield. According to the Russian media outlet, RT, Russian military claims it has built the world's only flying chapel.
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The Ironic Catholic: New Mystery Book of the Bible Unearthed, Then Found To Be Already In Old Testament

(A re-run!)

 

Hebron, Israel: Biblical archeologists announced last week that a new book of the Bible has been found on a preserved scroll in a remote cave three kilometers from the current site of Hebron, Israel.

 

"Fascinating material," pronounced American Benjamin Tandelli, the lead excavator. "Clearly a dark vision, apocalyptic in tone, full of despair and doubt, and lyrical in trusting the grandeur of God. It seems to me a worthy companion to recent discoveries of biblical era material, such as the Gospel of Judas and other secret texts."

 

Tandelli's enthusiasm was brought to a screeching halt two days later when the unnamed scroll was identified as the Book of Habakkuk, which is already in the Old Testament.

....

[More at title link]

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The Ironic Catholic: You want to get insulted by Martin Luther?

[Click through for the one and only Luther insult generator, all from his written works....]

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The Ironic Catholic: Caption Contest #111

The Ironic Catholic: Caption Contest #111 | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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When Benedict met Shirley « The Deacon's Bench

When Benedict met Shirley « The Deacon's Bench | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Please click through to read--this one is a howler.  God bless Mrs. Dolan!

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The Ironic Catholic: NPR marks 'Kick a Catholic Week' with new t-shirt pledge drive gift

The Ironic Catholic: NPR marks 'Kick a Catholic Week' with new t-shirt pledge drive gift | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Beginning this week, listeners who donate to National Public Radio member stations will have more than the usual organic cotton tote bags and “Car Talk” bumper stickers to choose from as thank-you gifts. Now, they can opt for an official NPR “Kick a Catholic!” t-shirt as well.

 

“We’re always looking for new incentives for our pledge drives,” said NPR promotions director Frank Byast. “People like things that are a fun twist on the news, so we think the ‘Kick a Catholic!’ thank you gifts will be a big hit. No pun intended.”

 

The shirt and mug were inspired by NPR’s “Kick a Catholic Week,” the brainchild of NPR reporters forced to cover the controversy generated by the Obama administration’s mandate that Catholic institutions pay for contraceptives and abortifacients.

 

“We thought, ‘Okay, we can’t ignore this anymore, so how can we have fun with it?’” said Morning Edition host Steve Inskeep. “That’s the nice thing about a story like this. When one side is so clearly wrong, you’re a little less concerned about being fair and balanced. It’s like covering the fall of communism in Eastern Europe. You’re not going to ‘balance out’ your coverage by interviewing Nicolae Ceaușescu, right? It’s the same with the Catholic bishops.”

 

[more at the title link....]

 

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IT CAME FROM ALLEN'S BRAIN!: Scary Valentines of Yore

IT CAME FROM ALLEN'S BRAIN!: Scary Valentines of Yore | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Suddenly Hallmark looks sane.  These are seriously creepy Valentines, folks.  There are more (with Allen's apt commentary) when you click the image....

 

p.s. this is what happens when the Saint gets separated from the feast day!

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The Ironic Catholic: Hitler Reacts to the New Roman Missal

The video!

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Cant hug every nun.avi

Every time I see a nun I want to hug her. But that's just crazy. You can't hug every nun.
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Bad Vestments: FULLY INVOLVED

Bad Vestments: FULLY INVOLVED | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

When it comes to the image of fire in Christianity, DIRECTION IS EVERYTHING.

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Happy Catholic: I love this Catholic theology tip

Happy Catholic: I love this Catholic theology tip | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

The other fun part of 10,000 Gun Questions Night is keeping it strictly Catholic. I often hear a double complaint about the Church:


How can we possibly have a firm teaching on anything?

And if so, why don’t we have a firm teaching on everything?

 

As if it were somehow more logical to worship a god who gave out brains and then refused to let you use them. [Catholic moral theology tip: If God gives you something, He's got a plan for how it's supposed to be used. Thy body is not a knick knack.]

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The Ironic Catholic: Church Musicians After Holy Week

The Ironic Catholic: Church Musicians After Holy Week | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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The Ironic Catholic: Happy St. Patrick's Day....

The Ironic Catholic: Happy St. Patrick's Day.... | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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Pithless Thoughts: Orthograph # 143 - How to Do Lent #2

Pithless Thoughts: Orthograph # 143 - How to Do Lent #2 | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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Diet Coke with Bacon. 'Nuff said

Diet Coke with Bacon.  'Nuff said | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

The Ezine's "We've got bacon" promise, fulfilled.

 

Better yet: It's a tattoo!

 

http://www.tattoodonkey.com

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Humorlectics — The Curt Jester

Humorlectics — The Curt Jester | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Humorlectics is a portmanteau I have coined roughly combining humor and homiletics. Humorlectics is a field I think gets short shrift in seminary. Though I also get the feeling that homiletics is an area that gets short shrift in the seminary.

 

I bring this up concerning the use of humor during a homily. Being a Jester and all I of course believe that humor can be used to make serious points and can certainly be prudently used in a homily. From my limited experience as a convert I have seen humor used both well and not so well.

 

So here are some of my general reflections on the subject: ...[click on title for link]

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Pithless Thoughts: Orthograph #142 - How to Do Lent

Pithless Thoughts: Orthograph #142 - How to Do Lent | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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The Ironic Catholic: Even more cool things to give up for Lent

Go beyond chocolate! Past years' efforts can be found at the title link.

 

Even more cool things to give up for Lent, starting this Wednesday, Feb 22:

 

1. chap stick
2. jewelry
3. butter
4. trusting political figures to be our salvation
5. the letter z (you would have to work around every word with that letter in speech and writing. And before you knock it--it's constant vigilance, and harder than you think)
6. the words "liberal", "conservative", "traditional", and "progressive" (Catholic bloggers, see #5)
7. commercials (turn them off every time you watch TV or listen to the radio, and no lingering in newspapers or magazines)
8. internal speeches disguised as "prayers"
9. sleep from 5am-6am (Whee. Suddenly found prayer time!)
10. doubt. Really. Just live it, full out, for six weeks. See what happens.

 

 

BONUS: contraception! It's so darned topical these days. Kind of awkward to share at the water cooler on Wednesday, though. Also, doesn't work as well for priests and religious.

 

 

p.s. Chic (CHild of the Ironic Catholic) #2 wanted me to do a poll. See sidebar at the left of the blog and put your vote in!

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The Ironic Catholic: Saints Cyril and Methodius: "Still Waiting For Your Card"

The Ironic Catholic: Saints Cyril and Methodius: "Still Waiting For Your Card" | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Heaven: By definition, everything is good and right in heaven. But it doesn't mean that saints don't have feelings.

 

That's the message that has been leaked by Slavonic members of the heavenly chorus this February 14th: although they don't begrudge the honoring of Saint Valentine this day, the communion of saints think Cyril and Methodius would like a card or prayer or two.

 

"The thing is, we all know Valentine. And he's a great man, a martyr and a great saint. But you know, Cyril and Methodius were great evangelists who brought the liturgy to the Slavic peoples at great costs. Cyril even created the Cyrillic alphabet, for Pete's sake, and they promoted Mass in the vernacular about 1000 years before it was popular. We all know they have received their reward, but they may like a fancy card too, don't you think?" said a saint who preferred to remain anonymous in order to give the glory to God alone.

 

[more at the title, click through]

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Pithless Thoughts: Following Too Closely

Pithless Thoughts: Following Too Closely | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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The Ironic Catholic: Religious Institutions Forced to Pay for Employees’ Slaves

The Ironic Catholic: Religious Institutions Forced to Pay for Employees’ Slaves | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Washington, DC, April 19, 1847: The U.S. administration, after considering a conscientious objection exemption for religious institutions, decided that Catholics institutions must pay a “forced servanthood fee” for employees who wish to own slaves, up to $1,000 a slave per year.

 

“It is the law of many states that slavery is legal, and white men are free to own slaves. Indeed, most white men want to own slaves, seeing how abolitionists are treated like village idiots. So it seems natural and fully American that we should force Catholic institutions in slave states to facilitate owning others, and potentially killing them if they do not fit their needs. We won’t make parishes comply because we don’t think they own slaves anyway, but every other Church affiliated institution, you have a year to change your entire moral system to suit,” argued the Secretary of Health and Human Slavery, Mr. Charles Moore.

 

Catholic Bishops responded with outrage, arguing the mandate trespasses the freedom of religion clause in the constitution, by forcing them to act in opposition to their doctrine. However, many people on Twitter said “They just hate slave owners and the Southern way of life, grow up #freaks”, so that must be true.

 

... [more at the title link]

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A Humorous, Insightful Taxonomy of Sin | Black, White and Gray

A Humorous, Insightful Taxonomy of Sin | Black, White and Gray | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it

Explains a lot.

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Archangel's Advocate's comment, February 2, 2012 9:28 PM
Never has the enneagram been so misused.
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One of the Works of Mercy… | Catholic and Enjoying It!

One of the Works of Mercy… | Catholic and Enjoying It! | The Amused Catholic: an Ezine | Scoop.it
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