The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming
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The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming
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⌚ Seven NLP Meta-Programs for Understanding People : Sources of Insight

⌚ Seven NLP Meta-Programs for Understanding People : Sources of Insight | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), meta-programs are the keys to the way you process information. They’re basically how you form your internal representations and direct your behavior.

In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Tony Robbins writes about meta-programs that people use to sort and make sense of the world.

Key Take Aways

Here are my key take aways:

  • Use meta-programs to understand yourself and others...
  • Remember that people use a blend of meta-programs
  • Change your own limiting meta-programs.

Ultimately,... knowing how people work, helps bridge gaps. It can also lead you to self-understanding and the better you know yourself, the better you can drive yourself...

⌚ 7 Meta-ProgramsMeta Program #1 – Toward or Away

Robbins writes:

“All human behavior revolves around the urge gain pleasure or avoid pain. You pull away from a lighted match in order to avoid the pain of burning your hand. You sit and watch a beautiful sunset because you get pleasure from the glorious celestial show as day glides into night.”

 Meta-Program #2 – External or Internal Frame of Reference

Robbins writes:

“Ask someone else how he know when he’s done a good job. For some people, the proof comes from the outside. The boss pats you on the back and says your work was great. You get a raise. You win a big award. Your work is noticed and applauded by your peers. When you get that sort of external approval, you know your work is good. That’s an external frame of reference.  For others, the proof comes from inside. They ‘just know inside’ when they’ve done well.”

 Meta-Program #3 – Sorting By Self or Sorting by Others

Robbins writes:

“Some people look at human interactions primarily in terms of what’s in it for them personally, some in terms of what they can do for themselves or others. Of course, people don’t always fall into one extreme or the other. If you sort only by self, you become a self-absorbed egotist. If you sort only by others, you become a martyr.”

⌚ Meta-Program #4 – Matcher or Mismatcher

Robbins writes:

“This meta-program determines how you sort information to learn, understand, and the like. Some people respond to the world by finding sameness. They look at things and see what they have in common. They’re matchers. Other people are mismatchers — difference people. There are two kinds of them. One type looks at the world and sees how things are different … The other kind of mismatcher sees differences with exceptions. He’s like a matcher who finds sameness with exceptions in reverse – he sees the differences first, and then he’ll add the things they have in common.”

 Meta-Program #5 – Convincer Strategy

Robbins writes:

“The convincer strategy has two parts. To figure out what consistently convinces someone, you must first find out what sensory building blocks he needs to become convinced, and then you must discover how often he has to receive these stimuli before becoming convinced.”

 Meta-Program #6 – Possibility vs. Necessity

Robbins writes:

“Ask someone why he went to work for his present company or why he bought  his current car or house. Some people are motivated primarily by necessity, rather than by what they want. They do something because they must. They’re not pulled to take action by what is possible. They’re not looking for infinite varieties of experience. They go through life taking what comes and what is available. When they need a new job or a new house or a new car or even a new spouse, they go out and accept what is available.  Others are motivated to look for possibilities. They’re motivated less by what they have to do than by what they want to do. They seek options, experiences, choices, paths.”

 Meta-Program #7 – Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles

Robbins writes:

“Everyone has his own strategy for work. Some people are not happy unless they’re independent. They have great difficulty working closely with other people and can’t work well under a great deal of supervision. They have to run their own show. Others function best as a part of a group. We call their strategy a cooperative one. They want to share responsibility for any task they take on. Still others have a proximity strategy, which is somewhere in between. They prefer to work with other people while maintaining a sole responsibility for a task. They’re in charge but not alone."

➳ Additional Considerations

Robbins provides the following suggestions:

  • All NLP metaprograms are context-and stress-related
  • There are two ways to change NLP meta-programs. One is from a significant emotional event.   The other way you can change is by consciously deciding to do so.
  • Use NLP meta-programs on two levels. The first is a tool to calibrate and guide your communication with others. The second is a tool for personal change.
  • Constantly gauge and calibrate the people around you. Take note of specific patterns they have for perceiving their world and begin to analyze if others have similar patterns.
  • Through this approach you can develop a whole set of distinctions about people that can empower you in knowing how to communicate effectively with all types of people.
  • Become a student of possibility. NLP Meta-programs give you the tools to make crucial distinctions in deciding how to deal with people. You are not limited to the meta-programs discussed here.

>>Highly Supportive>>

✔ How The Language We Use Can Delete, Distort and Generalize 
Our Thinking and Communication...

✔ On Deep Structure and Surface Structure

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Mhd.Shadi Khudr's insight:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” –  Carl Gustav Jung

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NLP Presuppositions

NLP Presuppositions | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |


NLP has a number of principles, more commonly referred to as presuppositions.


These presuppositions are not claimed to be true. We accept them as if they were true, and apply them in practical ways in our daily life. If they bring real improvements in our life or performance, we can continue to use them as if they were true.


These presuppositions form an important basis for understanding what NLP is all about. URL




Presuppositions are statements in which some unstated element must be assumed (pre-supposed) to be true in order for the statement to make sense (to be true or false).

That is, the surface structure of the statements (the specific words and their meanings) omit or obscure the deep structure of the statements (their underlying message or presupposed truths).


In the Meta Model, presupposition forms are named for the manner in which the sentences that contain them either delete or obscure the presupposition from the surface structure. URL



Certain things are presupposed in effective communication. Some of these are as follows:


1. The meaning of a communication is the response you get.


2. The map is not the territory.


3. Language is a secondary representation of experience.


4. Mind and body are parts of the same cybernetic system and affect each other.


5. The law of requisite variety (also known as the first law of cybernetics - cybernetics is the science of systems and controls in animals, including humans, and machines) states that in any cybernetic system the element or person in the system with the widest range of behaviours or variability of choice will control the system.


6. Behaviour is geared towards adaptation.


7. Present behaviour represents the very best choice available to a person.


8. Behaviour is to be evaluated and appreciated or changed as appropriate in the context presented.


9. People have all the resources they need to make the changes they want.


10. 'Possible in the world' or 'possible for me' is only a matter of how.


11. The highest quality information about other people is behavioural.


12. It is useful to make a distinction between behaviour and self.


13. There is no such thing as failure; there is only feedback.


The benefits could almost be immediate as NLP is based on practical experience rather than theory. URL



In details 



> Highly Supportive: 





How to apply NLP presuppositions to yourself fast




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A critical review of NLP as an effective treatment choice of psychotherapeutic change

A critical review of NLP as an effective treatment choice of psychotherapeutic change | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

This is a  critical review of NLP as an effective treatment choice of psychotherapeutic change in individuals with depression or anxiety, by Lisa Wake.


There is an increasing burden on the NHS and the Department of Work and Pensions from those individuals who are unable to work because of mental illness.

Layard et al (2006) identified that over 50% of individuals who are in receipt of incapacity benefit have mental illness as a primary or secondary cause.

There are also increasing pressures on the NHS to provide effective treatments that are evidence based.

Currently Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the preferred treatment of choice identified by the National Institute for Clinical Excellence, because of its brevity and demonstrable effectiveness through randomised controlled trials.

Most other approaches to psychotherapy involve long term care, which has an increased level of cost to the NHS.

This paper reports on the evidence base for a similar form of psychological therapy to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, neurolinguistic psychotherapy and makes recommendations for research into the effectiveness of this approach.


The question posed in this critical review is whether neurolinguistic psychotherapy or NLP is an effective treatment choice of psychotherapeutic change in individuals with depression or anxiety.


¶ Interesting contrast:  NLP and CBT

>> Also see this Very interesting opinion (NLP vs Psychotherapy)

by John David Hoag

Bonus ‡‡

Effects of Neuro-Linguistic Psychotherapy on psychological difficulties and perceived quality of life

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Transform Your Life With NLP

Transform Your Life With NLP | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Transform Your Life with NLP gives you the motivation and the tools you need to change any, or every, aspect of your life. Use the NLP mindset to program your subconscious, and you will be able to improve anything from sporting success to work performance.

You can also use NLP to boost your self-esteem and to find resilience at times of stress or pressure.

You don't need to be an expert or even to have any experience of NLP, and a tailored 2-week program at the end of the book will ensure you reach all your goals and help you to set new ones.

Featuring self-assessment exercises, write-in review areas and other learning materials that really work, this book has the power to change your life.


Great Bonus:

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Jaie Hart's curator insight, April 9, 2015 9:01 AM

I love NLP when it's used for self-help, dislike when it is used for manipulation but that's just me. :)

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How To Be An Alpha Male | Ten Traits of the Modern Day Alpha

Back in 2006, Alpha started his image consulting company. He chose the name 'alpha m.' because it was less in-your-face macho & obvious than Alpha Male and had a much better ring than King of the Jungle!
The comments in the YouTube point out that Aaron Marino of alpha m. is not an alpha male: height, high pitched voice, earrings, and the list goes on and one. He 'gets it' because historically an alpha male is powerful in their presence and personality. In the modern day, however, all of us can be alpha men.

Alpha is constantly thinking what it means to be a man in today's world. The men that will get ahead in today's world are Renaissance men- the leaders. They are good at a lot of things and strive for self improvement. These are the characteristics:

Ten Personality Traits of the Modern Day Alpha Male:
1. Pride in yourself and everything you do
2. Self esteem - respecting yourself and not putting yourself in compromising situations
3. Loyalty - people, obligations, and to your word
4. Compassion - thinking about the world outside of yourself and taking action
5. Respect - you don't have to agree with people all the time but you can respect their opinion as well as respect them as a person and human
6. Motivation - intrinsically and extrinsically motivated to move forward
7. Passion - something burning deep inside
8. Honesty - live up to your word
9. Courage - the ability to do something that scares you
10. Confidence - doesn't mean you are good or proficient at everything but that's okay

We don't have to big, tall, strong, or domineering. We DO have to be in touch with who we are: strive to be better, be Renaissance men, live with passion, purpose, and confidence. Unlock the alpha male in yourself by embracing these ten principles.

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How to Transform Your Tears Into Laughter

How to Transform Your Tears Into Laughter | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Every experience in life has a purpose, a reason and season to it. There is a time for sadness, and a time for joy. 

When you truly can let your tears flow, and allow the deepest sadness within you to rise to the surface, it becomes a powerful source of healing that brings profound realizations to your life. 

By allowing your deepest possible sadness to be felt and experienced, that energy opens a humility inside you and a vulnerability that touches the core of your being. 

It pulls you down to bottom of your emotional ocean where you find the easiest sweetest surrender to the very source of who you are.

  "At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities." ~ Jean Houston 

"Your body cannot heal without play. Your mind cannot heal without laughter. Your soul cannot heal without joy." ~ Catherine Fenwick 

"A sense of humor is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life." ~Hugh Sidey 

'Supportively' Supportive:

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How to beat the workplace bully

How to beat the workplace bully | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Bullies are not just a bad memory from schooldays, they are an unwelcome presence in many of today's workplaces.

Although they may not help themselves to your dinner money, trip you up in the corridor and administer Chinese burns, they intimidate and threaten in more subtle ways.

Here you are some hints and tips on how to tackle such challenge.

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How to Negotiate so Everyone Wins, Especially You! Must Watch

CISCDR Fifth Anniversary Distinguished Visitor Lecture presented by the Center for the Interdisciplinary Study of Conflict and Dispute Resolution
Case Western Reserve University School of LawSpeaker:
Ronald M. Shapiro
Shapiro Negotiations Institute

Negotiations expert, attorney, sports agent, and award-winning author Ron Shapiro will share the key principles of effective negotiations — for getting what you want while building stronger relationships.

His method includes focusing on client needs through listening and the 3P's: Prepare-Probe-Propose, and is the subject of his book, The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins -- Especially You!.

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▶ Alter your perspective >> Fun mind game


When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.


With this mind game, find new ways to look at your problems with a new perspective. Use NLP and new solutions will appear like magic!

This fun interactive exercise will help you see just how easy it is to change your perspective and find happiness!


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The Map is Not the Territory

The Map is Not the Territory | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

A founding principle of NLP, the distinction between a map and a territory made its debut in Alfred Korzybski's 1933 seminal work, Science and Sanity: An Introduction to Non-Aristotelian Systems and General Semantics.

The idea seems simple enough -- who, after all, would confuse a roadmap with a road, or a menu with a meal? 

Our brains will use whatever maps we give them.

"We know the world by a process of constantly transforming it into ourselves." -- Alan Watts

We can improve our maps. And by doing so, we can improve the quality of our lives.

Therapeutic Value

"The Map is Not The Territory," has tremendous therapeutic value. It allows us to accept our thoughts and feelings for what they are -- just thoughts, just feelings.

It encourages us to take our thoughts with a grain of salt.

We can become curious about them, we can evaluate them, and we can change them if other thoughts or feelings would be more useful, healthy and life affirming.

We can improve our maps. And by doing so, we can improve the quality of our lives, our experiences, our relationships, our health and our success.

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5 NLP Techniques That Will Transform Your Life

5 NLP Techniques That Will Transform Your Life | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Here you are some of the most impactful techniques that will help you change behavior, get better results and attract more positive experiences.

1. Dissociation...

It’s easy to react to something negatively and then become stressed or upset about it. For example, if your partner drives you crazy and you get angry in response.

2. Content Reframe...

This NLP technique works great when you are in a situation which makes you feel powerless, angry or when something negative happens to you. It changes the meaning of the situation making you think about it in a different, more empowering way. In other words, it allows you to put the content of the situation in a different frame.

3. Self-anchoring...

Self-anchoring is mainly used in NLP to elicit some kind of emotional response to something that you do or say. For example, it is possible for the person to start unconsciously smiling when you touch his/her shoulder.

4. Rapport...

Rapport is a very important and quite easy skill to master that enables you to get along with any kind of person.

There are many ways to create rapport with people. You can follow the breathing patterns of a person, you can mirror his/her body language (not too obviously, of course) or you can use similar words that the other person uses.

5. Belief Change...

There are three types of limiting beliefs:

Beliefs about cause

Beliefs about meaning

Beliefs about identity

If done properly, these five NLP techniques can change many aspects of your life.

If some technique doesn’t seem to produce the desired effect, keep repeating the exercise until the wanted effect is reached.

These NLP techniques are very effective and work on everyone. It’s definitely worth taking a few minutes to try at least a couple of them.

When you see the results, you will be more than happy to spend some time to apply them to all the areas of your life that need improvement.

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Contemplate and Move On

Contemplate and Move On | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

"The only good luck many great men ever had was being  born with the ability and determination to overcome  bad luck."

                                                                      __Channing Pollock

“Free your expectation of the future from the grip of past failure.”

                                                                     __John Seymour

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
                                                                     __Albert Einstein


"The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore."
                                                                    __Dale Carnegie

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» How to Deal with a Cantankerous Grump

» How to Deal with a Cantankerous Grump | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Dealing day in and day out with a cantankerous grump?

You’re not going to heal him from the outside in, but there are some simple, counter-intuitive things you can do to manage the situation and even inspire change.

Here are three ideas you may have never considered.

1. Your mindset is the most important thing.

Most people, women in particular, are intimidated by a cantankerous grump.

Don’t be intimidated unless he is known to be violent (in that case, we are dealing with a violent individual, not a mere grump – totally different scenario which we are not discussing in this post).

Others’ grumpiness is physically harmless to you.

You don’t have to be afraid. You don’t have to run from the grumpiness.

You can stare it in the face and speak up. This is the attitude to have!

2. Preempt the grumpiness.

When you have something to say that Mr. Grumpy won’t like to hear, say it like this:

I have something to tell you and I know that you are going to get grumpy….

When you suggest that he will be grumpy, he is likely to resist your suggestion and NOT get grumpy.

Preempting the grumpiness is a great little trick that often works, although grumps catch onto it after a while.

It can be a temporary fix or something to use every once in a while.

3. Apologize to the grump...

Mr. Grumpy, I owe you an apology. Over all this time I have given you the wrong idea about who I am and what goes on inside me.

I have led you to believe that I can live with your grumpiness because I tolerate it...

Putting up with a grump feeds your own attachments to rejection and deprivation of your needs.

This may be very familiar to you, but is not necessary. Is it time to let go?

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Neuro Linguistic Programming in ELT

Neuro Linguistic Programming in ELT | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |


NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has been around in language teaching longer than we may realise.


Those teachers who incorporate elements of suggestopedia, community language learning, music, drama and body language into their lessons are already drawing on NLP as it stood twenty years ago.


NLP and language learning ✍(◔◡◔)
In NLP, information arrives via the senses, and 'six modalities' are identified as ways that different individuals
perceive the messages.


These modalities are:

  • Visual Remembered
  • Visual Constructed
  • Auditory Remembered
  • Auditory Remembered
  • Auditory Digital
  • Kinaesthetic


These clearly form the basis of what we now know as 'VAK' – the identification of visual, auditory andkinaesthetic learners and the need to cater for different learning styles in the classroom.

As externalities arrive, our perception of these is modified by three major elements - deletion,distortion and generalisation.  


In NLP, the following filters affect our model of the world and our behaviour, and in language learning, they explain a wide range of learning styles and strategies:



  • Deletion...
  • Distortion...
  • Generalisation...


However, what is actually learnt by individuals is dictated by their own personal filters. NLP identifies these as 'beliefs', 'values', 'decisions' and 'memories', broadly defined as the way someone handles information.


NLP also recognises the importance of non-verbal communication, particularly eye contact, posture, breathing and movement. 'Congruency' is achieved when there is a match between verbal and non-verbal communication.



NLP in the classroom 


Areas where NLP can have a real impact, however, are those which explore the relationships between students and between students and teacher, and those which help to create a healthy and positive learning environment:

  • Creating rapport...
  • Mirroring...


  • Creating positive states and anchoring...
  • Maintaining flow
    NLP fits in nicely with 'Flow Theory', the notion that learning flows like water and that the best learning takes place when uninterrupted....


  • Pacing and leading...
  • Perceptual positioning...
  • Modelling good practice...



Conclusion ✍(◔◡◔)
Whether one is a disciple of NLP or not, what is clear is that NLP and ELT are complementary in that NLP learns by observing communication patterns, and ELT learns from what NLP suggests as best practice in improving interpersonal communication and therefore learning.


There is nothing in NLP that is contrary to current ELT methodology in terms of communicative language learning and humanistic approaches, while NLP has much to contribute to the already vast repertoire of the informed eclectic.



Super Bonus 

NLP for Teachers: How to be a highly effective teacher



> Supportive:

haping a Training Course for Teachers
through NLP: 
Interview with Penny Tompkins and James Lawley



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Thinking Outside the Old Box With NLP

Thinking Outside the Old Box With NLP | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

"If you are even a modest consumer of mass media like the internet, television, cable TV, radio, newspapers, magazines and the like, there is a good chance your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes are not totally yours.

Mass media spends billions of dollars on consultants who tell them how to make your thoughts be their thoughts. It is called Public Relations. Does it work?

You bet it does! But it also homogenizes the thinking of the individual bringing the thinking to the level of “average.” And another way of saying “average” is “mediocre”...

Now, you are also a magnificent person inside. Why choose the “average/mediocre” path? I tell you why: because you have been told so many times that this is all you can do that you believe it!

And it is NOT TRUE! It is a false belief which does not even belong to you! Get rid of it and proceed to become truly magnificent!"

Tad James


Thinking outside the box (also thinking out of the box or thinking beyond the box) is a metaphor that means to think differently, unconventionally, or from a new perspective. This phrase often refers to novel or creative thinking.  

To think outside the box is to look farther and to try not thinking of the obvious things, but to try thinking beyond them. The term is thought to derive from management consultants in the 1970s and 1980s challenging their clients to solve the “nine dots” puzzle, whose solution requires some lateral thinking. 

 A matter of REFRAINING ◓ ◕


░ Want to think 'outside of the box'? Stop putting people in them

Like so many business cliches, the phrase "think outside the box" is overused.  It is a phrase like "low hanging fruit" whose days are numbered and over.  And yet, the phrase "think outside the box" caused me to reflect about something critical. We put people in boxes all the time....


Instead of thinking outside the box - GET RID OF THE BOX  




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Top ⓾ Ways to Make Yourself Look (and Be) Smarter (̶◉͛‿◉̶)

Top ⓾ Ways to Make Yourself Look (and Be) Smarter (̶◉͛‿◉̶) | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Whether you're trying to survive an intensive college schedule or just want to seem smarter in front of your friends, you can do a lot of things to both look and be smarter.

Here are ten simple tricks for boosting your real (and perceived) brain power.

 Read Faster and Better...

 Speak Up (and Do It With Expression)...

 Don't Fall Prey to BS*...

➐ Focus on What You Know...

 Get Some Exercise...

 Talk to Yourself...

 Learn a Second Language...

 Do Things the Hard Way...

 Know What Won't Make You Smarter...

 Just Believe You Can Be Smarter...

*Check this out. 

>> BONUS >>

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Body language, the power is in the palm of your hands!!

Allan Pease is an Honorary Professor of Psychology at ULIM International University, who researches and studies selling relationships and human communication. He teaches simple, field-tested skills and techniques that get results.

And he delivers his message in a humorous way, which motivates people to want to use. Allan's own experience and record in the field of selling, motivating and training is equalled by few others.

He is a born achiever, starting his career at the age of 10. Globally known as "Mr Body Language", his programs are used by businesses and governments to teach powerful relationship skills.

His messages are relevant to any area of life that involves winning people over and getting them to like you, co-operate, follow you or say 'yes'...

Mhd.Shadi Khudr's comment, February 20, 2015 12:45 PM
Thumbs UP for Estelblau
Mhd.Shadi Khudr's comment, February 20, 2015 12:46 PM
Cheers to Marc
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Stop Procrastinating in 5 Minutes

Stop Procrastinating in 5 Minutes | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Now create an imaginary future memory of being in a situation where, in the past, you’ve tended to procrastinate. And bring that flowing energy into it, and watch yourself as you just deal with it and complete it and move on to the next thing.

And when you’re really in that situation, you can access your anchor for positive energy and enthusiasm that you’ve created, and enjoy the flow as it carries you through and out the other side.


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Dealing with the Anger Habit

Dealing with the Anger Habit | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Back in the 1700's there was a British physician called John Hunter. He had a very bad temper and, not surprisingly, suffered from angina pectoris.

He used to say: "My life is at the mercy of any scoundrel who chooses to put me in a passion". This was prophetic.

At a meeting of the board of St. Georges Hospital he became involved in a heated argument, walked out, and dropped dead...

What anger does to us...What is anger?...

Right... or Happy?...How does it occur?...

What to do about anger?

(1) Keep it in - or let it out?...

(2) Dissolving anger...

(3) A trigger a week...

It's not all 'bad'

Do remember that not all anger is unhealthy.

Sometimes anger is quite appropriate - it can be our final defence against allowing other people to manipulate or dominate us.

And it can motivate us to take action against injustice. Anger is healthy when it is not on-going but is usefully channelled into appropriate action.

Relevant in many ways:

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NLP vs Hypnosis

NLP vs Hypnosis | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

 “Isn’t NLP just hypnosis?”

If you’re an NLP Practitioner, you have probably received similar questions...


Supportive whilst on the subject:

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Differences between NLP's Classic Code and New Code by NLP co-founder Dr John Grinder


An interview with John Grinder October '08.


John discusses the difference between NLP's Classic Code, and New Code.



More on John Grinder:



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The Evolution of NLP ∞

The Evolution of NLP ∞ | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

In the beginning...

No movement in human thought or action really begins: we are all influenced by the thought and actions of the people who come before us. This is especially true of what would become known as NLP (even most practitioners find neurolinguistic programming a misnomer and a mouthful).

In one sense, NLP began when Richard Bandler asked John Grinder to help him model his successful practice of Gestalt therapy. In another, the roots of NLP can be traced back before these founding fathers to the work of three particularly independent thinkers.

When Richard Bandler met John Grinder...

It’s the early seventies (probably 1974). John Grinder has already moved from a military career (which may have included covert operations) through a doctorate in linguistics and has a contract appointment at the University of California Santa Cruz.

Richard Bandler has moved from mathematics to psychology; he has edited a book on the work of Fritz Perls and is already familiar with Virginia Satir. Bandler asks Grinder to observe him as he leads a group with the aim of identifying a model of his behaviour that can be used to teach others to get the results he is getting.

Grinder agrees, observes and is able to successfully replicate the behaviours. The set of practices and presuppositions that will become known as NLP is born...

An overview of classic code NLP

Classic code NLP taught people to focus on their ‘maps’ of experience - maps which could be their sensory representations of an experience (including the different characteristics associated with different senses in that experience or memory) or their verbal maps (which were presumed to filter experience through generalization, deletion or distortion so that it would fit into the limits of language).

Classic Code Practices:

 mapping states...✍ 

 non-verbal rapport... 

 VAK representation systems... 

 Eye patterns and other accessing cues...✍ 

 Modeling through observation...

the Meta Model of language patterns, including deletion, distortion & generalization... 

 the Milton Model of “artfully vague” language... 

 the Swish pattern Anchoring Collapsing “anchors”...✍ 



The Community Develops, then Divides...

Since the community dissolved, there has been no consensus about what NLP is or does or should do. Different practices have been developed, modified, or simply given new names and used by many different figures with varying interests and qualifications.

The practices of classic code NLP, based on the conscious manipulation of states in the self and in others, have most commonly been popularized and are frequently revisited in popular self-help books and motivational seminars and speeches.

The Development of New Code NLP

In fact, Grinder says that concern for ecology is specifically a reason for developing practices that ask the unconscious mind to run more complicated tests for the ecology of outcomes or change than the conscious mind will typically enact.

What is missing may be the ability to consciously test for the accuracy and intention of various interventions. There is an inherent paradox in creating an epistemology (a theory of knowing) that relies heavily on the creation of a “know nothing” state...

How does New Code work?

In brief, New Code includes a set of practices for setting congruent outcomes, a set of practices for personal change which are called personal edits, and a set of practices for accelerated learning.

Each of these relies heavily on the capability of a practitioner to speak directly to the unconscious mind of a client, and to accurately notice (calibrate) the physiological signals which the unconscious mind uses to communicate its responses.

Calibration and Perceptual Positions

In the NLP New Code model of learning, unconscious competence precedes conscious competence. This means that people can unconsciously replicate behaviours before they are consciously aware of what they are doing...

A naturally occurring example of this often happens on the dance floor...

Modeling, Learning & Influence

Modeling is the perception of how someone else does a behaviour, organizes information, or creates a particular state in him/herself or others.

The fastest way to acquire new behaviours is to locate someone capable of those behavious and model him/her as precisely as possible.

Influence involves the same process: calibration and multiple perceptual positions are used to create a model of the other person’s experience and that model allows one to create rapport (a sense of connection and relationship) and then shift elements of the model to effect change.

New Code Practices:

 calibration of states... 

 choice points... 

 the six step reframe... 

 personal edits...✍ 

 second and third position shifts...✍ 

 triple description...✍ 

 “stop the world” and other states of not knowing...✍ 

 use of metaphor to inspire or direct change... 

 may include Dilt’s “logical levels” (i.e. The Human Face of Change)... 

Answering the question: what does NLP teach?

NLP has been called an epistemology - a way of knowing what you know...

What is metaphor and how does it lead to effective change?

Integrated thinking is often metaphorical thinking. In its most basic form, metaphors use physical reality to describe abstract concepts. Metaphors turn thoughts into things that can be perceived through the senses and relate physical objects to emotions, reason, and imagination

All metaphor is integrated thinking, the ability to recognize the distinct contributions of mind and body and the way they work together in one individual.

Integrated thinking for effective language

Goals are often generated through unconscious process...

Language is more than this: it is also the tool by which people work together to create shared purpose and shared meaning. It is the medium through which the integration of many different minds occurs, and it gives a stable form to agreement and rapport...

Moving ahead through integrated thinking

Intention, imagination, sensory experience and language provide the necessary components for progress.

Alone, they provide alternatives to existence. When they are integrated into one stream of perception and action, they allow individuals to make changes in themselves and their circumstances.

Why is it worth learning and practicing?

One cannot avoid integrated thinking any more than one can avoid eating or sleeping or breathing.

Integrated thinking, including elements of NLP, New Code NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis, represents a way of thinking modeled on people who generate choices for themselves.

Training in integrated thinking allows individuals and teams to become aware of their strategies for success, to refine those strategies for greater effectiveness, and to apply them more often.

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Conflict Resolution

Watch this video to understand how the Conflict Resolution Model works.

Consider that conflict at all levels is the manifestation of poor leadership and by definition, Conflict Resolution is the leader's responsibility.

David Hain's curator insight, April 29, 2014 9:02 AM

You have to resolve conflict to get  the best out of people, where conflict is defined as difference of opinion.  Key skill!

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The 15 Biggest Body Language Blunders

The 15 Biggest Body Language Blunders | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Until we get to know someone, our brain relies on snap judgements to try to categorize the person, predict what they will do, and anticipate how we should react.

You may have heard that you only have a few seconds to make a first impression, but the truth is, your brain has made up its mind (so to speak) about a person within milliseconds of meeting them.

One way we can “hack” this split-second judgement is to be aware of our body language, especially in important situations.

Whether you’re applying for a job, asking for a raise, or meeting with a new client, tweaking or just being mindful of our body language can influence the other person’s perception of us and the outcome of the situation...

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Memes and "temes"

Memes and "temes" | The Ethos of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming |

Susan Blackmore studies memes: ideas that replicate themselves from brain to brain like a virus. She makes a bold new argument: Humanity has spawned a new kind of meme, the teme, which spreads itself via technology -- and invents ways to keep itself alive...

Bonus One

- Steve Paulson: So, everything in culture that we copy is a meme?

- Blackmore: Yes. Now, you may go, "Oh, well, that means everything!" But actually, not everything in your mind, not everything you do is mimetic. You have in your own mind lots of ideas that you make up yourself and are never copied, you didn't get them from anybody else, and they never get passed on...

Listen the to interview via


▶ Read it via

More on the Third Replicator ✍(◔◡◔):

Bonus Two

◕ ‿ ◕ The Meme Machine by Susan Blackmore  

❁ Synopsis >>

❁ Reviews/Summary:


What is 'memetics'? 

 Meme: an information pattern, held in an individual's memory, which is capable of being copied to another individual's memory. 

 Memetics: the theoretical and empirical science that studies the replication, spread and evolution of memes.

First coined by Richard Dawkins in The Selfish Gene, a meme is any idea, behavior, or skill that can be transferred from one person to another by imitation: stories, fashions, inventions, recipes, songs, ways of plowing a field or throwing a baseball or making a sculpture.

The meme is also one of the most important--and controversial--concepts to emerge since The Origin of the Species appeared nearly 150 years ago.

◣ In passing...

♠_♦ Gordon Bennett!  An eye for the tremes?! !o◡O!

But see:

More on Susan Blackmore:

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Mhd.Shadi Khudr's insight:

“If we take memetics seriously then the 'me' that could do the choosing is itself a memetic construct: a fluid and ever-changing group of memes installed in a complicated meme machine.”

― Susan J. Blackmore, The Meme Machine

Mhd.Shadi Khudr's comment, March 21, 2015 2:55 PM
Estelblau Estelblau Estelblau :)
Estelblau's comment, March 22, 2015 7:30 AM
Big fat hug :-p Mhd. Shadi! And haaapy weekend ;)
Mhd.Shadi Khudr's comment, April 2, 2015 11:04 AM
All the very best to you