Sex Work
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Sex Work
About sex work and help for sex workers, which includes escorts, professional service providers, erotica authors, phone sex operators, adult bloggers, etc. http://www.sex-kitten.net/blog/
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An Interview With Alexandra Rayne About Sex Work

An Interview With Alexandra Rayne About Sex Work | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Alexandra Rayne is a working in the sex industry and is london based. We took some time to discuss sex work, politics and BDSM.

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What I Really Do: The Entrepreneurial Spirit of Sex Workers

What I Really Do: The Entrepreneurial Spirit of Sex Workers | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I am a porn performer, professional escort and Dominatrix, and I have found that most of the world has absolutely no idea what my job is actually like. While my career is inherently rooted in entertainment and fantasy, I am also running three small businesses, facilitating educational workshops and fighting for sex workers rights. For me, my job has a certain sense of normalcy that just happens to be surrounded by high heels, vintage vibrators and lots of glitter. My own perception of my work often fluctuates between: ‘Imma sexual-ninja-genius!’ to ‘This is mega complicated’. Someone did actually create a “What I Really Do” Sex Worker meme. It is pretty amusing, but it really only begins to describe the complicated social perceptions of the world’s oldest profession.

People enter sex work for different reasons and for various amounts of time, and have very individual experiences within the industry. Regardless of varying experiences, society often attaches stigma and shame to our identities. This can be incredibly de-humanizing, which is part of the reason sex workers have historically been the targets of discrimination and violence. Sex work itself is not inherently dangerous – unlike being a deep-sea fisherman, a firefighter or serving in the Marines – the threat only lies in social norms and laws that prevent workers from doing our jobs legally and safely. This has negative ramifications on our health, safety and professional lives. Not being able to account for skills gained as a sex worker can result in undesirable gaps on a resume, prohibit transitions into other career paths and create fear of being outed or fired from vanilla jobs. This is a total shame because sex workers are some of the smartest cats that I know. Most of my colleagues possess an arsenal of branding, marketing and PR, education, website management and creative technical skills that make them highly successful in their chosen field, skills that would easily translate into an array of professional settings. Yet the stigma surrounding “What People Think I Do” constantly affects our ability to be successful and employable.
Gracie Passette's insight:

A must read.

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BDSM Writers Con August 21 - 24, 2014

BDSM Writers Con August 21 - 24, 2014 | Sex Work | Scoop.it

BDSM Writers Con is for EVERYONE interested in writing about or exploring the world of Dominance and submission.

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Spain's first bondage hotel tied up by red tape

Spain's first bondage hotel tied up by red tape | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Plans to open Spain’s first bondage hotel – inspired by the book Fifty Shades of Grey – have been delayed following objections from locals
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I Before E, Except After BDSM: Lifestyle BDSM Vs Professional Domination

I Before E, Except After BDSM: Lifestyle BDSM Vs Professional Domination | Sex Work | Scoop.it

This is especially true when it comes to relationships ~ including those of professional variety, i.e. those involving the paid services of sex workers. After all, other than the golden rules of respect and consent, there are not as many hard and fast “rules” or “facts” when it comes to the ins and outs of human interaction as there are to the more physical ins and outs of screwing. With relationships, it’s even more like “I before E, except after C”. …And with D/s, it can get even weirder. (That’s a play on the spelling rule, not a judgement!) Be that as it may, I’ll try to clarify some of the rules of BDSM engagements based on the articles I recently discovered.

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Writing Bondage Fiction

Writing Bondage Fiction | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Bondage fiction is a lot like heavy metal...the lyrics don't really matter as long as the sound is right. Lots of poseurs try to fake their way through the motions, but true believers can always suss the real deal after the first three notes. Cool costumes help, but aren't always essential. And girls can play lead, too.

In other words, it's a genre, and hallowed be its tenets, customs, mores and conventions.

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What Sex Workers Deal With

What Sex Workers Deal With | Sex Work | Scoop.it
shit-collarme-says:
“ Actually, have this dude’s whole profile as a warning.

Heey it’s that one guy. I never actually read his profile, but it’s not surprising.
Protip: If you hover over the...
Gracie Passette's insight:

Just a little slice of daily online life for sex workers.

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Bondassage

Bondassage | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Ever wondered what it might be like to surrender and explore your sensual desires? Are you ready to discover a world of blissful intensity and intimacy? Bondassage combines innovative massage techniques with, rhythmic body percussion, slow luxurious flogging, and a delicious menu of skilled sensation play.


Bondassage takes the receiver on a journey of sensation surprises. With Bondassage you may have a receiver who is a seasoned traveler in the bdsm realm but wants something different, or they are brand new and want to be introduced gently to percussion play, anal exploration, and bondage. Either way, you can create the Bondassage session that best suits them. You will have all the tools and ideas to take those you touch toward their known (and sometimes unknown) desires in an environment that is kind, safe, and full of surprises.


Elysium is also a journey of sensation, but based in relaxation. A gentle, supremely slow passage to the edge and back ~ over and over and over. It is a blend of light Swedish effleurage strokes, soft sensual music, and conscious touch with the intent to relax and simultaneously engage your partner’s nerve endings and pleasure response.

Gracie Passette's insight:

Based on the book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1937965198/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1937965198&linkCode=as2&tag=sexkitten-20


Training also available.

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In defence of paying for a dominatrix

In defence of paying for a dominatrix | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Margaret Corvid: Sex is a basic human need, and kink my speciality. For it to be my job is not miserable, but necessary, joyous and beautiful
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Another Phone Sex FemDom on the "What It Is That I Do" Meme

Another Phone Sex FemDom on the "What It Is That I Do" Meme | Sex Work | Scoop.it
dammitpunk:
“ Because I think there are some common misconceptions about what I do, I thought i’d do my part to explain.
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Dominatrix: What It Is That I Do

Dominatrix: What It Is That I Do | Sex Work | Scoop.it
loriadorable:
“ Since it’s easy to criticize, but it’s hard to do, I did a do. Here is the do on What It Is That I Do. YMMV, of course.
(I obviously saved #5 on my desktop, so if you have any need for...
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theMistressWeb - Professional Mistress Listings | By Phone, Web & Mobile APPS

theMistressWeb - Professional Mistress Listings | By Phone, Web & Mobile APPS | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The only Mistress web portal you will ever need to use! It’s all in one place! Why would you want to go anywhere else?!
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My name is Bond: Life of a BDSM practitioner

My name is Bond: Life of a BDSM practitioner | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Christian Grey doesn't live in E L James' head. We spend an evening with a banker and BDSM practitioner In a bout of desperation last year, Martin Jones began applying to classified ads that sought...
Gracie Passette's insight:

Rarely do you find stories of men who both pay for BDSM services as well as get paid for it; rarer still, clients who refer to Myers-Briggs.

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Contemporary Courtesan Kitty Stryker on being a feminist, dominatrix and professional sex worker

Contemporary Courtesan Kitty Stryker on being a feminist, dominatrix and professional sex worker | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The Californian dominatrix reveals more about her fascinating (and very kinky) career...
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Risky business

Risky business | Sex Work | Scoop.it

So many of the dangers of sex work come from the laws and stigma surrounding it. Sex workers do not deserve violence or rape; these are not inherent dangers of the job. They’re things that happen because society chooses to demonize sex workers, to erase our value.

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Why do some men need a dominatrix?

Why do some men need a dominatrix? | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Fmr. dominatrix: 'My clients would pay me to enact role play scenes that they spent a lot of time fantasizing about'

 

Melissa Febos became a dominatrix at age 21 and worked in what she calls an upscale New York dungeon for four years.

She is the author of "Whip Smart," which chronicles her years as domineering mistress. She explained to HLN’s Dr. Drew what guys wanted from her.

“My clients would pay me to enact role play scenes that they spent a lot of time fantasizing about,” she said. “Most of these scenes involved me playing sort of an iconic female role -- either mommy, babysitter, cheerleader or the essential sort of dominatrix character with the thigh-high boots and the corset. But there was no sex and no nudity. It was really sort of a private acting job.”

She added, “Most [of my clients] were upper-middle class New York city residents -- a lot of stock brokers, probably because it is an expensive hobby to have, but they really sort of ran the whole spectrum. There were professors and doctors and police officers and just about everybody you can think of.”


Via PunterPress
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Gracie Passette's comment, June 8, 2013 1:32 AM
I guess neither of the hosts have heard of the new studies about BDSM
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Putting a much-needed smile into S&M

Putting a much-needed smile into S&M | Sex Work | Scoop.it

IT IS a first, as I have not before been taught the finer points of dominatrix phone sex. My teacher is sassy Jassy Mackenzie, whose book, Folly, is selling up a storm.

 

We are sitting in the sunny garden of a coffee shop with little children whooping around us and Mackenzie, who has the perfect voice — clear, sharp, dictatorial — is trying to convince me I’d be perfect for the job.

 

"You revolting little worm, get down on your knees, lick my shoes and then clean the house, it’s filthy." She’s describing a typical dominatrix chat. She has had male callers vacuuming their homes at 3am in response to her commands.

 

"You have to humiliate them, shout at them, and slap your hands together to count down the blows. It’s easy because it is they who have made the call, wanting to submit."

 

The male callers tend to be bosses who crave a balance in life, she says, and submitting helps them to attain that. It is fascinating that a man with workplace authority wants to be dominated to such a degree — "They have to have the power in order to give it away," she says.

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The Thrilling, Messy Lives of New York's Freelance Dominatrices

The Thrilling, Messy Lives of New York's Freelance Dominatrices | Sex Work | Scoop.it
'None of my clients know who I am completely. There's always an air of fantasy and mystery.'
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10 Tips For The Aspiring Feminist Dominatrix

10 Tips For The Aspiring Feminist Dominatrix | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Sticking it to the man –- sometimes quite literally -- for hundreds of dollars per hour must sound like a dream come true to feminists struggling to make it through the Great Recession. Unfortunately, being a dominatrix is not all kicking ass and smashing the patriarchy.

 

...If working at a Portlandia-esque feminist bookstore isn’t in the cards, here’s the short list of things to consider before you dive headlong into a new career as a feminist dominatrix

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Dominatrix Photography - Fetishes, Sexual Affairs & Sadomasochism | Aperture | Reserve Channel

Actor Eddie Steeples interviews distinguished photographer, Marla Rutherford, about the niche dominatrix photography scene. Rutherford explains her devotion ...

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More men seek 'domination' in Ireland

More men seek 'domination' in Ireland | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Asked about the market for BDSM in the Irish sex industry now, she said: "I have a feeling it has taken a bigger hit in one sense than the sex industry, as a 'bit of auld kink' was a luxury that well-heeled people and couples took on board with the Louboutins and a second high-performance car. That dropped off drastically in recession, but in another sense, the drive to submit can be almost irresistible. And people cannot function without release at some point."

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Big Susie's brings fight for sex workers' rights to Hamilton

Big Susie's brings fight for sex workers' rights to Hamilton | Sex Work | Scoop.it

At the moment, the group's main goals, is to lobby against laws and social misconceptions that, it says, discriminate against sex workers. These factors, Scream notes, are among the greatest threats to their wellbeing.

“There isn't a minimum labour standard like there is with other jobs. Many other jobs have health and safety risks involved as well, but because sex work is criminalized we don't have access to danger pay, sick leave or workers' compensation.”

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Review: Don we now our Gay Apparel, by Shaun Cole

Review: Don we now our Gay Apparel, by Shaun Cole | Sex Work | Scoop.it

If there’s a predominant theme in Cole’s book on the history of gay fashion in the twentieth century, it’s that gay fashion is always imperfectly mimetic, a tangled mix of “passing, minstrelization and capitulation”, to quote sociologist Martin P. Levine (pg. 3)

 

Even before the trial of Oscar Wilde, there was the trial and acquittal of Ernest Boulton (aka “Fanny”) and Frederick Payne (aka “Stella”) in 1871, two homosexual men who were also crossdressers and sex workers (Pg. 15-16). Ever since, those three categories have been conflated in the public mind (sometimes with justification). Gay men have overlapped with and been in fashion dialectic with other marginal groups (sex workers, soldiers, sailors, aristocrats, police, punks, bikers, artists, etc) for a variety of reasons: camouflage, recognition both covert and overt, political statements, defensive intimidation, generational differentiation, heightening male beauty, conspicuous consumption, personal fetishes or parody.


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Questions, Questions, Questions

Questions, Questions, Questions | Sex Work | Scoop.it

A site with a lot of curated photos. But, Gracie, they are all women in the submissive role. Why (of the women into BDSM) are most womenn filling the submissive role versus the dominant role? (I don't actually like to call it a role, but there is a lack of words). 

 

In the case of sex workers is there more demand for women as Dom or sub? Do women sex workers prefer to be Dom or sub? For what reasons?

 

PS- Dear Gentle Reader, Gracie is my long time friend. Dear Gracie, this is a serious question (or flock of them).

Gracie Passette's insight:

Laura submitted this link ~ along with all the questions.

 

They are interesting questions... But complicated ones! I may expand on this at my websites in the future. :)

 

The short answers are:

 

1) This Tumblr is likely focused on what turns the poser on.

 

2) There is no real data on sex work, so I can't give you any numbers on the issue of demand for female sex workers in BDSM or how it may be broken down in terms of female submissives vs. femdoms.

 

3) As for what female sex workers prefer, the short, general, answer is "to make money safely".

 

I really will try to address these more in depth later on.

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Maggie Nash: Why do I love BDSM romance?

Maggie Nash: Why do I love BDSM romance? | Sex Work | Scoop.it

You know 10 years ago I would never ever have dreamed of writing about BDSM, let alone writing BDSM stories. Not knowing anything about it other than what I'd heard in whispers over the years, I thought (and I'm sure a lot of people still do) that it was all about being beaten up and tortured. I couldn't even imagine a time when a person would want to be put through what I saw as an unnecessary and painful ordeal. I thought these people must have some type of psychiatric disorder and they desperately needed help.

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bdsmkinkytoys's comment, July 22, 2013 9:03 PM
Wonderful and exciting lifestyle isn't it! ... smilies
Kristof Side's curator insight, February 29, 4:47 PM

To let people know that BDSM isn't just about pain

Curated by Gracie Passette
The Valiant Gnostic Of Sexuality

http://www.gracie-passette-productions.com/graciebio.html