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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


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29th Annual Milwaukee LGBT Film & Video Festival Announced

29th Annual Milwaukee LGBT Film & Video Festival Announced | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The Milwaukee LGBT Film/Video Festival - one of the region's longest-running film events and a cornerstone gathering for the LGBT + communities - returns this October 16-26.
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Whose RedBook? Why Everyone Should be Concerned By the Seizure of MyRedBook.Com

Whose RedBook? Why Everyone Should be Concerned By the Seizure of MyRedBook.Com | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Last week, an online community for sex workers disappeared from the Internet. Visit SFRedbook.com, MyPinkBook.com, or MyRedBook.com right now, and you’ll only find the seals of the law enforcement agencies—the FBI, the DOJ, and the IRS—that seized the sites as part of a prostitution and money laundering investigation.
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Will johns become the new “fags”?

Will johns become the new “fags”? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
While Toronto celebrates Pride beauty, the feds get busy unleashing a new moral panic
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Myths about the Phone Sex Industry

Myths about the Phone Sex Industry | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Phone sex has such a stigma attached to it that it has created its own mythology. The media has never truly given a revealing look into the phone sex
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What (Many) Sex Workers Don't Want To Talk About

What (Many) Sex Workers Don't Want To Talk About | Sex Work | Scoop.it

There are things, personal things, many sex workers don’t want to talk about; including me. And that’s a pity. Because it holds the sex worker movement back.


Most cultural shifts regarding unequal persons, such as the civil rights movement and the current positive momentum changing attitudes regarding LGBTQ issues, are arrived by showing the oppressed for what they are: human beings. The sex worker movement has been trying to make a push sex worker rights in terms of human rights and labor rights, by showing the personal plights of sex workers as it pertains to the criminal status of sex work, i.e. the legal system. But there are other issues. Issues which prove the humanity of sex workers by aligning them with “regular folk”, especially women.


Fundamentally, there are two primary reasons why sex workers cannot expose the other human indignities of the people involved: One, sex workers are primarily women and women are not yet equal (which also impacts why sexual commerce is the domain of men); two, sex work involves sex, something our culture is really screwed up about. When you combine them, you get one thing that’s definitely not allowed: the sexual autonomy of women.

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Myredbook.com seized by feds

Myredbook.com seized by feds | Sex Work | Scoop.it
It finally happened, Redbook (as it was known) was seized by the feds and shit down. Redbook was a local the the bay area escort ad mall and review site, though it did have some places to place ads...

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Feminism, Sexuality & Porn: Exclusive Interview With Erika Lust Of Lust Cinema

Feminism, Sexuality & Porn: Exclusive Interview With Erika Lust Of Lust Cinema | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Yes, Erika Lust has won awards for her erotic films; but perhaps it's more important that she makes films that you want to watch. And now, she employs the same eye she uses behind the camera to fin...


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Dangerous New Trafficking Bill Introduced in the U.S. | Global Network of Sex Work Projects

Dangerous New Trafficking Bill Introduced in the U.S. | Global Network of Sex Work Projects | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Dangerous new legislation that conflates trafficking with sex work, and has the potential to impact diplomatic relations, has been introduced in the United States Congress.


Rep. Randy Hultgren, an Illinois Republican in his first term, has introduced legislation that would amend the Trafficking in Victims Protection Act of 2000 to restrict foreign aid going to countries where prostitution is legal. Hultgren believes that legal prostitution leads to human trafficking.

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"My Wife Doesn't Understand Me" & The Other Little White Lies Of Phone Sex

"My Wife Doesn't Understand Me" & The Other Little White Lies Of Phone Sex | Sex Work | Scoop.it

His wife isn’t necessarily a bitch. Or ill. Or dead. Or whatever he says. Hell, he may not ever have been married. Maybe it’s just easier for him to play the role of a married man on the phone. Maybe he feels it further masks his identity. Maybe his fantasy taboo is enhanced by the naughty idea of cheating or being caught. Maybe he thinks you’ll be less judgmental of a man who “can’t get it that way at home” than you would be of a man who’s too uncomfortable to tell his lover what gets him off. Maybe he pretends to be married simply because he feels that would make him more sympathetic. Who knows? He says he’s married; he’s married. Just work with it.

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I Before E, Except After BDSM: Lifestyle BDSM Vs Professional Domination

I Before E, Except After BDSM: Lifestyle BDSM Vs Professional Domination | Sex Work | Scoop.it

This is especially true when it comes to relationships ~ including those of professional variety, i.e. those involving the paid services of sex workers. After all, other than the golden rules of respect and consent, there are not as many hard and fast “rules” or “facts” when it comes to the ins and outs of human interaction as there are to the more physical ins and outs of screwing. With relationships, it’s even more like “I before E, except after C”. …And with D/s, it can get even weirder. (That’s a play on the spelling rule, not a judgement!) Be that as it may, I’ll try to clarify some of the rules of BDSM engagements based on the articles I recently discovered.

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Sex (Work) In the Classroom: How Academia Can Support the Sex Worker Rights Movement

Sex (Work) In the Classroom: How Academia Can Support the Sex Worker Rights Movement | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Over the last several years, the world’s oldest profession has become academia’s latest hot topic. As events, books and other media continue to increase the visibility of the sex trade, class time, and sometimes entire curricula, have sprung up to address its various (and varied) topics. Higher education and those who work within it play a number of different roles, impacting the lives of those in the sex trade both directly and indirectly.

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Tips for academics ~ and others, really.

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For $350, Tata Will Slap You Until You're Sexy

For $350, Tata Will Slap You Until You're Sexy | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Tata told me to relax my jaw and close my eyes. She examined my face, found the spot she was looking for, and began smacking my left cheek with the back of her hand.
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Why the 'End Demand' Approach to Sex Work Doesn't Work

Why the 'End Demand' Approach to Sex Work Doesn't Work | Sex Work | Scoop.it
"End demand" campaigns, like the one suggested in a recent RH Reality Check commentary, are based on the false characterization of clients of sex workers as rapists, and perpetuated by the prostitution-as-violence camp. This is nothing but misogyny, pure and simple.
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Sex work is work: exploding the “sex trafficking” myth

Sex work is work: exploding the “sex trafficking” myth | Sex Work | Scoop.it
With the freedom to work, organise and fight, sex workers will end coercion in the trade.
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Dr. Kennedy Summers!

Dr. Kennedy Summers! | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Kennedy Summers is just doing adult photos to pay her way to college...well, more than that: she's on her way to being a Doctor, and being Playmate of the Year 2014 might pay for a book or two. The link I put below is two non-porn-stars commenting on what they think about an adult model being a doctor and whether people will take her seriously. First: this isn't like becoming a Fox News commentator; becoming a doctor requires a fuckton of studying and passing tests...

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New director for PEERS, support group for sex workers

New director for PEERS, support group for sex workers | Sex Work | Scoop.it
After a rough financial year, the PEERS resource society for local sex workers has reopened its Esquimalt drop-in centre five days a week and welcomed a new executive director. “A lot of familiar. . .
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The 10 Industries With The Most Depressed Workers

The 10 Industries With The Most Depressed Workers | Sex Work | Scoop.it
About 10% of American adults are depressed, but that varies quite a lot from job to job.
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This isn't including sex work (unless it's covered under "personal services"), but I thought it should be considered in light of all the comments about sex workers who would like to change careers etc.

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#YesAllWomen, Except #Sex Workers? - Is #feminism excluding sex workers?

#YesAllWomen, Except #Sex Workers? - Is #feminism excluding sex workers? | Sex Work | Scoop.it

#YesAllWomen, Except #Sex Workers - Is #feminism excluding sex workers?


Via bobbygw
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Support Hos: Game of Thrones

Support Hos: Game of Thrones | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Game of Thrones, HBO’s biggest show, is bringing the fantasy genre to the masses in a major way. Featuring a sprawling cast and storyline that’s been pared down from George R.R. Martin’s series A Song of Ice and Fire, it’s full of fantastic performances, high production values, international sets and scenery, and some of the most exciting and tense moments on television.


It is also filled with violence against women, particularly, the sex workers who inhabit the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.


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Vloasis's curator insight, June 27, 12:26 PM

A thoughtfully-written article coming from an angle you may not have considered: that of a sex worker. The struggle to be safe in that industry (if such a thing is ever possible) is something that Game of Thrones tends to sidestep by largely focusing on male-centric points of view.

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Support For Jill Brenneman

Support For Jill Brenneman | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Help raise money to support sex worker rights activist Jill Brenneman who is currently battling a catastrophic illness.
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Why I accidentally became a porn star

Why I accidentally became a porn star | Sex Work | Scoop.it

I became a professional naked person because it was the safest way for me to live out my fantasies, to live them out in such a way that I never would of gotten to do if I had remained a civilian, no matter how kinky and perverse and hedonistic that civilian might be.

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Sex Tips From Feminist Porn Stars Will Change the Way You Think About Intimacy

Sex Tips From Feminist Porn Stars Will Change the Way You Think About Intimacy | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Because feminism and sex are not mutually exclusive.
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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, June 19, 11:16 AM

I like this article... a lot. Food for thought!

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Paying For It: Is PayPal Hurting Sex Workers?

Paying For It: Is PayPal Hurting Sex Workers? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
What do you do when your brand is adult-based and all your best connections, writing and media appearances relate not to SEO, but SEX?...
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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, June 19, 11:13 AM

This is one of the many reasons PayPal Sucks!!!

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[Entire Paper] MALE CLIENTS OF #SEXWORKERS: A CRIMINOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE #SexWork

[Entire Paper] MALE CLIENTS OF #SEXWORKERS: A CRIMINOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE #SexWork | Sex Work | Scoop.it

In an article entitled “Peter MacKay promises new prostitution bill before summer,” Justice Minister Peter MacKay is quoted as saying, “We know there is tremendous violence and vulnerability associated with prostitution. Prostitutes are predominantly victims” (Crawford, 2014, para. 2). Following this quote there is no citation to substantiate MacKay’s claim that the majority of prostitutes are victims or that prostitution is inherently violent.

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Erotica: The Little Sister Who Suffers In The Shadows

Erotica: The Little Sister Who Suffers In The Shadows | Sex Work | Scoop.it

While there has been much talk about what erotica is, I think there's more to the story, such as what do we do with erotica? (Not that way, as in the treatment of erotica.)


The general book industry shuns erotica

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Written in 2005, but, sadly, still applies and is even worse/

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