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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


Via PunterPress
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About sex work and help for sex workers, which includes escorts, professional service providers, erotica authors, phone sex operators, adult bloggers, etc. http://www.sex-kitten.net/blog/
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Sex Workers WANT to Stop Trafficking - YouTube

Sex workers and advocates for sex workers say why it's important to include them, and their clients, in the fight against sex trafficking. They ARE part of t...
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Porn, Privacy & Face Recognition Technologies ... The Coming Storm (with image) · ACES

New Facial Recognition Programs scan a person's face and fetches all images of that person that are (or have been) published online within seconds and with incredible accuracy.

Via Christian Berns, Prime Companions
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Christian Berns's curator insight, December 16, 2013 10:21 AM

What are the implications of emerging technologies like face recognition and biometrics on adult industry performers?

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Sex workers fight back: ‘It’s my choice to be here’

Sex workers fight back: ‘It’s my choice to be here’ | Sex Work | Scoop.it
THE AUSTRALIAN sex work industry has fought back against claims that most sex workers are abused and forced to enter the industry against their own will.
Gracie Passette's insight:

About #FacesOfProstitution

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My life as a call-girl: Mum-of-one tells how she was inspired by movie to give up law degree and become a hooker

My life as a call-girl: Mum-of-one tells how she was inspired by movie to give up law degree and become a hooker | Sex Work | Scoop.it

A SATURDAY job in massage parlour led to work as call girl and a champion of sex workers' rights.


GROWING up in a strict Irish Catholic family, Laura Lee was lined up for a respectable career as a lawyer.

 

But after watching a film about a hooker, Laura astonishingly decided she wanted to become a call girl.

 



Via PunterPress, Prime Companions
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Las Vegas is 'sugar daddy' central, website claims

Las Vegas is 'sugar daddy' central, website claims | Sex Work | Scoop.it
If you're a lady looking to be taken care of then you're living in the right spot, at least according to a Las Vegas-based website.

Via Royce Kennedy
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Just Sign on The Dotted Line- The Anti-Prostitution Loyalty Oath

"Just Sign on The Dotted Line: The Anti Prostitution Loyalty Oath" narrated by Cosi Fabian, presents a history of a policy regulating provision of foreign aid. The policy requires that recipients of USAID funds sign an oath that they will not support sex workers' rights. This policy is a telling example of how the U.S. exports repressive ideologies through conditions set for foreign aid recipients.


Compiled for all those interested in sex workers issues and human rights, this video timeline and accompanying resources provide a comprehensive course in the history of, and resistance to "The Pledge."

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Dan Savage: How does Dan feel about the rights of sex workers? - YouTube

"How does Dan feel about the rights of sex workers?" Follow Dan Savage on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DanSavage Follow Dan Savage on Twitter: https://...
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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, April 16, 3:13 PM

I don't know who Dan Savage is but he make some good points about the issue of legalizing prostitution...

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How To Be an Ex-Porn Star: 10 Tips on Taking a Break from APAC VP Conner Habib

How To Be an Ex-Porn Star: 10 Tips on Taking a Break from APAC VP Conner Habib | Sex Work | Scoop.it
One of the most common – and offensive – questions that porn performers get from viewers is, “what are you going to do after this?” It’s as if porn star can’t exist, be looked at and wished upon, without viewers imagining that same star collapsing. Or perhaps better said, some fans have trouble meeting porn stars without expressing their anxieties of having watched. Another way of saying, “What will you do after this” is “I’ll stop watching you some day!” or “One day you won’t be desirable anymore!”

It’s just rude for fans to ask that question. But it is important for performers to be able to have an answer. Maybe not a complete one, but some gesture toward an answer somewhere.
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About Those Cheap Callers & Clients...

About Those Cheap Callers & Clients... | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Aside from the services of a sex worker truly being a luxury purchase, it’s important for callers to realize that sex workers are like other service providers (like doctors, accountants, construction contractors, marketing consultants, etc.), and so they can’t ask for discounts. As services are
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Canada’s new prostitution law explained with LEGO bricks - YouTube

John and Sally get busted for prostitution by a police officer who tries to explain the new law.
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If you are an adult model who has thought about a members site...

If you are an adult model who has thought about a members site... | Sex Work | Scoop.it
If you are an adult model who has thought about running a members site, but haven’t done so because it would be too expensive, time consuming or difficult to set up on your own, I suggest using...
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Graphic Depictions, Scene 02

Graphic Depictions, Scene 02 | Sex Work | Scoop.it
That’s one of the things I find most appealing about directing: if I only achieve 80 or 97% of what I’m after I can look over my own choices and figure out how to get the remaining percentage next time. When the end result is close to total success, I can feel satisfied about having picked the right people to help me achieve it.

But back to the video in question…

The audience is an immediate audience within Graphic Depictions, but also a stand-in for the actual audience: the largely anonymous internet. In the same way performing in a stage production leaves me blind to all but the vaguest facial features of the front row, a performer whose work is distributed on video has little concrete idea of who their audience is.
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Amsterdam sex workers protest window closures in Red Light District

Amsterdam sex workers protest window closures in Red Light District | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Prostitutes and supporters told Amsterdam mayor Eberhard van der Laan that window closures are depriving them of safe workplaces
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Tips For PSOs & Cam Girls Getting Started

Tips For PSOs & Cam Girls Getting Started | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Anonymous said: pso question! how did you navigate thru your first call ever? ive been trying but it's difficult when you don't know what you're good at. do you just try different topics until you...
Gracie Passette's insight:

Applies to many forms of sex work.

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The Review: American Courtesans (2013)

The Review:  American Courtesans (2013) | Sex Work | Scoop.it

AMERICAN COURTESANS is a documentary collecting interviews with a number of women who work or have worked in the sex trade industry, where they discuss their lives and careers from their childhoods to their current lives as escorts, producers, and activists.  I felt it was a great film, and it did a good job of showing the true face of the industry, good and bad.


The main interviewer is Kristen DiAngelo, who is also interviewed by one of the stars, sharing her own story while supporting others as they tell theirs.  I think this works well because it is honest about the context of the film maker, saying openly that this is her story, just like the other stories, take it as it is.


In the film, the stories of the women are sorted by stages rather than chronologically: childhoods compared, initiations into the industry compared, and so on.  While the ages of the courtesans means the stories happened at different times, the technique works to show how similar and yet different each one is.  Some had abusive parents, others had supportive parents; some had truly horrific introductions to the industry, some had positive experiences.  By the end you see how different they were, as well as how similar the challenges they faced have been.

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Short Video Interview with Porn Star Dean Van Damme

This British performer is also a tattooed model and producer/camera man of his own adult films. Big and sweet! He stars in Power Pussy and A Talk Too Dirty.
Gracie Passette's insight:

More photos of him ~ including video from Power Pussy ~ here.

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Debunking 6 Myths about People in the Sex Industry

Debunking 6 Myths about People in the Sex Industry | Sex Work | Scoop.it
With inaccurate media representations and the cultural stigma, there are a lot of misconceptions about people in the sex industry. We too often fail to see the complexity and diversity in who is engaged in commercial sex, why they’re doing it, and the degree of consent and coercion involved. These
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PiggyBankGirls - Erotic Crowdfunding

PiggyBankGirls - Erotic Crowdfunding | Sex Work | Scoop.it
What is PiggyBankGirls all about? The idea came from talking to girls that are either in the erotic business or just the typical girl next door. Girls told  @PiggyBankGirls
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I Was A Streetwalker For A Night

I Was A Streetwalker For A Night | Sex Work | Scoop.it

I became a prostitute for a night. Not a high-class escort (the logistics seemed too daunting for an amateur like me) just a regular hooker out on the street. That would be simple enough, right?  All I had to do was go downtown where the real working girls congregated, all dolled up and dressed in my very sluttiest outfit.


I had no clue what to expect exactly, but that’s what made it all so exciting. Curiosity, as Victor Hugo famously opined, is a woman’s most powerful instinct. I was plenty apprehensive. But that, too, simply added to the excitement, the adrenaline rush. Maybe a tingle of sexual excitement as well?

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A&E Completely Misunderstands the Reality of Sex Workers

A&E Completely Misunderstands the Reality of Sex Workers | Sex Work | Scoop.it
8 Minutes turns a financial choice into a moral reckoning.
Gracie Passette's insight:

As you'd expect, there's lots of heated discussion.

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Masturbation & Relationship Facts

Masturbation & Relationship Facts | Sex Work | Scoop.it
As a former escort, I can’t help but feel that beneath all this concern about “virtual sex being cheating” lies a fear and loathing of sex workers.
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Sink hole mystery: Tunnel to a 19th century brothel causes traffic chaos in city centre - Herald.ie

Sink hole mystery: Tunnel to a 19th century brothel causes traffic chaos in city centre - Herald.ie | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Dublin's Dame Street was brought to a halt on Tuesday when a two-foot section of the road collapsed.

A six-feet-deep hole appeared at the George's Street junction, around 100 metres from the Olympia Theatre, and was cordoned off from traffic and pedestrians by council workers.

Last night, historian Gerry Cooley told the Herald that an old cellar discovered in the hole could be part of a "long-rumoured tunnel" used by 19th century politicians to go to brothels.

"The King of England closed down the House of Commons and House of Lords in Ireland during the time when politicians were spending too much time in the brothels," Mr Cooley said.
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Taylor Swift buys porn site domains

Taylor Swift buys porn site domains | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Taylor Swift is the proud owner of many enviable items:

Gorgeous kitties, legs that go on forever, seven Grammy’s and err, two porn site domains. The pop goddess has reportedly purchased the rights to two rather questionable websites, TaylorSwift.porn and TaylorSwift.adult so that no one else out there can make money off her name, or porn.


Via Deanna Dahlsad
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Deanna Dahlsad's curator insight, March 28, 12:41 AM

It's exactly what I would do.

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Open Idaho Brothels…In 1989?

Open Idaho Brothels…In 1989? | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Open Idaho Brothels...In 1989?: Openly-run brothels? In Idaho? In 1989? It turns out local tradition is a powerful force. Here’s part of an article from the Idaho Statesman in 1989: Wallace defends prostitution: “A mining town needs brothels"

Gracie Passette's insight:

...And then what happened? *sigh*

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The Valiant Gnostic Of Sexuality

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