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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


Via PunterPress
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Suppressed again? Feminism in London conference excludes sex workers from panel on sex work

Suppressed again? Feminism in London conference excludes sex workers from panel on sex work | Sex Work | Scoop.it

A guest post from SWOU (Sex Worker Open University) about the failure of the upcoming 'Feminism in London' conference to include any sex workers on its sex work panel.

Upcoming autumn event Feminism in London is planning to hold a panel discussion about sex work -- without having any current sex workers on the panel. Ironically, this sex worker-free sex work panel was originally called "Suppressed Voices"..


Gracie Passette's insight:

Maybe it's not censorship; but it sure ain't discussion or problem solving now is it.

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6 marketing tips for escorts

6 marketing tips for escorts | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Marketing yourself as an escort is essential. You have to know marketing basics in any business,  especially in the down economy. Knowing your market is important, knowing where you fit into it is ...
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TRICKS OF THE TRADE: Porn’s ‘Best Practices’ for Content Trades and Shares

TRICKS OF THE TRADE: Porn’s ‘Best Practices’ for Content Trades and Shares | Sex Work | Scoop.it

These days, porn performers don’t have to depend solely on being booked with established companies. As the effects of Measure B and online piracy impede major studio productions, some industry trends see performers subsidizing their careers with cam shows, custom videos, Clips4Sale studios, and launching their own member sites. Equipment and web technology is becoming increasingly accessible. Performers of any notoriety can grab a camera and do it themselves. You scratch my back; I’ll scratch yours.


Looking to learn from my embarrassing mistakes and gain ‘best-practice’ knowledge for the next time, I did what I should have done years ago: I decided to ask around.

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Why a Bollywood actress doing sex work is none of our business

Why a Bollywood actress doing sex work is none of our business | Sex Work | Scoop.it

There is something unethical and pornographic about the way the media announced the arrest of a young National-Award-winning actress for prostitution this week. The media was mean-spirited when it divulged racy details about the way the West Zone police (presumably from Mumbai as the 23-year-old actress lives in the city, according to sketchy media reports) along with Hyderabad police, swooped into a Banjara Hills hotel to arrest the actress and her "pimp" after setting up a decoy client.

The media didn’t care to conceal the name of the actress and but lasciviously disclosed every possible detail about her. This despite the fact that the law clearly says that the practice of selling one’s own sexual service is permissible, that sexual activity in exchange for a fee, between two consenting adults and in private is not a crime.

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A Look At The Male Sex Worker Throughout History

A Look At The Male Sex Worker Throughout History | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A compelling new book this week that examines the practice of sex work by men from both a modern day and a historical perspective hit the shelves.

Male Sex Work And Society is a collection of essays and studies that examines the role of male sex w...
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Book available at Amazon.

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Ottawa must view sex work through a bigger lens

Ottawa must view sex work through a bigger lens | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A law based on a questionable response to power imbalances between men and women risks harming groups that aren’t its target
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Skanky Panties & The Business of Faux Fish Juices

Skanky Panties & The Business of Faux Fish Juices | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Satan's Angel was telling me that a friend of hers had, a few years ago, tried to talk her into selling panties ~ and I don't mean opening a lingerie store or having one of those lingerie home parties, I mean selling the panties she's worn, right off her own bottom.

Apparently the friend had quite a nice business going, and when Satan's Angel questioned how much she made, how many panties she sold etc. The friend assured her this was very lucrative and that she sold more panties than she could realistically wear.   

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What If Your Daughter Was A Porn Star?

What If Your Daughter Was A Porn Star? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web […]
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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, August 30, 10:36 AM

Go ahead Gentlemen... enjoy this one... I dare you.

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14 weird questions about life as a porn star, answered by professionals

14 weird questions about life as a porn star, answered by professionals | Sex Work | Scoop.it

You're about to find out *exactly* what these pornstars tell their granny they do for work.


...


1. Does working in porn mean you can't enjoy porn or sex yourself?

Tanya:

"If you work in a restaurant you still enjoy good food.

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5 Reasons Being a Male Porn Star Is Less Fun Than It Looks

5 Reasons Being a Male Porn Star Is Less Fun Than It Looks | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Cracked sat down with Lance Hart, veteran porn star, pornographer, and all around porn-type guy, to get the lowdown on getting down for a camera. Here's what we learned.
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Ritu Rana's curator insight, August 21, 2:24 PM

http://www.riturana.com/

Independent Delhi Escorts and Delhi Model Escorts provide passionate companionship service to gentleman.Ritu rana is a famous Delhi Escorts services as well as high profile escorts ready to serve the varied purpose of the clients. We have huge categories of girls who will join you immediately once you make call us at +91-9717481995

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BDSM Writers Con August 21 - 24, 2014

BDSM Writers Con August 21 - 24, 2014 | Sex Work | Scoop.it

BDSM Writers Con is for EVERYONE interested in writing about or exploring the world of Dominance and submission.

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Why We Need More Erotic Photos Of Older Women (& Lots Of Other Awesome!)

Why We Need More Erotic Photos Of Older Women (& Lots Of Other Awesome!) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Recently a blogger of note accused me of 'pandering to men'. Keep in mind that 'pander', to be precise, means to 'gratify or indulge (an immoral or distasteful desire, need, or habit of a person with such a desire).'...
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Also worthy of reading because even blogging about sex makes you a sex worker...

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Spain's first bondage hotel tied up by red tape

Spain's first bondage hotel tied up by red tape | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Plans to open Spain’s first bondage hotel – inspired by the book Fifty Shades of Grey – have been delayed following objections from locals
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Playmates Not Hookers!

Playmates Not Hookers! | Sex Work | Scoop.it

The line between "porn star" and "prostitute" is actually less blurry than you think, and Playboy would like to keep it that way. Not that Playboy wants to call their Playmates 'porn stars', either, but...

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Sex trade boom as escort agency targets Europe

Sex trade boom as escort agency targets Europe | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The company that operates Ireland's biggest sex-worker website has moved its headquarters to Spain and is expanding its business across Europe, the Sunday Independent has learned.
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More "marveling" (and some panic) at sex workers using Internet & tech.

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Magic Numbers?

Magic Numbers? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
During yesterday's consultation, a client asked a common question: Is there a best age for a PSO to be? While platform sites often have a "member since" date showing in your profile (making math po...
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HBO Latino to Premiere New Show on Brazilian Sex Workers

HBO Latino to Premiere New Show on Brazilian Sex Workers | Sex Work | Scoop.it
It’s hard to tell at this point if the show will be a worthwhile look into Brazil’s sex trade or just another way to exploit women’s bodies.
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Is One of the Most-Cited Statistics About Sex Work Wrong?

Is One of the Most-Cited Statistics About Sex Work Wrong? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Prostitutes don't in actuality start, on average, at age 13, and insisting that they do misrepresents them.
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Coffee Break With Miss's list of sugar baby resources

A list of blogs outside of Tumblr

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More resources here: http://coffeebreakwithmiss.tumblr.com/post/85893148446


(And check out the whole site for other tips!)

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Shon’s Inspiration Booster

Shon’s Inspiration Booster | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Step 1- Write the following phrase on your skin, “The Porn Must Be Written!”


Step 2 - Take a picture of it.


Step 3 - Submit the picture to me at this link.  Submit! Feel free to send it anonymously if you wish.


Step 4- Let me know in your submission if you want me to post it or keep it to my self.


Step 5 - Bask in the good will and positive energy that I send via telepathy and writing magic.
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What everyone gets wrong about sex work

What everyone gets wrong about sex work | Sex Work | Scoop.it

When talking about sex work, media and the public tend to focus on the "sex" rather than the "work."


Melissa Gira Grant aims to change that conversation with her recent book

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http://www.riturana.com/

Independent Delhi Escorts and Delhi Model Escorts provide passionate companionship service to gentleman.Ritu rana is a famous Delhi Escorts services as well as high profile escorts ready to serve the varied purpose of the clients. We have huge categories of girls who will join you immediately once you make call us at +91-9717481995

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Former Sex Worker & Activist Maggie McNeill on Why We Should Decriminalize Prostitution: 'This Is Not What Feminism Was Supposed to Be'

Former Sex Worker & Activist Maggie McNeill on Why We Should Decriminalize Prostitution: 'This Is Not What Feminism Was Supposed to Be' | Sex Work | Scoop.it

"There is a very common form of rhetoric that's used against us … that sex work isn't work. That it's a dodge. That it's a scam. That it's a form of


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An Easy Guide to Sex Work Law Reform: The Difference Between Criminalisation, Decriminalisation, Legalisation & Regulation

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PSO 101: Picking A Name

PSO 101: Picking A Name | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Factors To Think About Before Committing To A (User)name Not to be dramatic, but picking a really good username is kind of a big deal. Think of it like this, your username, and the persona that you craft around it, is the foundation of your business as an adult entertainer. This is your brand and …
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Written for PSOs, but of great value to anyone really.

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Are Love Scenes Hot To Make?

Are Love Scenes Hot To Make? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Think that the actors & actresses have dream jobs where they get paid to have "all that fun"? You might want to read this first ~ before you quit that day job!
When people find out I’ve been an actor and a movie producer, the question I hear most often is, “So, how is it making those love scenes?” What I love is the grin on their face that follows the question. It starts small, more like smirk, and then just grows. They finally get to hear the real dirt. Gossip from the source and you just know it’s going to be good.
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