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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


Via PunterPress
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About sex work and help for sex workers, which includes escorts, professional service providers, erotica authors, phone sex operators, adult bloggers, etc. http://www.sex-kitten.net/blog/
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Phone Sex Operator Photo Content, Blogs, Etc. For Sale To PSOs

Phone Sex Operator Photo Content, Blogs, Etc. For Sale To PSOs | Sex Work | Scoop.it
When I tweeted about a PSO leaving the business and selling off her domain name, blog, and content including photos, the response was pretty big. Not only did I broker that sale in two days, but th...
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Insta PSO kits?

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Mandatory Sugar Tool

Mandatory Sugar Tool | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Mandatory Sugar Tool


For Fresstyling ESPECIALLY.


I’m not sure how many times I have to say this.


GET BUSINESS CARDS.


They’re inexpensive, chic and great supplements while freestyling.

I’ve received so many compliments by men when I tell them to take my business card.

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A History of Courtesans In South Asia -- How Colonialism lead to the Degradation of the Lives of Prostitutes

A History of Courtesans In South Asia -- How Colonialism lead to the Degradation of the Lives of Prostitutes | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I recently submitted an essay about the history of Courtesans in South Asia. It’s quite lengthy, but I thought it would be of interest to those interested in how notions of gender and sexuality changed dramatically with regards to modernity. Here is a brief summary of some key issues:
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The Six Essential Rules For Dating a Porn Star (Or Other Sex Worker)

The Six Essential Rules For Dating a Porn Star (Or Other Sex Worker) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Dating a porn star or stripper is most men’s dream. But if you don’t follow these six essential rules, the fantasy may never become the reality.
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"hahahaha being a sex worker what a hilarious joke!!!"

"hahahaha being a sex worker what a hilarious joke!!!" | Sex Work | Scoop.it
scotiax:
“iwannabeadored:
“iwannabeadored:
“this isn’t funny

hahahaha being a sex worker what a hilarious joke!!! who would ever do that !!! “ RMFE

Wtf is this bullshit? Like this grease stain...
Gracie Passette's insight:

More whorephobia as well as proof of censorship in banking etc.

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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, April 30, 10:31 AM
TheBodyHouse.biz's insight:

Why does the bank care how you make your money as long as it's legal. If this person is 18 or older they have every right to make their own videos and sell them on the internet.


If you can make a living from that I say... More power to you!


Bank executives need to get over themselves and stop judging how people make their money and stick to the business of protecting it.

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The Camgirl Wars Over Public Cum Shows

The Camgirl Wars Over Public Cum Shows | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Public cum shows, sexual webcam performances in public places, are at the center of a debate that has become increasingly violent--and increasingly public.
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Anti-trafficking campaigns, sex workers and the roots of damage

Anti-trafficking campaigns, sex workers and the roots of damage | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Anti-trafficking campaigns have their roots in 19th-century efforts to ‘save’ white women from ‘white slavery.’ Contemporary strategies broaden the stigmatisation and criminalisation, impacting a range of vulnerable communities.
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An eerie, intimate glimpse inside camgirls' empty rooms

An eerie, intimate glimpse inside camgirls' empty rooms | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The environments in which people perform for an online audience prove strangely captivating in and of themselves.

Via Thomas Faltin, Prime Companions, Gracie Passette
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Why did the media fail to report on a groundbreaking study on the lives of people working in the sex industry?

Why did the media fail to report on a groundbreaking study on the lives of people working in the sex industry? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
On 30 January, a mesmerizing report was launched at the Asia-Pacific Intergovernmental Meeting on HIV in Bangkok: The Right(s) Evidence—Sex Work, Violence And HIV In Asia: A Multi-Country Qualitative Study . It is a ground-breaking piece of work for several reasons. It involved an unusual collaboration among governments, sex-worker organizations, communities, UN agencies, and regional agencies in Indonesia, Myanmar, Nepal and Sri Lanka. It is full of fascinating insights into the lives of women, men and transgender people in the sex industry. It finds compelling evidence of widespread violence. It provides thoughtful, evidence-based analysis on causes and possible solutions. It points to a culture of impunity among the police, doctors, and other powerful players that in turn increases the threats of violence, trauma, disease and despair among sex workers, and by extension their families, communities, and customers. It’s full of first-person accounts.


The ultimate juicy news story, and you’ve never heard of it.
Meena Saraswathi Seshu, secretary general of activist organization Sampada Gramin Mahila Sanstha (Sangram), one of the co-authors of the report, talked with me after I had read the report. I know Seshu. She is articulate, and smart. She knows both the media and the landscape of sex work, having organized sex workers for decades. She fully expected the report to create a splash, but instead, she told me, it was greeted with “absolute and total silence”.


“It was launched in Bangkok—nobody wrote about it. It was launched in Myanmar—nobody wrote about it. The UN distributes it—nobody writes about it. Media came to all the events. People from TV, people from newspapers—they interviewed people like the study’s interviewers, who were all sex workers themselves. And then nobody wrote about it.”

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Sex work and the sex worker

Sex work and the sex worker | Sex Work | Scoop.it
"K" is an intersex, trans and sex worker rights advocate. I interviewed K about their sex work experiences, how the needs of sex workers might be respectfully addressed and the ways in which femini...
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Bad website design stops SEO from working on escort sites

Bad website design stops SEO from working on escort sites | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Many owners of agency websites which continuously fail to achieve a high Google ranking are not always aware the cause of their problems is poor design
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Rape victims' compo cut because of offences such as using MOBILE while driving

Rape victims' compo cut because of offences such as using MOBILE while driving | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Two victims each had £2,200 cut from payouts for injuries suffered during horrific sex attacks as they had convictions for TV licence evasion and theft
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Another quote:


She told how a sex worker she represented was informed by CICA the effects of rape at knifepoint were different for prostitutes, and had her award reduced by a third.

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More-than-Survival Strategies: Sex Workers' Unhappy Stories

This essay examines the contributions of unhappy autobiographical narratives to the sex workers’ rights movement. Dominating sex worker advocacy discourse is a “happy hooker” image that eschews “negative” and “stereotypical” characterizations of prostitutes and other sex workers. But as the internet becomes more and more a site for sex work activism, some unhappy whores are using online autobiographical practices to resist this disavowal of negative experience. While reluctant or coerced engagements in sex work are often referred to as “survival sex work,” unhappy sex workers’ online writing practices function as a more-than-survival strategy, politicizing and resisting rather than disavowing the harms they experience in sex work. After reviewing literary and geographical scholarship on the political disenfranchisement of sex workers and situating this disenfranchisement in Judith Butler’s analysis of “the bad life,” this paper presents two close readings of sex workers’ online autobiographical practices. The first analyzes the discourse of disavowal of unhappy experience in sex worker advocacy and its harmful effects on unhappy sex workers. The second close reading discusses sex workers’ stories about exiting the sex industry, highlighting sex workers’ use of metaphors of space and place to elucidate their experiences. The essay concludes on sex workers’ strategies for more-than-surviving: using the three politicizing tactics identified by Butler to resist their expulsion to the bad life.

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Meet the UK’s best-paid sex worker who's campaigning to rid prostitution of its stigma

Meet the UK’s best-paid sex worker who's campaigning to rid prostitution of its stigma | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Josh said there’s a negative attitude towards sex workers. He is now campaigning for the stigma attached to the industry to end. For him, being an escort is just like any regular job.


“It’s the most practiced since the dawn of man so I don’t understand why people have to make such a big deal of it like it’s some sacred cow.


“The only other job you can be in and learn so much about people is being a psychologist.”

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I've Been a Prostitute for Almost Ten Years, And I Wish I'd Never Started It

I've Been a Prostitute for Almost Ten Years, And I Wish I'd Never Started It | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I am embarrassed to be a sex worker, even though I like my job, I’m good at it, and I’ve made exceptional progress in my career over the past few years.
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Phone Sex & Sex Work: What's Loyalty Got To Do With It?

Phone Sex & Sex Work: What's Loyalty Got To Do With It? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
At Divorce Darling, our very own Darla ponders the question, “What loyalty does a paid sex worker owe to a client?”

Her conclusion that sex workers are not loyal is a wise one.

A sex worker owes no more loyalty to his or her clients than any other business owes their clients. Sex workers have to compete for business and court clients via marketing, offering good customer service, and, of course, providing the sexual services as good or better than advertised. But being “loyal” would make for a business with one client. Would WalMart, McDonald’s, or The Hilton survive with just one client? Nope. Such loyalty is not a business model; it’s a personal or romantic relationship ~ “a relationship.”

Phone sex and other virtual sex services are, as we discussed, masturbatory. Real world flesh sex services may not seem so purely masturbatory ~ but they are not relationship sex either. And that’s why any sex worker who
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Sorry Internet, Not All Sex Is Smut

Sorry Internet, Not All Sex Is Smut | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Starting a business is a big deal. Not only it is pretty challenging economically, personally and socially, but also demands an emotional and psychological investment...


Being a female in the Adult Industry has been quite a ride. From the judgemental eyes of prudes, to the chauvinistic disbeliefs of Industry peers. I expected all of this when I first started. What I did not expect was the ingratitude of the technological era, whose tools made me feel safe to take on this venture in the first place. Social Media such as Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Vimeo, Tumblr and WordPress along with Payment Tools that makes everyone’s business easier like Paypal, are suppose to help us reach more people, send out our message, and grow… But then, why it doesn’t it do that for me?

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Also, read my exclusive interview with Erika here. (She just won two more awards too!)

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Model Centro: Make Your Own Professional Member's Only Site

Model Centro: Make Your Own Professional Member's Only Site | Sex Work | Scoop.it

You make magic, we help you turn it into a business!


When you perform, the outpouring of support from fans feeling the connection is magic. Keep that connection & support flowing even when you’re offline with ModelCentro.


Social networks are great for keeping people connected, but no place to share private moments with your most supportive fans. ModelCentro gives you all the great ways to stay connected of a social network and the privacy & discretion you need by helping you create & run your own VIP paid membership site. No experience required!


...There are absolutely no hidden charges or obligations, no monthly fees either. ModelCentro service charges are  based on a revenue share model - that means you pay only a commission deducted as a percentage from your site revenue. As for obligations - you are free to close your site at any time and stop getting new members. The only obligation you will have is the obligation to your fans who already subscribed. Upon closing down your site you will still need to provide site access and site materials to existing members until their subscription period ends in order to avoid chargebacks and money loss.

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Senate Attorney General Confirmation Deal Jeopardizes Free Speech Online | Center for Democracy & Technology

Senate Attorney General Confirmation Deal Jeopardizes Free Speech Online | Center for Democracy & Technology | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Today, the Senate is set to vote on the Justice for Victims of Trafficking Act (JVTA), the bill that last month turned into a partisan battleground over federal funding for abortion and a roadblock to the confirmation of Loretta Lynch as Attorney General. There’s been extensive media coverage of the Congressional logjam, and yesterday there was news that an agreement has been reached to move both issues forward.

Unfortunately, part of the deal to move the bill forward appears to include a version of the SAVE Act which will amend existing federal anti-trafficking law in vague ways that will be used to prosecute online content hosts for third-party content.  This bill, Amendment 273 to the JVTA, closely parallels a version of the SAVE Act that passed the House in January. Almost a year ago, we wrote about the threat that

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The majority of sex workers enjoy their job - why should we find that surprising?

The majority of sex workers enjoy their job - why should we find that surprising? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Prevalent discourse would have you believe that sex workers are problems to deal with, or victims to ‘save’. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
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Why Rome Is Forcing Sex Workers Into One District

Subscribe! https://www.youtube.com/user/seekernetwork?sub_confirmation=1 The city of Rome has a prostitution problem so the mayor has just approved a new ...

Via Royce Kennedy
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Porn Studies | Special Issue: Porn and Labour | Call For Papers

Porn Studies | Special Issue: Porn and Labour | Call For Papers | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Critics of the porn industry are quick to claim its deleterious effects on consumers, and too often presume exploitative abuse of performers. Yet, such arguments ignore the voices of porn performers and producers. It has been the performers and producers themselves who have refused the silencing tactics of stigmatization and shame and spoken candidly in a variety of news and social media venues about their working experiences, their attention to craft and skill, and their efforts towards more ethical, respectful labour conditions. Yet, their strategies of negotiation toward greater self-determination remain problematically undertheorized.

Media and cultural entertainment industries are under greater critical scrutiny around precarious labour, problematic gender and sexual relations, entrenched racism and other forms of prejudice and exclusion, industry convergence, and occupational health and safety. At the same time, critical media and cultural industry scholarship notes an expansion of independent and DIY production, new forms of labour exchange and commercialization, collective and collaborative networking, and audience engagement. Pornography is no different and is, in many ways, leading this entertainment revolution.

This special issue of Porn Studies invites scholars, critics, artists and producers, activists, and educators to explore the contours of Pornography and Labour. Topics may focus on any aspect of pornography production that
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Deadline for submissions is July 1, 2015/

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Shelly DeWilde's comment, April 21, 5:08 PM
I am taking a gender and crime course with Rob Duke (above comment) and I believe that it can cover a wide range of fields and studies. Porn is still an industry that I feel is not going away any time soon and the way it is produced and its regulations regarding it are every bit as involved in the social and justice part of our society. It is always good to keep everyone involved.
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The Dutch central bank fires an inspector who failed to report her part-time job

The Dutch central bank fires an inspector who failed to report her part-time job | Sex Work | Scoop.it
THE stock market was invented in 1602 in central Amsterdam, when traders gathered on the New Bridge for the then-disreputable purpose of speculating in shares of the East India Company. Today the New Bridge marks the entrance to Amsterdam’s Red Light District, an area dominated by other trades long considered disreputable but which the city’s liberal government has tried to bring above-board. But even in Amsterdam, sex work has not shed its stigma, as a former supervisor at the Dutch Central Bank (DNB) discovered last year. The Dutch magazine Quote reported this week that the woman was fired last autumn for having secretly moonlighted for years as a self-employed sex worker, out of an address in the heart of the Red Light District.

Via Rob Duke
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Just Say No: Why You Shouldn't Study Sex Work in School

Just Say No: Why You Shouldn't Study Sex Work in School | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Before I finished my BA, I encountered a social worker who was working on her MA. Her politics were generally pro-decriminalization, but she also liked to trade in horror stories about women whose vaginas fell out from having so much sex. She had secured the cooperation of a rescue organization that collaborated with police to be allowed to study their Very Marginalized Whores. She wanted my help nailing down her research question.


“Don’t do this study,” I said. “Find something else to research.”


“OMG why are you so mean?” was more or less her answer.


I’m finishing one MA and starting another right now. In my first MA, I have studied sex work for a few years. In my second MA, I will not study sex work. I am going to explain why, and I hope others in the same position will also choose not to study sex work.

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This Tech Startup Is Helping the Cops Track Sex Workers Online

This Tech Startup Is Helping the Cops Track Sex Workers Online | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Rescue Forensics claims it can scrape "massive quantities of data" from online escort ads and give that information to law enforcement, but advocates for sex workers say that such a service doesn't help anyone.
Gracie Passette's insight:

More people jumping in to profit by "saving" ~ this time with tech that is dangerous to sex workers and others.

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Curated by Gracie Passette
The Valiant Gnostic Of Sexuality

http://www.gracie-passette-productions.com/graciebio.html