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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


Via PunterPress
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Funding for sex worker rights: report - Red Umbrella Fund

Funding for sex worker rights: report - Red Umbrella Fund | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Opportunities for foundations to fund more and better.   The Red Umbrella Fund, Mama Cash and the Open Society Foundations partnered together to map global grantmaking in support of sex worker rights. The research identified 56 foundations and NGOs that altogether invested a total of €8 million (US$11 million) in support of sex worker rights... Read more »
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Tin Horn Gamblers and Dirty Prostitutes: Vice in 19th Century Council Bluffs (2014)

Tin Horn Gamblers and Dirty Prostitutes: Vice in 19th Century Council Bluffs  (2014) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I usually regret the rare moments in which I’m prevailed on to cut whorephobes a break. My empathetic nature is almost always taken advantage of in these instances and I'm left feeling as if I've been had. As compensation, I exude coolness in interactions with potential whorephobes. It's come to be the most significant way…
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A review of the book Tin Horn Gamblers and Dirty Prostitutes: Vice in 19th Century Council Bluffs (at Amazon).

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GAATW’s Annual Publication Explores the Ultimate Costs of the Anti-trafficking Industry | Global Network of Sex Work Projects

GAATW’s Annual Publication Explores the Ultimate Costs of the Anti-trafficking Industry | Global Network of Sex Work Projects | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The Global Alliance Against Trafficking in Women (GAATW) recently released its annual peer reviewed publication, the Anti-Trafficking Review, at Bangkok, Thailand’s Foreign Correspondent’s Club. The theme of the 2014 Anti-Trafficking Review is “Following the Money: Spending on Anti-Trafficking”.
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Incredible insights

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Eden Was a Scary Movie About Sex-Trafficking Based on a True Story—Or Was It?

Eden Was a Scary Movie About Sex-Trafficking Based on a True Story—Or Was It? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Eden Was a Scary Movie About Sex-Trafficking Based on a True Story—Or Was It? - What does art that claims to be "based on a true story" owe its audience? When the "true" part gets called into question, and the art-makers go silent, what are we supposed to think? - Feature stories on Seattle News, Politics, Arts and Culture. The Stranger covers Seattle and National News with a voice you can't find anywhere else.
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Autopsy suggests dead hooker was fleeing Long Island killer

Autopsy suggests dead hooker was fleeing Long Island killer | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The post-mortem examination raises the possibility that Shannan Gilbert, 24, was fleeing the killer on May 1, 2010 in Oak Beach, L.I.
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Of Sex Workers Jill Brenneman & Amanda Brooks

Of Sex Workers Jill Brenneman & Amanda Brooks | Sex Work | Scoop.it
As in feminism, there have been a number of waves in the sex worker movement. This is due in no small part to the turnover in activists themselves, for it is they who help shape conversations as we...
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Why Violence Against Sex Workers Is A Very Real & Feminist Issue

Why Violence Against Sex Workers Is A Very Real & Feminist Issue | Sex Work | Scoop.it
For those of you who have not yet read the long account of the terrible situation Jill Brenneman & Amanda Brooks find themselves in, get a cup of coffee and go do so. Their several year long or...
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2014 International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers Event Locations

2014 International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers Event Locations | Sex Work | Scoop.it
  2010 Events    2011 Events    2012 Events     2013 Events   2014 Events This year, we anticipate December 17 events will take place numerous cities around the world. To submit your event commemor...
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That's today, folks!

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France’s military brothels: Hidden history of the First World War

France’s military brothels: Hidden history of the First World War | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Prostitution and war often go hand-in-hand. But this is perhaps most true of the First World War, where even the French government played a part in the sex industry – a legacy that continued almost to up to today.
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Foxy Blox ~ The Lego Strip Club

Foxy Blox ~ The Lego Strip Club | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Grab a front row seat for the majesty of the greatest custom LEGO® set ever crafted! The Citizen Brick Center for the Performing Arts is place where dreamers ca
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I'm going for the Lego with chest hair!

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Gracie Passette's curator insight, December 11, 4:17 PM

Lego stipper club!


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Just Who Is A "Sex Worker" & Who Carries The Shame? Irv O. Neil & I Discuss

Just Who Is A "Sex Worker" & Who Carries The Shame? Irv O. Neil & I Discuss | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Erotica author Irv O. Neil and I continue our talk, this time traveling into the semantics and shame of sex work. Do you consider yourself, or erotica writers in general, to be sex workers? Why or ...
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Porn In The UK

Porn In The UK | Sex Work | Scoop.it
You've probably heard about the new acts of censorship that went into effect Tuesday (December 1, 2014) in the UK. Part of the pornocalypse, these latest porn regulations were made via an amendment...
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The Do's And Dont's Of Writing Erotic Fiction

The Do's And Dont's Of Writing Erotic Fiction | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A list of ten tips for writing Erotic Fiction, by the author of 'The Secret Lives of Married Women.'
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International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers - Legal Clinic, March & Vigil

International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers - Legal Clinic, March & Vigil | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers was first recognized in 2003 as a memorial and vigil for the victims of the Green River Killer in Seattle Washington. Since 2003, Day to End Violence Against...
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Life, Death, Trust

Life, Death, Trust | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Sociopath Houston attorney crashes plane with two escorts, hires goons to beat one to death, rapes the other, and gets away with it. Betrayal of trust, traumatic brain injuries, fraud, felonies, and violence against women.
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This story is not for the faint of heart, but for the strong of heart. Read it. Help via GiftRocket.com and using email address: abrooks2014 AT hush.com

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KNPR: Nevada’s Brothel Industry Continues To Shrink

KNPR: Nevada’s Brothel Industry Continues To Shrink | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Cottontail Ranch, Bikini’s Gentleman’s Club and Brothel, Angels Ladies Brothel. On Dec 14, Bobbi Davis will close the Shady Lady Ranch brothel on Highway 95
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Invisible subjects: the men who fuel the demand for prostitution

Invisible subjects: the men who fuel the demand for prostitution | Sex Work | Scoop.it

If prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, then punting is the oldest consumer activity. Yet it remains broadly unexamined, perhaps because the questions it raises are too uncomfortable.


Via bobbygw, Deanna Dahlsad
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Forget 50 Shades, Read About 40 Years ~ In Porn: The Irv O. Neil Interview

Forget 50 Shades, Read About 40 Years ~ In Porn: The Irv O. Neil Interview | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Irv O. Neil is a New York-based writer and editor who has been in the porn business since 1974. Yes, that's him as a mad doctor with a foot fetish in a 1998 Leg Action pictorial with Maya Moore (ph...
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40 years an erotica author

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Wild Wipes For Your Sex Worker Kit

Wild Wipes For Your Sex Worker Kit | Sex Work | Scoop.it
As promised, my brief interview with Peter, the founder of Wild Wipes. Peter, as a former escort, I know most of us had baby wipes in our sex work kits; what makes Wild Wipes different? Are they be...
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And here's my detailed review of why they are better than baby wipes or other wet wipe alternatives.

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Why are so many young men paying for sex?

Why are so many young men paying for sex? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
With the stereotype that only lonely old men pay for sex no longer holding true, Gareth May talks to people involved in sex work to find out why young men are turning to escorts
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No, The Adult Industry Doesn't Happily Accept Financial Discrimination

No, The Adult Industry Doesn't Happily Accept Financial Discrimination | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Credit card companies and banks regularly discriminate against adult businesses. We put up with it because we have no choice. A post pondering this.
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Harry Siegel: The real girlfriend experience

Harry Siegel: The real girlfriend experience | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Even at ten dollars a minute, it's not easy to make a connection

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Inside ‘The Sex Factor’: Where 16 Men and Women Vie For Porn Immortality

Inside ‘The Sex Factor’: Where 16 Men and Women Vie For Porn Immortality | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A new series, ‘The Sex Factor,’ sees a gaggle of men and women compete for a $1 million prize and the designation of ‘international porn star’ status. Think: the ‘X Factor’ of sex.
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The Valiant Gnostic Of Sexuality

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