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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


Via PunterPress
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Sex Work
About sex work and help for sex workers, which includes escorts, professional service providers, erotica authors, phone sex operators, adult bloggers, etc. http://www.sex-kitten.net/blog/
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Dear New Porn Creators:

Dear New Porn Creators: | Sex Work | Scoop.it
• Don’t ever make the mistake of telling people your real name - first, middle, last, just don’t do it.
• Don’t steal people’s ideas - especially if they’re original. Things like teacher and nurse...
Gracie Passette's insight:

Tips for porn makers, camgirls, clip sellers, etc.

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"I’ve never been offended by the word “whore.” Not even when I was supposed to be."

"I’ve never been offended by the word “whore.” Not even when I was supposed to be." | Sex Work | Scoop.it

I’ve never been offended by the word “whore.” Not even when I was supposed to be.
The world fears sexually autonomous women. Like any other fear, there ought to be respect involved. Even if folks...

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How to Make Hot Homemade Porn

How to Make Hot Homemade Porn | Sex Work | Scoop.it
We were so excited to interview Danny Wylde for this weeks comic. Hes a master of pornography making, and the perfect expect to help any of you who might be wanting to make some home made porn. Fol...
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Does anyone actually pay to have phone sex these days...

Does anyone actually pay to have phone sex these days... | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Does anyone actually pay to have phone sex these days?! Ha! Porn is everywhere, there are cam girls and custom clips. I don't believe you make any money at this and are just pretending to make money.

eroticaplexus:

call-secondhandrose:

Dear Not-So-Enlightened Anon,

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Banks And The #Pornocalypse: Operation Choke Point

Banks And The #Pornocalypse: Operation Choke Point: Back in 2014, I wrote a little bit about Operation Choke Point, the US Department of Justice effort to intimidate banks into refusing to handle the banking business of a wide variety of po
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Vancouver client of sex workers speaks out against federal law despite risk of being prosecuted

Vancouver client of sex workers speaks out against federal law despite risk of being prosecuted | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Patrick Clark doesn’t fit the profile of a typical sex-trade activist. Not only is he male, he was born with cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair.


His impaired muscle coordination and unusual movements clearly indicate that he’s living with a serious disability—a product of brain damage that occurred when or just after he was born.


Yet Clark’s mobility issues didn’t stop him from joining the third annual Red Umbrella March on June 13 in downtown Vancouver. Red umbrellas have become the international symbol of sex workers’ solidarity since being adopted as an icon by Venice prostitutes in 2001.


In the eyes of the federal Conservative government, Clark is a criminal because he occasionally pays to have sex.

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Dorothy Retha Cook's curator insight, June 21, 2:51 PM

WHY IS THIS DISABLED MAN A CRIMINAL FOR BUYING SEX WHILE ANOTHER MAN IS NOT A CRIMINAL BECAUSE OF HIS DISABILITY WHEN HE RAPED A PERSON HE WAS SLEEP WHEN HE DID BOTH IS WRONG BUT WHY CONDONE THE WORST AND CRIMINAL THE OTHER A CRIMEISA CRIME!

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Building content-neutral platforms is important for diversity and public health…

Building content-neutral platforms is important for diversity and public health… | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Building content-neutral platforms is important for diversity and public health

I'm personally firmly of the belief that platform providers should not attempt to police creative expression, including sexuality-based expression, that is legal and non-hateful. Proactively blocking access to content is not a sensible way to build services that are useful to the world at large. Providers should respect users' preferences if they ask not to see certain types of content. But providers should default to showing users information that they've specifically requested instead of behaving in a paternalistic manner.

Permitting freedom of expression about sexuality and access to age-appropriate information on sexuality is beneficial to users. Users are best served with information that is appropriate to their needs. This includes the freedom to express non-mainstream sexuality, express it in non-mainstream ways, and access information published by others about non-mainstream sexuality. Platforms should not attempt to censor legally permissible expression related to legal, consensual activity.

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An Interview With Alexandra Rayne About Sex Work

An Interview With Alexandra Rayne About Sex Work | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Alexandra Rayne is a working in the sex industry and is london based. We took some time to discuss sex work, politics and BDSM.

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Exotic dancers file lawsuit against Foxy Lady - WLNE-TV (ABC6)

Exotic dancers file lawsuit against Foxy Lady - WLNE-TV (ABC6) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
By News Staff news@abc6.com Former exotic dancers at the Foxy Lady in Providence are suing their old employer. A dancer who worked at the providence club from 2012 to 2014 filed a class action suit...

Via Royce Kennedy
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Royce Kennedy's curator insight, June 1, 2:56 PM

The precedent has been set. Profit through litigation.  

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NakedTruth.ca: What is a SWERF?

NakedTruth.ca: What is a SWERF? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
SWERF stands for Sex Worker Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

You know her. She calls herself a feminist and her life work revolves around eliminating sex work jobs.

She thinks men should all be ashamed for being men (naturally visual beings).

The name explains itself, but it is interesting to note that the SWERF mentality IS slowly dying like causes steeped in hatred usually do.

How To Identify If You Are a SWERF

Perhaps you are wondering if YOU are a SWERF. Perhaps you hang around with people in the rescue industry, or you have a good friend who has been saying a lot of things about "prostituted women" lately.

Perhaps you have been CALLED a SWERF and you're wondering
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The Women Behind Erotic Fiction

The Women Behind Erotic Fiction | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Warning: The captions of this post are excerpts from the featured writers' erotic literature and contain sexually explicit language.  Who are the people behind erotic fiction, those accounts of racy affairs and clandestine romances so often stashed away in secret, read in the privacy of one’s home?

Via Deanna Dahlsad
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Deanna Dahlsad's curator insight, May 21, 7:02 PM

Quote: “Easy to imagine they would be foxy, leather-clad mistresses, whip in one hand, the other on the keyboard. I knew the reality would be very different. I wanted to see behind their pseudonyms and secret lives,” Woolfall said in a statement.


Why even begin with the nasty stereotype? Do men get that wrap?

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Comment: Sex workers rights are not up for debate

Comment: Sex workers rights are not up for debate | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A New Statesman debate on sex work saw some feminist campaigners question prostitutes' ability to consent to sex work - but all they're doing is putting women at risk of violence
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Sex workers just want you to understand that:

Sex workers just want you to understand that: | Sex Work | Scoop.it
ithotyouknew:
“1. We do this for money, not liberation or empowerment or anything else. Money.
2. We deserve rights and protection just like any other worker.
3. You hurt both victims and consensual...
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There are some who would take exception to #1...

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Today's Phone Sex Marketing Tip: Watch Your Ps

Today's Phone Sex Marketing Tip: Watch Your Ps | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Have you evaluated the seven Ps in your service marketing mix? Most people have heard of the Four Ps in marketing: Product, Price, Place and Promotion. But did you even know that when it comes to s...
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"She's trying to tease you, you dumb motherfucker!"

"She's trying to tease you, you dumb motherfucker!" | Sex Work | Scoop.it

About yelling "take it off!" as discussed by Aziz Ansari

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What is life like being a high priced escort?

How much money did you make? What did you use your cash for? What was your education level? Do you consider yourself to be intelligent? Did you have any other options in life? Why did you choose to be an escort? What types of clients did you have? What were the "transactions" like? What did you talk to your clients about? Are your clients rude to you? What do you do now? Was being an escort fulfilling, if so, how? Would you have done it again? What was your childhood like, ie. broken home? What was your socio economic status? Could you write a simple biography as a response to the question?
Gracie Passette's insight:

Not many answers...

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Rather Call A Mistress Than A Shrink Or Priest

Rather Call A Mistress Than A Shrink Or Priest | Sex Work | Scoop.it
eroticaplexus:
“phone-sex-secrets there is a lot of truth to that. Sometimes there are things I want / need to talk about and someone I don’t actually know in my “vanilla” life is the best person to...
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A "Cheap" Client or Lover

A "Cheap" Client or Lover | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A lesson learned. I just ask myself: how did I resort to him when I had a man who sacrificed his life for the sake of my love? So, as the Kama Sutra advises, “if he is poor and destitute, she should get rid of him as if she had never been acquainted with him in any way before.” In other words, ‘cheap’ men need to be discarded, as they are not worth our time.
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People Say Sex Work Hardens Women Like It’s a Bad Thing

People Say Sex Work Hardens Women Like It’s a Bad Thing | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Yes, I am hardened and don’t get the feels as easy as I used to.  I love it, I’m tough and I don’t take shit, The only way this is a bad thing is if you’re a dude who wants me to treat you like you’re entitled to something.

Yes x1000

This is why guys whine about seeing “pros” - they know we are less easy to manipulate

Gracie Passette's insight:

Click to read the entire discussion ~ this is what many sex workers are talking about when they discuss empowerment.

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"Philanthropy Needs to Go Where Government Won't." A Funder Looks Out for Sex Workers

"Philanthropy Needs to Go Where Government Won't." A Funder Looks Out for Sex Workers | Sex Work | Scoop.it

The health and safety of sex workers: It's not an issue most of us tend to think about every day, but it's yet another example of how marginalized populations are often left out of essential public policy discussions on subjects like health care, housing, education, and workforce development.


That's why we thought it would be a good idea to jump on the phone with some leaders in the field of health and safety for sex workers to find out what philanthropy is doing, and what philanthropy could do, about this segment of our community.

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Sex workers further victimized by deportations, groups say

Sex workers further victimized by deportations, groups say | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Groups that push for sex workers rights are criticizing police and Canada Border Services Agency for deporting those involved in recent massage parlour raids.

Via roosremillardconsulting, Rob Duke
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26 Escorts Reveal What Their First Day At "Work" Was Like

26 Escorts Reveal What Their First Day At "Work" Was Like | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The world's oldest profession.
Gracie Passette's insight:

Clearly most of these people didn't plan or mentally prepare themselves well... And at least one sounds more like rape to me.

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Martyr for Phone Sex

Martyr for Phone Sex | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Oh the Slings & Arrows …… of a mother effin Bitch Boy.

If you’re the sort who appreciates a bit of alliteration, we could call this particular rant post “The Incredible Case of the Curiously Obtuse Cretin.” If we’re talking in soundbites, then our title might well be “When Good Phone Sex Goes Wrong.” Either way, in the instance of FemDom Phone Sex, if something goes wrong, the caller is by default fully & inexcusably culpable. Even though I did know better.
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"Ladies. Sugar Babies do not have a pussy monopoly. We cannot band together and demand a minimum allowance."

"Ladies. Sugar Babies do not have a pussy monopoly. We cannot band together and demand a minimum allowance." | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Ladies. Sugar Babies do not have a pussy monopoly. We cannot band together and demand a minimum allowance. We can’t meet in a council and decide the price of companionship or twat across the board out here. A girl accepting 400 a meet does not stop you from a 6k/month allowance. You stop yourself from that shit by worrying about what Sally is accepting. Sally has kids to feed, meds to buy, she’s more concerned about the safety, security and respect provided by her Splenda daddy than if he can afford to up her allowance, she’s just happy to have some help. Don’t knock...

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What You Really Wanted To Know About Escorting

What You Really Wanted To Know About Escorting | Sex Work | Scoop.it
People are always asking about escorting... "Who would do that?" and "Why?" are the most commonly asked questions. Typically, those questions are equally applied to both the escorts themselves and ...
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Curated by Gracie Passette
The Valiant Gnostic Of Sexuality

http://www.gracie-passette-productions.com/graciebio.html