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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


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About sex work and help for sex workers, which includes escorts, professional service providers, erotica authors, phone sex operators, adult bloggers, etc. http://www.sex-kitten.net/blog/
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Misleading Phone Sex Numbers

Misleading Phone Sex Numbers | Sex Work | Scoop.it
In an article about education in the UK, Students and phone sex: “Why not work as a phone sex operator and pay your way through University”, the author's premise is "Why not work as a phone sex ope...
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Women Of Color Sex Workers Wanted For Participation In Research Study

Women Of Color Sex Workers Wanted For Participation In Research Study | Sex Work | Scoop.it
#Sexwork research participants needed for a research project on women of colour working indoors (in/outcall). Please contact the person listed for further questions and inquiries.
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Lust Cause: Valley phone-sex operators claim they're getting screwed

Lust Cause: Valley phone-sex operators claim they're getting screwed | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Seductively guiding callers through several dozen fantasies a night, X estimates that she's "serviced" more than 40,000 clients during her phone-sex career. Multiply that by thousands of other operators scattered around the country and it's easy to see that billions of dollars are at stake. Just how many is anyone's guess. Although phone-sex operations are legal, the Wall Street Journal has characterized the business as a "shadowy" industry dominated by perhaps fewer than a dozen companies, none eager to publicize its inner workings.

All of which infuriates Madame X, who perceives herself and other operators as crucial players in the industry.

"If Michael Jackson does his dance on the stage, you pay him," she says, fuming. "If Michael Jordan puts that damn ball through the hoop, you pay him. In this business, I'm the one who makes the payoff, so give me the money. And stop treating me like trash just because I'm in the sex industry."
Gracie Passette's insight:

An article from 1997 which highlights many issues discussed today.

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A Letter from a Sex Worker to a Wife About Her Cheating Husband

A Letter from a Sex Worker to a Wife About Her Cheating Husband | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Despite what you may think of me, I offer a service that's discreet, uncomplicated, and a necessary ingredient in a lot of marriages.
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Las Vegas welcomes four days of sex, sex and more sex

Las Vegas welcomes four days of sex, sex and more sex | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It’s quite simple—sex sells. More than $90 billion is generated through the adult entertainment industry worldwide, with the U.S. contributing about a dozen of those billions. This week the American leg (and arm, and stomach, and back, and …) of the industry celebrates its successes with the annual AVN Adult Entertainment Expo and Awards Show at the Hard Rock Hotel, Jan. 21-24.

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Intimate Photos Offer a Glimpse into the Life of a 21-Year-Old Sex Worker (NSFW) - Feature Shoot

Intimate Photos Offer a Glimpse into the Life of a 21-Year-Old Sex Worker (NSFW) - Feature Shoot | Sex Work | Scoop.it
For Eden, Mexico City-based photographer Alicia Vera captures moments in the life of a 21-year-old sex worker living in San Francisco. Vera met Eden three years ago while photographing a project on a strip club, where the 18-year-old had recently begun work. As the photographer began to form an intimate bond with her subject, what started as a wider exploration of women’s rights and female sexuality became a nuanced foray into the experience of one woman.

Via Laura Brown
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Vloasis's curator insight, January 19, 10:51 PM

She looks in her 30s and not 21...a hard road perhaps.

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CES & Sheri's Ranch

CES & Sheri's Ranch | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Want to know where Android app developers and widget designers go to get laid during CES? It's Sheri's Ranch, but, of course, that's according to Sheri's Ranch, who has learned that social media and a web presence makes things true; they've cultivated an online presence that makes most businesses jealous,
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My Life as a Phone Sex Operator: Dialing In

My Life as a Phone Sex Operator: Dialing In | Sex Work | Scoop.it
How I found the part-time job that changed my life.
Gracie Passette's insight:

Continues with part two here.

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Gracie Passette's curator insight, December 20, 2014 4:54 AM

Continues with part two here.

TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, January 19, 9:13 PM

It seems phone sex is still around and still going strong. And many people thought the radio would go by the wayside when TV was invented. So it makes me wonder how many of you guys out there use phone sex services?

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Red-Blooded Thing: Undertaker's Brothel!

Red-Blooded Thing: Undertaker's Brothel! | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Mack Moore wanted to buy some farmland in Nevada, but just happened to buy 80 acres with a brothel on one end. Suuuure, Mack, you didn't intend to give up running a funeral home to run a brothel, it just happened to you. Why can't we have all the luck? Mack has built a thriving business, largely because
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An Adult Search Engine For Adults: Boodigo

An Adult Search Engine For Adults: Boodigo | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Boodigo was created by site operators and content creators who are also experienced search engine users and advertisers, so we have experienced the best and worst that search engines have to offer. In crafting Boodigo, we’ve eliminated the aspects of other search engines that annoyed or troubled us, and emphasized the elements that made search engines such indispensable tools for navigating the Internet in the first place.

Boodigo is designed to return accurate adult entertainment search results for our customers in a secure, private and anonymous environment. Boodigo does not use cookies or other user-tracking technologies to gather information about our users. We aren’t interested in building a “profile” on our users; our core mission is simply to help you find what you’re looking for in a way that’s as efficient, effective and enjoyable as possible. In other words, using Boodigo means finding what you’re looking for without having to worry about what someone else might be finding out about you, at least not from us.

Boodigo also proactively eliminates sites from its responses that are known by us security threats, distributors of malware or perpetrators of fraud, and works with rights-holders to ensure that unlicensed and illegal copies of their creative works are not found in our search results. This helps ensure that when you download content and materials you find through Boodigo, you’re downloading only what you intended to, free of viruses or spyware, and free of intellectual property concerns, too.

Gracie Passette's insight:

You can make sure your adult site is included by adding it here:


https://www.boodigo.com/add_url


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Anthony Gigolo's curator insight, January 25, 3:25 PM

Great idea & excellent resource for those involved in sex work.

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Want to play BINGO with the antis?

Want to play BINGO with the antis? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I recently got some feedback on my blog that read like an auto-generated essay against porn and sex work, hitting all the key arguments that I've heard a thousand times, just rearranged in a different order.

It got me thinking, hasn't anyone made a bingo card about this yet? Apparently not, so I made one
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Internet Porn Stats Infographic

Internet Porn Stats Infographic | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Gracie Passette's insight:

Scroll to see the whole infographic.

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Sex Question Friday: How Many Men Have Paid For Sex?

Sex Question Friday: How Many Men Have Paid For Sex? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and
relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who wanted to know
the following:
 

“How many men have paid for sex with a prostitute before? Is this becoming
more or less common?”

Buying sex is a behavior that appears to have decreased among men in recent
years. Just how much have things changed? As a starting point, consider
this:
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Rip-Off Report WARNING: Don't Do Business With Anything BirchPlace

Rip-Off Report WARNING: Don't Do Business With Anything BirchPlace | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Since 2011, when a crossdressing phone companion of mine introduced me to the company, I've been an affiliate of BirchPlace. (If you are not familiar with affiliate programs, being an affiliate of ...
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Another Boom Or Bust Sex Work Article

Another Boom Or Bust Sex Work Article | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Another story about "the boom in prostitution" associated with energy production ~ this time in Australia, where sex work is legal, but activities associated with it, such as brothels and pimping, ...
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Bitcoin Porn

Bitcoin Porn | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Sexy Saffron had a dilemma: husband lost his job, money was dwindling -- so they decide to make porn. However, it's tough to process payments for porn, especially if you want to keep all the money instead of paying fees. Answer? Bitcoin that smut! Since Bitcoin is a decentralized payment processing system, anyone can accept or send payments, provided you actually have some bitcoins to spend. Last year this time
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Sex workers missing out on development funds

Sex workers missing out on development funds | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Report says groups led by sex workers that support sex workers’ rights need greater backing from donors to help tackle problems and bring long-term change
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Busting Sex Workers Increases Demand

Busting Sex Workers Increases Demand | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Economist Charles Hill argues attempting to reduce the demand for sex services will backfire, increasing its supply and harming sex workers, free agents and coerced alike.
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Funding for sex worker rights: report - Red Umbrella Fund

Funding for sex worker rights: report - Red Umbrella Fund | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Opportunities for foundations to fund more and better.   The Red Umbrella Fund, Mama Cash and the Open Society Foundations partnered together to map global grantmaking in support of sex worker rights. The research identified 56 foundations and NGOs that altogether invested a total of €8 million (US$11 million) in support of sex worker rights... Read more »
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Tin Horn Gamblers and Dirty Prostitutes: Vice in 19th Century Council Bluffs (2014)

Tin Horn Gamblers and Dirty Prostitutes: Vice in 19th Century Council Bluffs  (2014) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I usually regret the rare moments in which I’m prevailed on to cut whorephobes a break. My empathetic nature is almost always taken advantage of in these instances and I'm left feeling as if I've been had. As compensation, I exude coolness in interactions with potential whorephobes. It's come to be the most significant way…
Gracie Passette's insight:

A review of the book Tin Horn Gamblers and Dirty Prostitutes: Vice in 19th Century Council Bluffs (at Amazon).

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Is Twitter censoring sex workers?

Is Twitter censoring sex workers? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Sex workers say the social network has been cracking down on adult content in recent months.
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GAATW’s Annual Publication Explores the Ultimate Costs of the Anti-trafficking Industry | Global Network of Sex Work Projects

GAATW’s Annual Publication Explores the Ultimate Costs of the Anti-trafficking Industry | Global Network of Sex Work Projects | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The Global Alliance Against Trafficking in Women (GAATW) recently released its annual peer reviewed publication, the Anti-Trafficking Review, at Bangkok, Thailand’s Foreign Correspondent’s Club. The theme of the 2014 Anti-Trafficking Review is “Following the Money: Spending on Anti-Trafficking”.
Gracie Passette's insight:

Incredible insights

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Eden Was a Scary Movie About Sex-Trafficking Based on a True Story—Or Was It?

Eden Was a Scary Movie About Sex-Trafficking Based on a True Story—Or Was It? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Eden Was a Scary Movie About Sex-Trafficking Based on a True Story—Or Was It? - What does art that claims to be "based on a true story" owe its audience? When the "true" part gets called into question, and the art-makers go silent, what are we supposed to think? - Feature stories on Seattle News, Politics, Arts and Culture. The Stranger covers Seattle and National News with a voice you can't find anywhere else.
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Autopsy suggests dead hooker was fleeing Long Island killer

Autopsy suggests dead hooker was fleeing Long Island killer | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The post-mortem examination raises the possibility that Shannan Gilbert, 24, was fleeing the killer on May 1, 2010 in Oak Beach, L.I.
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The Valiant Gnostic Of Sexuality

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