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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


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Former Sex Worker & Activist Maggie McNeill on Why We Should Decriminalize Prostitution: 'This Is Not What Feminism Was Supposed to Be'

Former Sex Worker & Activist Maggie McNeill on Why We Should Decriminalize Prostitution: 'This Is Not What Feminism Was Supposed to Be' | Sex Work | Scoop.it

"There is a very common form of rhetoric that's used against us … that sex work isn't work. That it's a dodge. That it's a scam. That it's a form of


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An Easy Guide to Sex Work Law Reform: The Difference Between Criminalisation, Decriminalisation, Legalisation & Regulation

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PSO 101: Picking A Name

PSO 101: Picking A Name | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Factors To Think About Before Committing To A (User)name Not to be dramatic, but picking a really good username is kind of a big deal. Think of it like this, your username, and the persona that you craft around it, is the foundation of your business as an adult entertainer. This is your brand and …
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Written for PSOs, but of great value to anyone really.

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Are Love Scenes Hot To Make?

Are Love Scenes Hot To Make? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Think that the actors & actresses have dream jobs where they get paid to have "all that fun"? You might want to read this first ~ before you quit that day job!
When people find out I’ve been an actor and a movie producer, the question I hear most often is, “So, how is it making those love scenes?” What I love is the grin on their face that follows the question. It starts small, more like smirk, and then just grows. They finally get to hear the real dirt. Gossip from the source and you just know it’s going to be good.
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Canada’s New Sex Laws Will Affect Elderly, Disabled Johns | VICE Canada

Canada’s New Sex Laws Will Affect Elderly, Disabled Johns | VICE Canada | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Sarah Ratchford talks to the elderly johns and people with disabilities who will be affected by Canada's new sex work law, Bill C-36.
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Talking Dirty: The Women Who Still Make Bank as Phone Sex Operators

Talking Dirty: The Women Who Still Make Bank as Phone Sex Operators | Sex Work | Scoop.it

A phone rings — it's always ringing at this time of night. Conveniently waiting, sitting on the far end of her living room couch in her favorite pink robe, Kathleen Vassmer looks down to see which one of the mobiles is buzzing on the coffee table in front of her. Eyeing the lit screen closest to where her feet are propped, she hurries to pick up the call from an unfamiliar number before it goes blank, again. In an uniquely juvenile voice, one not entirely fitting the image of a mature woman working the evening block, she answers, "Hello." 


But the man on the opposite end of the wire isn't looking for Kathleen tonight. "Is this Abby?" he asks instead. Which she replies, in a dainty manner, knowing exactly who the caller is inquiring for, "Hi, honey." Because six days out of the week in the waning hours between midnight and sunrise, the late shift, Kathleen Vassmer takes on a role of more than just herself —she's "Abby," Daddy's little girl. 

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Porn Stars Want to Know: Why Did Facebook Delete Me?

Porn Stars Want to Know: Why Did Facebook Delete Me? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The social network isn’t impressed. Maybe it’s the shock of seeing your bubble butt popping out of skimpy bikini. Or maybe it’s just because you’re a porn star.
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A Local Organization is Working to Help Sex Workers in Seattle

A Local Organization is Working to Help Sex Workers in Seattle | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A local organization is planning to do something tomorrow that in a small way will improve the lives of the most vulnerable sex workers here...
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There's still time to attend the event in Seattle!

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More bang for your buck: How new technology is shaking up the oldest business

More bang for your buck: How new technology is shaking up the oldest business | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Now specialist websites and apps are allowing information to flow between buyer and seller, making it easier to strike mutually satisfactory deals. The sex trade is becoming easier to enter and safer to work in: prostitutes can warn each other about violent clients, and do background and health checks before taking a booking. Personal web pages allow them to advertise and arrange meetings online; their clients’ feedback on review sites helps others to proceed with confidence.


Even in places such as America, where prostitution and its facilitation are illegal everywhere except Nevada, the marketing and arrangement of commercial sex is moving online. To get round the laws, web servers are placed abroad; site-owners and users hide behind pseudonyms; and prominently placed legalese frames the purpose of sites as “entertainment” and their content as “fiction”.

Gracie Passette's insight:

The Economist brings you info on the tech side as well as data (however accurate you may believe it to be) on average rates , including ethnicity, weight, and other "beauty" standards, by location, etc.involved in sex work ~ tho they insist on using the word "prostitution". Mainly focused on female sex workers.


I am still digesting this article.

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Sex workers win reprieve over dole

Sex workers win reprieve over dole | Sex Work | Scoop.it
SEX workers have won a reprieve, and will be treated like any other worker if they become unemployed, after the Government backed down from plans to treat them differently when they wait for six months to get on the dole.
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In Defense of Johns

In Defense of Johns | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I'm not ashamed to pay for sex—and other men shouldn't be either
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This is brilliant! (Save for the sex addiction thing; I'm not a fan of that excuse.)

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Interview: Kristin DiAngelo speaks out for working girls in 'American Courtesans'

Interview: Kristin DiAngelo speaks out for working girls in 'American Courtesans' | Sex Work | Scoop.it
'We’re just human, we’re just like everyone else.'
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Will There Be Satisfaction In Sex Work?

Will There Be Satisfaction In Sex Work? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Thursday night, USA aired the pilot episode of Satisfaction. It was pretty clear from the heavy promotion, that this show was going to be about a married man who discovers his wife is using the ser...
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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, July 23, 6:13 PM

This is a new show I haven't seen yet. The article is interesting and addresses the many reasons why so many people enter the sex work industry..... Hint- it's not just for money and desperation. Amen.


If you're a frequenter of sex services... be they erotic bodyrubs or full service escorts or anything in between, this article may be enlightening.


The fact is, sex work is real work. Treat your provider as the business person they are. If they are professional and serious about the service they offer then they may just rank up their with your therapist and doctor.


Is this a grandiose notion? Well, if you think of the time, money and effort some clients put into receiving sex services then no, it isn't.


Sex work may even be the "apple a day" that keeps clients healthy enough to stay out of the doctor's office and out of the therapist's chair.


Why do I say this?


Well, it could be because I'm in the sex industry and I know most of my clients let go completely with me. They are looking to "let go" fully with someone on every level, not just sexually.


Most of us hold something back from doctors and therapists, right? But, why hold back with a sex worker? It's as primal as it gets.


It's the oldest profession and like death and taxes we can always count on it being there no matter how far underground it's driven. 


So have a look at "Satisfaction" a new show about an old industry. You might have fun watching and learn a little something too. ;)



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5 Reasons Being a Male Porn Star Is Less Fun Than It Looks

5 Reasons Being a Male Porn Star Is Less Fun Than It Looks | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Cracked sat down with Lance Hart, veteran porn star, pornographer, and all around porn-type guy, to get the lowdown on getting down for a camera. Here's what we learned.
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BDSM Writers Con August 21 - 24, 2014

BDSM Writers Con August 21 - 24, 2014 | Sex Work | Scoop.it

BDSM Writers Con is for EVERYONE interested in writing about or exploring the world of Dominance and submission.

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Why We Need More Erotic Photos Of Older Women (& Lots Of Other Awesome!)

Why We Need More Erotic Photos Of Older Women (& Lots Of Other Awesome!) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Recently a blogger of note accused me of 'pandering to men'. Keep in mind that 'pander', to be precise, means to 'gratify or indulge (an immoral or distasteful desire, need, or habit of a person with such a desire).'...
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Also worthy of reading because even blogging about sex makes you a sex worker...

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Spain's first bondage hotel tied up by red tape

Spain's first bondage hotel tied up by red tape | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Plans to open Spain’s first bondage hotel – inspired by the book Fifty Shades of Grey – have been delayed following objections from locals
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Christy Mack's Assault Exposes Misogyny, Victim-Blaming, & Sex Worker Shaming

Christy Mack's Assault Exposes Misogyny, Victim-Blaming, & Sex Worker Shaming | Sex Work | Scoop.it
By now you've probably hear about the brutal attack on sex worker Christy Mack alleged to be the work of her ex-boyfriend, Jon Paul Koppenhaver aka War Machine. The model and adult porn star releas...
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One Benefit Of Legalised Prostitution Seen In New Zealand

One Benefit Of Legalised Prostitution Seen In New Zealand | Sex Work | Scoop.it
One of the great social public policy questions of our day is what is it that we should be doing about prostitution? Answers vary around the world: there are places where it is strictly verboeten and heavy punishments are meted out. There are also places like New Zealand and Germany [...]
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Motivations for sexual risk behaviors among older men in Shanghai, China: a qualitative study

Motivations for sexual risk behaviors among older men in Shanghai, China: a qualitative study | Sex Work | Scoop.it
China's population is quickly aging and this trend is expected to continue. Thus it is important to develop HIV interventions to help protect older Chinese from infection. Limited information exists regarding sexual risk behaviors and associated personal motivations among persons aged 50 and over in China.
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A personal choice: The internet is making the buying and selling of sex easier and safer. Governments should stop trying to ban it

A personal choice: The internet is making the buying and selling of sex easier and safer. Governments should stop trying to ban it | Sex Work | Scoop.it
STREET-WALKERS; kerb-crawlers; phone booths plastered with pictures of breasts and buttocks: the sheer seediness of prostitution is just one reason governments have...
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Decriminalization of sex work could reduce HIV infections

Decriminalization of sex work could reduce HIV infections | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A new study found that the decriminalization of sex work could reduce HIV infection.
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Andrea Taylor's curator insight, August 8, 10:06 AM

anthropology and sociology

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Meet the Modern-Day Masters of Sex

Meet the Modern-Day Masters of Sex | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Talking with today's top sex researchers about where sex is headed.


Nobody plans on being a sex researcher when they grow up. Nobody plans to work a strain gauge between splayed legs as they measure changes in penis circumference during sexual stimulation. Nobody dreams to sit across from over-caffeinated college students who are looking to make a quick buck, having to prosaically ask, “When’s the last time you’ve had oral sex?” and then wait for the answer to scrawl on a clipboard.


Yet, sex research remains a growing field. The average annual salary of a sexologist or sex researcher can range anywhere from $40,000 to $63,000, according to modest estimates, but with potential for that number to skyrocket if the person in question takes on sex therapy, blogging, and, of course, the celebrity of television “sexpert” appearances. Beginning as a scientific discipline in the classical Greek period, there are currently over 20 schools and institutes that provide higher education for those wishing to start a career doing clinical, survey, observational, or experimental sex research.

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Support sex worker activist Isabel fight violence

Support sex worker activist Isabel fight violence | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Emergency funds for Isabel, a Brazilian sex worker who is in hiding since testifying against police.
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Sex work’s real risks

Sex work’s real risks | Sex Work | Scoop.it
When we focus on the act of prostitution as the source of all problems in sex workers’ lives, we find victims where there are none – and ignore the state’s role in creating unnecessary dangers
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