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Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too

Brothels for disabled people: Guess what? We like sex too | Sex Work | Scoop.it

It doesn't have to be just about sexual activity, sometimes building confidence is just as important 

 

In 2008, an Observer survey found that 70% of people would not consider having a sexual relationship with someone with a physical disability.

 

In 2009, Lucy Baxter, mother of Otto Baxter, who has Down’s Syndrome, said that she would have no problem if her son “went to a brothel in Amsterdam” to have a sexual experience.

 

In 2012, FHM magazine revealed its three sexiest female Paralympians. In the same year, married Paralympian Sarah Storey revealed her first  pregnancy, and Channel 4 screened its first series of a dating show for disabled people with a title that could use serious improvement. The second series ends tomorrow, and the show has done its job- proved that we are very dateable, thank you very much.

 

At the beginning of 2013, Hollywood movie The Sessions, which tells the story of a man paralysed by polio who visits a sex therapist, was nominated for two Golden Globes. Sadly, it didn’t win any.

 

Then, just last week, former madam Becky Adams revealed to the media that she wants to open an accessible brothel for disabled clients in England in 2014. She has already created a free service which connects disabled people with female prostitutes.

 

I’m a woman and I have been disabled since birth. I thanked FHM when they recognised something I have always known - that disabled women can be beautiful, too. I was thrilled to hear that Sarah Storey is pregnant. I’ve seen every episode of The Undateables and I look forward to watching The Sessions.

 

However, back in 2009, I smiled a very embarrassed smile when I heard of what Lucy Baxter wanted her son to do. He’s around my age, and if my mother wanted to have that level of involvement in my love life, I would not have been impressed. But at the time, when I thought about the results of the Observersurvey, it was easy to understand why the Baxters felt they had no other choice but to go to Amsterdam.

 

When I was growing up in the 1990s, there was absolutely no recognition that disabled people had romantic or sexual feelings. But, guess what, world? We do.

 

So I can see that Becky Adams, by her planned actions, wants to show the world that she realises and recognises this very important fact. I thank her for this.

 

In 2009, when Otto Baxter hit the headlines, the Observer survey was much more recent. Today, its five years old, and based on all the progress that has been made in this area since it was released, a little outdated, in my opinion.

 

I would like to hope that a similar survey today would have very different results that would be more favourable towards disabled people.

 

For one thing, Becky Adams told BBC Radio 2′s Jeremy Vine that she had received as many emails from people seeking to work with her as people looking to use the service.  So, non-disabled women today don’t seem to be against the idea of having a sexual experience with a disabled man.

 

I’m pleased to see that Becky Adams is concerned about making her service accessible to people with physical disabilities. She plans to furnish it with ramps, hoists and other helpful equipment.  She told BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan that physically disabled people want access to sexual services as much as anyone else, but they can face physical barriers.

"Working ladies often set up in a flat above a chip shop which is difficult to access," she says, "so it is about setting up somewhere that is totally accessible."

Brothels are illegal in the United Kingdom. But Adams has an answer ready for this. She believes that her project has a higher positive purpose, maintaining that: "If you are educating or training people with disabilities with their sexual functions, it is not a brothel." She has invested £62,000 in the project.

She says clients for her current service, called Para-Doxies and running in Milton Keynes, can be men, women or couples, and come from a range of backgrounds.

"We see service men who've been wounded. They are going through traumatic times and so choose not to try and form a relationship. They like to boost their confidence by seeing a lady and maybe having a massage."

The women, who she refers to as body workers, sometimes show men with autism how to chat up girls. Sex, Adams explains, is often not on the cards. 

"A lot of our clients have no ability to perform a sexual experience," she says, "it could be just about holding somebody naked skin to naked skin for an hour."

The not for profit company has been running since last year and Adams says she already receives around 12 enquiries a week. The service aims to help disabled people to find workers and there are experts available to give advice to disabled people, parents and carers, on any legal questions arising.

Adams also told Nolan that she recognises that disabled people can and do form sexual relationships in their own right. This is something I would personally agree with. I feel strongly that disabled people should be allowed to form romantic and sexual relationships for themselves, just like anyone else, whether these are with other disabled people or not. I am pleased to see this is recognised.

Adams has been criticised for putting two vulnerable groups - disabled people and sex workers - together through her services. 

Defending her service, and the people involved in it, Adams says: "We have a very small number of ladies, most of whom have come from the nursing profession or caring profession. They see themselves as holistic body workers, rather than prostitutes," and apparently most work on a voluntary basis.

Does the service cheapen the idea of sex? Adams doesn't think so:

"From the comments we get from clients, they have a much better human experience afterwards, because many of them were in residential care all their lives and have no human experience.

 

"After his first session with a body worker, one client said that he hadn't realised women have warm skin."

 

All that is left for me to say as a disabled woman and a feminist is - although I don’t think I’d use it myself - I hope Adams’ planned centre will be open to disabled women as well as men.

 


Via PunterPress
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About sex work and help for sex workers, which includes escorts, professional service providers, erotica authors, phone sex operators, adult bloggers, etc. http://www.sex-kitten.net/blog/
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Who Doesn’t Want A Man Servant?

Who Doesn’t Want A Man Servant? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Remember last year when we told you about that imaginary boyfriend service? Well, there’s an even better service now, which employs humans, not bots: Man Service. Vice’s Broadly gave us…
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News Regarding Wishlists, Gifts, & Tips

News Regarding Wishlists, Gifts, & Tips | Sex Work | Scoop.it
With all the talk about gifts & tips (or tributes), platform percentages & issues, payment options & costs, I wanted to highlight some new options… GiftRocket GiftRocket, an onlin…
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My Husband Is Bisexual! Now What?

My Husband Is Bisexual! Now What? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A long time ago, in a land far far away there lived a Prince. He was charming, handsome, smart and rich – a real catch. Then, one day – he went to a ball in search of his soul mate. That’s when he instantly fell in love with a Princess, the most beautiful of all. Their eyes met and it was love that would last forever and ever… at least, that’s what we are told. Truth is, this glorified Prince had probably had another prince on the side already, the Princess had probably had an elf or another princess to fool around with too, but Disney never told us about that, did he now? Sure, it’s always easier to live an illusion than face reality. Until it slaps you in the face.
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Again, Me With The Sex Work & Feminism Stuff

Again, Me With The Sex Work & Feminism Stuff | Sex Work | Scoop.it
What’s most amazing about this short video is the fact that escorts and porn stars are both included. Like actually together! Normally, as I have noted before in The Great Porn Star ~ Sex Worker Divide, porn stars typically take great efforts to not be included in the sex worker category, instead hiding behind their status as actors and actresses. While this actor/actress distinction has historically protected them from legal prosecution, there are many who prefer the “loftier” terms simply because it elevates them from prostitutes. In other terms, they suffer from whorephobia.
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Actresses and Sex Workers Aren't So Different After All

Actresses and Sex Workers Aren't So Different After All | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Do A-list advocates like Kate Winslet and Lena Dunham really know anything about sex workers? One hundred years ago, both would have been considered fallen women.
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When Beauty Is A Crime

When Beauty Is A Crime | Sex Work | Scoop.it
The blackmail was possible because at that time, colored cosmetics were not for ladies, only for prostitutes and/or actresses — the latter of which was equally reviled and in fact, the words ‘actress’ and ‘whore’ were synonymous to many.  This whore/Madonna beauty thing is partly why I began collecting/studying such things, so how intriguing to discover Madam Rachel!
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Women in the porn industry need rights and proper pay, not token gestures

Women in the porn industry need rights and proper pay, not token gestures | Sex Work | Scoop.it
On International Women’s Day, we don’t need token gestures that mask inequalities and offer no material benefits.

We need decriminalisation of the production, screening, advertising and sale of pornography and protections enabling performers to access industrial rights mechanisms and health and safety standards.
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Call For Interviews: Phone Sex Operators With Disabilities

Call For Interviews: Phone Sex Operators With Disabilities | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I've been contacted by a reporter for an online publication (with a million monthly readers) who is interested in doing a news story about people with disabilities working as phone sex operators
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Coins In The Slot (Or, Golden Escort Fantasies)

Coins In The Slot (Or, Golden Escort Fantasies) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
In Australia, where sex work is legal, a Gold Coast sex worker has been advertising her escort services by touting her past modeling experiences. Sounds like a good marketing ploy, right? Wrong. An…
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Good Overview: Scientists score one over celebrities in battle to decriminalize sex work

Good Overview: Scientists score one over celebrities in battle to decriminalize sex work | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Ignoring the protests of Hollywood actresses, Amnesty International has come out for the decriminalization of prostitution.
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#Pornocalypse Capital

But that’s not why I’m blogging about this article. Instead, I want to commend it for its summary of the financial challenges faced by innovators in sex tech. It’s as neat a summary of the #pornocalypse phenomenon as I’ve seen, and it confirms my long-argued theory that it’s the involvement of the investor class that drives the exclusion of sexuality from any modern business or product:
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Is Prostitution Just Another Job?

Is Prostitution Just Another Job? | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Many sex workers think their work should be as legal as accounting. And American society is closer than ever to agreeing with them.
Gracie Passette's insight:

Stop using the "P" word!

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Sex work veteran hails changes over years

Sex work veteran hails changes over years | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Cameron Cox started as a sex worker in Sydney when gay sex was illegal and now is a key figure in the industry, running the Sex Work Outreach Project. 

 

...

He credits the quick thinking of Sydney's sex workers with containing the spread of HIV.

 

 

"They introduced condoms to the Sydney," he said.

 

 

The latest HIV strategy from the federal government acknowledges HIV/AIDs has been almost eliminated in the sex work community which academics credit to decriminalisation of sex work in 1995.

 

 

Aside from the physical side of his job, Mr Cox often takes on the role of an unorthodox marriage counsellor.

 

 

"Sex workers often spend that last half hour on the end of the bed, looking at photos of kids and wives," he said.

 

 

"People think we're home wreckers, but a lot of the time we talk people down from leaving their families and encourage them to go back to their lives."

 

 

Like most people, Mr Cox tries not to bring his work home to his current partner of 15 years.

 

 

"People think sex work would be the main problem in a relationship, but sex workers are just as good as anyone at getting out of doing the washing up and forgetting to take the bins out," he said.

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Sex Workers Share Stories Of Clients Using The "L" Word

Sex Workers Share Stories Of Clients Using The "L" Word | Sex Work | Scoop.it
"No one ever asked me if I felt oppressed, under-appreciated, or taken advantage of when I was a barista.

Yet when I speak on sex worker panels, I can almost guarantee that someone will make it their personal mission to do just that."
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Zealous Anti-Prostitution Prosecutor Paid for Sex Hundreds of Times - Hit & Run : Reason.com

Zealous Anti-Prostitution Prosecutor Paid for Sex Hundreds of Times - Hit & Run : Reason.com | Sex Work | Scoop.it
While cracking down on prostitution in Michigan, Stuart Dunnings III was routinely shelling out money for sexual services, authorities say.
Gracie Passette's insight:

Another story showing the hypocrisy of those who fight against and "save" in #sexwork ~ which, of course, ends with his arrest for paying for sex himself.

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Homosexualitiy in Eighteenth-Century England: The Raid on Mother Clap's Molly House, 1726

Homosexualitiy in Eighteenth-Century England: The Raid on Mother Clap's Molly House, 1726 | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Homosexuality in Eighteenth-Century England: A Sourcebook compiled by Rictor Norton
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YouGov Survey Reveals U.S. Attitudes on Paying for Sex

YouGov Survey Reveals U.S. Attitudes on Paying for Sex | Sex Work | Scoop.it
A new nationwide survey offers a snapshot of attitudes toward accepting payment for sex.
Gracie Passette's insight:

Note the gender differences *sigh*

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Gracie Passette's curator insight, March 18, 4:18 PM

Note the gender differences *sigh*

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Part Two Of The Exclusive SinCats Phone Sex Site Interview

Part Two Of The Exclusive SinCats Phone Sex Site Interview | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Continuing the Sin Cats interview with Mary Bennet. (Bennet is in charge of Social Media Marketing and Promotions as well as a Support Rep for Affiliates and Partners at SinCats.) In the first part...
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YET ANOTHER CONDESCENDING DUMP ON STRIPPERS

YET ANOTHER CONDESCENDING DUMP ON STRIPPERS | Sex Work | Scoop.it
YET ANOTHER CONDESCENDING DUMP ON STRIPPERS I was so stoked when I learned that an Oscar statue had been made in the likeness of a stripper! (Shout out to Jane Helpern/stripper-ally-goddess for always...
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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, March 10, 4:45 PM
Check out this ballsy retort on a piece of "art"...
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The Exclusive Sin Cats Interview (Part 1)

The Exclusive Sin Cats Interview (Part 1) | Sex Work | Scoop.it
Sin Cats is a relatively new phone sex site. It’s not truly a platform site, which means it is neither collecting payments nor taking a cut of transactions, but it is far more than a marketing or advertising opportunity as it does offer the option to safely and anonymously connect calls and chat. Intrigued, I sat down to discuss with Mary Bennet, who is in charge of Social Media Marketing and Promotions for Sin Cats. Here, in this first part of my interview, Bennet gives us an overview of the new site.
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Today’s Phone Sex Tip (for callers & PSOs) is a reminder regarding the benefits of going hands-free.

Today’s Phone Sex Tip (for callers & PSOs) is a reminder regarding the benefits of going hands-free. | Sex Work | Scoop.it

Today’s Phone Sex Tip (for callers & PSOs) is a reminder regarding the benefits of going hands-free. From my pro post on tech:

Hands-free options for mobile phones, Skype, VoIP, etc. not only means you have both of your hands free to pleasure yourself during calls, but such options and accessories provide simple comforts which cannot be over-emphasized…

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Of Boobs On My Twitter Timeline & Women’s Rights

Of Boobs On My Twitter Timeline & Women’s Rights | Sex Work | Scoop.it
I met an old friend for lunch today. As is the new polite norm for such lunches, he took a moment to deal with messages on his phone before putting turning it off & putting it back in his pocke…
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An Interview with Erika Lust on Crowdsourcing Feminist Porn

An Interview with Erika Lust on Crowdsourcing Feminist Porn | Sex Work | Scoop.it
"Even though I love coming up with my own scenarios for films, it feels way more communal and diverse to let people tell me their erotic visions. Ordinary people have extraordinary stories to tell, and they are a joy to shoot."
Gracie Passette's insight:

Love Erika Lust! Here's my interview with her too.

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Gracie Passette's curator insight, March 9, 5:09 AM

Love Erika Lust! Here's my interview with her too.

TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, March 9, 2:02 PM

Check out this interview with a female porn producer... 

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Phoenix Goddess Temple Proves Need For Sex Worker Solidarity

Phoenix Goddess Temple Proves Need For Sex Worker Solidarity | Sex Work | Scoop.it
"As long as the law can come for some of us, they can come for all of us."
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TheBodyHouse.biz's curator insight, March 9, 12:41 PM
Another example of how you guys love us... and hate us...
Curated by Gracie Passette
The Valiant Gnostic Of Sexuality

http://www.gracie-passette-productions.com/graciebio.html