Sex Positive
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Sex Positive
Sexuality as a human right.
Curated by Deanna Dahlsad
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Why Some Breakups Are More Painful Than Others

Why Some Breakups Are More Painful Than Others | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Research has found that people in intense romantic relationships often cease to describe themselves with unique identifiers, ascribing most of what is interesting about themselves and their lives to the shared territory of the union with their partner. One such study found that by identifying too closely with our partners, we can actually confuse our traits with their traits, and even our memories with their memories
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Rescooped by Deanna Dahlsad from Let's Get Sex Positive
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Dirty Talk: When Is It Masturbation, When Is It An Affair?

Dirty Talk: When Is It Masturbation, When Is It An Affair? | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Over at Pulse.com.gh, “Ghana’s online news platform,” there’s some good old fashioned relationship fear-mongering: Warning!!! These 9 people likely to have an affair with yo…

Via Gracie Passette
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Gracie Passette's curator insight, January 7, 2016 3:57 AM

Dear World, are you honestly trying to tell me that people who love one another, people wish to remain together, can never ever masturbate on their own again?!

BlueListMe's curator insight, January 23, 2016 9:33 AM

This article makes a very good point. It addresses some of the reasons why sex workers play such an important role in society. Indeed... as they always have...

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Dealing With Dating Mistakes: Tips From Sex Workers

Dealing With Dating Mistakes: Tips From Sex Workers | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Continuing (somewhat slowly) our discussion with sex workers about first dates and blind dates… In this fifth part in the series, we’re asking the professionals to focus on specific dat…

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Sex and Our Psychological Needs

Sex and Our Psychological Needs | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Men and women get caught up in their own needs and then project those needs onto everyone around them. Women see men as cold and brutish because they expect them to have the same need for connection that they have. Men see women as manipulative and deceitful because they assume women use sex as a tool for self-esteem like they do. In both cases, they’re wrong and mischaracterizing the people lying naked in front of them.

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The Truth & Nothing But The Truth About Online Dating

The Truth & Nothing But The Truth About Online Dating | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
When it comes to online dating, both men and women are accused of lying ~ about everything from how they look, to their relationship status. Since dating can be emotional and stressful all by itsel...

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Men And Women May Be Wired To View Cheating Differently

Men And Women May Be Wired To View Cheating Differently | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus may feel outdated or even downright sexist, but a recent study suggests that there may be some truth to that notion -- at least when it comes to the way men and women tend to view cheating.

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Infidelity in 2014: How Modern Life Lets Us Cheat

Infidelity in 2014: How Modern Life Lets Us Cheat | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
People cheated on network television, and we ate popcorn instead of getting outraged.
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Hetero Men Complain About Sexual Rejection From Women. Really?

Hetero Men Complain About Sexual Rejection From Women. Really? | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Over at Eros Blog, Bacchus has an interesting discussion about a point raised in Adrienne West's post at Thought Catalog. In West's "true sex story", she writes about her discovery that men like po...

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Gracie Passette's curator insight, November 12, 2014 6:26 PM

It's long, it's ranty, it's real.

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Understanding The “What” In “What Do You Desire?”

Understanding The “What” In “What Do You Desire?” | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Examining the what in what do you desire? provides deeper understanding to the nuances of the motivation behind sex.

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How to stay obsessed and enamored: The best way to save a marriage is sex

How to stay obsessed and enamored: The best way to save a marriage is sex | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Some octogenarians recently told the Pope that sex is the key to marital success--and research shows they're right

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When men who abstain from pre-marital sex get married - The Week Magazine

When men who abstain from pre-marital sex get married - The Week Magazine | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Young men who take abstinence pledges have trouble adjusting to sexual norms when they become husbands

Via No Shame Movement
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No Shame Movement's curator insight, October 5, 2014 1:23 PM

Study finds that men struggle to adjust viewing sex as something healthy and not taboo after marriage.

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Keeping Up With The Joneses, Sexually

Keeping Up With The Joneses, Sexually | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Nearly two weeks ago, there was a serious discussion on Reddit regarding married couples and how often they were having sex: Married people of Reddit, how often are you and your spouse having sex? ...

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There are more people that approve of polygamy, than there are people that approve the United States Congress!

There are more people that approve of polygamy, than there are people that approve the United States Congress! | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

A poll conducted by the New York Times in October of 2011, stated that only 9% of people approved of Congress. Basically, 91% of the polled population believed that Congress was no good, and that they didn't trust them.

If you think that number is shocking, just wait until you hear about how many people support polygamy! Shockingly, polygamy being labelled as "morally acceptable" is approved by 11%!

Deanna Dahlsad's insight:

Other insights, so click!

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The How I Met Your Mother Finale Forgot the Rules About "The One"

The How I Met Your Mother Finale Forgot the Rules About "The One" | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

The How I Met Your Mother finale tossed out the rules of "The One" and traditional Happily Ever After and nailed it by looking like, well, life.

Deanna Dahlsad's insight:

Perhaps if we can get our minds wrapped around the truth of love, of multiple loves, then multiple lovers won't be so alarming.


Best line: "People, this is your brain on Disney princesses."

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Laura Brown's comment, April 3, 2014 11:29 PM
I watched 8 seasons of it on NetFlix. Nine isn't there yet, of course. But, after all that, Barney and Robin don't get married and Ted ends up with her? Blah, blah, blah... that story didn't need that many years in the making. He proposed to her the first episode.
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How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get « OkTrends

How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get « OkTrends | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
  • Black women write back the most. Whether it’s due to talkativeness, loneliness, or a sense of plain decency, black women are by far the most likely to respond to a first contact attempt. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and, overall, black women reply about a quarter more often that other women.
  • White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.
  • White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates tonon-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.

Via Community Village Sites, Deanna Dahlsad
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Stanley Siegel, LCSW – Making Sex Positive Choices

Stanley Siegel, LCSW – Making Sex Positive Choices | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

Most of us, gay and straight alike, feel that having a life-long partner is preferable to going through life alone or with a series of affairs or short-term relationships. There is much in our culture that supports this notion, from the large number of tax benefits given to married couples, to the countless themes of Sunday morning church services. And while we idealize this idea in movies, television shows, novels and fairy tales, forging a successful long-term relationship is quite another story.


Statistics over the last few decades show that nearly half of all marriages end in divorce though the number has been decreasing slightly in recent years. Among the most commonly reported reasons are problems related to sex, especially the loss of intimacy and infidelity. Yet we still underestimate the importance of sex in our relationships, placing it low on the list of priorities. Collectively, we fail to appreciate sex as a spiritual and psychological affirmation of life.

Deanna Dahlsad's insight:

Part 3 in a series.

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How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

McKinlay, a lanky 35-year-old with tousled hair, was one of about 40 million Americans looking for romance through websites like Match.com, J-Date, and e-Harmony, and he’d been searching in vain since his last breakup nine months earlier. He’d sent dozens of cutesy introductory messages to women touted as potential matches by OkCupid’s algorithms. Most were ignored; he’d gone on a total of six first dates.


On that early morning in June 2012, his compiler crunching out machine code in one window, his forlorn dating profile sitting idle in the other, it dawned on him that he was doing it wrong. He’d been approaching online matchmaking like any other user. Instead, he realized, he should be dating like a mathematician.

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What's Behind Winter Romance?

What's Behind Winter Romance? | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Did you know that there's an official "wedding engagement season"? Yup, in spite of the fact that it pisses Jezebel off (They get pissed off over the weirdest stuff.), roughly 40% of proposals occu...

Via Gracie Passette
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Gracie Passette's curator insight, January 22, 2014 6:32 PM

Studies about the romance (and sex) of the winter season.

Shawnee Rivers's curator insight, January 23, 2014 10:37 PM

Ooooh!

Rescooped by Deanna Dahlsad from SEX | DATING | RELATIONSHIPS
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Love vs Lust

Love vs Lust | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

"As a psychiatrist, I’ve seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people.

 

Why? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the same area lights up when an addict gets a fix of cocaine as when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction. Also in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection–you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be–rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all."

 

 


Via PAT NOVAK
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It involves pajamas and pancakes and equality.

It involves pajamas and pancakes and equality. | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

A 4-Year-Old Girl Asked A Lesbian If She's A Boy. She Responded The Awesomest Way Possible.

Ash Beckham is awesome. She also happens to be gay, and she thinks it's hard for straight people coming out of the closet.

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Deanna Dahlsad's curator insight, November 14, 2013 12:22 AM

This not just about being gay -- it's about the hard conversations we all face, the fact that not having those conversations is killing us, that living with any sorts of stress and fear is being closet.

Deanna Dahlsad's curator insight, November 14, 2013 12:23 AM

This not just about being gay -- it's about the hard conversations we all face, the fact that not having those conversations is killing us, that living with any sorts of stress and fear is being closet.

Deanna Dahlsad's curator insight, November 14, 2013 12:23 AM

This not just about being gay -- it's about the hard conversations we all face, the fact that not having those conversations is killing us, that living with any sorts of stress and fear is being closet.

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Romance and the Problems with "By Women, For Women, About Women"

Romance and the Problems with "By Women, For Women, About Women" | Sex Positive | Scoop.it
Why describing romance novels as the only books by, for, and about women is problematic.

Via Joan Vinall-Cox, Deanna Dahlsad
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If Guys are Coerced by Girls, Is It Still Sexual Abuse?

If Guys are Coerced by Girls, Is It Still Sexual Abuse? | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

A friend of mine was in a relationship about 2 years ago. He’s a guy. His girlfriend at the time pressured him into doing oral sex by saying that if he didn’t do it that meant he didn’t love her. Would that be sexual abuse? Because if a guy pressured a girl into giving him a blow job that would be considered sexual abuse and I’m just double-checking to see if that goes both ways.

Deanna Dahlsad's insight:

Click for Heather Corinna's reply

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On Couples, Porn, Masturbation, & Phone Sex (Or “What’s The Deal With Phone Sex? Part Three”)

On Couples, Porn, Masturbation, & Phone Sex (Or “What’s The Deal With Phone Sex? Part Three”) | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

Guilt and jealousy over masturbating?!


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Seven Ways To Be a Good Ally to Your Fat Lover

Seven Ways To Be a Good Ally to Your Fat Lover | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

This advice applies to folks of all sizes, not just thinner folks partnered (in all the myriad ways one can partner) with fat folks. And a lot of it is good advice for sex in general, regardless of whether or not your partner is fat.


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Red-Blooded Thing: Steak and a BJ!

Red-Blooded Thing: Steak and a BJ! | Sex Positive | Scoop.it

Steaks and blowjobs come to those who deserve them, not because Google Calendar dinged on your phone. Today's holiday, like Valentine's Day, is merely here to remind you what you should be doing the rest of the year to show your fondness for the opposite sex, not the other way around.


Via Gracie Passette
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Curated by Deanna Dahlsad
An opinionated woman obsessed with objects, entertained by ephemera, intrigued by researching, fascinated by culture & addicted to writing. The wind says my name; doesn't put an @ in front of it, so maybe you don't notice. http://www.kitsch-slapped.com
Other Topics
A Marketing Mix
Adventures in advertising and marketing - the contemporary, the historical, and the hysterical. http://deanna.dahlsad.com/
Antiques & Vintage Collectibles
Collecting old things; heirlooms and new to you things! Companion to http://www.inherited-values.com/
Colorful Prism Of Racism
Racism past and present. Companion to http://www.kitsch-slapped.com/category/colorful-prism-of-racism/
Consumption Junction
Consumerism meets marketing; who & what manipulates the free market of goods & services. See also: http://www.kitsch-slapped.com/category/ze-big-mouth-promotions-stuff/
Crimes Against Humanity
From lone gunmen on hills to mass movements. Depressing as hell, really.
Cultural History
The roots of culture; history and pre-history.
Dare To Be A Feminist
I do. http://www.kitsch-slapped.com/category/hey-sister-can-you-spare-some-social-change/
For Art's Sake-1
Art, crafts, and the people who make them. To inspire and purchase. Companion to http://www.ululating-undulating-ungulate.com/
Herstory
History as this woman sees it. The serious, the kitsch, the opinionated. Companion to http://www.kitsch-slapped.com/
In The Name Of God
Mainly acts done in the name of religion, but also discussions of atheism, faith, & spirituality.
Kinsanity
Let's just say I have reasons to learn more about mental health, special needs children, psychology, and the like.
Kitsch
Mostly vintage and retro "badness" but you can decide how delicious it is. http://www.kitschy-kitschy-coo.com/blog/
Nerdy Needs
The stuff of nerdy, geeky, dreams.
Readin', 'Ritin', and (Publishing) 'Rithmetic
The meaning behind the math of the bottom line in publishing and the media. For writers, publishers, and bloggers (which are a combination of the two).
Sex Positive
Sexuality as a human right.
Vintage Living Today For A Future Tomorrow
It's as easy to romanticize the past as it is to demonize it; instead, let's learn from it. More than living simply, more than living 'green', thrifty grandmas knew the importance of the 'economics' in Home Economics. The history of home ec, lessons in thrift, practical tips and ideas from the past focused on sustainability for families and out planet. Companion to http://www.thingsyourgrandmotherknew.com/
Visiting The Past
Travel based on grande ideas, locations, and persons of the past.
Walking On Sunshine
Stuff that makes me smile.
You Call It Obsession & Obscure; I Call It Research & Important
Links to (many of) my columns and articles.