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Mastering Leadership Relationships

Mastering Leadership Relationships | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

People look to leaders when things aren’t working.

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): “You don’t have to go all the way to bright – just make it better today.”

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Lauran Star's curator insight, February 28, 2013 9:57 AM

Leaders who master the tension between tough and tender, master leadership relationships.

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Serving and Leadership
" We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. " - Winston Churchill
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Serving and Leadership on Facebook!

Serving and Leadership on Facebook! | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Articles and Ideas relating to leadership, serving, and culture.
donhornsby's insight:

I have established a companion page to this curation effort on Facebook.  Could you drop by today and 'like' the page?  

The plans include a new blog debuting in October 2014. 

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Anne Egros's comment, April 23, 2013 7:55 AM
Done it Don, thanks for sharing great content
Patricia D. Sadar - Career and Leadership Acceleration Coach's comment, August 15, 2013 7:49 AM
Thank you ....just liked the page Don. Love the elephants :)
Joe Boutte's comment, April 5, 7:40 AM
Great page and thank you for creating it!
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How to Build Your Brand on Social Media

How to Build Your Brand on Social Media | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Building a brand is a lot like raising a child.  As a parent, you make sure your child has a solid foundation from which to grow, so that everyone in your
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): Social media is a powerful vehicle that can create or destroy a reputation in seconds.

It is critical that anyone who engages on social platforms leads with awareness and intention as the impact that your social engagement style has on your reputation is permanent in the digital world.

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donhornsby's curator insight, October 20, 9:42 AM

Social media is a powerful vehicle that can create or destroy a reputation in seconds.

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How to Have a Difficult Conversation

How to Have a Difficult Conversation | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

When I ask leaders why they're not telling people what they need to know, the most consistent response I get is "She or he didn't ask."  How can you have those 'difficult but necessary' conversations?

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Know that your job is not to just develop skills, but develop minds. Ask difficult questions that really make them think. 

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How to Deal with a Mean Colleague

How to Deal with a Mean Colleague | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Don’t be afraid to call out bad behavior.
donhornsby's insight:
Know that most people act aggressively at work because they feel threatenedAsk yourself whether you’re being overly sensitive or misinterpreting the situationCall out the inappropriate behavior in the moment
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Who are the 21st century leaders?

Who are the 21st century leaders? | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

Who are the 21st century leaders in business, finance, politics, government, NGOs, popular culture? 


Via David Hain
donhornsby's insight:

An interesting list. Who would you add (or subtract) from the list? > It’s often said that these are among the worst of times for leadership… it’s also, arguably, the best of times.

 

This list is updated quarterly. Please send your suggestions of other inspiring 21st century leaders.

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5 Things You Should be Doing to Have an Insanely Productive Week

5 Things You Should be Doing to Have an Insanely Productive Week | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Your most important job every day is to make sure your time is not just spent on busy work.
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article) You don't have to say "yes" to every request. 

“The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say “no” to almost everything.” — Warren Buffet.

 

Saying "yes" to a request seem easier than a simple "no". Yet every time you agree to do something for somebody that brings low or no result, it makes it difficult to have a schedule you can really control. You don't want that. You can achieve more if you know what you have to do, when you have to it and what you expect to accomplish. All that can be done in controlled schedule.

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What to Do When Anger Takes Hold

What to Do When Anger Takes Hold | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Managing strong emotions is a necessary skill.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): When we repress our fear or frustration or longing, the feelings get stuck somewhere in our bodies. Then, at some unexpected time with some unsuspecting person, they come out messy and misdirected. We’re left not knowing why we’re so angry, while the other person is left feeling alienated and untrusting. And that’s the best case scenario. The worst case is that the feeling never leaves us and wreaks havoc; we get either physically ill or mentally burned out.

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7 Important Life Lessons Everyone Learns the Hard Way

7 Important Life Lessons Everyone Learns the Hard Way | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Practical Tips for Productive Living

Via John Michel, Amy Melendez
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Nobody in this world is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will.  Sometimes life will beat you to the ground and try to keep you there if you let it.  But it’s not about how hard life can hit you, it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.  That’s what true strength is, and that’s what winning the game of life is all about.

 

When you have a lot to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and take a step forward instead, you are growing stronger.  Work through your struggles and hardships.  Even when it feels like things are falling apart, they’re not.  Take control of your emotions before they take control of you.  Everything will fall into place eventually.  Until then, learn what you can, laugh often, live for the moments, and know that it’s all worthwhile in the end.

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John Michel's curator insight, October 2, 7:50 AM

Be a student of life.  Indulge in it and absorb all the knowledge you can, while you can.  You may have to loose some things to gain some things, and you may have to learn some things the hard way.  That’s OK.  All experiences are necessary.  The purpose of your life is to live it in full, to partake in it to the utmost, to reach out with an open mind and an honest heart for the newest and richest experience being offered.

Amy Melendez's curator insight, October 2, 5:15 PM

"3. Seeking validation from others invalidates YOU.

Has the fear of rejection held you back?  Have you ever been so fearful of what others might think or say about you that it kept you from taking positive action?  I bet you’re shaking your head, “yes.”

It’s time to change your mindset…

Today, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already valuable.

If someone says “no” to you, or if someone says something negative about you, that doesn’t change anything about YOU.  The words and opinions of others have no real bearing on your worth.  Certainly it can be helpful and desirable to make a good impression in certain situations, yet it’s not the end of the world when you are faced with rejection.

It’s great to receive positive feedback, but it simply doesn’t always happen.  That’s OK though, because you know where you’re headed and you know your true worth does not depend on the judgment of others.  When you set out to make a true difference in life, there will be those who disagree with you, those who ignore you, and those who flat out reject your ideas and efforts.  Look beyond them, step confidently forward, do what must be done, and let them think what they will."

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Five Questions I Wish I'd Asked Before Quitting My Job for a Startup

Five Questions I Wish I'd Asked Before Quitting My Job for a Startup | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
My steady corporate job was great on paper--it paid well and let me travel the world, but it was also incredibly taxing and limiting. I didn't want to be a cog in that system. I wanted to run my own business, but I never anticipated the challenges that came with it.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Successful entrepreneurs are not necessarily those who raise millions of investment rounds. Don't forget, they are one in a million.

 

There are, however, thousands of dreamers out there who manage to bootstrap their startups or live so well off on their own, but even they do not make it to the top of tech news.

No matter how much your journey fucks up your life or how difficult it will be, enjoy the ride and keep following your passion.

As Tony Gaskin puts it perfectly:

 

"If you don't build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs." 

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4 Common Vocal Mistakes Leaders Make

4 Common Vocal Mistakes Leaders Make | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Turn down the upspeak, add verbal punctuation and listen. You can command a room like a leader by simply adjusting your tone of voice.

Via Bobby Dillard
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): When preparing for a presentation, think about how you want the listener to feel. Do you want to arouse passion? Express anger? Display gratitude? Tap into that emotion--record yourself giving your speech, then play it back and see if it conveys the emotion you wanted it to. Chances are you’ll find yourself making some of these speech errors.

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18 Ways to Send the Right Message With Body Language

18 Ways to Send the Right Message With Body Language | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Set yourself up for success by using nonverbal communication to your advantage.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): The way you present yourself--especially the way you communicate nonverbally in those first few crucial minutes after meeting someone new--could make or break what could potentially be a very important business relationship.

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Why The Best Leaders View Vulnerability as a Strength

Why The Best Leaders View Vulnerability as a Strength | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

Almost everyone seems to think that being vulnerable is a bad thing – it implies that you’re weak or defenseless. In fact, when someone is willing to admit they’re vulnerable, it demonstrates a level of trust and respect with the person or people they’re opening up to. Great leaders recognize the importance of bringing vulnerability to work because it is the foundation for open and nonjudgmental communications. The boldest act of a leader is to be publicly vulnerable.


Via Roger Francis
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): A leader who shows vulnerability is someone who stops feeling compelled to be the first one with an idea or the first one to answer a question. Becoming vulnerable requires a mindset shift where you start to see the aspirations of the business through the eyes of the people you lead. This invites them to become more involved in – and in fact to become the drivers of – the conversation. When you are vulnerable, your employees feel more connected, invested, respected, and vital to the organization. Everyone benefits.

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Don Cloud's curator insight, September 30, 2:47 PM

Our humanity is the source of our strength.  Just as fear does not define weakness, but rather it is courage in the face of fear that defines true strength.  Similarly, being vulnerable does not define weakness, but rather embracing one's vulnerability defines the strength of a leader.

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Don't Be a "Water Bucket" Leader

Don't Be a "Water Bucket" Leader | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

A “water bucket” leader is someone whose leadership approach can be likened to sticking a hand into a bucket of water and creating a stir by splashing it around. Eventually, the leader pulls their hand out, and when they do, the water quickly returns to it’s original state. It’s as if they never existed. Even though there was a lot of activity, in the end, the bucket of water looks no different than it did before. 



Via george_reed, Ivon Prefontaine, Dean J. Fusto, John Michel, Kenneth Mikkelsen
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): I like these factors because they emphasize behaviors, not traits. We can all incorporate idealized influence, inspirational motivation, intellectual stimulation, and individualized consideration into our commands if we take deliberate steps to do so.  We can all be like my former Sergeant Major or my first Commander if we ask ourselves the following:


What can I do to provide a vision, a sense of mission, and instill pride in my organization?


What can I do to inspire and motivate my organization?


What can I do to foster a command climate that stimulates intellectual growth in my organization?


What can I do to help my subordinates develop to their full potential?


We do not have to walk away from our commands feeling like we just pulled our hands out of a bucket of water. We can make a difference and leave a legacy that will endure long after we are removed from the equation.  Approaching leadership with the goal of being transformational, not only makes the experience more rewarding, it also ensures that the woodpile is a little bit higher on the back end.

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Kenneth Mikkelsen's curator insight, September 27, 4:40 PM

In this blog post Joe Byerly refers to four factors that characterize transformational leadership:


  1. Idealized Influence- Is the emotional component of leadership. Idealized influence describes leaders who act as strong role models for followers; followers identify with these leaders and want to emulate them. These leaders usually have very high standards of moral and ethical conduct and can be counted on to do the right thing. They provide vision, a sense of mission, and instill pride in the organization and the individual.
  2. Inspirational motivation- This factor is descriptive of leaders who communicate high expectations to followers, inspiring them through motivation to become committed to and a part of the shared vision of the organization.
  3. Intellectual stimulation- It includes leadership that stimulates followers to be creative and innovative, challenging their own beliefs and values as well as those of the leader and the organization.
  4. Individualized consideration- This factor is representative of leaders who provide a supportive climate in which they listen carefully to the individual needs of their followers and assists them in developing their own potential. These are leaders who sit down and take the time to develop their subordinates through counseling and coaching.


Anne-Laure Delpech's curator insight, September 28, 3:12 AM

L'image du leader "seau d'eau" est vraiment excellente : il s'agit d'une personne dont l'approche du leadership ressemble à mettre la main dans un seau d'eau et créer des vagues en agitant la main. L'eau revient rapidement à son état original dès que le leader retire sa main ! 

L'auteur nous invite à nous poser 4 questions pour ne pas être un leader "seau d'eau" : 

- Que puis-je faire pour que chacun dans mon organisation  voit vers où on va, ait le sentiment d'avoir une mission et ressente de la fierté ? - Que puis je faire pour inspirer et motiver ?

- Que puis-je faire pour créer une ambiance qui stimule la croissance intellectuelle dans mon équipe ?

- Comment puis-je aider mes subordonnés à développer leur plein potentiel ?

 

Cammie Dunaway's curator insight, September 29, 4:51 PM

A “water bucket” leader is someone whose leadership approach can be likened to sticking a hand into a bucket of water and creating a stir by splashing it around. Eventually, the leader pulls their hand out, and when they do, the water quickly returns to it’s original state. It’s as if they never existed. Even though there was a lot of activity, in the end, the bucket of water looks no different than it did before

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4 Reasons Your Dreams Don’t Come True

4 Reasons Your Dreams Don’t Come True | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

There maybe a reason your dream hasn’t come true. It could be one of these:...

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Maybe you just need some help. Many a dream fails because the dreamer goes it all alone when what he or she needs is just a little help. Do you find it difficult to admit that you need help? Are you afraid to admit that you need others? Are you scared to depend on others? Some mistakenly believe it’s a weakness to admit that they need help. In fact, it’s just the opposite.  It takes great strength to admit that you need the help of others.

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5 Personal Leadership Lessons from Benjamin Franklin

5 Personal Leadership Lessons from Benjamin Franklin | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

Benjamin Franklin was a man who got things done. He was an outstanding example of how leading yourself first helps you contribute to the lives of others.


Via Anne Leong, Amy Melendez, Roy Sheneman, PhD
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): A leader’s daily struggle is to remain focused on our most important things. The challenge is just how do you stay focused on what’s important? Like many of us Benjamin Franklin found it difficult to stay focused. Especially when we’re bombarded every day with an overwhelming number of distracting tasks, external pressures and conflicting priorities.

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Great Leadership: Why Mindfulness is for Leaders and Not Just Monks

Great Leadership: Why Mindfulness is for Leaders and Not Just Monks | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

When you’re a busy leader and you hear about the latest trend like mindfulness, you may immediately think, “ Yeah, right, I don’t have the time or space for that.  I’ve got real world stuff to worry about.  That may be great for monks who have time to meditate for hours a day, but that’s not my life.”


donhornsby's insight:

The good news is you don’t have to meditate for hours on end or take a 90 minute yoga class every day to activate your rest and digest response.  There are simple habits and routines you can learn – I call them Killer Apps and Habit Hacks in my book – that are easy to do and will definitely make a difference in you showing up as the aware and intentional leader you want and need to be.  For example, learning to take three deep breaths from your belly before a big meeting or taking a short walk to energize your body and clear your mind when you’re feeling overworked and overwhelmed can do wonders.  In the book, I share a one page resource called the Life GPS® that will help you identify the routines that enable you to show up at your best and help you create the outcomes you want not just at work but at home and in your community as well.

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5 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Relationship With Your Boss (And Your Next Boss)

5 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Relationship With Your Boss (And Your Next Boss) | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

The most important driver of employee engagement is the relationship they have with their immediate manager.


Via Vicki Kossoff @ The Learning Factor, Jose Luis Anzizar, David Hain
donhornsby's insight:

“A great boss changes your career. Carefully consider your boss and be prepared to take an ‘innovator’ role yourself–it’s not just up to them to reveal themselves it’s up to you to ask the questions.”

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Vicki Kossoff @ The Learning Factor's curator insight, October 19, 7:29 PM

As offices across the country close out a week marked by celebrations of "Boss's Day," now is a great time to consider your relationship with your current boss--could it be improved, or maximized in some way?

David Hain's curator insight, October 20, 3:02 AM

Relationship matters - and relationships do matter!

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A Guide To Co-Leadership: Why It’s Hard, Why It’s Good, And How To Make It Work

A Guide To Co-Leadership: Why It’s Hard, Why It’s Good, And How To Make It Work | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
This post is a brief guide to co-leading. I’ll outline why having co-leaders is hard, why it’s a source of enhanced productivity, creativity, and joy when it works, and some tactics for success. 

I’m going to use the term co-leading throughout. I’m focused primarily on co-CEO relationships, but I think what I write applies equally to co-founders and other collaborative executive structures.

I’m writing primarily from my experience co-founding and subsequently co-CEO’ing HowAboutWe with Brian Schechter, my best friend since childhood. Over about five years, we grew the company to 100 people, and then — this past summer — sold it to IAC. We’re still best friends.

Via David Hain
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Know your own weaknesses. If you are incapable of seeing your weaknesses — and particularly the things you do that are hard for your co-leaders, even if they aren’t categorically counterproductive — then you will end up in a prideful, defensive, unhelpful stance. If you see your weaknesses then you will be able to build a balanced view of the relationship dynamics that will support rapid de-escalation and effective collaboration. Your vulnerability will be fuel. Any time you spend being defensive is time wasted. 

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David Hain's curator insight, October 20, 5:34 AM

"Two can be exponentially more powerful than one."  Thoughtful piec on co-leading from @schidkrout

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7 Powerful Qualities of Servant-Leaders

7 Powerful Qualities of Servant-Leaders | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

Every act of leadership is an act of service. Anything less is exploitation. 

donhornsby's insight:

The leader who serves the most wins.

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Amy Melendez's curator insight, October 3, 11:30 AM

From the article:

People aren’t in organizations to serve leaders. Leaders are in organizations to serve people.

Weak leaders expect service; strong leaders give it.

John Michel's curator insight, October 4, 12:49 AM

Every act of leadership is an act of service. Anything less is exploitation.

Claude Emond's curator insight, October 4, 8:56 AM

This is the way to lead together with people who can self-organize, mainly all humans driven by a common purpose and mutual trust 

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16 of the Best Ways to Work Smarter, Not Harder

16 of the Best Ways to Work Smarter, Not Harder | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

I've collected 16 of the best ways I've found to start working smarter, based on my own experience and research.

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): We tend to ignore our energy levels when planning our work, but it's an important aspect of how productive we can be. When we have energy isn't the same for everyone either—we each have our own built-in body clock called a circadian rhythm.

 

"The circadian rhythm dips and rises at different times of the day," reports the National Sleep Foundation. "Adults' strongest sleep drive generally occurs between 2:00-4:00 a.m. and in the afternoon between 1:00-3:00 p.m., although there is some variation depending on whether you are a 'morning person' or 'evening person'."

 

If you know you're most productive right before lunch, for instance, don't plan meetings or email catch-up time then. Instead, put your hardest work in the time periods when you've got the most energy, and save easy tasks for when you're dragging.

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How Successful People Stay Calm

How Successful People Stay Calm | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. 

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Stress and worry are fueled by our own skewed perception of events. It’s easy to think that unrealistic deadlines, unforgiving bosses, and out-of-control traffic are the reasons we’re so stressed all the time. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them. So before you spend too much time dwelling on something, take a minute to put the situation in perspective. If you aren’t sure when you need to do this, try looking for clues that your anxiety may not be proportional to the stressor. If you’re thinking in broad, sweeping statements such as “Everything is going wrong” or “Nothing will work out,” then you need to reframe the situation. A great way to correct this unproductive thought pattern is to list the specific things that actually are going wrong or not working out. Most likely you will come up with just some things—not everything—and the scope of these stressors will look much more limited than it initially appeared.

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J. Daniel Romo's curator insight, October 4, 3:14 PM

This is the basis of the Equilibrios de Excelencia" book

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The Best Leaders Are Insatiable Learners

The Best Leaders Are Insatiable Learners | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
You have no excuse for being bored.

Via JLAndrianarisoa
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): It takes a real sense of personal commitment, especially after you’ve arrived at a position of power and responsibility, to push yourself to grow and challenge conventional wisdom. Which is why two of the most important questions leaders face are as simple as they are profound: Are you learning, as an organization and as an individual, as fast as the world is changing? Are you as determined to stay interested as to be interesting? Remember, it’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.

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JLAndrianarisoa's curator insight, September 10, 8:20 AM

"it’s what you learn after you know it all that counts." “Hug your firsts”.


Becky Willmoth's curator insight, October 1, 11:30 AM

Leaders who continue to learn by seeking out new experiences are able to anticipate what’s coming and get there before anyone else can.

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12 Powerful Ways To Create A Cohesive Team | LinkedIn

12 Powerful Ways To Create A Cohesive Team | LinkedIn | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it

There’s nothing better to have on your side than a great team—one where work and ideas flow easily, where people support and enjoy each other and are invested in each other’s success.

But great teams don’t come together by magic. It takes a great leader and some powerful ways to create a successful team.

Here’s how to start building this secret weapon for your organization:


Via David Hain
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Hold yourself to the same standards that you expect of others. Set expectations that require everyone to stretch but are not impossible to achieve.

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David Hain's curator insight, October 1, 8:33 AM

Team isights form Lolly Daskal, on the money as usual!

Hervé Odet's curator insight, October 10, 4:55 AM

Bonne lecture, Hervé Odet Cabinet Baud

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Why Selfies Are Degrading Leadership

Why Selfies Are Degrading Leadership | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Selfies show an organization of one. Leaders and followers together make an organization of many.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Leadership and followership go hand in hand, and they result from a focus on goals larger than the Self-ie. The leader today has to go beyond conventional means to coalesce a team. The leader has to illustrate, in graphic terms, the cost of not adhering to the team plan, to the strategy, and then the leader has to incentivize his followers to join in an effort bigger than themselves.


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How to Tell if a Boss Has Your--and Your Company's--Best Interests at Heart

How to Tell if a Boss Has Your--and Your Company's--Best Interests at Heart | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Does your boss have your--and your company's--best interests at heart? Here's how to tell.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Leaders can beneficially exploit this phenomenon to build trust by being out in front of the organization’s decisions, says Kramer, so that when good things happen, people recognize that the leader was in charge of the process, even though he or she might share the credit. "And there’s a little bit of evidence that suggests that when leaders are generous at sharing credit, they actually are more trusted," he says. "It shows that they are fully confident." Likewise, demonstrating confidence by admitting full responsibility when something goes wrong--even if the leader wasn’t fully responsible--can in some cases enhance a leader’s reputation.

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4 Steps To Become More Decisive

4 Steps To Become More Decisive | Serving and Leadership | Scoop.it
Not all of us are born decisive just like not all of us are born gym fanatics. I should know, I’m neither.

Via Barb Jemmott
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Knowing what you want is the single biggest factor which will help you become more decisive. When I work with several stakeholders on a project, the best thing to do when we face an obstacle and a decision needs to be made is to revisit the initial objective.

 

In the same way, you need to figure out what life you want for yourself. You need to sit down with a pen and paper and write and write and write until the answer starts becoming clearer. That’s the way I do it. At first, its really vague statements that come out (e.g. I want to draw but then keep digging, draw what? Write what, for whom). Set aside a time everyday for 3 days. If it’s still not clear, give yourself a break and spend another 3 days the following week at it.



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