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Coaching: It’s All About Hearing the Truth You Don’t Want to Hear

Coaching: It’s All About Hearing the Truth You Don’t Want to Hear | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Recently I was on a panel with a client of mine. We had been coaching for about 12 months when we were invited to talk about our coaching relationship. She started the discussion by saying, “Linda ...

 

Recently I was on a panel with a client of mine. We had been coaching for about 12 months when we were invited to talk about our coaching relationship. She started the discussion by saying, “Linda was my second choice as a coach.” Everyone in the room laughed at this!

 

Then my client continued. “I had interviewed another coach prior to meeting Linda. I loved the other coach. There was great chemistry. During the interview with Linda, she made me very angry. It was on a Friday, and I was angry all weekend. I was stewing because I knew that the first coach would become a good friend, and that Linda would help me get where I wanted to go.”

 

This is not the first time this situation has occurred. I remember another interview several years ago.

 

That gentleman was so angry that he said he didn’t even want referrals from me to other coaches. He’d find them himself! Several weeks later, he contacted me again and said, “I’ve interviewed 4 other coaches, and the voice I keep hearing in my head is yours. You told me the truth I didn’t want to hear.”

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Surviving Leadership Chaos
" We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. " - Winston Churchill
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Serving and Leadership on Facebook!

Serving and Leadership on Facebook! | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Articles and Ideas relating to leadership, serving, and culture.
donhornsby's insight:

I have established a companion page to this curation effort on Facebook.  Could you drop by today and 'like' the page?  

The plans include a new blog debuting in 2015.

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Anne Egros's comment, April 23, 2013 7:55 AM
Done it Don, thanks for sharing great content
Patricia D. Sadar - Leadership Strength Coach's comment, August 15, 2013 7:49 AM
Thank you ....just liked the page Don. Love the elephants :)
Joe Boutte's comment, April 5, 2014 7:40 AM
Great page and thank you for creating it!
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The Power Of A Verbal "Thank You"

The Power Of A Verbal "Thank You" | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Your words of recognition and appreciation delivered face-to-face with your employees will be compelling, effective, meaningful and memorable.

donhornsby's insight:

Don't underestimate the power of a verbal "thank you" for a job well done!

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5 Ways Reading Makes You a Better Leader

5 Ways Reading Makes You a Better Leader | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Readers are likely to be leaders. And with reading in decline, readers possess a comparative advantage in today’s business and political environments. How?

donhornsby's insight:

We need to be "readers" if we intend to be "leaders". Hyatt's article addresses the need for leaders to be filling their mind with good content. I especially thought the point about reading helping us to think was helpful.

 

(From the article): Reading is one of the most efficient ways to acquire information, and leaders need a lot of general information to keep perspective and seize opportunities. But reading does more than give us a toolbox of ideas. It actually upgrades our analytical tools, especially our judgment and problem-solving abilities.


Research by Anne E. Cunningham compared the general knowledge of readers and television watchers. The readers not only knew more, but they were also better at deciphering misinformation. In other words, reading improved their judgment.

Correctly sizing up a situation—often with incomplete information and limited time—is critical for being an effective leader. I have strong natural intuition, but I’m convinced that my reading has sharpened my edge when it comes to judgment.

These improved analytic tools also help us see patterns and make connections between seemingly random information. We’re not only improving our judgment, we’re also boosting our problem-solving abilities.

 

I’m always surprised when I’m working on an issue and some out-of-left-field analogy comes to mind from something I’ve read that helps me put all the pieces together. Wesley Hill even recommends what he calls “irrelevant reading,” going outside your field to spark new thoughts and make fresh connections.

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Sandeep Gautam's curator insight, May 4, 9:18 AM

Being a voracious reader that I am, hope its honing my leadership skills too:-)

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Self Promotion Is A Leadership Skill

Self Promotion Is A Leadership Skill | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
It is important to see that self-promotion is a leadership skill. It is your responsibility to talk about what you and your team have achieved, not only for your own benefit, but also for the team and the company. It’s how to create influence. It’s how you sell your ideas across the organization. It’s the basis of building relationships with key stakeholders and gaining access to the power networks.
donhornsby's insight:

Self-promotion is a leadership and political skill that is critical to master in order to navigate the realities of the workplace and position you for success.

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John Thurlbeck, FCMI FRSA's curator insight, April 30, 3:56 PM

If you get a chance to read her book or, better still, hear a podcast by Bonnie Marcus, take it! You will not be disappointed!

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Break your leaders’ bad habits in five steps

Break your leaders’ bad habits in five steps | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Stuck in a leadership rut? Melody Moore, consultant at Hay Group, shares how psychology and technology can help your leaders break bad habits

donhornsby's insight:

We can all fall into leadership ruts and bad habits in our work. This article contains some thoughtful suggestions on how to break through. 

 

(From the article): Even the very best leadership development programs will only achieve measurable results if they alter day-to-day habits. This is difficult to do by relying solely on leaders to find the time to make the changes themselves or by putting the onus on HR to check in with leaders frequently to ensure they are making progress.  But combining psychology and technology can drive revolutionary new ways to develop better leaders, equipping them to work on changing their behaviours and improving their impact – any time, any place and over any device.

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Growing Yourself, Your Team, and Your Business

Growing Yourself, Your Team, and Your Business | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
How to achieve personal, team, and business growth.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): It could be that you are happy with where you are and see no need to change or grow. That’s okay—just remember that markets and businesses change and what worked in the past might not work in the future. If you want different results, you have to take different actions. Start by working with outsiders to help you see where you are stuck. Challenge and work with your team to raise the game for everyone. Get off site with your team once a quarter to look at the true facts of what is working and what is not, coming up with a 3-5 year vision, while staying on track to your one-year goals. Focusing on these three things will get you unstuck and on the path of high growth.

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Is Working Remotely Sapping Your Creativity?

Is Working Remotely Sapping Your Creativity? | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Proponents of virtual work certainly make a great pitch: no traffic, no hassles, no shoes. And the trend is certainly taking hold. The number of people telecommuting rose 79% between 2005 and 2012. But while life without a commute or dress code sounds appealing, are we forfeiting our ability to be creative for a few superficial benefits?
donhornsby's insight:

Are you a remote worker?  Do you think that working remotely actually decreases your ability to be creative?

 

(From the article): Thankfully, employers with distributed teams, as well as freelancers, are thinking more and more about how to combine the flexibility of virtual work with the face-to-face interaction of a more traditional office. The solution is increasingly to have virtual teams work out of co-working spaces and social office locations around the country, allowing workers to base themselves where they need to be based, but still have meaningful social interactions throughout the day. In one survey of people who worked in co-working locations, 92% reported an increase in the size of their social circle since joining, while 80% reported an increase in the size of their business network. And most of all, because they are moving around more, surrounded by and interacting with other people, they’ll likely find themselves happier, healthier, and more creative.

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11 Steps to Be Authentic & Not Scare People Away

11 Steps to Be Authentic & Not Scare People Away | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

To be authentic you must balance your needs w/ others. Else it's not authentic, it's obnoxious. Here's how...

donhornsby's insight:

Kate Nasser often has excellent material of how to work with others in an authentic manner. This post is no exception.

 

(From the article): Who are you? Write a description of the authentic you. Include how you want to be treated. Write down some examples of when you find it difficult to be authentic and still consider others’ needs. Now re-read the list above. How can you apply the eleven steps to those moments?


You will be able to balance your needs with others. You will see that it doesn’t reduce your authenticity. It attracts people to it!.

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Forget the Vision, Make the Connections

Forget the Vision, Make the Connections | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

New leaders don’t spend nearly enough time and effort being intentional about how they show up and how they spend their own time. The effort they devote to forming meaningful connections with the people in the organization is almost an afterthought.


Via Kenneth Mikkelsen, David Hain
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): How can you be more intentional? Hall frames intentionality in her own work in eight words that guide each of her interactions: “I want it to matter that we met.” And it should matter for both her and the person she is meeting. There is an implied flexibility in the time horizon; it may matter immediately or several years down the road. Challenge yourself: “I want it to matter that I hold this position,” or “I want it to matter that I am your boss.” How does this affect how you will show up to deliver short-term results and create long-term impact?

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Kenneth Mikkelsen's curator insight, April 22, 2:31 AM

Executives in transition often spend too little time on what matters most: building relationships. Making effective personal connections requires persistent introspection and intention.



David Hain's curator insight, April 27, 9:49 AM

So true, Kenneth! I'm working with an organisation just now where connecting is exactly what is required for a better future, yet what happens is the meet all the time, till they are begging for respite, and all they talk about is tasks and transactions!

Mahmoud Khalifa's curator insight, April 29, 7:15 AM

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5 Steps To Create A Winning Day

5 Steps To Create A Winning Day | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

The way that you spend the first 15 or 30 minutes of your day can determine a lot about how you SEE or FUNCTION for the rest of the day.

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Some people like to warm up to their day. That’s not a bad technique. But, your higher energy time thrives on accomplishments. What big thing can you complete this morning? What calls can you make that will convert a prospect to a client RIGHT NOW? What project can you complete quickly that will send those endorphins moving through your body? Get a BIG WIN as early as you can in your day and then look for more.

 

Stay in action the rest of the day and give it your best. Then, begin your NEXT day just before you go to sleep. Follow your success routine regularly and watch yourself create some winning momentum.

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Slow Down … Open Yourself Up to Inspiration

Slow Down … Open Yourself Up to Inspiration | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
By devoting more attention to the moment itself, you will notice many incredible things. Enjoy the actual experience and see where it takes you..

Via Peter Verschuere
donhornsby's insight:

Great advice of how to be more creative! > Here are a few ideas to break from the grind and find a bit of creative inspiration.

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SageRave's curator insight, April 24, 11:14 AM

Don't undervalue your free time!

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To be a great leader, rethink your default behaviors

To be a great leader, rethink your default behaviors | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Lessons learned from my year working with IDEO’s CEO Tim Brown. Here are of five of Tim’s default behaviors that you might consider adopting.


Via Richard Andrews, Roger Francis
donhornsby's insight:

A great read. Please take the time to read this today...



(From the article): When it comes to leadership, humility is often perceived as weakness. That couldn’t be further from the truth. There are many ways to express humility — you might welcome feedback, admit mistakes, or simply treat others as equals. Your employees will view those as signs of strength, not weakness.

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Ivon Prefontaine's curator insight, April 22, 9:19 PM

I worked for a principal who presented about IDEO as being what we needed for creativity amongst teachers. He rarely acted with humility, if ever. That would be a good starting point for each of us.

 

@ivon_ehd1

Ian Berry's curator insight, April 24, 1:06 AM

a good 5 actions all the great leaders/change champions do

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Regular Exercise Is Part of Your Job

Regular Exercise Is Part of Your Job | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Our mental firepower is directly linked to our physical regimen.
donhornsby's insight:

What are you doing about your physical health?  As a leader, it is important that you are healthy - and considering regular exercise as part of your job is important.

 

(From the article): Instead of viewing exercise as something we do for ourselves—a personal indulgence that takes us away from our work—it’s time we started considering physical activity as part of the work itself. The alternative, which involves processing information more slowly, forgetting more often, and getting easily frustrated, makes us less effective at our jobs and harder to get along with for our colleagues.

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7 Personality Traits of a Great Leader

7 Personality Traits of a Great Leader | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself.

donhornsby's insight:

What’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here’s how:...

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3 Benefits of Having an Online Business

3 Benefits of Having an Online Business | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Have you considered opening an online business or moving your current business online? Now is the time to do it! Here are three benefits of having an online business to help you make the leap:

donhornsby's insight:

If you’ve ever been afraid to start a business, I encourage you to start your business online! It’s quick, easy, and profitable. All you need is passion, motivation, and dedication.

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15 words you should eliminate from your vocabulary to sound smarter

15 words you should eliminate from your vocabulary to sound smarter | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Here's a list of words you should eliminate from your vocabulary to sound smarter.
donhornsby's insight:

Did you know that the words that you are use can undermine your effectiveness as a leader? Here are few that you need to eliminate immediately.

 

(From the article): People don't have the time or the attention span to read any more words than necessary. You want your readers to hear you out, understand your message, and perhaps be entertained, right? Here's a list of words to eliminate to help you write more succinctly.

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How to Stand Out and Be a Thought Leader

How to Stand Out and Be a Thought Leader | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

How many of you have huge visions for what you want to create in the world, but don’t see how to make them happen?

donhornsby's insight:
How can you STAND OUT and be a thought leader?  This is a great interview with Dorie Clark.(From the article): In This Episode, You Will Learn:

- How you sculpt yourself into the kind of person that is worth paying attention to

- How to get started with standing out:

- make something worth being talked about

-  get the world excited about it

- Combine disciplines from different fields – this makes possibilities present themselves

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To Weather Criticism, It Helps To Think Of The Big Picture

To Weather Criticism, It Helps To Think Of The Big Picture | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Negative feedback is supposed to be good for us, but it sure doesn't feel so good. Shifting the context by thinking more broadly helps blunt the sting, a study found. So does embracing change.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): A growing body of research suggests that taking a broad perspective helps people deal with perceived threats, Molden notes.

 

When you're on the receiving end of criticism, Molden's advice is to take a few minutes to think about your long-term goals. And to think about how criticism is simply a part of life.

I can tell you, as someone in academia, I deal with negative feedback all the time," Molden says. "I've been doing this for 15 years. And every time I submit a research paper to a journal, it invariably comes back with tons of edits and feedback. And every time, it's easy to feel disappointed or even angry."

Molden says he copes by letting himself feel frustrated for a few minutes. "And then I step back and reflect on how this feedback could be beneficial."

 

 

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SageRave's curator insight, April 29, 6:43 PM

A good read for those of us who refuse to develop that "thick skin", that might making us impervious to criticism...and empathy.

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How to Plan Your Week to Keep Your Weekend Free

How to Plan Your Week to Keep Your Weekend Free | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Don’t wait until Friday to think about it.
donhornsby's insight:

Work is life. But you need to plan your week in order to take the time for recreation and healing during the weekend. Here are some great suggestions on how you can accomplish that...

 

(From the article): If you want to experience the benefits of weekend time off, you must smartly invest your time during the week. Waiting until Friday to assess if you’ll have to work Saturday and Sunday will only set you up for another frantic weekend. Plan your time off by following some simple tips at the start of your week.

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The Importance Of Setting Goals | My Own Coach

The Importance Of Setting Goals | My Own Coach | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
The most important thing about goals is having one! We all know that to stand a chance of success, we should be setting goals, but how many do you achieve?
donhornsby's insight:

To stand any chance of success, we should be setting goals that are well formed, perhaps using one of the many tests we have learned over the years such as S-M-A-R-T.

 

But, the trouble with these tests is that they have become too familiar and people assume the criterion has been satisfied – rather like the bad habits we all get after years of driving!

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17 Action Steps to Take During Hard Times

17 Action Steps to Take During Hard Times | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
It’s one thing to have a bad day yet quite another to fall on hard times. These are the times that shape character and show what you’re made of.
donhornsby's insight:

(From the article):  Make sure to learn from the experience. You may have to apply this lesson another day. One thing this teaches us is that life is filled with “ups and downs,” so make the most of the “in-betweens.”

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What’s the Difference Between Executive Presence and Leadership Presence?

What’s the Difference Between Executive Presence and Leadership Presence? | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Depending on the situation, executive presence can be a subset of leadership presence. 

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): If you’re too polished and too slick, you create distance. And the judgment on too polished and slick is in the eyes of the beholders. Because almost every leader is operating in a global context today (social media and web conferencing makes that the case even if you never leave your hometown), executive presence doesn’t travel like it used to.

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A Leadership Blog: How a Lean CEO Thinks and Why You Should Too

A Leadership Blog: How a Lean CEO Thinks and Why You Should Too | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Lean organizations outperform non-Lean organizations for two basic reasons. Here's how you can be a Lean leader.

donhornsby's insight:

(From the article): Lean creates the ideal environment for motivating workers. Recognition, variety, autonomy, and the opportunity to learn are all intrinsic to the employee’s role in a culture of continuous improvement. 

Productivity was not about more effort and being more tired at the end of the day. It was about working together to create the conditions to be more productive. 

Leaving a person to sink or swim violates what may be the most important pillar of Lean: respect for people. 

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3 Surprising Ways to Succeed in Self-Leadership

3 Surprising Ways to Succeed in Self-Leadership | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
It’s ironic that successful self-leadership has more to do with others and less to do with self.
donhornsby's insight:

The truth is that we do need others. It is important to connect with others who can help us be better leaders and persons. Connection makes us healthier, happier and more productive. It helps us grow in competence and character.

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Roy Sheneman, PhD's curator insight, April 24, 1:30 PM

Interesting pint of view...

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Avoid the Stress of Over-Scheduling with 10 Smart Google Calendar Tips

Avoid the Stress of Over-Scheduling with 10 Smart Google Calendar Tips | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Google Calendar can be a really useful tool in keeping your life organized, but it doesn't do you any good when it fills up and leaves you stressed. Here are 10 tips that help you use Google Calendar to keep your schedule in check.


Via Tom D'Amico (@TDOttawa) , Roger Francis
donhornsby's insight:

I have been using Outlook for many years but feel the need to move to another calendar platform. Here's a great article on how to effectively use Google Calendar. What do you use to schedule your day?

 

(From the article): Reminding yourself to stop and take a breath every once in a while is a great use of Google Calendar. It could be a single reminder to practice being grateful for a few minutes, a short block of time for journalling, a daily meditation slot, or any other sort of relaxation practice, even for just a couple minutes.

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Do you connect with the many generations you share?

Do you connect with the many generations you share? | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Do you connect with many generations with what you share? What's the secret of connecting to my generation? How to connect with your multigenerational team!

donhornsby's insight:

It is more important today to connect with the many generations found in the office or workplace. Do you know how to connect with them?  Can you lead them? 

 

(From the article): If you really want to reach an audience across generations, though, follow these rules:

Be friendly but not slangy. Nothing changes faster than slang. Using today’s expressions if they don’t come naturally to you may sound condescending now, dated later. And if you do use an expression like “on fleek,” remember that I might not know what it means!Be tolerant of differences. According to some people, using two spaces between sentences is a mannerism that should have gone out in the trash with the eight-track cassettes. For others, it’s the only way to write. People, can’t we all get along?Don’t assume that your target audience will pick up the same references that you do. Or you may just be talking to your generation.

 

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