Surviving Leadership Chaos
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Coaching: It’s All About Hearing the Truth You Don’t Want to Hear

Coaching: It’s All About Hearing the Truth You Don’t Want to Hear | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Recently I was on a panel with a client of mine. We had been coaching for about 12 months when we were invited to talk about our coaching relationship. She started the discussion by saying, “Linda ...

 

Recently I was on a panel with a client of mine. We had been coaching for about 12 months when we were invited to talk about our coaching relationship. She started the discussion by saying, “Linda was my second choice as a coach.” Everyone in the room laughed at this!

 

Then my client continued. “I had interviewed another coach prior to meeting Linda. I loved the other coach. There was great chemistry. During the interview with Linda, she made me very angry. It was on a Friday, and I was angry all weekend. I was stewing because I knew that the first coach would become a good friend, and that Linda would help me get where I wanted to go.”

 

This is not the first time this situation has occurred. I remember another interview several years ago.

 

That gentleman was so angry that he said he didn’t even want referrals from me to other coaches. He’d find them himself! Several weeks later, he contacted me again and said, “I’ve interviewed 4 other coaches, and the voice I keep hearing in my head is yours. You told me the truth I didn’t want to hear.”

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Surviving Leadership Chaos
" We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. " - Winston Churchill
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Serving and Leadership on Facebook!

Serving and Leadership on Facebook! | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Articles and Ideas relating to leadership, serving, and culture.
donhornsby's insight:

I have established a companion page to this curation effort on Facebook.  Could you drop by today and 'like' the page?  

The plans include a new blog debuting in 2016.

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Cruise Line Class's comment, August 15, 2013 7:49 AM
Thank you ....just liked the page Don. Love the elephants :)
Joe Boutte's comment, April 5, 2014 7:40 AM
Great page and thank you for creating it!
Marc Wachtfogel, Ph.D.'s curator insight, August 5, 2015 2:48 PM

I have established a companion page to this curation effort on Facebook.  Could you drop by today and 'like' the page?  

The plans include a new blog debuting in 2015.

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What's the Absolute Worst Thing You Can Do As a Leader?

What's the Absolute Worst Thing You Can Do As a Leader? | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
People expect leaders to make good decisions but what happens when they make a bad call? Often, the answer is the worst thing you can do as a leader.
donhornsby's insight:
Not every decision is a good one. That’s the truth for every single one of us. However, the worst decision is thinking your original decision is do-or-die. Come on, there is always another way forward. Dig deep into your humility, take a deep breath, and be the leader you’re meant to be.
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The Naked Truth: How to Uncover an Insecure Leader

The Naked Truth: How to Uncover an Insecure Leader | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Our insecurities can kill our confidence and competence. Learn how to recognize them within yourself, so you can eliminate them.

Via Amy Melendez, Roy Sheneman, PhD
donhornsby's insight:
We all have tendencies toward insecurity from time to time. But making sure you don't give in to damaging behavior born of insecurity will make you a far better leader, boss, and person.
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Helen Teague's curator insight, September 24, 8:58 AM
I have not seen much treatment of this subject...
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A 3 Step System to Come Out Smarter After Failure

A 3 Step System to Come Out Smarter After Failure | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

A 3 step system to come out smarter after failure...

donhornsby's insight:
Admitting failure only means that you must develop a plan for analyzing, accepting and moving on from the mistakes, Dan Rockwell writes. "Address failure from a positive orientation, even when facing negative consequences," he writes. 
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How to Know You Have to Change as a Leader

How to Know You Have to Change as a Leader | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

It’s your job to model the way forward.


Via Marc Wachtfogel, Ph.D., Nicolas Moritel, Roy Sheneman, PhD
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): To ensure you are making progress, set aside time to check in with yourself, and ask a series of questions. When you look at the team, is it changing? Does the composition of your team reflect the composition of your customer base? Are you spending time with people who are less like you? Are your team members engaged? Are you retaining diverse team members? When you have open positions, are you attracting a diverse candidate pool? Do you have an inclusive environment? If you can answer “yes” to these questions, then you know you’ve successfully built a diverse workforce. I look forward to the day when diversity in the workplace is not a problem to be solved, but something that just is.
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30 Powerful Habits That Encourage Happiness and Mental Strength

30 Powerful Habits That Encourage Happiness and Mental Strength | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Practice any one of these and you'll notice a difference within 90 days.
Via Ariana Amorim, Bobby Dillard, Maite Finch, Ricard Lloria
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): So all these are aspects of people who got their lives together. You don't do them all at once. In my forty years of being a professional therapist, especially in addictions, I've never had a success with making a change and quitting nicotine at the same time. It's too hard. I've gotten people off heroin, cocaine, meth, marijuana, alcohol, and overeating but not if they've tried to quit smoking at the same time. Pick your battles. Pick one to commit to and start. Get your routine established and practice every day. Post them so you can see your progress. You don't have to complete each one before starting on another, but don't overload yourself. Each of these have nuances that get discovered along the way. Every person has to customize the particular events to their specific learning style and willingness to work the program. Some will be more powerful than others, but all have caused relief for certain aspects of dysfunctional life styles. One thing is for sure: if you start doing them, you'll be a happier person. And from there your life will have depth and meaning.
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Sandip Roy's curator insight, September 9, 2:18 AM
Practice any one of these and you'll notice a difference within 90 days. #Happiness
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10 Things People Who Are Mentally Tough Do

10 Things People Who Are Mentally Tough Do | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Mental strength involves more than just having willpower. It requires the habits of hard work and commitment.
donhornsby's insight:
Mentally tough people are the determined ones, the ones you put your money on to succeed. Start today to build the habits that will put you among them.
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Leaders are careful with their use of anger.

Leaders are careful with their use of anger. | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. - Ralph Waldo Emerson 
donhornsby's insight:
Be careful with your anger today. Don't waste your time.
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Christine Lee's curator insight, September 3, 6:51 AM
Remaining angry comes at a cost to your mental health.
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The Importance Of Listening 

The Importance Of Listening  | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Listening builds trust, the foundation of all lasting relationships. – Brian Tracy 
donhornsby's insight:
Listening builds trust, the foundation of all lasting relationships. – Brian Tracy  Take the time to listen to others today!
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Joe Boutte's comment, September 2, 12:37 PM
Listening is so underrated and overlooked by those who need it the most. Thanks for highlighting this article and reminding us of this key leadership trait and gift.
Joe Boutte's curator insight, September 2, 12:39 PM
Everyday leaders know the importance of listening and spend more time listening than talking.  Listening builds understanding, wisdom, and lasting relationships.
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Whacking The CEO: The Bold New Dance Between The C-Suite And The Board

Whacking The CEO: The Bold New Dance Between The C-Suite And The Board | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

Most people attribute the change in corporate governance dynamics to a fixation on short-term financial performance. I believe it’s deeper and more meaningful than dollars. Boards are shifting their thinking around how their executives engage and inspire their workforces in order to lead a never-ending series of course corrections and frontline change initiatives. 


 The core issue is trust. And trust is an endless dance.

donhornsby's insight:
But if you’re a leader who wants to influence with integrity long-term, you can’t afford to leave trust to chance. Trust is a fragile, often fleeting state. And so is your credibility as a solid leader. Dance with purpose.
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Great Leaders Ask the Right Questions

Great Leaders Ask the Right Questions | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

I believe successful leaders understand that asking questions – and listening with intention – is the best way to manage and lead.

donhornsby's insight:
What’s not so easy is being vulnerable enough to listen to the answers to these questions. This is what separates leaders from the rest. A true leader knows that honest answers can motivate staff (and self!) as well as avoid potential pitfalls. The road to success is paved with the information gained from just asking the right questions. And listening. And then implementing.
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How to navigate your career with intent

How to navigate your career with intent | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

By developing an individualized career plan and following through with it, you'll be better prepared to move into leadership positions in the future. 

donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): If you aspire to senior leadership, start by demonstrating that you’re a leader. Map your path and build and maintain relationships with senior managers by clearly articulating your goals and consistently delivering results. And rely on your mentors and sponsors to point you towards growth opportunities, even if they’re not exactly the ones you had in mind. The road to senior leadership can be challenging, but you can set yourself up for success by zeroing in on your goals, making them known to your organization and surrounding yourself with supportive senior leaders.
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How to support honest communication

How to support honest communication | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

The words leaders most need to hear are least likely to be said.

donhornsby's insight:
How might leaders lower barriers and build authentic connections with team members?
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3 Keys to Ensuring You Make a Difference In Speaking Up

3 Keys to Ensuring You Make a Difference In Speaking Up | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Here are 3 keys to ensuring you will not only be heard as you speak up, but also make the difference you intend to make as a leader.
donhornsby's insight:
Sure, speaking up may be risky. It may require courage to face your fear or step out of your comfort zone. But don’t let that stop you. We need you to lead!
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The Truth About Leadership 

The Truth About Leadership  | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Everyone seems to be talking about leadership these days. So, what is leadership really?
donhornsby's insight:
“Leaders become great, not because of their power, but because of their ability to empower others.“ - John Maxwell
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How to Become a C.E.O.? The Quickest Path Is a Winding One

How to Become a C.E.O.? The Quickest Path Is a Winding One | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
New evidence shows that a mix of skills, especially technology skills, counts more than simply long experience in one specialty.
donhornsby's insight:
In other words, the path to the executive suite may be long and winding, and include stops in many different types of specialties. But the key to navigating it is being able to learn from others all along the way.
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4 Important Leadership Lessons From The Final Frontier

4 Important Leadership Lessons From The Final Frontier | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
In honour of the 50th anniversary of Star Trek, here are 4 important leadership lessons we can learn from the crew of the Starship Enterprise.
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): It’s my hope that in writing this piece as my way to celebrate Star Trek’s 50th anniversary that – whether you’re a fan like me or not – you can better appreciate what’s behind the longevity of this franchise and hopefully, the lessons we can find therein on how we can be the kind of leader our employees need us to be so that they can succeed and thrive under our care.
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This high-powered CEO has an intense workout regimen that fuels his success

This high-powered CEO has an intense workout regimen that fuels his success | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
He works out up to 12 times a week.
donhornsby's insight:
Strauss Zelnick is a father, husband and media mogul who, at 59, somehow finds the time to stay in incredible shape. That's because he treats fitness with the same sense of priority that he gives business meetings and time with his family.
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9 Things Ridiculously Productive People Do Every Day

9 Things Ridiculously Productive People Do Every Day | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Ridiculously productive people don't succeed by accident.
donhornsby's insight:
Is is time to be ridiculous?

(From the article): What I’m saying is, ridiculously productive people don’t get there by accident. They act purposefully in the way that they work in order to maximize every minute of every day. Try some of these habits of ridiculously productive people on for size, and I’m confident you’ll see your productivity soar.
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What to Do When People Don’t Support Your Next Career Move

What to Do When People Don’t Support Your Next Career Move | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

You’ve weighed the pros and cons and carefully assessed the impact. After in-depth consideration, you’ve decided to accept that new job, or launch your own business, or take time off to be with your children. You know it’s the right choice — but your boss, friends, and colleagues aren’t convinced. What should you do when people you respect disagree with your decisions?

donhornsby's insight:
Another gem from Dorie Clark - 

It’d be ideal if everyone in your life supported all your decisions, but that’s unlikely to happen. Yet you’re far more likely to face occasional resistance from those who genuinely believe they have your best interests at heart. By taking the time to understand their motivations and concerns, showing them exactly how you’re mitigating risks, and making it clear how important this decision is to you, you’re likely to gain at least their respect — if not their support, too.
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3 Ways to Prepare for Leading a New Team

3 Ways to Prepare for Leading a New Team | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
Have you had a recent promotion or taken on a new assignment? Joni Wickline shares what she's learned about leading a new team.
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article) - Commitment to growth. Growth comes in many forms, including identifying what’s not working, trying on new behaviors, committing to change, and then setting up both the direction and support for doing it all. Through coaching, I was able to practice new behaviors that had been outside of my comfort zone or different from what my typical style would be. I also have continued to seek guidance from people on the Asia team to get their input on how I can best serve them and their colleagues throughout the region. I know my growth in the next year will put me leaps ahead of where I am today. It’s exciting to think about how much more equipped I will be to serve the region and the team. In the meantime, I am on a steep learning curve—but one that is backed with a commitment to serve, which will help me make incremental changes that will eventually feel normal and comfortable. How open are you to growth and change?
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3 Habits You Need to Crush to Be Successful

3 Habits You Need to Crush to Be Successful | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
There are habits that make us successful and there are habits that sabotage our success.
donhornsby's insight:
Bottom line: Success comes to those who are believe in themselves, following through and who are honest with themselves.
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Leadership - The Trust Glue  

Leadership - The Trust Glue   | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it

In he film “Twelve Angry Men” the jury is sent to a small room to deliberate. Before any formal discussion, they cast a vote. Eleven of the jurors vote “guilty.” Only one juror votes “not guilty.” After conclusion of deliberations, all the jurors vote “not guilty”.  Does the juror who was the only one to vote not guilty at the start be said to have leadership qualities?  Let us see what really leadership is?


Via Roger Francis, Kevin Watson, Roy Sheneman, PhD
donhornsby's insight:
Trust is defined as “assured resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship, or other sound principle, of another person; confidence; reliance”.
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15 Daily Habits That Will Help You Get a Raise

15 Daily Habits That Will Help You Get a Raise | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
If you bring more value to your job the boss is going to see that you are worth more money.
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): Everyone can use a pay increase. While these tips won’t guarantee an immediate raise, they will help you build a long-term career with a company, complete with promotions and positive recognition. The goal is to create beneficial habits that will elevate you over the long term. In some instances, that may be even more gratifying than the extra money that comes with a raise.
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How to Tame Your Negative Talk in Your Mind

How to Tame Your Negative Talk in Your Mind | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
What you tell yourself every day will either lift you up or tear you down.
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): In short, there are exactly two things that can prevent us from positivity and happiness: living in the past and treating ourselves negatively. Don't be guilty of either, learn to tame your negative thoughts so you think about a positive future.
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How Leaders Can Help Others Influence Them

How Leaders Can Help Others Influence Them | Surviving Leadership Chaos | Scoop.it
It’s a missing part of the leadership puzzle.
donhornsby's insight:
(From the article): Most leadership ideologies seem to focus on how leaders can influence others without spending enough time on the right ways to be influenced by others and be open to other perspectives. "Unless you are genuinely open to being influenced by others, any leadership approach you use that relies on your team's collective knowledge is likely to fail," Roger Schwarz writes.
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