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The latest news, articles, videos, books, posts about Self-Empathy and Self-Compassion - CultureOfEmpathy.com
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Finding Your Own Rhythm at Work through Self-Compassion

Finding Your Own Rhythm at Work through Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Most of what I am about to tell you is contrary to what you might have been taught or have come to believe in. I have to share this with you because it's just too good not to and because it's something that we need to place more emphasis on.

 

All you "need" is a practice of self-compassion.

Dr. Kristin Neff spoke brilliantly at the Stanford University CCARE, Business and Compassion Conference. She addressed how our global evaluation of self-worth breeds an internal negative dialogue of, 'Am I good enough?' She says that this sets us up for social comparison and nasty social dynamics. It breeds the idea that we need to be "special" or "above average" in order to be acceptable -- not to mention what it's done to further instill narcissism, which appears to be on the rise.

 

And what happens when we fail? This concept of self-esteem is contingent upon our success. We are "not allowed" to fail. Well, I'm here to share with you that it doesn't have to be this way...

Paula Pyne

Founder of Uplift Consulting

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Self-compassion battles homesickness

Self-compassion battles homesickness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

The lack of self-compassion could be a contributing factor in the development of homesickness, according to a recent study.

 

Self-compassion is defined in the study as "the degree to which people treat themselves kindly during distressing situations." The study found that having self-compassion could potentially help many new college students adapt to campus life, thereby improving their overall college experience.

 

By Zarah Udwadia | 

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Kristin Neff: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff, Ph.D., is an associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas, Austin, and the author of the book "Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind" (William Morrow, 2011). 

This talk is from the "Practicing Mindfulness & Compassion" conference on March 8, 2013. The Greater Good Science Center co-hosted this conference with Mindful magazine.

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Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness

Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Do you treat yourself gently? Do you acknowledge the sources of distress in your life? Learn self-compassion and begin to heal.

 

This article is the third in a series that aims to look at the concept and development of self-compassion. We’ve defined compassion as a tenderhearted recognition of pain or distress, coupled with a desire to alleviate it. The first article looked at the concept of compassion as a whole while the second explored growing compassion through recognizing limits. This article will look at the first part of our definition of compassion: having tenderheartedness toward your distress.

 

The type of tenderheartedness that is integral to compassion is more than a soft emotion: it is a relational stance.

 

by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

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Why Self-Compassion Helps You Meet Life's Challenges

Why Self-Compassion Helps You Meet Life's Challenges | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Do you regularly try to motivate yourself with self-criticism and mental projections about all the bad things that will happen to you if you don’t get it together? While this approach may create that extra surge of adrenaline to meet your work deadline, cold call the next potential client, get to the gym, or get your house cleaned before the in-laws visit, it comes at a cost. You end up feeling bad about yourself a lot of the time. 

 

You get into constant “fight or flight” mode, trying to avoid the negative imagined consequences, which messes with your cortisol and other stress hormones. You get overwhelmed, and decide to zone out playing video games or posting mindlessly on social media, or you rebel and eat, drink, or spend too much, thus creating more self-disgust. If this sounds familiar, perhaps you need a healthy dose of self-compassion.

 

by Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D.

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Barbara Kerr's curator insight, October 6, 2013 4:20 PM

Having compassion for yourself is a necessary step not only for your own well-being but also for those you care for..

Glori R Zeltzer, MFT's curator insight, October 18, 2013 1:34 PM

When we show ourselves love, we blossom, just as children and our gardens do.

Electrovista's curator insight, December 4, 2013 6:15 AM

From the author: "...you need a healthy dose of self-compassion."

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Mindful Self-Compassion Strategies for Survivors of Intimate Partner Abuse

Mindful Self-Compassion Strategies for Survivors of Intimate Partner Abuse | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Intimate partner abuse is a significant public health issue that is associated with a number of negative emotional responses (such as self-blame and shame), as well as mental health outcomes (such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and suicidality). Although not commonly utilized with survivors of intimate partner abuse (IPA), current research indicates that mindful self-compassion (MSC), a concept embodied by the principles of self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness, can improve emotional responses and mental health outcomes for individuals who have experienced trauma.

 

We lay out the research and potential benefits of using MSC as a healing technique for those who have experienced IPA. Intervention strategies to assist survivors in applying MSC are offered as tools for practitioners in working with survivors. Recommendations are made to guide future research in this area.

 

Miki Tesh, Joy Learman, Rose M. Pulliam

 

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Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits

Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
By compassionately recognizing that you have personal limits, you can respect the legitimacy of the emotions you feel when you have been pushed beyond them.

 

Self-compassion is grounded in the ability to recognize that you are in pain or distress and that this pain or distress deserves and requires attention. Recognizing your limits as they are in this moment in time, personally and as a human being, allows you to acknowledge the legitimacy of your pain and the ensuing need to attend to your distress. You are entirely capable of growing into a person with more self-compassion, and I encourage you in this work. If you desire or need the guidance of a trained professional, do not hesitate to reach out.

 

by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

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4 Reasons to Practice Self-Compassion

4 Reasons to Practice Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

 Developing self-compassion offers far-reaching benefits.

 

1) For instance, you might think that taking a stern approach with yourself about your smoking habit would help to achieve your aim. However, a recent study revealed that smokers who offer themselves self-compassion rather than self-condemnation were able to reduce their smoking more than control subjects (Kelly et al, 2010).

 By RACHEL FINTZY, MA, MFT

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1. stop smoking - less jugements.

2. less procrastination

3. foster creativity  (Zabelina & Robinson)

4. more resilience 

 

 

 

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25 Ways to have a little compassion (for yourself)

25 Ways to have a little compassion (for yourself) | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
It’s come to my attention in the last month or so that I have a deep lack of compassion. Not for others, but for myself.

When it comes to lavishing acknowledgement upon my friends, I’m always there. When it’s time to dole out words of praise to family, I’m always the first in line. Even when a stranger is accused of committing an act of hate, I try to put my judgements aside, and come with compassion. I’m not always successful at these things, but more often than not, my heart is in the right place.

When it comes to self-compassion however, things are a little more . . . complicated.
I don’t know if it’s cultural, societal, or just the way my family raised me, but being selfless to the point of near martyrdom, is preferable to excessively doting on oneself. Sure I can pay myself a compliment. And genuinely recognize when I’ve accomplished something to be proud of. But this type of self acknowledgement is tied to DOING, which is tied to self-esteem. And as I’ve learned very recently, self-esteem and self-compassion are two VERY different things.

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Nurture Personal Growth With Self-Compassion

Nurture Personal Growth With Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Learn to overcome self-defeating impatience with yourself.

 

ou may find that you sometimes lose patience with yourself. You want to think, feel, or act differently than you do; and so your inclination is to tell yourself to just be different in those ways. When this doesn’t happen, you become frustrated and try harder. Rather than making progress, you just end up being harsher with yourself. Despite your intentions, this approach won’t help.

 

What you are failing to take into account is the part of you that’s not ready to change. Whatever its reason is, it will probably just feel intimidated by your self-bullying. So, you need to approach it gently.

 

 Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps

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The power of self-compassion - Harvard Health Publications

The power of self-compassion - Harvard Health Publications | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Harvard psychologist Christopher Germer, in his book The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, suggests that there are five ways to bring self-compassion into your life: via physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual methods. He and other experts have proposed a variety of ways to foster self-compassion. Here are a few:

 

Comfort your body. Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest your body. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.

 

Write a letter to yourself. Describe a situation that caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). Write a letter to yourself describing the situation without blaming anyone. Acknowledge your feelings.

 

Give yourself encouragement. If something bad or painful happens to you, think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing happened to him or her. Direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.

 

Practice mindfulness. This is the nonjudgmental observation of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, without trying to suppress or deny them. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, accept the bad with the good with a compassionate attitude.

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John Michel's curator insight, June 29, 2013 9:43 AM

Forgiving and nurturing yourself can set the stage for better health, relationships, and general well-being. Self-compassion yields a number of benefits, including lower levels of anxiety and depression. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves at these times, which reduces their anxiety and related depression.

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» An Exercise in Self-Compassionate Parenting - World of Psychology

» An Exercise in Self-Compassionate Parenting - World of Psychology | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Applying self-compassion to parenting can be incredibly valuable, according to psychologist and author Kristin Neff, Ph.D, in her book Self-Compassion: Stop

 

Applying self-compassion to parenting can be incredibly valuable, according to psychologist and author Kristin Neff, Ph.D, in her book Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.

 

It’s especially helpful if you’re raising a child who’s under 5. As Neff writes, “Raising infants and toddlers, with their constant need for supervision, picky food habits, tantrums, not to mention dirty diapers, has to be one of the most challenging jobs around.”

 

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.
Associate Editor

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Forget Self-Esteem - The Key To Unlocking Your True Potential

Forget Self-Esteem - The Key To Unlocking Your True Potential | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
A growing body of research, including new studies by Berkeley's Juliana Breines and Serena Chen, suggest that self-compassion, rather than self-esteem, may be the key to unlocking your true potential for greatness.

 

If you look under the "Self-Help" heading on Amazon, you'll find roughly 5,000 books listed under the sub-head "Self-Esteem." The vast majority of these books aim to not only tell you why your self-esteem might be low, but to show you how to get your hands on some more of it. It's a thriving business because self-esteem is, at least in Western cultures, considered the bedrock of individual success. You can't possibly get ahead in life, the logic goes, unless you believe you are perfectly awesome.

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The power of self-compassion - Harvard Health Publications

The power of self-compassion - Harvard Health Publications | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Harvard psychologist Christopher Germer, in his book The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, suggests that there are five ways to bring self-compassion into your life: via physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual methods. He and other experts have proposed a variety of ways to foster self-compassion.

 

Here are a few:

 

Comfort your body. 

Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest your body. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.

 

Write a letter to yourself. 

Describe a situation that caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). Write a letter to yourself describing the situation without blaming anyone. Acknowledge your feelings.

 

Give yourself encouragement.

If something bad or painful happens to you, think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing happened to him or her. Direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.

 

Practice mindfulness. 

This is the nonjudgmental observation of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, without trying to suppress or deny them. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, accept the bad with the good with a compassionate attitude.

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Self-Compassion for Students: This Little Mind Trick Can Ease Homesickness

Self-Compassion for Students: This Little Mind Trick Can Ease Homesickness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

More than a few of those students will suffer homesickness, which can turn into depression, low motivation, insomnia, stomach aches and loneliness -- and their dropout rates are three times higher than non-homesick students, according to one 1993 study. Three Duke University researchers examined one possible solution to the problem:self-compassion. Their results appeared in the journal Self and Identity.

 

According to Kristin Neff, a University of Texas psychologist and author of the 2011 book Self-Compassion, the three features of self-compassion are kindness toward oneself, a sense of common humanity with others and mindfulness -- that is, awareness and acceptance of your own feelings. Her research has found that each of these components buffer people against negative reactions to undesired events, like failure, humiliation and rejection -- all situations that are pretty common during the first year of college.

 

By Bianca Lorenz 

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Self-Compassion for Freshmen

Self-Compassion for Freshmen | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
A recent study suggests that when new college students are kind to themselves, they're less likely to suffer from homesickness.

 

This fall, a record 21.8 million students are estimated to be attending American colleges and universities. Many are leaving home for the first time, and they’re exploring a new environment, forging new relationships, doing their own laundry, and experiencing “the real world.”

More than a few of those students will suffer homesickness, which can turn into depression, low motivation, insomnia, stomach aches, and loneliness—and their dropout rates are three times higher than non-homesick students, according to one 1993 study.

 

Three Duke University researchers examined one possible solution to the problem: self-compassion. Their results appeared in the journal Self and Identity. 

 

By Bianca Lorenz

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Self-compassion, empathy, and helping intentions

Self-compassion, empathy, and helping intentions | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
(2013). Self-compassion, empathy, and helping intentions. The Journal of Positive Psychology. ???aop.label???. doi: 10.1080/17439760.2013.831465

 

The trait of self-compassion has three components: (1) kindness toward oneself when facing pain or failure; (2) perceiving one’s experiences as part of a larger human experience rather than feeling isolated; and (3) holding painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness. The present research explores if self-compassion predicts willingness to help others and empathy for others in need of help.

 

Study 1 found that self-compassion predicted greater willingness to help a hypothetical person while simultaneously reducing empathy for that person. Study 2 used a more nuanced measure of empathy and found that self-compassion was only related to feeling less personal distress in response to someone else’s emergency.

 

In addition, in Study 2, self-compassion only predicted greater helping intentions when the target was at fault for the emergency. Lastly, both self-compassion and empathy were uniquely related to participants’ willingness to help an individual in need.

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Self-compassion can be key to achievement

Self-compassion can be key to achievement | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Judging yourself less can help you achieve more.

 

Without that self-compassion, she might never have put her needs first. Now, her life-changing walk is a reminder to cut herself some slack. But as she points out, you don't have to trek through two countries to have that epiphany. "It could be yoga, it could be anything. Whatever does it for you, take the time to do it.

 

Robin L. Flanigan

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Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness

Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Do you treat yourself gently? Do you acknowledge the sources of distress in your life? Learn self-compassion and begin to heal.

 

This article is the third in a series that aims to look at the concept and development of self-compassion. We’ve defined compassion as a tenderhearted recognition of pain or distress, coupled with a desire to alleviate it. The first article looked at the concept of compassion as a whole while the second explored growing compassion through recognizing limits. This article will look at the first part of our definition of compassion: having tenderheartedness toward your distress.

 

The type of tenderheartedness that is integral to compassion is more than a soft emotion: it is a relational stance. It is easy to forget about and neglect the relationships we have with ourselves, all too often ignoring this relationship or bullying ourselves. For example, many survivors of trauma will repeat the words an abusive individual once hurled at them, and in turn will develop an abusive relationship with themselves. Self-compassion stands in opposition to this and offers a gentler way to interact with yourself.

 

by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

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Exploring Self Compassion: A retreat in Washington, Sep 26–29, 2013

Exploring Self Compassion: A retreat in Washington, Sep 26–29, 2013 | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

I’m leading a retreat September 26th to September 29th at Camp Delaney, Sun Lakes State Park, Washington, on the theme of Exploring Self Compassion.

Self compassion is essential if we are to have compassion for others. It is also a powerful tool for transforming our lives, freeing us from fear and resentment and unleashing a more joyful and creative approach to life

 

On this retreat we’ll explore, step-by-step, how to cultivate self-compassion. We’ll learn to become more mindful of our own suffering, and to accept it without reacting. We’ll explore how to hold our suffering in mind compassionately, and how to imbue our minds with a compassionate awareness.

 

Bodhipaksa

 

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Psychopaths Don’t Lack Empathy: They Just Have The Ability To Turn It Off At Will

Psychopaths Don’t Lack Empathy: They Just Have The Ability To Turn It Off At Will | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
A new study using functional MRI shows that individuals diagnosed as psychopaths can turn off their empathy at will.

 

In the end, the research suggests that people with the psychological diagnosis can have the same areas of their brain activated as healthy individuals can. But the research does not go into whether the study's psychpathic participants could actually feel empathy on demand, rather than just regions of their brains being activated. "Psychopathy may not be so much the incapacity to empathize, but a reduced propensity to empathize, paired with a preserved capacity to empathize when required to do so," said Valeria Gazzola, one of the study's authors.

BY JONATHAN WEISS, PH.D. |

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Self-Compassion Step by Step - Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion Step by Step - Kristin Neff | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

A Six-Session Training Course for Transforming Your Relationship with Yourself

6.5 CE credits available!

Why does it feel so natural to be compassionate and kind to those we care about—yet so hard to treat ourselves the same way? "Our culture teaches us to use self-criticism for motivation and to build self-esteem by constantly measuring ourselves against everyone else," says Dr. Kristin Neff. "We need to re-learn the essential skill of being genuinely nurturing and supportive toward ourselves." With Self-Compassion Step by Step, this groundbreaking researcher reveals the clinically proven power of self-kindness, with practical training for cultivating an enduring and unshakable sense of your fundamental human worthiness.

 

Self-Compassion: The Mainstay of Happiness and Well-Being

 

Course objectives:

Define self-compassion as a practice to increase happiness, optimism, and curiosity in our lives, while decreasing anxiety, depression, and stress.

 

Discuss how self-compassion motivates with love—providing clear vision and nurturance needed to reach our full potential

 

Discuss how to turn toward our emotions withcuriosity, openness, and non-judgement to counter the Default Mode Network.


Define empathy, self-esteem, loving kindness, and equanimity as related to compassion for ourselves, our loved ones, and all beings.

 

Practice and utilize guided meditations and experiential exercises in mindfulness meditation, loving kindness, interconnectedness, and working with difficult emotions as a way to embrace our lives and cultivate kindness toward ourselves.

 

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Don Karp's curator insight, August 16, 2013 11:05 PM

I'd never realized the relationship of self-confidence to self-compassion. In fact I'd never considered the concept ot self-compassion. This is good!

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The Empathy Paradox: Mastering Empathy for Others Begins With Knowing Yourself

The Empathy Paradox: Mastering Empathy for Others Begins With Knowing Yourself | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Tahoe is my place for self-reflection – where is yours?

 

Empathy is ultimately other-regarding, but I’m convinced that mastering it begins with understanding yourself – your emotions, your desires, your flaws. And for me, it includes understanding how lucky I am to have Tahoe in the first place. In this way, empathy is hard: it takes awareness and perspective. It takes space. But in our world of relentless demands and distractions, it’s far easier to become self-absorbed than self-aware. Which is why it’s essential that we create this space for ourselves – in big ways and small – so that we can use our understanding of ourselves to better understand and serve others.

 

By Michael Zakaras

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No Time for Self-Compassion? Notes on healing postpartum depression

No Time for Self-Compassion? Notes on healing postpartum depression | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Sometimes it’s easier to take care of others than it is to take care of ourselves. Nowhere is this more true than with postpartum women.

 

How many times have I caught myself saying to a client, if you were only half as good at taking care of yourself as you are of others, you would feel better? How many women have looked back at me with tired eyes that seemed to say, “Really? I have nothing left to give.”

 

Recently I came across the work of Kristen Neff, Phd and her focus on self-compassion. Dennis Tirch also does this work, but Kristen’s “self-compassion breaks” resonated with our work with postpartum women.

 

by Karen Kleiman,

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Licia Freeman's curator insight, November 7, 2013 10:17 AM

Be your best friend, not worst enemy

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Cultivating Self-Empathy

Cultivating Self-Empathy | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Perspectives Issue 11: March, 2013 In This Issue Self-Empathy Fundamentals Upcoming Workshops Spring into Change: Coaching group starts in April Know...

 

Have you ever attempted self-empathy and found that you just end up getting stuck in unpleasant feelings and a swirl of repetitive thoughts? A number of people have reported this experience to me. Let’s define self-empathy and break it down a bit more into its fundamental elements.

Self-empathy is meant to allow space for you to experience all that is alive in you with acceptance and honor for that experience.

Self-empathy isn’t meant to be an elixir that removes unpleasant feelings.

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