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Self Empathy and Happier Relationships

Self Empathy and Happier Relationships | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
In my work in my own life and with couples and families, I have found that Self-Empathy IS actually a key to breaking these cycles of disconnection.

Practiced skillfully, it gives us a way to stop the yelling and get back to a connected state. Self-Empathy can (and does every day) save partners, family members, even work associates unthinkable amounts of grief.
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The latest news, articles, videos, books, posts about Self-Empathy and Self-Compassion - CultureOfEmpathy.com
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Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page

Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Empathy Cafe Magazine Front Page


Visit the individual magazines specifically for empathy and;

*   Main Page All
*   Animals
*   Art
*   Compassion

*   Compassionate Communications (NVC)

*   Curriculums
*   Education
*   Empaths

*   Empathy Quotes

*   Empathic Design - Empathy in Human-Centered Design (New!)
*   Health Care

*   Justice

*   Self-Empathy & Self-Compassion
*   Teaching - Learning
*   Work 

*   etc.


====================

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It also helps us rise in the rankings 
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===========

Thanks so much.

Edwin Rutsch, Editor

Join us on Facebook Center for Building a Culture of Empathy
http://CultureOfEmpathy.com

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norma neiva's comment, June 6, 2011 7:28 PM
Muito obrigada por tudo que li e ouvi. A paz!! vou apreender pra mim e a outros.
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How Self-Compassion Beats Rumination

How Self-Compassion Beats Rumination | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
A new study suggests that self-compassion improves mood, largely by helping us avoid negative rumination.


What is the solution?

We focused on nurturing self-compassion, which means becoming mindfully aware of the pain one feels when experiencing moments of failure, recognizing that such shortcomings are common to all human beings, and then evoking a sense of kindness and care toward one’s self in those moments.


By Linda Graham 

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Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits

Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

By compassionately recognizing that you have personal limits, you can respect the legitimacy of the emotions you feel when you have been pushed beyond them.


Most people would agree that having a compassionate stance towards oneself is desirable. But how do you cultivate self-compassion?


Let’s quickly define the term. In this article, “compassion” means tenderhearted recognition of pain or distress, coupled with a desire to alleviate it.


Each component of this definition—recognition, tenderheartedness, and a desire to alleviate distress—offers opportunities for cultivating compassion. This article will look at how the skill of “recognition” can help you grow self-compassion.


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Practicing self-compassion: How to Be the World’s Best Soulmate

Practicing self-compassion: How to Be the World’s Best Soulmate | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

BY NANCI BESSER 

The Challenge: Everyone wants to find their soulmate, but how can we be that for someone else?


The Science: Surprisingly, empathy and kindness toward yourself is the key to being a wonderful partner.


The Solution:Here are 3 steps to becoming AND finding the perfect soulmate.


Everyone wants a soulmate. Yet what does it take to be a perfect partner to that soulmate?


Practicing self-compassion might be a strong indicator of the presence or absence of empathy in an individual. 

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Self-Compassion & the Cultivation of Happiness with Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion & the Cultivation of Happiness with Kristin Neff | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

This day-long seminar led by self-compassion pioneer Kristin Neff,will offer strategies for cultivating self-compassion, boosting happiness, and reducing stress in yourself and others.


Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned by anyone. It involves generating feelings of kindness and care toward ourselves as imperfect human beings, and learning to be present with greater ease during life's inevitable struggles. It is an antidote to harsh self-criticism, making us feel connected to others when we suffer, rather than feeling isolated and alienated.


Unlike self-esteem, the good feelings of self-compassion do not depend on being special and better than other people; instead, they come from caring about ourselves and embracing our commonalities.

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Audio: Simple Self Empathy Tools to Help You Enjoy the Holidays

Audio: Simple Self Empathy Tools to Help You Enjoy the Holidays | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Mary Mackenzie to learn a few of her tried-and-true simple Self Empathy techniques, especially focused on the challenges of the holiday season.

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How Does Mindfulness Help Cultivate Self-Compassion?

How Does Mindfulness Help Cultivate Self-Compassion? | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

The author and pioneering University of Texas psychologist explains how awareness of your own thoughts and feelings can lead you to be kinder toward yourself—and why this self-compassion brings a host of mental and physical health benefits.

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Show Me Empathy! A Traveling Exhibition

Show Me Empathy! A Traveling Exhibition | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Show Me Empathy! is a traveling exhibition for 6-year olds and up, where most recent scientific research on empathy and its multiple layers affecting various domains of our lives, are communicated through interactive storytelling and immersive experiential learning experiences.


The Problem

Despite the well-known benefits of empathy towards personal, social, and environmental well-being, except a few non-profit initiatives and schools with empathy related programs, there are no neutral public platforms that systematically inspire and enable individuals to explore, discover, and


utilize empathy with a goal to

cause positive behavior change.

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The Self-Compassion Cheat Sheet

The Self-Compassion Cheat Sheet | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

One of the hurdles most of us run into when trying to become more self-compassionate is not knowing what “self-compassion” looks like.  If you’ve ever been in a situation where English isn’t the preferred language, you’ve likely experienced having trouble finding the words to ask for/express/get what you want. Without language, it’s pretty difficult to communicate. You find yourself gesturing and pointing and feeling distressed and frustrated. So, when you’re in the process of changing your relationship to yourself, you’ll likely experience similar feelings. Remember trying to learn French or Spanish or Japanese or ASL? It didn’t come naturally; it was foreign. By Megan Bruneau •

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The Miracle of the Self-Compassion Habit : zenhabits

Let’s hypothesize that there’s a substance that’s been irritating you and causing problems in all areas of your life: it causes you to be unhappy, to be stressed, to procrastinate, to be distracted, to be angry with people, to be dissatisfied with your life, to be overweight and unhealthy, to not exercise or eat healthy, and much more.


Horrible substance, right? Now imagine there were a salve that could ease the bad effects of this substance, and make all those other areas better.


The substance is real: it’s your suffering. We all suffer, in small and large ways, every day.


And it causes all the other problems I mentioned.

 By Leo Babauta

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Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits

Self-Compassion, Part II: Recognizing Your Limits | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Most people would agree that having a compassionate stance towards oneself is desirable. But how do you cultivate self-compassion?


Let’s quickly define the term. In this article, “compassion” means tenderhearted recognition of pain or distress, coupled with a desire to alleviate it.


Each component of this definition—recognition, tenderheartedness, and a desire to alleviate distress—offers opportunities for cultivating compassion.


=======================

This article will look at how the skill

of “recognition” can help you

grow self-compassion.

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by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

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Self-Compassion, Part IV: Coping with Distress

Self-Compassion, Part IV: Coping with Distress | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Healing only occurs when one can feel their pain without becoming overwhelmed by it. Self-compassion can help achieve this balance.


In this series, we have been looking at how to increase the compassion you have for yourself. The first article looked at the concept of self-compassion as a whole, the second explored how to recognize your limits, and the third focused on how to have tenderheartedness toward your distress. This article is the final installation on using compassion in facing and accepting emotional distress.


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I encourage you to practice growing
self-compassion for who you are,
who you have been, and for all that
you have gone through.

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by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

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Video: Do customers need more empathy

Video: Do customers need more empathy | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Do customers need more empathy? How do you know?


The 29 Quality Assurance Mistakes to Avoid e-book and self-assessment includes the question Do you include the customers’ rating of agents’ empathy to their situation as part of your current quality process?  The e-book contains reflective questions designed to uncover opportunities with Quality Assurance programs within contact centers. Identifying opportunities or detecting weaknesses is a critical step on the journey to elevate your contact center to one of undeniable importance to the organization. Let’s not get too focused on finding answers in a benchmarking report.


==========================

So how can you determine when

customers need more empathy?

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Self-compassion: An essential ingredient for change makers

Self-compassion: An essential ingredient for change makers | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Being kind to yourself isn’t just about patching yourself up so you can head back out onto the battlefield to fight for social justice. It’s a personal and political act which shows that you are worthy of being valued, cared for and loved, writes Julie Catt....


Ways to develop self-compassion

  •   Spend a little time in nature each day, allowing yourself to feel part of, rather than a visitor to, the natural environment.

  •  Become familiar with your body. Stroke your skin, sink into crevasses and over lumps. Appreciate it as a complex, changeable, warm, imperfect landscape that is uniquely your own, for the rest of your life.

  • Develop a mantra (something like: “I accept myself fully, and all feelings pass”, “I’m not afraid of being afraid”, or whatever fits), learn a breathing technique that works for you, and use them when anxiety comes to visit. ...
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Two-Day Workshop on Mindful Self-Compassion

Two-Day Workshop on Mindful Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Join us for this two-day workshop to learn the core skills of the 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) training, an empirically-supported program designed to cultivate self-compassion using meditation, daily life practices, lecture, group exercises and discussion.


Self-compassion is an emotional skill that can be learned by anyone. Recent research has shown that self-compassion greatly enhances emotional wellbeing, reduces anxiety and depression, enhances coping, promotes health behaviors, and increases motivation.


This workshop is open to anyone wanting to learn essential tools for treating yourself in a respectful, compassionate way whenever you suffer, fail, or feel inadequate. This is a great way to overcome pleasing others and practicing more self-care.

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Practise Self-Compassion To Improve How You Feel About Yourself

Practise Self-Compassion To Improve How You Feel About Yourself | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

I’ve been thinking about self-esteem lately, and how you can never have too much of it (or so I thought)


I wanted to find out more about how self-esteem works and how to give it a boost when it’s running low.


I was surprised to find that self-esteem isn’t as straight-forward as I’d thought — what matters more is self-compassion.


BELLE BETH COOPE

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Can Self-Compassion Overcome Procrastination?

Can Self-Compassion Overcome Procrastination? | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Putting something off can trigger a downward negative spiral. But a recent study suggests that being kind to yourself can help you achieve your goals.


Low self-compassion, high stress


Fuschia M. Sirois of Bishop’s University in Canada examined whether self-compassion—kindness and understanding toward one’s self in response to pain or failure
— could be related to procrastination and the stress and suffering that procrastination causes.


By Linda Graham 

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The Effect of Self-compassion on Emotions when Experiencing a Sense of Inferiority Across Comparison Situations

This study examined different emotions induced by social comparisons between the two groups divided by the level of self- compassion. A total of 108 Korean undergraduates (62% women; mean age of 21 years) first responded to the self-compassion scale to divide them into either high or low self-compassion group.


They were also presented with two scenarios (upward and downward comparisons). After reading each scenario, respectively, they completed a survey to assess their emotions. ANOVA results showed no significant difference between high and low self-compassion groups in experience of positive emotion, whereas the high self-compassion group reported less negative feelings than their counterpart after both scenarios.


This suggests that self-compassion is a potentially influential factor buffering the negative consequences of social comparisons.



Young Min Choi
Dong-gwi Lee 


Hee-Kyung Lee


img http://j.mp/1nuKHMw


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Mindful Self-Compassion

Mindful Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Details and information regarding the Mindful Self-Compassion program


The Mindful Self-Compassion program is an empirically-supported, 8-week, training program designed to cultivate the skill of self-compassion. Based on the groundbreaking research of Kristin Neff and the clinical expertise of Christopher Germer, MSC teaches core principles and practices that enable participants to respond to difficult moments in their lives with kindness, care and understanding.

Programs at The Heart's Nest:
Having completed the MSC Teacher Training I am offering 8 week programs each term. These are small groups (8-10 people) so please contact me if you are interested in participating in this wonderful program. The first program will commence mid-July. 

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Self-Compassion: Does It Help or Hinder Performance?

Self-Compassion: Does It Help or Hinder Performance? | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

Psychologists have recently begun to emphasize the virtues of a skill called self-compassion – where we treat ourselves with more understanding and kindness. It’s sort of like the Golden Rule in reverse.

But for many high-achievers, it’s a strategy that feels wrong. Perhaps because it sounds vaguely like giving ourselves an easy out for mistakes, and thereby lowering our standards.


So does self-compassion apply
to high-achievers?


Or is it something that might lead to better psychological well-being, but ultimately keep us from realizing our full potential?
 

by Dr. Noa Kageyama 

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Have Compassion for Yourself

Have Compassion for Yourself | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
How one author breaks the cycles of self-loathing


As journalist Anneli Rufus sees it, the self-hating person inhabits a world of muted despair that prevents him or her from ever feeling at ease in the world. InUnworthy: How to Stop Hating Yourself, Rufus mines the intractable, negative perceptions that she and others have held about themselves, and analyzes the emergence of self-esteem as a goal that feels unattainable for many people. I spoke with Rufus about what it's like to live with low self-esteem in an esteem-driven world, and how people who experience self-loathing can establish healthier relationships with themselves and others in their lives.


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If we can have compassion for ourselves,

then we are inviting ourselves to have

compassion for others, which makes

relationships fairer and more equal.

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Have Compassion for Yourself

Have Compassion for Yourself | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

JUDITH OHIKUARE

How one author breaks the cycles of self-loathing


If we can have compassion for ourselves, then we are inviting ourselves to have compassion for others, which makes relationships fairer and more equal.

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Self-Compassion, Part I: After Trauma

Self-Compassion, Part I: After Trauma | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
What is compassion? How can we show compassion to ourselves and others? Begin by ditching judgment and practicing acceptance.


A common but frequently unrecognized side effect of traumatic life experiences is an excessive harshness toward oneself, which often coexists with a healthy degree of care and concern for others. While this harshness toward oneself can be expressed in a multitude of ways, a commonality is the existence of different standards for yourself than the standards held of others. Be it standards regarding fairness, worth, acceptability, or love, the standards for yourself can be far more stringent, unrealistic, and possibly unattainable.


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Phrased another way,
you judge yourself with more
rigorous criteria than you use
for anyone else.
 
============== 


by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD

 

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Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness

Self-Compassion, Part III: Growing Tenderheartedness | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
Do you treat yourself gently? Do you acknowledge the sources of distress in your life? Learn self-compassion and begin to heal.


This article is the third in a series that aims to look at the concept and development of self-compassion. We’ve defined compassion as a tenderhearted recognition of pain or distress, coupled with a desire to alleviate it. The first article looked at the concept of compassion as a whole while the second explored growing compassion through recognizing limits.


======================

This article will look at the first part

of our definition of compassion:

having tenderheartedness toward

your distress.

===========


 by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD


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Experimenting with Self-Compassion

Experimenting with Self-Compassion | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it
It's hard to be self-compassionate but focusing on small shifts helps. Here are some examples.


One of the hardest things about building a healthier relationship with ourselves is changing our inner dialogue. The inner critic can just be so darn loud.

For instance, when we even think about being nicer to ourselves, the nastiness starts.


Why do you think you deserve this? You still haven’t lost the weight. Who are you kidding?


Or the negative thought of all negative thoughts: Who do you think you are?


We’re convinced that we need to be mean to ourselves in order to move about our days. In order to “get results.” In order to “get healthy.” 


==========================

We’re convinced that we need to 

be mean to ourselves in order to

move about our days.

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 By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY

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7 Steps to Self-Compassion with Diabetes

7 Steps to Self-Compassion with Diabetes | Self-Empathy | Scoop.it

 By  Leann Harris

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion allows us to do something truly healthy for ourselves. It’s my antidote to shame. Instead of the voices in my head belittling me and making me feel worse, I’m extending to myself the kindness and understanding I crave.


Studies have proved for years that making people feel ashamed and “wrong” in order to change behavior actually has the opposite effect. Self-compassion counteracts damaging message by giving us the space to experience less anxiety and stress, and really feel our value as a human.


So here’s what I do:

  1. When I notice my inner critic getting into action, I mindfully stop and acknowledge what is happening. “I’m beating myself up again in an effort to motivate action.” This first step of noticing is crucial and can be learned....
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