"Our style of attachment affects everything from our partner selection to how well our relationships progress to, sadly, how they end. That is why recognizing your attachment pattern can help you understand your strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood.
Our model of attachment influences how each of us attempts to get our needs met. When we have a secure attachment pattern, we are confident and self-possessed and are able to easily interact with others, meeting both our own and another person's needs. However, when we have an anxious or avoidant attachment pattern, we may pick a partner who fits with this maladaptive pattern, and we will most likely be choosing someone who isn't the ideal choice to make us happy.
For example, if we have a working model of anxious/preoccupied attachment, we will feel that in order to get close to someone and have our needs met, we need to be with our partner all the time and get reassurance. To support this perception of reality, we may choose someone who is isolated and hard to connect with. If we have a working model of dismissive/avoidant attachment, we will have a tendency to be distant, because our model is that the way to get our needs met is to act like we don't have any. We may then choose someone who is more possessive or overly demanding of attention.
In a sense, we set ourselves up by finding partners that confirm our models. If we grew up with an insecure attachment pattern, we may project or seek to duplicate similar patterns of relating as adults, even when these patterns hurt us and are not in our own self-interest..."
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Via Dimitris Tsantaris